Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I did, Asuma would not have died.
A/N: I love the beginning of this chapter! It's only five sentences long, but it sounds pretty cool. It's all dramatic and whatnot. You'll just have to read it to find out what I'm talking about.
Sorry about being late. I know I told people it would be out two days ago, but an unfortunate event occurred, and well, yeah. I'm really behind now.
Published November 16, 2006
Chapter 6 - Interrupted Argument
Five hours ago…
A surge of, what felt like an electric shock, ran through her body. 'He knows.' Her mind thought instantly. She smirked and chuckled slightly. 'Took him long enough.'
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Back in Shikamaru's office, Shikamaru was pacing, something he would usually never do because, of course, it was too troublesome.
"You could always pretend like this never happened." Chouji suggested, trying to cheer Shikamaru up.
"Chouji…." Shikamaru stated. "I'm a genius, remember? Don't you think I would have thought of that by now?"
"I'm just saying…why not?" Chouji asked.
"The female species is something I cannot understand and will never understand completely, but I do know this…" Shikamaru breathed in and sighed. "…women have a weird way of knowing things. It's like a sixth sense or something…they just know."
Chouji shivered. "Creepy."
"Very. Aren't you glad you're a guy?"
Chouji nodded. "Yup…most definitely."
"I guess I have to take extreme measures." Shikamaru sighed and sat down with his legs crossed. His left fingertips touched his right hand's fingertips. He went into his thinking position.
There was complete silence. Chouji wouldn't dare eat a chip when Shikamaru was thinking. Chouji was a good friend, so he just watched as Shikamaru had his eyes closed, thinking about a way to get out of this mess alive.
There was silence and more silence like a calm windless desert. The stillness stood for what seemed like days, which was really two hours.
Shikamaru opened his eyes.
Chouji had almost fallen asleep. Trying to stay quiet with no food to eat or anything to occupy his time with was hard.
"You're still awake?" Shikamaru was surprised at his best friend he thought he knew better than most. "I must've been at least a couple of hours."
"Two hours, 4 minutes, and 6 seconds." Chouji yawned. "So you finally found an answer?"
"Yeah…" Shikamaru said depressingly.
"So…?" Chouji grinned happily.
"Make sure I get a Shogi board buried with me at my funeral." Shikamaru stated seriously.
"You're kidding right? There's more right?" Chouji raised an eyebrow. 'He had better be kidding. I did not let him have two hours of silence just to say he wants a Shogi board at his funeral!'
"Yeah…I want a small tombstone made of gray marble. Just have it say 'R.I.P. Nara Shikamaru'. You don't even have to put my year or anything." Shikamaru continued being ever-so serious.
"WHAT?!" Chouji was as infuriated as he would get if someone called him 'fat'. "I didn't do anything, not even eat my chips, for two whole hours so you could say what you wanted for your funeral?!" Chouji shouted. "You're going to make a decision, and you're going to make it now, or Kami help me, I'll make a decision for you!"
"Oh whatever will I do?" Shikamaru sarcastically spoke in his lazy tone.
"Shikamaru!" Chouji shouted. He was getting very angry since his best friend wasn't making any progress.
"Chouji!" Shikamaru moaned. "Just make a decision for me!"
"Fine!" Chouji crossed his arms and thought of a solution. After ten seconds of Shikamaru waiting impatiently for Chouji's answer, he found a solution. "You have to make the decision, or else…I'll bring Ino and Temari into this very room and fight for you!
"Nani (what)?!" Shikamaru's eyes opened widely. Then he waved his hands frantically in front of himself. "Chouji, Chouji…let's just talk about this…"
"We've been talking about it for the past…" Chouji turned to look at the analog clock hanging from the western wall. "…five hours!" Chouji stomped over to the telephone on Shikamaru's desk.
"Chouji! No, don't!" Shikamaru yelled dramatically, which was very unlike him.
"Sorry, Shikamaru…but a ninja's gotta do what a ninja's gotta do." Chouji quoted trying to sound very serious. He picked up the telephone and started to dial Ino's cell phone number. (A/N: Yes, Ino has a cell phone…at least, now she does. It was in one of the anime credits.)
Shikamaru thought it would be best to try and stop Chouji, but realized soon later that Chouji would call both girls later anyways. Also, he knew the outcome would be death anyways, so he might as well die being known as 'the guy who died because two hot blondes were fighting over him'. 'That's catchy.' Shikamaru thought.
Chouji slammed the phone down onto the receiver. "The dark deed has been done." Chouji glared at Shikamaru evilly. He looked like he was possessed.
