Lawndale 2021

SDCU-0001-AAAA

Daria and Beavis and Butthead are property of Glenn Eichler, Mike Judge, and MTV

Sealab 2021 is property of Williams Street Productions, LLC.


Daria looked over at Captain Murphy with scorn. Both of them were tied up in chairs on the bridge. "Why did you let them on board in the first place?" Daria asked him. "I, uh, well, at first they seemed nice, but it turns out they're, uh..." Murphy replied. Then, another Murphy, with an eye-patch and a scar running down his face, leaned in. "Bizarro!" he said loudly.


Opening Theme:

Excuse Me, Excuse Me…

I guess I'll have to be direct

If you're gonna' stand on my neck

Then you'd better check under the sea

Cause that is where you'll find me

Underneath the Sealab!

Underneath the water

Sealab!

At the bottom of the Sea!


Episode 007: It Is... Bizarro!


Date: Sunday, September 08, 2021

"So... um, could you, like, untie us, please?" Jane Lane asked the bizarre doppelgangers standing in front of her and the other members of the Sealab crew who had been unfortunate enough to be on the Bridge that day.

"No," Bizarro Murphy stated. "Now, once again, cretins, where is... the Destructo Beam?"

"We told you already; we don't have one of those!" Dr. Quinn said. Jane looked over at him and the others who were tied up, including Daria, Captain Murphy, Sparks, Marco, Commander DeMartino, Commander Li, Debbie Dupree, Stormy, Amy Barksdale (there were ten other women named Amy on the station), and Quinn Morgendorffer. There were also the same number of Bizarro's as well.

A dark blue-haired Daria stepped forward, with a green-lens thing over her left eye. "If you will not talk willingly... then I shall force you to speak," Bizarro Daria said with normal emotion. It wasn't normal emotion for Daria, but the normal way of speaking for a normal person... with a hint of intimidation on their voice.

"Oh, just give them the damn beam," Murphy said to Quinn. "We don't have one!" he said once more, becoming quite sick of the current situation. Bizarro Sparks, who was just a head and neck with cybernetic implants in a hovering glass jar with nutrients and a voice projector, flew over and looked at him.

"You know, he might be telling the truth," Bizarro Sparks said in a thoughtful tone as he turned to face Bizarro Daria. "Hmm, perhaps, but we must be absolutely certain before we let them go," Bizarro Daria said in slight agreement. Jane frowned.

"Listen, the Destructo Beam is the most powerful destructive weapon ever wrought by man!" Bizarro Murphy declared. "It has the destructive power to vaporize the entire Earth into... vapor," he finished, putting emphasis on the last word.

"Why would we blow up the Earth... where we are... right now?" Sparks asked them. Bizarro Murphy stepped forward. "Because it is... bizarro!" Bizarro Murphy stated, as though that somehow made perfect sense. "It's stupid," Sparks retorted.

"Bizarro!" Bizarro Murphy shouted again. "It's stupid!" Sparks shouted back, before Bizarro Murphy punched him in the face and pushed his chair over. "Jodene!" Amy exclaimed. Daria raised an eye brow slightly. "Ouch," Sparks muttered in pain. Bizarro Jane snickered at his pain.

"Let me go you cowards! Untie me! I'll take you all on myself!" Marco shouted. "You really think so?" Bizarro Jane asked him. Bizarro Jane had black and yellow striped hair, and a visor over her eyes, much like the one worn by Giordi from Stark Trek: The Next Generation. She also had a robotic left arm and hand.

Bizarro Marco and Bizarro DeMartino stepped forward. Bizarro Marco had a completely metallic mouth and lower jaw. Bizarro DeMartino looked normal, except for his purple hair, until he opened his mouth, revealing a set of razor sharp metal dentures. "I JUST wanna have FU~UN!" he sang.

