AN: Hey. So much for updating more, hmm? X) I would've updated, but my boyfriend came down from Redmond on Sunday, so I tried to get as much time in with him as I could. This chapter gets a little angsty, as a warning.

"He hates me." - Jennifer Jareau

With no knowledge of the violence erupting at the small wedding party, Emily had driven quite the ways, taking no time in putting distance between her and the BAU. Even as she tried futilely to erase the rough evening from her mind with the soothing rhythm of the road and the passing trees, little thoughts kept popping into her mind, memories of what had happened to the team after she had left to protect them from Doyle. Memories of the long nights playing Scrabble with JJ, the blonde profiler telling her how rough the team was.

If anyone stuck out from the crowd of hurt faces, it was Penelope and Morgan. Oh, and poor Reid. From what she had heard, both Penelope and Reid had spent long nights weeping for her, and Reid even came close to restarting Dilaudid, the dangerous narcotic that almost took her 'little brother' from her once. Penelope had hidden herself more and more in her work and her lab, spending less time with team, afraid that every little thing woud trigger a memory of Emily that would send her back over the edge had hidden his emotions from most of the team as best he could, but upon her re-arrival, she had seen the anger and hurt flash across his face, the mixed emotions revealing how crushed his trust had been.

She had tried to deny that those emotions were her fault for a long time; even now, Emily was still trying to deny that her sudden absence wouldn't break hearts there in Quantico, but even with the love of her team, she still was lacking the love of the one that she needed the most. Even now, memories of his smile across the dance floor at Beth shook her to the core, memories of how he never made an effort to contact her in Paris, simply relaying basic messages on the status of the case through JJ.

Emily should've known then that there was no hope for their relationship, but she clung to the hope that she would be able to return to the same loving arms that she had in the past. Even with as long as she tried and tried to convince herself to let go, to brace for seeing Hotch with someone else, it still did nothing against finally seeing him with Beth on his arm.

At this point, there was no hope in trying to return to the BAU, or even Quantico. Every face would bring memories of Aaron, so Emily made no point in trying to believe that she would ever return. Instead, she did as every strong Prentiss woman would; she steeled her heart and shoved her emotions away, choosing to believe in what her mother had done well to teach her- that she needed to remember not to get attached next time, and that she would do better alone with a strong heart that together with a broken heart.

But some part of her heart refused to be shut down, refused to forget; instead, choosing to remind her of everything that she would miss in her now permanent absence. The lack of bone-crushing hugs and odd greetings from Garcia, the silence that would take the place of Reid's seemingly constant statistics. There would be no more bureaucratic complaints from JJ, no more updates on how Henry was doing in school, no hopes to see if there would ever be another addition to their family. No more affectionate teasing and Italian pet names from Rossi; No more long talks about Kurt Vonnegut and physical fitness with Morgan, and no more nights spent at the bar with the team as a whole. Despite her strong Prentiss roots, even Emily couldn't hold herself together anymore. She pulled her car to the side of the road as the tears flooded her eyes once more, and this time, she made no effort to hold them back. She sobbed with her whole heart, the tears staining her jeans the final goodbye to the team that had kept her sane for this long, even with the work hours.

It took some time, but as Emily calmed herself back down to as stable as she could be, an idea struck her. With a final hiccuping sob and a not-so-gentle swipe of her eyes to erase the last of her makeup with the tears, she pulled open her cell-phone and scrolled to the one number that she never expected to be calling tonight.

With a press of a button, Emily put the phone to her ear and listened to it dial. When she heard the click of the answer, she took no time in wasting on greetings. "Mother, are you in the States?"