ACT THREE

Ireland—1745

INT. LIAM'S HOME

Dinner has clearly just finished. Liam's parents, his sister Katherine, Seamus, and his wife Ciara are all laughing heartily about something that was said. Liam just sits with his arms crossed looking like the Grumpy Gus he is. Liam's mother and Ciara promptly get engaged in conversation about cooking and go into the kitchen to have a look at something. Katherine, feeling left out, follows shortly thereafter, leaving the men to sit around the table.

LIAM'S FATHER
What are your plans for the evening, Seamus?

SEAMUS
I thought perhaps I'd wander to the village.

LIAM'S FATHER
Wonderful. Liam will show you around.

LIAM
(scoffing)
Ah, father, you truly have gone mad.

LIAM'S FATHER
You will do as you're told, boy.

SEAMUS
That won't be necessary, uncle, but thank you. I have been in the village before; surely it isn't big enough to get lost in.

LIAM'S FATHER
You might not need the assistance, but it would be to his benefit to accompany you. Your example might demonstrate to him how a proper gentleman acts in public.

LIAM
If Seamus is your idea of a gentleman, father, then I don't believe I've any interest in being one.

His father's face contorts with anger as Liam starts to rise from the table. Instantly, though Seamus was seated on the other side of the table, Liam finds himself face to face with him. His cousin again has him by the neck, but because there's no wall nearby, Liam is being lifted into the air.

SEAMUS
Now, now, cousin. A walk through the village might give us an opportunity to catch up… away from any distractions.

Liam searches the room, wide-eyed, face absolutely etched with pure terror. His attempts to scream are thwarted by the lack of air to his lungs. Still he looks to his father only to see him frozen, mouth open as though in mid-sentence. Confused and struggling for breath, Liam looks frantically around for some weapon or indication that he isn't imagining this. He glances at the entrance to the kitchen to see his sister in mid-leap; she hovers in the air, frozen. Not even her dress moves.

SEAMUS (cont'd)
You see you have no alternative than to do as I ask. When I let go, do not yell or make a fuss. You'll only make a fool out of yourself. Simply agree to accompany me through the town, and I will explain myself. Do I make myself understood, cousin?

Liam's face is now a significant shade of red. His panic increases with each passing instant.

SEAMUS (cont'd)
Just nod.

Liam nods, reluctantly and with much difficulty. All at once, Seamus is seated exactly where he was; Liam is standing exactly where he was, though now gasping for breath; Katherine lands softly on the ground; Liam's father forms the words that have been dwelling on his tongue for at least thirty seconds.

LIAM'S FATHER
Idiot boy! You dare make a fool of me in front of company. You'll… Liam?

Liam's face is still etched with horror. His eyes pop and he rubs his neck, trying to find words. He stares at Seamus with blind panic. Seamus simply sits calmly and frowns slightly at Liam, appearing to appear concerned.

LIAM'S FATHER (cont'd)
Are you choking, boy?

LIAM
(pointing at Seamus)
De… mon… demon…

Realizing suddenly that his father wouldn't believe him in any case, Liam turns and runs from the house, still clutching his neck. Seamus sighs and makes a mental note that asking them not to make a fuss doesn't work.

SEAMUS
I'll go after him to find out what the matter is. I crave some fresh air, in any case.

As Seamus strides from the house, his falsified look of concern dissolved into the ever-present smile. We fade into his coat as he walks into the camera and suddenly are in the

Present

INT. WOLFRAM AND HART LOBBY

Melody and Seamus walk out of the elevator together.

MELODY
I just can't help but feel like maybe we should be making sure he doesn't do something stupid.

SEAMUS
Connor's fine. Liam's just watching him sleep.

MELODY
How do you know that, though?

SEAMUS
I just checked.

MELODY
Oh. Right. That freaky weird superpower. What's that about, anyway?

For the first time since his appearance, Seamus hesitates. His pompous but endearing demeanor seems to dissolve for a second.

SEAMUS
It's not important.

MELODY
Sure it is. You were scary! You didn't even have to grab me by the neck or anything, I would have taken you down to Angel if you'd said you were his cousin.

SEAMUS
Sorry. Old habit. Threatening people external to the time frame seems so much more practical to me, anyway. No one asking questions or trying to stop you or arrest you or anything.

MELODY
So you like, what, pause time while you threaten people?

SEAMUS
Actually I move them into a temporary dimension with an invisible seal to the one they belong in so they don't know the difference.

MELODY
Cool. So does that mean you were lying when you said that thing about other evil companies that trick people?

SEAMUS
No. There really are other companies like that. I'm just not affiliated with any.

MELODY
Oh. So you're, like, a demon of some kind?

SEAMUS
Dimensional demon. Can we change the subject?

MELODY
No. Why are you so twitchy about this?

SEAMUS
And why are you hiding behind a preppy persona?

MELODY
(blushing)
I don't know what you're talking about.