"Oh god, is he going to annoy us to death with his singing?" Quinn Morgendorffer asked, forgetting about the razor-sharp dentures for a few seconds. "Be silent," Bizarro Daria said as she stepped over to look Quinn in the face. Quinn gulped as Bizarro Daria smiled a large, toothy smile, one that seemed almost unnatural.*

"That is why I don't show my teeth while smiling," Daria commented. "Hey, we are trying to intimidate you!" Bizarro Marco shouted as he took a magic-8 ball out of his pocket. "Um, what do you plan to do with that?" Jane asked him. Bizarro Marco held the ball up to his mouth... and took a bite out of it. He chewed before swallowing.

"What-what's that supposed to mean?" Marco asked, trying not to let his fear show. "Are you freaking out?" Bizarro Marco asked him. "N-No, I'm just pissed off!" Marco retorted angrily. "So, you see now how hopelessly outclassed you are?" Bizarro Murphy asked them. "Hey, I don't really see a Bizarro version of Dr. Quinn here, or one of me," Amy Barksdale said.

"Oh, they're here. We just have Bizarro Amy bringing Bizarro Quinn here with the proper transportation," Bizarro Quinn Morgendorffer said. She voice was much lower in pitch than regular Quinn Morgendorffer, and she had jet black hair, which was arranged as a Mohawk. She had a green lens over her right eye as well.

"I am Bizarro Stormy," said Bizarro Stormy. "I'm regular Stormy," said Stormy. Ice cubes fell out of Bizarro Stormy's mouth every time he spoke. He also had light blue hair. "Now, once again, give us... the Destructo Beam!" Bizarro Murphy demanded. "We already told you; we don't have one of those!" Quentin shouted.

"Just give them the damn beam!" Murphy said. "I just told them and everyone else that we don't have one! How is that so difficult to understand!?" Quentin screamed in frustration. "Hmm," said Bizarro Daria. "My Intelligence Scanner shows that he has an intelligence level of almost nine thousand. He may be smart enough... to lie to us!"

"My Intelligence Scanner shows that the one called DeMartino has an intelligence level of seven thousand and five hundred," Bizarro Female Quinn said. Bizarro Amy finally entered the bridge, pushing a large egg in a small wagon. "Bizarro Mother!" Bizarro Daria exclaimed happily. "Bizarro Aunt!" Bizarro Quinn shouted. Another Bizarro appeared behind Bizarro Amy.

Daria's eyes widened in recognition of the face. It was a face that she'd hoped to never see again after leaving Highland. "Bizarro Brother!" Bizarro Daria said to Bizarro Butthead, causing Daria's brain to temporarily shut down to protect itself. "Hey," Bizarro Butthead said. Bizarro Butthead had the same dark blue hair as Bizarro Daria, and a red lens over one eye, along with a robotic right leg.

"Where is... Bizarro Beavis?" Bizarro Daria asked him slowly. "He was eaten by a shark on the way here. It was cool," Bizarro Butthead said. "You mean, bizarro cool!" Bizarro Daria corrected him. Bizarro Jane chuckled.

"Did Bizarro Beavis have time to transform into Bizarro-holio?" Bizarro Jane asked Bizarro Butthead. "Yes, but that did not save him," Bizarro Butthead replied. "Bizarro Butthead, that sounded awesome," Bizarro Jane said as she snickered. Other people's pain brought her delight.

Quinn looked over at her sister and saw the look of disbelief and terror on her face. She understood, though. A universe where Butthead was their sibling; it was almost too much to bear. "And, for the record... the name is Buttholomew," Bizarro Buttholomew said, his voice sounding that same as regular Butthead, but which the usage of more intelligent words and concepts.

"Perhaps, if they do not wish to talk, we should use some form of persuasion," Bizarro Buttholomew suggested as he scratched his chin contemplatively. "Oh, dear god, this one knows how to think!" Daria spat out in mix of amazement and fear. "Um, could you, like, shut up," Bizarro Buttholomew said. While his intelligence was higher than regular Butthead, his manners were about the same.

