"I've decided," her voice was distinct in its decision. Her teacher eyed her with a strange look but accepted her response. The young woman's eyes were puffy and red but determined, a look she had gotten to see just now from Nodame. Regardless of why, it would no doubt be good for her to get out of Paris and away from whatever she wanted to escape.

"I'll go to Germany."

With a set look on her face, she turned around and walked with her head held high unto the podium for her first and last performance in France. She bowed, her dark green with black satin dress swishing prettily across the floor.

Her nimble fingers swept across the black and white keys, striking each with confidence. He was watching, she was sure. Whatever fight they might have had, he would always attend her concert and this was her first one in France. She realized as she played that Beethoven was his favorite piano composer and though she felt as if she might break down any minute, she tried her best to let him feel all the love she had stored inside for him. She was sure this would be the last time she would be able to do so. But Nodame was prepared by now. She could be tough; she had to be. This was the real world now. She had no one to protect her anymore but her own self.

Shinichi congratulated her afterwards, rewarding her with high praise on her techniques and her perfect playing.

"Not a single note missed," he acclaimed proudly.

The day after her performance, everyone spoke all about her technique, the beautiful unearthly sounds that came from the piano, and the emotion she had played with. Her name was on everyone's lips, her feelings had touched everybody's, including his. The rage and frustration found its answer and release. She repeated to herself in every note that she'd be ok. She had talent, she would make it. She wouldn't let herself become her family's bad debt as her brother had once said. She would show all of them for once that Noda Megumi could stand on her own two feet and blow hem all out of the water. Most importantly, she would show herself that with or without him, she could become more than what she'd dream of.

Without him—the chord strung out—she would be alright.


"Are you ready, Shinichi?" Lebrecht asked. Shinichi nodded his head at him, passion in his eyes. He was geared up to go. Looking incredibly handsome in his suit and tie and hair spiked up the way he liked it, Shinichi looked every bit a conductor.

"Should I ask if you are dedicating your piece to someone?"

Shinichi thought about it for a moment and though his teacher was weird in many ways, he had a feeling he knew more than Shinichi thought.

"Why?" he answered instead and Lebrecht saw right through the question. The shield the young man held up was far too strong for him to be happy, just like Lebrecht had been once upon a time.

"No reason. I just hope Nodame knows that's all."

"Ah…" sighed Shinichi and the realization that he had been found out caught up to him too late. Lebrecht was already was by the door.

"I wish you the best, Shinichi. I wouldn't want you to end up like me," he shook his blonde head at the floor, sadly, gently, "Not at all."

Speechless, Shinichi could do nothing more than nod and watched his teacher's back as he walked out of the room.

The fierce lights from the hall blinded him slightly but he continued to make his way to the podium. His eyes traveled to seat 302, third row in the very center of the orchestra sittings, the very best seat in the house. Her hair was longer than before and slightly curled, perhaps she had done it for the occasion. He was sure that spot was showing just for him as well. She eyed him proudly, the previous fight forgotten for that moment. She smiled at him and he smiled back. He hoped she would understand what he was trying to convey. He had worked long and hard on this piece and at the end of the day, when she expressed her happiness at seeing him conduct and awarded him with some sort of strange price—well, that was all he really wanted. That's what he looked forward to.

He turned his back to her and picked up the baton.

Closing his eyes, he nodded more to himself than the orchestra and opened up the score to the first page.

From the first note to the last, he kept her in the back of his mind the entire time.


It was quite noisy backstage with loud praises on Bach's piece and even louder praises on Shinichi's conducting. He smiled and nodded nonchalantly at those who had come to congratulate him but his eyes were keen on the lookout for a specific person whom he found at the very back of the crowd. He excused himself from the multitude of people and made his way to her.

"Baka," he scolded her gently as he stood in front of her and wiped the tears that ran down her cheek with his long fingers. He seemed pleased nonetheless.

"I'm guessing it was that good?"

She nodded sadly, her hair tumbling down her shoulders. But even Shinichi, who was used to her tears after any performance of his, knew something was wrong with this sadness she exuded. He slipped his fingers under her chin and made her meet his eyes.

"Oi! What's wrong?"