SEAMUS
Sure you do. Ever since you came into possession of the Inter-dimensional, you've been… entranced with dimension 5074. The dimension is in your prophecy, whatever that's called. I always forget every time I leave this dimension. Anyway, you've been watching Wolfram and Hart in that dimension at your leisure, haven't you? Seeing how things are done. Seeing how the boss likes everything so he won't someday wish he had Harmony back…

MELODY
Shut up.

Seamus' arrogant smile is back. He turns Melody's words back on her, sarcastically, but she doesn't notice.

SEAMUS
Why are you so twitchy about this?

MELODY
You don't know, okay? You don't know what it's like to work for a company like Wolfram and Hart. It's cutthroat, all the time, and I mean that literally. It's better to act stupid than to be cunning, because if people think you're airheaded, they assume they're smarter than you are and don't see you as a threat. My old boss looked out for me; told me what was what around Wolfram and Hart when I first started working here. People eventually forgot my first day when I started giving suggestions and paid more attention to the fact that I suddenly seemed to know nothing about anything. I've seen… interns break lawyers' necks for no reason other than difference in intelligence. It's not a good place. And yeah, okay. So I picked up a few pointers when Harmony started working there. And maybe I deceived you about never having heard of her. Maybe I needed the practice.

Seamus smiles, only it seems very kind this time. Even if it no longer worked on his dear cousin, he still had the knack to make people spill their guts.

SEAMUS
You're compromising yourself in the process, miss. Liam… Angel… isn't a mass murderer anymore. He's under stress because of this situation, but he won't hurt you unless he has a very good reason to.

MELODY
He almost killed Connor.

SEAMUS
Well, yes, but that's because he has a connection to him. Angel saw every one of his screw ups in the form of his son, and he tried to destroy it, because he was trying so hard to do the right thing for so long and kept failing. All these failures at once sent him plummeting off the edge. But he's back now, more or less.

MELODY
I can't just be someone else.

SEAMUS
Being someone else is all you've been doing! Doesn't it get tiresome? Don't you wish you could just relax?

MELODY
Of course. But I don't think it'd be…

SEAMUS
Listen. Your new boss is a Junior Partner. No one would dare touch you now. Besides, Liam will respond to you much better if you stop trying to deceive him. Didn't you respond better to me when I was candid with you?

Melody nods. Her hair covers her face. Seamus realizes that she's crying and pulls a handkerchief from his pocket, handing it to her. She accepts it and mutters a thank you as the elevators ding and Angel walks into the lobby. He still looks to be a terribly broody fellow, but he's not crazy anymore, so that's a plus.

SEAMUS
How's the boy?

ANGEL
(face flashing anger)
He'll be fine. Do we have any leads on where the others are being held captive?

SEAMUS
Ah, therein lies the problem. They have no idea, and judging by the lack of employees bustling through here, I doubt anyone else does either. Where is everyone?

ANGEL
I don't have time to worry about it. Melody, I know you're upset about something, but we honestly don't have time right now. Did they tell you anything when you talked to them?

Melody keeps her face hidden. Her voice sounds slightly stuffy.

MELODY
They said they were in a basement or a cellar, and Alexa said something about… rubbing alcohol.

ANGEL
That could apply to anywhere with a downstairs bathroom. Did you trace the call?

MELODY
I tried. It was like the number became invalid the second Alexa hung up.

ANGEL
Damnit.

He strides into his office and grabs the duster off the back of his chair, putting it on as he heads toward the elevators.

MELODY
Wait.

ANGEL
What?

MELODY
Anya. She's liason to the Partners, right? Why would she be tied up if that was the case? Hamilton wasn't ever in trouble like that. Eve wasn't until she was mortal again. So why is the liason suddenly sitting helpless with a couple of humans?

ANGEL
(furrowing his brow)
She's involved.

MELODY
Just a theory.

ANGEL
No. It's good. The address might in her office somewhere. …Where is her office?

MELODY
She doesn't have one…
(ducking behind her desk)
…but she left her bag behind when she left. I assume this is her journal.

Angel takes it and flips through it. He nods and walks into the elevator.

ANGEL
I'll have to look as I go. Take the rest of the day off. Come in tomorrow morning and we'll have a nice discussion, starting with why you know so much about my old dimension. You've done good work today.

SEAMUS
And me, cousin?

ANGEL
You can drive Melody home and then get the hell out of my dimension.

The elevator doors close. Seamus rolls his eyes and turns to Melody. He takes her hand and she gets up off her chair. Cut to

INT. DARK CELLAR

Gunn is smiling dreamily, Wesley is humming an old tune from his childhood very loudly and very off-key, and Alexa and Anya are both trying desperately to get free.

ANYA
It's no use. We have to be unaware of the bar for us to get free, and if we're trying to get free from it, we obviously know it's there.

ALEXA
But if it's not actually there, how come it's so hard to get away from?

WESLEY
Who in the hell is Yankee Doodle and why does he have such a stupid name?

ANYA
Because we're aware of it. It's evil that way. It's an evil, evil bar that simply cannot be stopped.

GUNN
Whoa, whoa, whoa, man. Are you dissin' America?

ALEXA
We can't be collectively imagining this bar! We woke up attached to it! This doesn't make the slightest bit of sense.