"Who here knows the whereabouts of the Destructo Beam?" Buttholomew asked. "We do not have one of those!" Quentin shouted. "I shall go retrieve the proper information-extraction equipment," Buttholomew said before he left the room. "I do hope that these subjects will be kept intact before I return," he said as he exited the room.

"No promises," Bizarro Jane said with a wicked smile as the door closed. She snickered again as she retrieved a marker from her pocket and began drawing on the walls.

"He-he used words with more than two syllables..." Daria said quietly. "He truly is a Bizarro," she heard her sister say quietly as well. "Um, does anyone want to help me up?" Sparks asked from the floor. Commander DeMartino looked down at him.

"Eh, you're probably better off down there anyway," DeMartino told him. "They might forget about you if they don't notice you," he added. "You should give us the Destructo Beam now, before he returns," Bizarro Li said. "Alright, alright, we'll give you the damn beam!" Murphy said. "Good idea," Quentin whispered. "You distract them while I think of a plan."

"You will think of nothing," Bizarro Murphy called out as he watched the giant egg wobble, "Once your mind is blown by the razor-sharp intellect of... Bizarro Quinn!"

"I thought I was Bizarro Quinn?" Bizarro Quinn asked. "I am Bizarro Stormy," said Bizarro Stormy. "I'm regular Stormy," said Stormy. "Shut up, idiots," Bizarro Debbie said to them. "I am Bizarro Idiot," said Bizarro Stormy. "I'm regular idiot... wait a minute," said Stormy. "This is a complete failure of security protocol," Commander Li whispered to herself as she observed the proceedings from her chair.

Quentin looked at the egg. "Wait, so my guy's an egg?" he asked, before the egg hatched and an abomination sprang forth. "How is that gonna-oh sweet god!" Quentin exclaimed.

Bizarro Quentin had a somewhat pear-shaped body, with flippers for feet, and hands that seemed more like deformed flippers than anything else. He had a beak for a mouth, his skin was white, and his afro was orange. Somehow, he was born with a full Bizarro Sealab uniform already on his person, though.

"Bizarro!" Bizarro Quentin exclaimed happily. "Holy crap!" Stormy said. "Keep THAT THING away FROM ME!" DeMartino exclaimed. Bizarro Quentin continued saying "Bizarro!" as he hopped around the room. "Please let this just be a nightmare," Quinn whispered to herself as she watched the deformed creature hop around the room.

"Now," Bizarro Murphy demanded, "Where are the diamonds?" Everyone looked at him blankly, except Bizarro Quentin. Even Bizarro Daria was scratching her chin in confusion at Bizarro Murphy's request. "Um... diamonds? I thought you wanted a laser beam," Commander Li said.

"Now, we want both," Bizarro Murphy said. "And to show you just how serious we are..." Bizarro Murphy turned his head to look at Bizarro Stormy. "Bizarro Stormy?"

"I am Bizarro Stormy," said Bizarro Stormy. "I'm regular Stormy," said Stormy. "Show them just how serious we are," Bizarro Murphy said as he handed Bizarro Stormy a laser gun. Bizarro Stormy aimed it at himself and pulled the trigger, blowing up his head.

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Amy. Bizarro Stormy continued standing up, despite the loss of his head. "Jesus!" exclaimed Debbie. "What the hell!?" cried Marco. "Holy crap!" Murphy exclaimed. "Why is this happening!?" begged Quinn. "Now, do you see how serious we are?" Bizarro Amy asked them. Bizarro Jane looked over at Bizarro Stormy and began laughing.

Daria closed her eyes and took deep breaths to calm herself. Beside her, Dr. Quinn just shook his head in disbelief at what had happened. "This is insanity," he muttered. "No, this is Hell," Daria corrected him. "Well, either that or Purgatory, I haven't decided which just yet," she added. "What did I miss?" Sparks asked from the floor.

