Disclaimer: I don't own the show or any of its characters.
Title: Love is a Funny thing
Pairings: Cara/Kahlan
Summary: Read and find out.
Author's Note: This is my first LOTS fanfiction, so if it sucks, I apologize
Chapter Seven: Changes
~Cara's POV
I don't remember when I blacked out. Losing myself in Kahlan let me block out everything that was happening to me, thinking about her is something that helps me many time, and it allows me to forget everything. They might think I'm weak now that I've lost a part of myself being with her, being in her presence, but I know they're wrong. In Kahlan I find strength, a strength that is better than anything the Mord'Sith ever taught me. They taught me a different kind of strength, but Kahlan, she taught me the strength in love and allowing yourself to love. And that feeling, that the Mord'Sith tried to drive out of me, powers me greater than any other emotion.
So when I opened my eyes and saw that Kahlan was no longer hanging in front of me, this feeling of rage was surging through me and I tried to get Richard's attention. His body is bruised and blood and his head is hanging, I don't know how long he's been out, but it must have been awhile because all his blood is dried up. "Seeker!" I yell swinging myself. I can hear the chains as they cling together. My fingers grip around them and I try to pull myself up, trying everything I can to get loose from these, but I as well as anyone should know that there is no getting out, not until you're let down. "Richard!" I say louder and this time his head rolls before he looks up at me and instantly his eyes move to where Kahlan should be and they widened. "What happened?" I ask him drawing his attention back to where I am. "Where's Kahlan?"
"She broke," he said his voice cracking. Looking at me I can see the tears wanting to break from his eyes but he was doing everything he could to keep them from falling. "The broke her, Kahlan, how," he trails off looking off into the distance. "The things they did to her," he pauses looking at me, shamefully I look away. "You used to do those things, you used to break people like that," his voice has a hint of anger in it. I was never ashamed when people would fall me a monster, but when it comes from Richard, who believed in me and knew I could changed, it hurts. "You are a monster," he says finally.
I look at him but he isn't looking at me. I knew he still loved Kahlan and I knew that deep down he still thought he had a chance to be with her, but I never thought he would break. Richard, no matter how hurt he was, would never call me a monster not after everything we have been through, not after he saved me. That's how I know he's one that broke, not Kahlan. I just wish I knew where she went, I can't ask him, he's useless now, he will do anything Denna tells him to do.
Speaking of Denna, I killed her. I put an arrow through her heart, she should be at the bottom of a cliff decaying somewhere. Yet, she's here. Did she make a deal with Darken Rahl? To become a baneling? But if she did that wouldn't she be trying to kill me instead of torturing me and trying to get Kahlan to kill me? "Mistress Cara," turning I see Denna walking towards me with a smirk on her lips, what I wouldn't give to be able to run her through with a sword and whip that smirk from her face. "Why so serious?" She asks running her fingers along my back. I hold in the wince as she scratches the cuts made by the whip.
"I'm so going to kill you," I grumble out as she steps in front of me. "Where's the Mother Confessor?" I ask using the name people know her by, I refuse to give into Denna, and calling Kahlan by her name would do just that. It would give her an opening, an opening that would destroy me.
"Didn't the Seeker tell you?" She asks looking back towards Richard. "She broke," then she looks back at me. "Like a twig." She moves closer to me, so close that I can feel her breath on my skin, and it is making my skin crawl. "I have something for you," she says, her lips are inches from mine, I want to spit in her mouth but I don't, not when I see who is walking closer to me. "You like?" she asks but she isn't talking to me.
"Yes, Mistress Denna," Kahlan is standing in front of me in full on Mord'Sith leather, with an agiel in hand. "I like," she says as she jabs the agiel to me and my eyes go wide with horror.
…
Her fingers ran across my skin in such a way that goosebumps would be seen in their wake. I never knew there was a touch like this, so soft and loving, so gentle and soft. Yet somehow I knew that being with Kahlan like this is would be no different. I knew deep down that this moment would be just like this, gentle and loving. It was everything Kahlan is. "Trust me," she whispers in my ear as she hovers above me.
Leaning down her lips brush across mine and my eyes flutter closed at the softness of this moment. "I do." I whimper out as she presses her lips to mine in a kiss that displays all of the emotions that feels for me. Hate for killing her sister, anger for the fight we had in front of her people, and love for being exactly who I am. That's why I love being with her, she doesn't try to change me from who I am. She always accepted that I was Mord'Sith and she knew there wasn't anything she could do. So her hate for me the Mord'Sith soon turned to love…for me…the Mord'Sith. "With everything," I say when she pulls away. Her blues look into mine. "I love you Kahlan," I say.
Her eyes widen. It is the first time I've said it, and she stunned, I would be too, so before this moment has a chance to be ruined I grab the back of her neck and bring her lips to mine once again.