Shikamaru raised an eyebrow at Chouji. "Uh…okay…"
Chouji quickly changed his appearance from evilly possessed to happy schoolgirl. "I should get back home. Bye, Shikamaru!" Chouji almost skipped to the door.
'Oh no. Whenever a boy skips, it's not good.' Shikamaru thought. 'This must be bad.' He sighed.
Before Chouji opened the door, a thought came to his mind. "Oh yeah!" He turned around to face Shikamaru. "Don't do anything next Friday, okay?" Chouji said cheerfully.
"Why not?" Shikamaru almost hesitated to ask, scared of what the answer would be.
Chouji turned on his evil, creepy, face. "Just don't…"
You could just see the anime water drop on Shikamaru's face. "Uh…okay…" Shikamaru said uncertain.
"Well, bye!" Chouji waved and left.
Shikamaru slouched as he sighed. "Friends are troublesome." He said out loud to himself.
In an instant, there was a knock on the door.
Shikamaru slowly slugged back to his chair. "Come in." He said lazily.
A lavender-haired intern walked inside, carrying a stack of papers, blocking her face. "Here are some more papers, Shikamaru-kun!" The intern slammed the stack down onto his desk. She smiled cheerfully at Shikamaru and stood there for a long moment.
"Yes?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow.
"Will you go out with me?!" The lavender-haired maiden batted her eyelashes at Shikamaru.
"No." Shikamaru said plainly.
"Oh." The girl sighed. "Is there anything you'd like, Shikamaru-kun?" She said the words she was forced to say everyday cheerlessly.
"Yes…"
"Yeah?!" The intern looked as ecstatic as she could ever be. 'Maybe he changed his mind!'
"Don't call me Shikamaru-kun…" Shikamaru said monotonously.
The intern pouted. "Yes, Shikamaru-sama." She mumbled as she walked towards the door and slammed it as hard as she could.
This time Shikamaru's pictures didn't fall down, but his clock did.
"Troublesome interns with their troublesome fangirl attitude and their troublesome hard slamming." Shikamaru mumbled as he called someone who could fix the clock. 'One more down, too many more to go.'
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One week later…
Ino closed her eyelids shut. She loudly breathed in and out to calm herself. 'Okay…just go in and ask him straight out front, 'yes or no'. That's all you gotta do, Ino. Simple as that.' She was now in a calm state, that is, until she opened her eyes and saw her sitting on the bench in front of Shikamaru's office.
'Oh damn it. Why is she here?' Ino angered in her head. 'She better get lost. Chouji asked me to see Shikamaru.' A shocking thought ran through Ino's head. 'No way. It's not possible. No, no, no! That can't be right.' Ino shook her head vigorously.
'What the? That childish brat better not be here to see Shikamaru or else I'll have to kill her and Chouji. Chouji…he's so dead if he thinks he can get away with this.' Temari crossed her arms and stared at Ino. "Hey Yamanaka, what are you doing here?" Temari yelled across the hall, trying to sound friendly.
"Huh?" Ino stopped shaking her head and stared at Temari. 'That slut.' She thought as she walked over to Temari. Ino had a fake smile on her face, trying to fool Temari. "What are you doing here, Temari?" Ino asked sounding friendly and polite.
"Waiting for Shikamaru. He's in a meeting." Temari was still trying to sound as kind as possible.
"Really? What a coincidence! I'm waiting for Shikamaru too!" Ino said trying to sound surprised. You could tell she was faking it.
Temari sighed loudly. "Let's just stop this now, Yamanaka. We're both here to see Shikamaru. I don't want you here as much as you don't want me." Temari stopped acting.
"Fine." Ino said in a 'hmph' kind of tone. She sat down next to Temari.
After 30 seconds of silence.
"So…it's been a while." Ino started.
"Yeah. So?" Temari said rudely.
"I'm just saying it's been a while since we last spoke to each other." Ino retorted.
"If only it could've stayed that way." Temari rudely commented.
"I thought we were friends, Temari." Ino said back angrily.
"Well you thought wrong, Ino. I'm not your friend. At the most we were acquaintances." Temari cleared up.
"Really? Well I thought we were friends!" Ino shouted dramatically, almost crying.
"Stop it! You are so stupid and naïve! You have no idea when someone's pretending. It was all an act! You fell for it. As a ninja, you should know emotions must never show." Temari said lowly, still keeping her cool.
"Uh! How could you say that?! We were friends and you know it. A good ninja doesn't show emotion, but a great ninja shows emotion and handles the consequences that come with it." Ino pointed out. She had a good point.
"Well a ninja knows that you shouldn't do more than you have to. Why should you handle consequences when you don't need to?" Temari challenged Ino.