"Bizarro Stormy killed himself by accident," Daria explained. "Somehow, I'm really not surprised," Sparks responded. "Shut up, you," Bizarro Daria said as she walked over and kicked Sparks. "Ow!" he yelped as she kicked him repeatedly. Bizarro Jane could be heard laughing again.

Bizarro Quentin hopped over to the tied up crew and jumped onto Captain Murphy's lap, flapping his arms. "Bizarro!" he cried happily. "Okay," Murphy said, taking everything in stride.

"And there's plenty more where that came from!" Bizarro Murphy said proudly. "I bet there is," Daria said flatly. Bizarro Daria walked over and slapped Daria. "Be quiet! Your insolence will only be tolerated for so long," she said with narrowed eyes and a dangerous tone in her voice.

"Now, who's feeling... talky?" Bizarro Murphy asked the crew. "Somebody give him the damn laser... diamond... beam thing," Murphy said. "We don't have-" Quentin said, pausing as Bizarro Quentin started hopping and squawking on Murphy's lap, "A laser beam!" Bizarro Debbie walked up behind him.

"My breasts are sensing that this one knows something," she said with a mischievous smile. "I already concluded that he was the smartest of the bunch earlier," Bizarro Daria said to her. "Yes, but you have not interrogated him properly in order to determine the full contents of his knowledge!" Bizarro Debbie pointed out. "Hmm, that is true..." Bizarro Daria said in a tone that was a mix between embarrassed and contemplative.

Bizarro Sparks flew over to Dr. Quinn and Bizarro Debbie. "Let's cut his entire body off!" Bizarro Sparks suggested. "That's stupid," Bizarro Quinn said. "I think you mean bizarro stupid," Bizarro Amy said.

"I will interrogate him... with my breasts!" Bizarro Debbie said as she grabbed Quentin's chair and dragged him away from the others over to a closet. "Yes, Bizarro Debbie! Take him away for interrogation, Bizarro style!" Bizarro Murphy said.

"You get your hands off him, you bitch!" Debbie shouted. "Don't talk, Quinn!" Marco shouted at him. "I don't know anything!" he said as the door slid shut. "Why does no one listen to reason around here?" Commander DeMartino asked himself quietly.

"If you would JUST TALK, then WE could LEAVE ALREADY!" Bizarro DeMartino told him. "But we DON'T KNOW anything! We don't HAVE ANY LASERS or DIAMONDS!" DeMartino exclaimed.

"If you will not talk willingly, then perhaps his screams of torture will convince you otherwise," Bizarro Li said with a maniacal grin. "We're doomed," Quinn wept.

"They'd better not smudge the drawings I made on those walls," Bizarro Jane said with a frown. "I'd hate to have to redraw them."

"What are you gonna' do to him!?" Debbie asked them. "Don't you worry about tha-hey!" Bizarro Sparks said as Bizarro Quentin grabbed him. "Let go of me! Be careful with my head jar you ass!" Bizarro Sparks exclaimed.

"It is bizarro!" Bizarro Murphy declared as he watched Bizarro Quentin drop Bizarro Sparks onto the floor, smashing open his jar. "We're friends!" Bizarro Quentin declared as he flapped his hands in the air.

"Aack! I can't... bizarro breathe! I-I can't..." Bizarro Sparks rasped out. Bizarro Quentin started jumping on Bizarro Sparks' head. "Bizarro! Bizarro!" he shouted. "Help, help!" Bizarro Sparks tried to scream. Bizarro Jane began to snicker as she watched.

Commander DeMartino leaned over to Captain Murphy. "Come on," he whispered, "Now is our chance to escape." "Uuh, I'm too freaked out," Murphy said uneasily.

Bizarro Murphy walked over to him. "Don't you mean... bizarroed?" he asked Captain Murphy before he started laughing. Captain Murphy soon joined him. "Aha-ha-ha-ha!" he laughed with his bizarro counterpart. Marco, DeMartino and Daria all watched their captain with frowns of disappointment and trepidation on their faces.