…
"I love you Kahlan," I say when she pulls the agiel away from my skin. I don't care who hears me now. I don't care if I just gave Denna the opening she needs to break me, I don't care. All I care about in this moment is that I look into Kahlan's eyes and say the words that I feel. "I trust you," I say when she applies the agiel to my skin again. I close my eyes and let the pain from the agiel run through my body. "With everything that I am, I trust you, with my life," I say looking into her deep blue eyes.
"You don't know what love is," she says as she drags the agiel across my skin, leaving a broken blood vessel trail that will fade in a few seconds. "You never loved me," she says stepping closer to me, so close that our nose are touching. "And I never loved you." She says and I blink away the tears that want to come. I can't show them that this affecting me, I won't. "How could I love someone like you? You're a monster, you made my sister drown her son before you killed her and her husband," she explains stepping away from me with nothing but anger in her eyes. "How could I ever love you after what you did," she says and then she jabs the agiel right where my heart is and twist. My eyes widen with shock and horror. "Cara," I hear her say, the shock evident in her voice at what she had just done. "Cara, no," is the last thing I hear her say before I breath my last breathe.
…
Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one thing I loved
The one thing I tried to hold on to
"Cara I didn't expect to see you so soon," he says as he comes closer to me.
"Do your worse, I don't care," I say standing with my back to him.
"You think she was telling the truth?" He asks looking at me curiously. I turn around about to asking him how he knows, but then I remember he knows everything, even when he was alive he knew everything, it was annoying. "They were lies," he says scrunching his eyebrows.
"It doesn't matter," I say. "What's done is done, go away," I say turning away.
"I've thought about your offer," he says. This causes me to turn around. "Ah now I got your attention," he smirk.
"Get on with it," I say crossing my arms across my naked chest.
"Just so that I am clear," he pauses clasping his hands together. "You are offering your child, for her soul?" He asks.
"Yes." I say without hesitation. "My child, will be your welcoming," I say. "With her soul, you'll have your returned to your body," I explain.
"And how are you going to do this?" He asks.
"Well if I reveal all my secrets then what would the fun be?" I ask smirking. "You take Denna's soul back, and I give you life," I finish. "Deal or no deal, I don't have all eternity," I say smirking. This time he doesn't say anything, which in itself is creepy because it's so unlike him. He just smiles and the snaps his fingers.
…
I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes until you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I blinded by the light
I gulp in the hair as I open my eyes looking into Kahlan watery blue ones. I gasp trying to get as much oxygen as possible. She is going to hate me for what I have done, and what I have sacrificed, but there wasn't anything else I could have done. We were going to lose ourselves here and then what life would our child have? She wouldn't want her to grow up like I grew up and I don't want that. I used the only piece I had left. Kahlan's hands hold my face as my full consciousness comes back to me and I take in the scene around me, and the ache that is no longer in my arms. "I'm so sorry Cara, I don't know what came over me," she says as she leans in and kisses me rough-fully. I can taste the salt on my lips from her tears.
"What's going on here?" I ask looking up and noticing that Denna and Richard are gone from the room and I am no longer hanging from the ceiling.
"Mist…Denna," she says correcting herself. "Took Richard to her private chambers," she explains. "Please Cara what can I do?" She asks searching my eyes.
"Nothing," I say standing up. I look down at where she is still kneeling on the floor. There is nothing I can ask from her, not now, not after what I've just taken from her without even talking to her about it. She will hate me soon enough. "Well," I say looking down at my still naked form. "Clothes?" I ask with a smile, a smile that is saved only for Kahlan.
…
We had been walking the halls of the Mord'Sith Temple, on our way to Denna's room, Kahlan back in her white and me in my red. I was trying to remember exactly where her private chambers where and just when I was about to give up and start breaking down all the doors, I heard it, a scream. Kahlan and I broke out into a run and slammed through the door at the end of the hall. That's when we saw Richard pulling on his pants staring in horror as Denna was engulfed in flames. The timing of Darken Rahl never surprises me. "What did you do?" She yells towards me, but I say nothing. Richard looks at me in horror, I'm sure he'll be thanking me later. And just as she was there, she is gone.
"What was that?" Kahlan asks turning to me. "I didn't think that was possible," she comments still looking at me. I can't turn to look at her, I know with one glance I will tell her everything, and I'm just not ready to tell her, to tell how I messed up. I'm not ready to lose her yet. "Cara?" She asks when I don't answer.
"I don't know," I say simply. "We have to get out of here," I say grabbing her hand and running down the hallway, It will only be a matter of time before the others know about Denna's death and they'll want revenge, or maybe not. I mean Denna wasn't that well liked anyways.
"Will they still be after us?" She asks.
"No," I say keeping my eyes forward.
"No?"
