This chapter doesn't have very much dialogue and is mainly consumed by eternal debate. The end will reviel the surprise I've had planned since the beginning. Not much is to say except for...
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and if I did I'd be on the bookshelves, not fanfic
Italics= alternate ego/thoughts that are debating with her other thoughts.
Taming, chapter 7: Prepare for impact
The drugs numb the pain, making my mind swirl upon a mix of misery and bliss. There's no telling what is real now because no one can tell me that I'm just imagining it. Hell and Heaven meet once more in a dark and sun heated cloud from the evaperated rains. So yes, though my heart aches as if just punched or winded from a great fall, my mind tells me everything is great, that everything's fine. My heart says otherwise.
Swept away by such confusion, my mind is put into an coma and body into paralysis, now barely able to tell if I am breathing or not. Maryland left me and has yet to return. She is gone just as Prim is, leaving me without a second glance. I am alone now, living in such a dire solitude my head beats in sinc with my heart.
As I lay in the room -or I assume I'm lying- covered with white grey walls with the texture of velvet and the smell of staralyzed hospitals, I allow myself to no longer belong to my body, only to belong to the air.
She's gone, the bombs took her, stealing my last hope with her ghost. She is never to return to me, only belonging to her grave now. Her marble stone marks the end, signifying the last era of happiness. Wait. Bombs? The car took her life, smashing her fragile body with its side. She wasn't saving a life only to have her own taken, she was riding home from school with Madge safely. But she wasn't safe. She still died and she's still gone. It's my fault... no it's not, it's Madges'. She killed Prim! No she didn't, I practically set those bombs and wasn't able to reach her in time. There were no bombs. She didn't prepare for impact, either way it happened. She was crushed or blown to bits, both lying in the hands of man. But she isn't gone. Yes she is! She left forever, never to return, never to take another breath or to finish her magic act she had worked so hard on. Her life wasn't complete, but it is over.
Am I gone? Do I no longer exist as the bird flying in the air does, as the little girl that skips her way to- she doesn't exist anymore. Never to skip with her small thin legs again and never to laugh and hum different tunes of delight. Am I like her though? I want to be, I want to see her again.
I feel an odd sensation, as if my body had fallen asleep from lack of movement, my body begins to tingle. It begins to bur when my fingers flex, it begins to ache with abuse. It begins to shut down again from so little food, but something won't let it. A thing that is warm and soft, but harsh and strong with its grip. Something that is beautiful on the outside and speaks of love, though turns around with a mask covered face only to kill it's companion. A thing that makes me begin to execrate it.
Human beings.
I feel my throat again, it stiff and dry from dehydration as I release a muffled scream. My eyes are crest over, the lids stuck to my cheeks as they attempt to flutter open. My hands are cramped and tight as my fingers stretch greedilly only to feel a popping sensation. My back is soar from my stiffness and odd position. The uneven surface beneath me causing the heat to rise and my sweat glans to release liquid. My mind is tired, but ready for use, but my heart is done, ready to be put out to pasture.
They're waking me up.
As my eyes escape their former position, they're blury as they study my surroundings. The surface beneath me in a couch -no- a row of seats in a car lying in slant. The person before me is a nurse, sitting at my feet, nudging them gingerly as she studies my progress from her clip-board. I am hot from thick blankets covering me in the un-air conditioned car and my warm clothing under it. I know where I am -or at least I think I do.
You're not here at all, your eyes trick you! They do not lie, I know where I am. But you only think that, you aren't there at all. Your in a large room in the capitol on your trial. I am in a car. There are no cars where you are now. You need no transportation. Transportation? Where am I being transported to? No where, next place you go will be the balcony they planned for you to stand on, to assinate Snow. Snow. It is not Snowing here, it is hot and humid where I'm at now. President Snow. The one who murdered all of your loved ones. Who killed Rue, Mags, Wiress, Finnick, Madge, Greasy Sae, and Prim. I do not know a Greasy Sae other than the one who used to work at my school as the cook. Madge is alive and well, the one who sat at the drivers seat of the car... Finnick is alive. Well? I cannot say, but I know he is fine as he can get. I haven't seen Wiress since I was ten and in school, the girl who averaged in grade A's. Who died from cancer a month after school ended, my old friend. Mags was my grandmother, who past long ago. She died when I was young, little older than seven. Rue is at HMI with Finnick and I trust she is well. Prim. She- she is gone. She was the passenger in Madges' car in which she drove. She was Rues' friend and loved by all. She was Mags' youngest grandaughter and standing at her favorite even though she was very small. Prim left everything behind. You behind.
"Katniss, dear, how are yoy feeling," she nurse asks quietly. I don't answer, only trying to return back to my slumber, my stupor I miss.
"Katniss, you must stay awake, we have arrived." This gets my attention as I bolt up, wide eyed. "Where... you... me... car... are... now... I... here," I stutter, only to be answered with the same quiet and calm tone.
"You have been transferred to a more experienced institution, where they can help you better than ourselves could." This doesn't make since. Nothing makes since because it's not real, you're in Panem, not America. I'm in America, but where? I'm no longer in North Carolina, that is for sure. You're no longer in District Twelve either. I'm... Where am I?
As if the nurse could read my thoughts, she answers quietly and efficiently. "You are in-," she begins, but is cut off as the door to the car opens.
So she's been moved! Well, this story has officially hit the mark I've wanted since I started it. Thank you to all of my reviewers and also (yes, you're a reviewer too, but you're being thanked seperately) thanks to Cassies Neighbor for everything of which will wait to be said until next chapter. You are a fabulous writer, one of which I will never be :(:
To those of you that have read some of my other stories, sorry for not updating. Right now I'm really busy and have writers block sadly. Yes, I caught the desease! Hopefully I'll write for you guys soon. Au revoir!