Meanwhile, Bizarro Quentin had grabbed a box of salt and had begun pouring it onto Bizarro Sparks's head. "Bizarro! Bizarro! I'm helping! I'm helping! I'm helping you!" Bizarro Quentin said as Bizarro Sparks finally died after being covered with salt.

Just then, Bizarro Buttholomew returned with some torture devices in his hands. "What has become of Bizarro Sparks?" he asked. "Bizarro Quentin over there killed him," Amy said tiredly. This whole situation was getting to her.

"Hmm, I always thought that he would be... where is Bizarro Stormy?" Buttholomew asked as he looked around. "He's right over there," Stormy said. Buttholomew turned around to see the headless Bizarro Stormy sitting in a chair with a magazine open in his hands. "Cool," Bizarro Buttholomew said.

"This is an episode of Sick Sad World gone horribly, horribly wrong," Daria muttered to herself. Soon, the sounds of Bizarro Debbie's interrogation of Dr. Quinn in the closet began. "Aaah! Aaah!"

"Dr. Quinn's bizarro torture begins!" Bizarro Murphy stated. "You animals! What are you doing to him!?" Debbie cried. "Aaauooh yeah baby!" "Yes! Yes!" "Oh yeah!"

"That bitch!" Debbie hissed when realization dawned on her. "Good lord, she's killing him!" Murphy exclaimed, mistaking Quentin's moans and shouts for those of pain and agony. "That's one way of saying it," Daria commented flatly. It was usually times like these that her sarcastic attitude helped keep her from falling over the edge into madness.

"Yes! More, more! Bizarro more! Bizaaarrroooo!" Bizarro Debbie cried. "Yeah baby! Take it! The doctor... is in... the house!" Quentin yelled. "That bastard!" Debbie growled. Quinn felt sorry for her... and disgusted by the sounds.

"This is worse than when I walked in on Mom and Dad back when I was in middle school," Quinn muttered. "At least then I could run away." Daria heard her sister and nodded her head in silent agreement.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would rather be in the company of Brittany and Kevin right now," Commander DeMartino said, causing Daria to look at him in shock.

"You were right, Morgendorffer. We're in Hell," he said somberly. "It could be worse," Jane commented. "How?" DeMartino asked her. "Well, we could have bizarro versions of Kevin and Brittany in here with us," she said. "That WOULD be worse," DeMartino said in acknowledgement.

"Hmm," said Bizarro Amy as the shouts from the closet continued. "I do not hear any words that relate to the Destructo Beam. I shall join the interrogation to add extra incentive for him to talk," she stated as she walked over and entered the closet, closing the door quickly behind her.

"Whoa! Dr. Quinn has displayed an impressive ability to score with two targets at once, despite clearly not using any direct methods of pursuing them," Bizarro Buttholomew said in awe. "I shall learn his secret, after the interrogation, and apply this knowledge after returning home," he said.

"Round two begins now!" Bizarro Amy shouted. "Hell yeah it does!" Quentin shouted in agreement. "I'm going to kill him. I'm going to skin him alive," Debbie growled under her breath.

Bizarro Quentin hopped over onto Debbie's lap. "Bizarro! Bizarro!" he squawked happily as he looked at Debbie's face. "You want make him jealous? Get delicious bizarro revenge okay? Mmm!" Bizarro Quentin asked. "Eew! Get off me you freak!" Debbie spat at him.

"Yes! Bizarro more! More, Bizarro Debbie, more!" Bizarro Amy shouted. "Don't bizarro stop!" "At the same time! Right between our [bleep]!" Jane blanched as the shouts grew louder. "Cover our bizarro hedges with some [bleep]!"

"I will never be able to say those words to Tom again," Jane said sadly. Daria looked at her. "Sloane? You're going out with him?" "Well, it's more like a friends with benefits deal, but... yeah," Jane replied. "And you've... used those words with him?" Daria asked her. "A few times," Jane admitted.