"No," I pause, looking at her. "Technically, you killed me, which is what had to be done, it wasn't your fault I didn't stay dead," I explain and I watch as hurt flashes across her face. "Listen," I say cupping her face. "You weren't yourself, it's okay," I explain. "It all worked out." I say walking again. I notice Richard coming up behind us.
"If I'm Lord Rahl shouldn't the Mord'Sith obey me," he asks and I nod. "Then why was Denna able to control them all?" He asks.
"It was something Darken Rahl gave her," I explain. "She made a deal, so she was able to deny the Lord Rahl bond," I explain further.
"What kind of deal?" Kahlan asks.
"Me," I stop. Well more like Kahlan forces me to stop. "What?" I ask snapping at her. "I know you want to talk about this but now is not the time Mother Confessor!" I shout. "We need to leave, there are more pressing measures ahead," I say more calmly squeezing her hand.
I don't say anything further but I know there is more she wants to say, but she doesn't. I want to kiss her, hard, and let her know that everything is going to be okay. But it won't, I know it, and deep down I know she knows it too.
…
~Kahlan's POV
You whispered that you were getting tired
Got a look in your eye
Looks like goodbye
Hold on to your secrets tonight
Don't want to know I'm okay with this silence
It's the truth that I don't want to hear
She's laying with her back towards me. We had found a place to camp a few leagues from where the Mord'Sith Temple was, and Cara assured us that no one would find us here, which makes me wonder if she used this place to hide away, but then I remember who she is. Cara would never hide. From anyone. Yet right now, in this moment, it seems like she is hiding from me. That there is something she doesn't want to tell me. While we were traveling she wouldn't even look at me until I pushed her and she had no choice but to look at me, and when she did I wish she hadn't.
There was regret in her eyes.
But what would she be regretting? Being alive? Being with me? No, there is no way she'd regret that, not the Cara I know and love. Yet here she is, with her back to me, sleeping, well at least pretending to sleep. I'm not sure, I can never tell with her. "Stop staring at me Kahlan," she says, but my eyes don't turn away.
"What happened to you?" I ask as she turns around and looks at me, her expression emotionless. This Cara, the one looking at me now, reminds me of the one that we were traveling the midlands with, early-on. This is Cara before she changed and let herself feel things, and allowed herself to trust us. This is the Cara that I used to fear.
"Nothing happened to me," she says standing up and dusting the dirt off her leather. "I'm going to gather more firewood, it's your turn to rest," she says turning and walking into the darkness.
Yeah right, like I can rest with her like this.
You're hiding regret in your smile
There's a storm in your eyes I've seen coming for awhile
Hang on to the past tense tonight
Don't say a word
I'm okay with the quiet
The truth is gonna change everything
"There is something you're not telling me," I say as I approached her from behind. I place my hand on her back and she tenses up and instantly I pull it back and she doesn't even turn around to apologize or look at me. "You're upset with me?" I ask.
"No," she says simply.
"Yes." I say moving away from her.
She reaches out and grabs a hold of me before I have a chance to take another step. "Don't move," she says and just as I'm about to say something I hear a screeching sound in the distance. Her face is inches from mine; I can smell the mixture of sweat and leather, something that is uniquely Cara. She looks up and I can hear the Gar flying above us. Her fingers around my arm tighten but she still doesn't look at me.
"Cara?" I ask knowing the Gar has passed us by.
"Nothing's wrong Kahlan," she says, snapping.
"Cara…" I push.
"Oh Spirits!" She yells turning towards me, stepping right up to me. "Nothing is wrong Confessor!" She shouts. "Why don't you believe that everything is good and right in the world? Why does there always have to be something wrong?" She yells.
"I…I…" I stutter.
"What's wrong Confessor! Don't have anything to say? What a big shock, for once you're speechless!" she shouts throwing the firewood at my feet and leaving me alone in the woods.
So lie to me and tell me that its gonna be alright
So lie to me and tell me that we'll make it through the night
I don't mind if you wait before you tear me apart
Look me in the eye
And lie, lie, lie
When I get back to the campsite Richard is still sleep, the fire has all but died, and Cara and her horse, are gone.
…
~Cara's POV
Just one more moment, that's all that's needed
Like wounded soldiers in need of healing
Time to be honest, this time I'm pleading,
Please don't dwell on it, 'cause I didn't mean it
"Back so soon Mistress?" They all swarm around me as I enter the Temple. I know I'm the last person they expected to come walking through the door, and to be honest it's the last door I expected to be walking through. "What can we do for you," another one asks as she runs her finger along my collarbone and down in-between my breasts. "What's your pleasure?" Another one asks as she comes up behind me and wraps her arms around me.
"Not you," I say and they step back bowing their heads slightly.
…
Author's Note: There will be another update very soon. Lol. Feed me with your comments plzz!
Songs:
Goodbye to You: Michelle Branch
Lie: David Cook
I'd Come For You: Nickleback