WESLEY
I don't mean Yankee, I mean Doodle. No one's last name is Doodle. Who does he think he's fooling? Not me, that's for sure.

ANYA
Well… maybe someone's making it exist by the sheer power of their will and they got distracted temporarily. Or something.

GUNN
Pff. Like "Wyndham-Pryce" is a normal name.

WESLEY
Hey! Well, Gunn is stupid, too. Gunn and Doodle could form a club of people with stupid last names.

ALEXA
Maybe. Maybe one of the invisible people is doing this. But it's not like we really have a lot of chance anymore anyway. We've got, what, five minutes left?

ANYA
Not even.

GUNN
Hey, man. That hurt. I was… I was just makin' a point, you know? Like maybe you shouldn't make fun of someone's last name.

WESLEY
Charles, I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it.

GUNN
Yes you did. Yes you did, Wesley. Don't lie to me. I can always tell when you're lying.

WESLEY
I'm not lying, I sw—

ALEXA
Okay guys. You can shut up anytime now.

WESLEY
That was uncalled for!

GUNN
Yeah! Meanie.

ALEXA
It wasn't uncalled for. This argument started about Yankee Doodle. I'm not keen on spending my last seconds on this plain listening to you bicker about whose last name is stupider.

GUNN
You're right.

Alexa gives a sigh of relief. She thinks maybe she's getting through to them, until a second later when she realizes Gunn was talking to Wesley.

GUNN (cont'd)
Doodle is a pretty stupid name.

WESLEY
I know! Isn't it just?

The door opens of its own accord.

MARCIE
(sniggering)
Looks like your hero isn't coming for you after all. Maybe we'll send your heads to him and see if he finally reacts, then we'll see.

The door closes again.

ANYA
Oh God. Oh God. We're doomed. It didn't hit me until right now, but we're really going to die. All of us. This is it. It's actually the end. I'll never even see Xander again. My days as a liason are over. Oh God.

Alexa frowns intently. Something in her mind clicks.

ALEXA
It's all right, Ahn.

ANYA
(a beat)
Please don't be Xander anymore. Just don't.

ALEXA
…Sorry. Can't help it.
(a beat)
So… how long have you been a liason to the partners?

ANYA
Almost a year. The former boss never really needed me, so I didn't do too much until Angel showed up. Filed, mostly. Now I'm doing everything at once, I guess.

ALEXA
Hm. So you've never really been in mortal danger on this plain.

ANYA
Well, not until now, obviously.

ALEXA
Hm.

ANYA
What's with the questions?

ALEXA
Keeping you calm.

ANYA
They're coming in here to kill us soon. Shouldn't this be a time for panic?

ALEXA
Look around. No one else is panicking.

ANYA
Yes, but they're doped up and you're obviously emotionally stunted.

ALEXA
Excuse me?

ANYA
Well, you think this is fun, don't you? Clearly there's something the matter with you.

Alexa has had it. She's silent for a few seconds longer. She senses that Wesley and Gunn are hanging on their every word. Apparently they really hadn't realized what was going on until now. They weren't freaking out, fortunately, but they weren't happy anymore. They were scared. She figured now was as good a time as any.

ALEXA
So… what's a liason to the Partners like yourself doing in a place like this?

ANYA
What do you mean? Who are you being now?

ALEXA
Just me. I'm just wondering what a liason to the Senior Partners is doing tied up to a false pole in a basement.

ANYA
We got kidnapped, remember? Geez, maybe that anesthetic was just slow-acting on you.

ALEXA
But surely, as a liason, you realize that you can't die.

ANYA
(a beat)
What do you mean?

ALEXA
I mean that you will not die until the Senior Partners are ready for you to die. Your head might be crushed under a twenty ton weight, it wouldn't matter. Unless the Senior Partners had some reason for you to die, you'd bounce back in a couple of days or so. And hey, if I know this, you must know it, too.
(a beat)
So either you're a very, very good actress who can somehow impersonate panic, or you're not who you claim to be. And actually, when I think about it, that latter option doesn't seem terribly likely. "Maybe someone's making the pole exist by the sheer force of their will or something…" Seriously. I wonder why I didn't catch on right then.

Anya stands. Her hands are free. She walks over to Alexa and looks angrily at her.

ANYA
Okay, so you figured it out. Congratulations. I'm behind all this. Maybe it's a ploy to teach Angel a lesson. What does it matter? You're going to die anyway. You all are. And best of all, I got some information out of you. I knew you weren't human. I just couldn't figure out what you were. So now I know what you are, and how to kill you. Thanks for that.

Anya kicks Alexa in the face, then turns to the door and begins talking to it.

ANYA (cont'd)
The sun's up. What's keeping you?
(a beat)
Hello? I said, the sun's up.
(a beat)
Do I seriously have to do everything myself?

She storms up the stairs and opens the door… to find Angel standing right on the other side of it. He's not looking too happy.

ANGEL
Oh, sorry. Was I supposed to come in? Usually I don't bother without an invite, but…

He kicks Anya in the face and sends her reeling down the stairs.

ANGEL (cont'd)
…If you insist.

END OF ACT THREE