"Girls, I really don't need to hear the two of you talk about this within earshot of me," DeMartino said with a frown on his face. "No, please, continue," Bizarro Buttholomew implored them. Both girls kept quiet after hearing his request. "Dammit," he muttered as he walked away from them.

"Revenge? Bizarro revenge? Yes, delicious!" Bizarro Quentin kept asking Debbie. "Get off of me, you disgusting little monster!" Debbie snapped at him. "Yeah! Likey, likey, likey, likey, likey!" Bizarro Quentin said. "No! Nonononono!" Debbie exclaimed repeatedly. "Just leave her alone!" Quinn shouted at Bizarro Quentin. "Mmm, me like two! Twice revenge? Twice bizarro revenge?" Bizarro Quentin suggested.

"Oh god no!" Quinn exclaimed. "Hell no! Fuck no, you little creep!" she kept shouting at him. "I'd rather kiss Upchuck than do anything with you!" Quinn shouted at Bizarro Quentin. "I can't believe I actually said that," she whispered to herself in shock and revulsion.

"That's it; resist his charms," Captain Murphy encouraged Quinn and Debbie as Bizarro Quentin bounced up and down on Debbie's lap. "Bizarro! Bizarro!" he exclaimed. "Why can't I wake up from this nightmare?" Quinn asked herself.

"Yes, yes! Bizarro yes!" Bizarro Amy and Bizarro Debbie both shouted. "Hey, hey, I know some stuff," Stormy said. "Interrogate me!" "Very well," Bizarro Marco said as he and Bizarro DeMartino walked over to him.

"Uh, I meant one of the females," Stormy said quietly. "Ow, watch my face!" Sparks cried out from the floor as Marco walked behind the chairs. He put his arm around Stormy's neck. "Who WANTS TO HAVE some FUN!?" Bizarro DeMartino asked him gleefully before cackling.

Bizarro Marco began to slowly twist Stormy's head. "Ow, ow, ooww!" he cried in pain. "DELIGHTFUL, is it NOT?" Bizarro DeMartino asked Stormy. "Aah! It hurts, man!" he cried as Bizarro Marco slowly twisted his head further. "Bizarro, Bizarro!" Bizarro Marco said. Bizarro Jane pointed and laughed at his pain.

"Bizarro!" Bizarro Murphy exclaimed. "Ladies and gentlemen, God is dead, and Satan has abandoned us," Amy said. "We are on our own." "Bizarro!" "Aah, help!" "Bizarro!" "Yes! Bizarro yes!" "Hahahaha!" "Bizarro revenge?" "Bizarro!"

Captain Murphy leaned over to Commander DeMartino. "I hate the Bizarro's," he whispered to him. Marco and DeMartino both nodded in agreement. Bizarro Murphy leaned forward at them. "Don't you mean, you hate The Bizarro's!?" he asked him.

"Bizarro revenge? Likey, likey!" Bizarro Quentin said before Debbie headbutted him, causing him to fall to the floor and onto his back. "Bizarro! Bizarro! Bizarro!" he said repeatedly as he squirmed and struggled to get up.

"Hey, he's like a little turtle!" Captain Murphy said with a giggle. "Don't you mean a bizarro turtle?" Bizarro Murphy asked him. "Eh, sure," Murphy replied. "That's it! I've had it with this!" Marco exclaimed. "You people are idiots!"

"Bizarro! Bizarro!" Bizarro Quentin cried from the floor. "Welcome to my world," Sparks said from his spot on the floor. "You people are the dumbest villains I have ever seen!" Marco spat. Bizarro Daria's eyes narrowed at him.

"We don't have any lasers! And we don't have any diamonds!" Marco exclaimed angrily as he glared at the Bizarro's around him, right before Bizarro Daria walked up and punched him in the face. "Yeah, and the only thing that you people are good at is yelling "Bizarro!" at the slightest provocation! I don't know how you morons even managed to get in here in the first place!" Commander Li yelled.

