The rating of this story has gone up to M. :)
They settled into a routine, before either of them were aware of what they were doing. In the mornings, Harry would get updated by Erin, and spend about an hour on the phone, making sure things were running smoothly. Ruth would call the Home Office and get a few files delivered over for her to read and sign (which felt slightly strange to her, as for so long it had been she who had delivered files for signing to Harry). In the afternoons both she and Harry would spend time together, to go out and do nice normal things. Walk along the embankment in the sunshine while they talked of nothing which involved terror or MI5. They spent one afternoon at Kew gardens, which had been very enjoyable. It felt so wonderful to get to know each other away from the constant threat and adrenaline of Thames house. It felt novel and incredibly normal.
At night, they usually slept at Ruth's, having both discovered that they slept very poorly alone. But nothing further had happened between them, more than a few kisses and cuddles. Ruth wanted more, but whenever their embraces went on for too long, Harry would pull back or turn away from her, which was beginning to hurt her.
Ruth stared out of her bedroom window, thinking about him and the lack of physicality between the two of them. It was late at night, and the rain was hammering against the window, turning the street lights into orange blurs as she watched absently.
"Ruth?" She turned to see Harry looking at her, a frown on his face. "Are you okay?"
"Yes," she said, forcing a smile on her face. Then she changed her mind and decided to be honest with him. "No."
"What is it?" he asked, walking closer to her. He wore a loose shirt, a few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up, and looked very, very good. She'd always loved how he looked when he took his tie off.
"I'm wondering if… I repulse you," she said, looking down at the floor.
"Why would you ever think that?" he asked softly, tilting her chin upwards so she'd look at him.
"You always pull away from me," she said. "When we're... intimate, you always stop it. I just… want to know why. I'd rather you be honest with me."
"Ruth, it's not that I'm not attracted to you," he said, his voice taking on a low seductive tone, which she knew he was doing on purpose.
"You might like me and care for me," she said. "You might even love me, but you don't want me. You don't desire me."
"Oh my God, Ruth," he said under his breath. "You really have no idea about me, do you?" He stood close to her, too close for comfort and he cradled her face delicately. She couldn't look away from his hypnotising eyes, even had she wanted to. "I turn away from you so I don't either pin you to the nearest wall or go crazy. I stop kissing you because there comes a point where I either have to stop, or spend the rest of my life kissing your soft lips. It's not that I don't want you, it's the complete opposite. I want you so much, I don't trust myself to stop, were you to say no."
There was a silence after that declaration as they stared at each other. A silence she broke. "I'm not saying no, Harry." He looked into her beautiful blue eyes, full of emotion, and knew she was telling the truth. She wasn't going to say no, and she wanted him, maybe as much as he wanted her.
He kissed her deeply and she could feel the difference now. This was leading somewhere, and she could taste it. His hands slipped down her back slowly, pulling her hard against him. He reached the hem of her blouse and his fingers sneaked underneath, skimming over her spine. She shivered as his tongue stroked hers deliciously and he started very slowly unbuttoning her blouse. He stopped kissing her and looked into her eyes as each button slid free. She couldn't look away from his hazel eyes, burning with passion for her. His hands skimmed over her bare skin softly, making her wonder how his touch would feel everywhere else. He didn't look away from her face as she slipped her shirt off, only pausing for a moment as it slid past the bandage on her left forearm, still covering her burns.
He brushed her hair away from her face and his fingertips grazed the edge of her bandage on her cheek, a question in his eyes. "No."
"Ruth," he said softly. "I want to see you. All of you. Don't hide from me." He started to take it off and she put her hand up to her face to stop him. He looked at her sadly.
"I'll take it off, but you're hurting me a little," she said. "It pulls at my skin. Just… let me." He kept his hands around her waist, but otherwise didn't move or touch her in any other way. In a minute or two, she'd removed the dressing on her burn, and looked at him, her eyes wet with tears she wasn't letting fall. In all honesty, the burn was bad, but it wasn't as bad as he'd feared. Her skin was an angry red, blistered, but fading into pink, and she was right. It would scar, and it would never heal properly.