Her eyes were now glossy but tearless. She bit down on her plump lower lip and looked away. Frustrated, he growled but his eyes caught the image of her Puri Gorota suitcase, fat and heavy by the doorway and frowned. Her teacher appeared on the doorway, holding the suitcase with one hand and a briefcase in the other. She made a sound of apology and entered the room.

"It's time, Noda."

His dark eyes looked down on her harshly.

"Time for what?"

"I've decided to go to Germany."

The words sunk in quickly enough but his mind refused to process it. Shinichi searched her brown eyes for something, anything to indicate this was a joke. Five minutes passed silently, as if the world had suddenly been muted by an unseen force. Five minutes…Shinichi could tell you this information many years from that day. Five minutes of long silence with the muffled sound of the audience gathering for the final performance. The hum of the air condition, the shuffling of feet, her sniffles--

"When was this?" he asked darkly, still holding her head up. Her eyes did not look away.

"A couple of days ago…"

"And you couldn't inform me?!"

"You were busy—" she looked down at her hands, "Besides, you said this was a good opportunity right?"

"Y—yeah," he muttered, grimacing at her words.

"And besides, I'm not really doing anything for you or myself in Paris so I might as well go to Germany," she faltered because she had looked away from him toward the small mirror on the back of the room. He could tell she was lying which made him far angrier than he had ever been. How was she not doing anything for him? Hadn't he told her she kept him sane!

"So you'll come back in two months, right?" he asked her through clenched teeth, the words tumbling out of his mouth seething with anger and part of him felt as if she didn't tell him what he wanted to hear, he would go insane and strangle her right there and then. But her expression told him enough.

"Maybe."

His heart sunk. It thumped so hard in his chest as if he had run a mile. His mouth went completely dry, so much that he could barely speak his next words.

"Why?" he whispered harshly, shaking her harshly against him, "Isn't it enough?"

She shook her head, the tears spilling once more.

"It hurts too much to continue being with you without…being with you."

"I told you I needed you right? What more do you want?"

The exasperation in his voice was all too evident. He really thought he was in the right. He knew he was in the right.

"So much more!" Nodame answered loudly, "I want you to love me in more ways than for my piano—I want you to love me the way a man loves a woman but I just can't seem to be that woman for you, can I?. I can't keep up with you now. You fell out of my sight a long time ago--but I promise I'll be better. I promise."

She stopped to breathe. She dared not look up to him, not when she had said so much…too much.

"Maybe then…you can see me for more than just a habit," she ended gently.

"Do what you need to do," Shinichi said disgustedly, finally letting her go. The shield was quickly forged back into place. The faraway look returned to his eyes. He had better things to do at the moment. His final performance was about to start. She frowned, the tears still fresh in her eyes.

"I'm staying to watch your final performance, though," she whispered.

"Don't," he said curtly, "Just leave."

Nodame stared at his back as he walked slowly out the room. She would have jumped in his arms in a heartbeat if he had opposed her idea. But no such thing happened and no amount of hoping changed the fact that Shinichi had completely left her behind.

The score lay silently, regretfully by his dresser and it would be last thing he'd receive from Nodame. At the moment though Shinichi was too hurt to care. He deliberately kept his eyes away from the audience, especially the balcony where she was sitting. His eyes concentrated on the score and though he tried as hard as he could, the music didn't quite reach his ears. His mind was ever present at the figure that rose from her seat and stared at him, silently saying her good bye. Briefly, the world paused for the two and his eyes traveled upward to see her retreating back as she disappeared from h is sight.

His eyes stung and the orchestra played on.


Lebrecht offered the cup to Shinichi who drank it gratefully. The performance had been a success in every way. The applause had shaken the hall to its foundation and he knew he had made a great first impression. He had already gotten high praises from very important conductors who had come see the fresh newcomer and all of them were more than pleased.

Yet…his eyes had never stopped from looking for her above everyone's heads.

"To forget and to remember," Lebrecht said happily, his cheeks tinted red and he almost looked like a German version of Santa Claus. The soft piano music at the bar caught Shinichi's attention.

'Sloppy playing,' he thought instantly.

Shinichi's eyes glossed over as he clinked his glass against his teachers and slurred the words over and over.

"To forget and remember."


The End...

Or is it?

lol, it isn't.