Bizarro Angela Li produced at laser pistol from inside her suit and fired at Angela Li, blowing off her head. "That will be enough out of you," Bizarro Li said before she holstered her gun. She accidentally kept her finger on the trigger, and when she tried to pull her hand out, she fired at herself by accident, cutting her leg off.

"It's just a flesh wound," she muttered as she lay on the floor. Bizarro Jane walked over and started drawing on Bizarro Li's severed leg before moving on to drawing on Bizarro Li's face. She chuckled as she went about her work.

"Bizarro! Bizarro! Bizaaarrrooooooo!" Bizarro Amy and Bizarro Debbie both shouted together. "And you two are whores!" Debbie spat. "We know! Oh, we knooww!" Bizarro Debbie shouted in ecstasy. "Yes, yes, yes! Oh, yes! One more, one more time, yes! YES! Aaaaaaaahhhhh!" Bizarro Amy shouted alongside Bizarro Debbie one last time before closet became quiet.

"Bizarro! Bizarro! Bizarro!" Bizarro Quentin squawked happily as he finally got off his back and hopped onto Captain Murphy's lap. "Aw, this little guy!" Murphy said with a smile on his face. "Bizarro! Bizarro!" "You know, if I had a peanut, I'd give it to ya'," Murphy said to Bizarro Quentin.

"Bizarro, I love you! Bizarro, I love you!" Bizarro Quentin squawked happily. "Hey, who's got a peanut for Turtle Face?" Murphy asked. "Don't, he's alergic!" Bizarro Murphy stated in a tone of warning.

"They'll kill me!" Bizarro Quentin squawked. "I think I have some peanuts in my pockets," Quinn said. "Bizarro!" Bizarro Quentin squawked.

Soon, the closet door opened and Bizarro Amy and Bizarro Debbie slowly walked out on unsteady legs, each one standing on one side of Dr. Quinn, who was wearing a dark red bath robe and had a pipe in his mouth.

"We tried everything, but we could not get him to talk," Bizarro Debbie said breathlessly, clearly exhausted. "Yes, we tried every method we could think of," Bizarro Amy said, equally exhausted. "At least they've stopped," Jane said quietly.

"Way to go, Quinn," Murphy said. "Huh?" Quinn asked. "Not you; the doctor," Marco said. "Oh," Quinn said in realization.

"Did you try [bleep]ing him in the [bleep]?" Bizarro Murphy asked them. "Yes," Bizarro Debbie replied. "Twice," Quentin added, holding up two fingers. "We both did," Bizarro Amy added with a smile. Quinn, Jane, and Daria all looked pale as they listened.

"Hmm, that usually works," Bizarro Murphy said contemplatively.

"Way to go, Quinn," Murphy said again. "I did-(yawn)-I did what I could," Quentin said tiredly. "You're a bastard!" Debbie said angrily.

"Enough!" Bizarro Murphy exclaimed. "It is now clear to me that this calls for stronger methods of... persuasion!" "I have already retrieved the necessary tools," Buttholomew said proudly. "Good! We can save time," Bizarro Murphy said.

"Um, don't you mean bizarro persuasion?" Marco asked him. "Yeah," Amy chimed in, "Make it really bizaarrooo!" DeMartino just shook his head as he tried to ignore the madness around him.

"Silence!" Bizarro Daria demanded in an icy tone. "Yes, silence!" Bizarro Murphy chimed in. "We shall now ply your minds with... Bizarro Vision!" Bizarro Murphy declared as Buttholomew inserted a flash drive into one of the computer consoles.

"Behold and be helpless against it!" Bizarro Quinn exclaimed. "Wait, there was something I wanted to do," Buttholomew said to himself. "What was it?" "Buttholomew, is it ready?" Bizarro Daria asked him. "Huh? Oh, yeah, it's ready," he replied, propping up a screen for the projector to use.