"Please tell me what you're thinking." He returned his gaze to her eyes and saw that she was very close to tears.
"I was wondering if I'd ever seen bluer, more beautiful eyes than yours," he whispered.
"Harry…"
"Ruth, it doesn't matter," he said, gently circling the edge of her injury. "It doesn't make you any less beautiful."
"I wish you weren't such a good liar right now," she said, smiling at him. "It would be so nice to believe you."
He stood back from her and took off his shirt quickly. "Do my scars effect how you see me?" he asked. She looked at him for a moment, her eyes following the lines on his body. She moved towards him, her fingers following the scars on his chest softly. He shivered at the sensations she caused and closed his eyes as he tried not to react. Then he jerked as he felt her lips close around his nipple, sucking gently. He felt his self control slipping as he reached for the fastening on her bra. "Take this off," he said, low and hoarse. She looked at him, eyes glowing as she did, dropping it to the floor as he gazed on her beautiful body. Every few moments his eyes went back to hers, before looking at her naked figure again. He kissed her deeply and passionately, groaning as he felt her fingers fumbling with his belt. He squeezed her breasts lightly and she sighed with pleasure.
It didn't take long until they both stood naked, kissing each other passionately. Their bodies were touching everywhere, and the freedom to be able to do that was exhilarating.
"Bed," Harry murmured against her lips, his breath whispering across her skin. She smiled in agreement, and hurriedly lay on the bed, smiling as he followed her, covering her body with his own. He sucked her bottom lip delicately as his hand sneaked down her skin, until he stroked between her legs, making her writhe against him. She let her head roll back as he touched her intimately. He watched her face carefully, until he found the rhythm she seemed to enjoy. She panted heavily, her eyes closed as she bucked against his fingers. He smiled, knowing he'd never ever forget this moment. He lowered himself, so he could taste her nipple gently, as she sighed with pleasure.
"Harry…" she breathed. "I'm… oh, God. Mm…Yes, oh there!"
"Look at me," he said, feeling her close to climax. She did, her eyes a deep blue, then she cried out as his fingers curled against her another time, thumb brushing against her clitoris. She took a while to come around again, smiling at him, a lazy happy smile which he returned. She touched his face softly, feeling the stubble against her fingertips in a wonderful rasp.
"Get on your back," she said, a quiet demand.
"Ruth…"
"Do it," she said, biting her lip but with mischief in her eyes. He didn't argue. Before he could ever breathe, she was stroking his erection, her touch everywhere and making it hard for him to hold onto his control. God, her touch was exquisite. Too soon it was gone and he watched as she straddled him, guiding herself onto him. He stroked her thighs, moaning as he felt her warmth surround him. She settled onto him, stilling for a moment to adjust. Finally, after so many years of longing and want, they were here. He couldn't quite believe it.
Then she started to move, setting a slow pace. He caressed her breasts, delighting in the feel of them, their soft fullness as she rolled her hips against him. He groaned at the pleasure shooting through him.
"Faster," he said in a harsh breath. "I'm not going to last long." She smiled at him, then moaned as he squeezed her nipple
She was moaning and panting his name, over and over, and it was all he could do to hold onto his control. A woman hadn't cried out his name in years. The brief liaisons he'd had, he'd always given them a false name. The thrill of hearing her cry out "Harry" was unbelievable.
He let go, fingers bruising her hips as he came. She followed, only a second or two behind him, calling out his name.
She collapsed onto his chest heavily and he grunted with surprise, before holding her gently, stroking her bare back. He was still inside her and he pulled away, parting them with small moans from them both.
"I'm happy," she said, slurring her words slightly. He kissed her lips softly and she was asleep within moments. He smiled and gently rolled her onto the mattress, off of him. He watched her sleep for a few minutes and then closed his eyes.