"It's harder to hide your emotions than take in the consequences of showing them." Ino fought back. "But then again, you're emotionless, aren't you? You and your brothers are all unemotional. It must run in the family." Ino thought she had won but she crossed the line.
"That's it. Emotions or not, you do not talk about me or my brothers that way." Temari stood up and glared at Ino with intent to kill.
"Bring. It. On." Ino had wanted this for a while. "Don't you even think you can steal Shikamaru away from me. He's mine." Ino stood up as well.
"You've had your chance all these years. If he hasn't said anything yet, what makes you think he really likes you that way?" Temari opened her fan. "I barely knew him and look at us now. We're closer than you two ever were. You might as well give up and try going out with Chouji."
"Chouji? He's one of my best friends. Why would I go out with him?" Ino raised an eyebrow.
Temari sighed and shook her head in disappointment. "Tsk, tsk. Yamanaka, you give a bad name to blondes. You have never seen what was right in front of you. You go after the hard-to-get who'll you'll never get. It's not worth it, Yamanaka. Chouji. Likes. You." Temari said slowly for Ino to comprehend.
"Wha-what?" Ino grew wide, then narrowed.
"Hello?! I just said it very slowly. Do I have to go slower? Chouji…likes…you…" Temari said even slower than before.
"That's impossible!" Ino shouted.
"Is it?" Temari raised an eyebrow as she crossed her arms. "I mean, he is very close to you. Have you been so sightless trying to win Shikamaru's heart that you haven't noticed the person who's done everything for you, been through everything with you, and would always take care of you, loves you?" Temari shrugged. "I guess you're just a little too immature to care about what's inside. You rag about his weight all the time. I see it and hear it from Shikamaru. You are so superficial, it's sad." Temari glared at Ino with disgrace.
"Like you care. You don't care about Shikamaru! I care about Shikamaru! You mean nothing to him and he means nothing to you! I'm his best friend!" Ino eyes started to water but not enough to create tears.
"Ha! That's what you think!" Temari laid both hands on her hip. "You're blinder than I thought. He cares about me more than you'll ever know! We actually have a relationship worth something. You're just someone he had to be stuck with." Temari pointed at Ino. "You may or may not know this, but Shikamaru chose to be around me. He chose to be my escort. We can actually have an intellectual conversation unlike…" Temari looked up and down Ino. "…you." She crossed her arms. "He doesn't like you that way, okay?"
"Well, he may not have wanted to be 'stuck with me' but he was and it was fate that brought us together!" Ino put her arms up, ready to fight.
"Psh…whatever. That is so cliché. I am not going to reduce myself to childish fights." Temari sat back down with her arms still crossed.
Ino sat back down with her arms crossed as well. "Hmph. You're the one who started it, slut." Ino muttered under her breath.
"What did you call me?" Temari stood back up, enraged by Ino's comment.
Ino rolled her eyes. "You heard me! I called you a 'slut'. S-L-U-T, slut. Got it?"
"Don't go calling me a slut! I am not a slut. You're the slut. You go prancing around in your skimpy little outfit." Temari pointed at Ino's choice of clothing.
"Well your clothes aren't exactly 'loose-fitting'. If I'm a slut, you must be a prostitute." Ino pointed at Temari.
"I'm impressed, Ino." Temari said sarcastically.
"Well thank you." Ino couldn't hear the sarcastic-ness in Temari's voice.
"I didn't know you even knew what the word prostitute meant." Temari chuckled slightly.
Ino thought of the first comeback in her head. "Shut up, slut!"
"I thought we already went through this." Temari sighed, annoyed at Ino. "I am not a slut, okay? Get it into your empty little head!" Temari was definitely irritated.
"Now you're just asking for a fight." Ino held her hands in fists.
"Oh, please. I've said it before." Temari crossed her arms and closed her eyes gently. "I am not going to reduce myself to such childish acts."
"Psh, whatever. You just know you would lose to me." Ino shrugged. "But, you know, I wouldn't blame you. I am a pretty great kunoichi."
"Please. Like I would ever be beaten by a 16 year-old Chuunin?" Temari put the tip of her fingers on her chest. "I'm 19 and a Jounin. You could never beat me." Temari scowled at Ino.
"We'll see about that." Ino decided to land a punch on Temari's face, but something stopped her.
"Okay, you two; that's enough. It's going a little too far now." It was the Fifth Hokage herself, one of the Three Legendary Sannin, Tsunade. "We don't want anyone to get hurt now."
"But it would be a great girl-fight!" Shouted Kotetsu and Izumo.