"I hate them all except Turtle Face," Captain Murphy said. "Bizarro, I love you! Bizarro, I love you!" Bizarro Quentin chirped happily. "Shh," Murphy said after the lights in the room dimmed. "The movie's about to start," he added.

An unending hypnotic cycle of blue and green and black rings were shown, increasing in size as they grew and moved out towards the edge of the screen. "Bizarro. Bizarro. Bizarro. Bizarro. Bizarro," the voice of the video said continuously.

"This movie sucks," Murphy whispered. "Hey, Captain, look," Marco said. All of the Bizarro's had fallen into a trance. "Bizarro," they each said in tune with the voice.

Daria looked over at Dr. Quinn, and then back at the Bizarro's, and then back to Dr. Quinn. "Dr. Quinn," she whispered. Quentin moved his hands in front of Bizarro Amy and Bizarro Debbie's faces, noticing that they were completely hypnotized by the video.

He smirked and flipped on the light switch, ending the video. "Dammit, untie us first!" Daria snapped at him. He ignored her. "Okay, listen up! Bizarro people. Party's over. You gotta go," Quentin said. The Bizarro's all began filing into the closet door from which the originally emerged.

"What's going on?" Quinn asked. "Bizarro Vision," Quentin replied as he watched the Bizarro's enter the closet. "They're hypnotized, kid." "Yeah, well, you're a bastard," Debbie said to him.

"Come on, untie us," Daria begged him as the Bizarro's entered the closet. Quentin began untying Daria's ropes as Bizarro Daria entered the closet and closed the doors. He had just finished when the closet door opened again, revealing the Bizarro's staring out at them.

"Hey," Murphy said, "They're still hypnotized! Turtle Face, you're a chicken!" Bizarro Quentin began hopping up and down saying, "Bok, bok, bok, bok, bok! I laid eggs for you! Bok, bok-bok, bok!" Murphy laughed at him. "All right, get out," he said as the closet door slid shut again.

Daria began untying Sparks while Quentin began untying Jane, just as the door slid open again. "Greetings, fools! Give us the Destructo Beam or suffer the bizarro consequences!" Bizarro Murphy demanded.

"Um, we already gave it to you," Daria said flatly. "Really?" Bizarro Daria asked. "Yes, you stupid bitch," Daria replied flatly again. "Oh. Okay," Bizarro Daria replied. "Yeah," Quentin added, "It's, uh, it's in your truck."

"To the truck!" Bizarro Murphy said as the door closed, slamming on Bizarro Daria's face. "Ouch!" she cried before the door slid back to let her retreat. The door stayed closed for a few seconds before opening again.

"Bok, bok, bok-bok!" Bizarro Quentin bokked after several seconds of silence. The door closed again.

"How long until-" Jane was interrupted as the door opened again.

"Seriously, how do we get out of here!?" Bizarro Murphy demanded. Everyone began shouting at the Bizarro's. "Press Two! The button that says two; press it!" Quentin snapped at them. "Thank you," Bizarro Murphy said as he pressed the button and the door closed.

Line Break

Later, after everyone had been untied and had stretched their limbs...

"Man," said Marco, "I'm glad that's over!"

"Those guys were complete idiots," Jane said. "Well, except for your counterpart."

"Don't remind me," Daria said as she put an ice-pack on her cheek.

"You're still a bastard," Debbie said to Quentin.

Daria and Jane heard snickering and turned around to look at Captain Murphy near a window. "He-ha!" he laughed.

"What's so funny, Captain?" Amy asked him.

"When they were hypnotized! Ha, I-I slipped Turtle Face... a bag of peanuts! Ha-ha!"

Quinn smirked as she listened to Murphy laughing.

Ending Line Break

Ending Theme: The Tower That Ate People, by Peter Gabriel.

*See Daria's smile in the Daria pilot episode.