"What?!" Both Ino and Temari glared at Kotetsu and Izumo with murderous intent.
"Uhh…nothing?" Izumo and Kotetsu spoke nervously.
"Damn right better be nothing!" Temari raised her voice ever-so slightly.
"Wait a minute…what are you doing here Tsunade-sama?" Ino turned to Tsunade looking very confused.
"I've been here almost the whole time. I heard from a certain source that there was going to be a little argument today." Tsunade put both hands on her waist. "I didn't think it would be you two kunoichis."
"Y-You three were here the whole time?" Ino almost fainted at the thought of Tsunade listening to her and Temari argue over Shikamaru.
"The whole time..." Temari contemplated. "…oh m-" Temari could barely speak. She suddenly stopped when she saw that Shikamaru's office door was open. Temari straightened her composure. 'I'm not supposed to show emotions!' She thought in her head as she stood up. "Well…I guess I should go." Temari acted coolly. "Sayonara (goodbye), Tsunade." Temari smiled politely. "Ino." She muttered, barely audible, in disgust.
"Temari." Ino said with just as much disgust.
"I think I missed something. Why are they fighting over Shikamaru?" Kotetsu whispered to Izumo.
"Don't ask me. I have no idea." Izumo truthfully said, just as confused as Kotetsu.
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In Shikamaru's office.
One ring… two rings…three rings…
"Moshi, moshi (Hello). This is Nara Shikamaru." Shikamaru said monotonously. He did not like being forced to say this every time on the phone.
"Shikamaru!" A cheerful voice, well, cheered over the phone.
Shikamaru sighed. "Yeah, Chouji?"
"Did they come?!" An energetic Chouji asked.
"Yup." Shikamaru answered just as lazily as always.
"And…?" Chouji asked, expecting some good news.
"They started arguing…" Shikamaru sighed before he continued. "…about me." He was almost embarrassed to admit.
"And?!" Chouji said even more excitedly.
"And? And what?" Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "There was no and. That's it. They fought and Temari left." Shikamaru looked out his door. "Ino left as well."
"Well, didn't you listen to them?" Chouji said like it was so obvious.
"It's too troublesome to listen…especially to women." Shikamaru used his favorite phrase again.
"Shikamaru! This was supposed to help you make your decision!" Chouji yelled over the phone.
Shikamaru had to hold the phone an arm's length away due to Chouji's noisy chat. "Chouji!" Shikamaru raised his voice, but not enough to be considered shouting.
"Yeah?" Chouji stopped yelling and went back to his usual volume.
"How exactly would this help me with my decision?" Shikamaru asked, clueless of anything that had to with women.
"Well…" Chouji said before going into a long but speedy talk in one breath. "You see, if Ino and Temari see each other, there's bound to be some tension. Both of them will talk and chat about you and who should be with you. If you listened, you would find out some good reasons why that girl should or should not be with you. Also, you'll find out how much they really want you. You may even find out some secrets that only the two of them know. But the best part is…" Chouji took a second to breathe. "…if they start a catfight, whoever wins would be the one that loves you more."
"Not necessarily. Temari would win because she's an older Jounin. Ino is only a Chuunin." Shikamaru corrected.
"Nuh, uh-uh." Chouji corrected back. "That's not true. It's cliché, but love will conquer all. If Ino really loved you more than Temari, she'd do anything to beat Temari, which increases her stamina which would most likely have her win." Chouji said in one breath yet again. He was good at long one-breath speeches.
Shikamaru sighed. "This is too troublesome. I didn't get to see a 'catfight' anyways. Tsunade-sama butt-in right before. Kotetsu and Izumo were listening too. Definitely too much troublesome business going around."
"So, Izumo and Kotetsu know as well?" Chouji asked wanting a confirmation.
"Hai."
"We could always ask for their opinion…." Chouji suggested.
"Hell no." Shikamaru said lowly.
"Fine, fine. You still have to choose, though." Chouji reminded.
"I know…" Shikamaru sighed for the millionth time.
"So…"
"I like lilies. Have lilies at my funeral." Was all Shikamaru answered with.
Chouji sighed. "What color?" He couldn't help going along with Shikamaru.
"White…cloud white."
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A/N: I just felt like putting in Kotetsu and Izumo. They're pretty cool! I don't know if they're Tsunade's helpers anymore though. They were in the anime, so yeah. And since chapter 328, what else would they do? Anyways, I hope this chapter wasn't too bad. I wanted Ino and Temari to argue with each other a little. I've already written some of the last chapter. I love how it turned out (the last chapter, not this chapter). I have no idea what's going to happen next, so we'll all have to wait and read.
