Hello, again, folks! I am so very sorry about this delay, but with medical emergency in the family and holidays I just couldn't find the time to write. I missed it, badly!
I am not that confident to believe that you missed me nearly as much as I missed you, but I really wanted to put this next chapter on. Hope you enjoy it.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything.
Chapter 7
Lavon dragged himself out of bed, down the stairs and into the kitchen as memories of last night tormented him. He was tossing and turning all night while one question kept repeating itself in his head. Why did she come?
Saying sorry was never priority for Lemon, especially when she knew she really was wrong. She'd rather say it when she wanted to get something, fall into someone's good graces. Lavon never really blamed her for that. That was just the way she was – uncompromising and a little vain. Only a few lucky ones see beyond that and knew what lies beneath, how fragile she could be. And not all of them appreciated it enough.
He knew what it was like to have air knocked out of your lungs. He knew the feeling of gasping for air desperately trying to find a single straw to endure. Maybe Lemon's straw was saying sorry and maybe her straw was him. With a deep-seated feeling of unease Lavon admitted that he wasn't sure if he was able or willing to play that part.
She didn't ask anything from him last night. She didn't even want to come inside when he invited her. They sat in the dark for a while cautiously choosing words. And then she was gone. She left him a puzzle that he suspected she was the final part. That scared him the most.
Lavon had well established morning routine and the crucial part of it was to welcome each morning with a smile. Feeling that it was already broken, he decided to skip breakfast hoping Zoe would get up late and that he will not have to listen about her health advices on why that was not smart. His hopes went through the window as the front door opened and she barged in looking as she had a rough night, too.
"Morning", she dragged.
"Morning", Lavon replied.
He watched as she passed her usual spot and went to pour herself some coffee...Black and unsweetened which was her least favorite one. Almost encouraged by her actions Lavon went and did the same. They drank their large cups in silence looking intently at the fruit basket placed in the middle of the kitchen island like it was the most interesting thing in the world.
Friendly chat with Zoe was a big part of his morning routine for the past year and now that was skipped, too. Lavon couldn't help but feel that too many things were out of place and it only felt like more will follow.
She let out a sigh and rubbed her face tiredly eventually letting a sound Lavon thought sounded like a growl.
"Zoe, you know you can talk to me, right?"
She smiled at him and nodded shortly, but didn't say a word.
"Whenever you feel like talking, of course…" he added.
"Same goes for you".
Now was his turn to nod.
To anyone outside these few words uttered would seem like the cue for storytelling to start, but not for these two. They choose to remain silent. Zoe was glancing at the clock every few minutes silently calculating the time she had before having to start her working day as Lavon tried to be useful by pouring more coffee into their mugs.
At eight o'clock sharp, door swung open and Wade barged in.
"Morning y'all!" he greeted enthusiastically but instead of reply all he got was a courteous smile from Lavon and awkward one from Zoe.
He approached the island and put his arms on its surface glancing at their faces repeatedly.
"Something wrong?" he asked again, his voice now lined with worry.
"Everything and nothing", Lavon replied.
Wade was interested in what Zoe had to say in the matter but she seemed to try pretty hard to avoid his gaze, causing his enthusiasm to subside more every second.
"Can you be a little more specific?" he asked nervously.
"That would mean I know more and I can't say that I do", Lavon replied standing up.
"We talk in puzzles today, huh?!"
He got no response to this.
Lavon curled his hand into a loose fist and knocked it against the marble surface when he absently excused himself and went to get ready for his day. Wade watched him leave not missing how his shoulders seemed more slumped than usual. His eyes darted to Zoe but she was just as uninterested in telling him more as he expected her to be and Wade hated that he was too afraid to ask for the reason.
As he turned back on her and started working on his breakfast he tried to think of everything that could go wrong since last night. He wasn't really in the category of tactful people, but he was discerning enough to know when to avoid asking questions. Even if the words burned his tongue he decided to be quiet. Not being completely sure what his relationship with Zoe was wasn't helpful in the terms of deciding how much space or time he should give her. Were they friends or something more…Or nothing at all…
This thought was enough to draw a sigh from him.
There was something infectious about the all around mood.
"Scrambled or boiled?"
"What?" Zoe replied sounding as he had startled her.
"Eggs – scrambled or boiled?" he repeated turning his head just enough to catch a glimpse of her.
"Neither. I am not really hungry".
"Doc, you don't need me telling you that you have to eat".
"How do you know I haven't eaten already?"
"No dishes. Also, there's no coffee left in the pot, so you couldn't have the time to drink so much if you took the time to eat and clean", he chuckled.
"Sorry, Sherlock", she laughed a little.
"No problem!" Wade replied smiling as he was now fully facing her holding a pair of eggs in each hand. "So, what's it gonna be?"
"Boiled. Hard", Zoe agreed.
Wade went into full chef mode after that and Zoe jumped from her stool and headed towards the fridge. She got some groceries, but he noticed that they weren't compatible with what he was making. He protested sounding slightly offended.
"Doc, I am not that great in the kitchen, but it's not like you have to prepare back-up breakfast", he added a small chuckle to this remark.
"Shhhh… I am trying to make a sandwich for Lavon. He hasn't had breakfast and I'll just hand it to him on his way out".
"You're trying to make a sandwich?!"
Zoe shot him a look that ordered him to shut up and then returned to organizing ingredients like she was preparing for the surgery. Wade found it incredibly amusing. When she started cutting pickles and making sure they are all sized equally, he stiffened a giggle causing her to throw a piece of lettuce his way.
Nevertheless, the sandwich was done and she was very proud of how it turned out. She turned back to her seat placing the nicely wrapped lunch package in front of her on the counter and waited for Lavon to come down the stairs again.
"Is everything alright?" Wade asked cutting the silence again and startling her a bit.
"What do you mean?"
"With you and Lavon? You looked… bothered".
It was true and she hated it. The way her mood was changing in the past few days was exhausting. It went from being anxious to being relaxed, from wanting to hide in the corner and cry to wanting to top the highest mountain. She tried to follow her mother's advice about choosing herself first, but it was too damn hard when she was so afraid of hurting everyone else.
Wade did call her snobbish and selfish once. Maybe he was right, but what Zoe knew about herself was that even if she did hurt someone she would make sure she was hurting even more. Poor judgment and bad decisions were her specialty. She was seriously lacking people skills, so she chose one field of medicine that didn't require them. She would approach thoroughly examined problem and solve it with scalpel while hiding behind her mask.
Few times she encountered with people who thought surgeons were falling under the same category with lawyers and suits in general calling them calculated, insensitive and cold. They would often say that surgeons liked to solve the problem with cutting because they didn't know other way. She liked to put it in reverse – surgeons solved problems when everyone else failed. Again, you can bang the old electronic device and make it work so many times before you have to call the electrician to open it.
Maybe that was the approach she needed. The only restriction was emotional closeness, but that was just the problem. She couldn't have been closer to this one even if she tried.
"Zoe?"
"Huh?" she looked up and met Wade's worried gaze realizing he was still waiting for the answer.
She really wanted to give him one, but she had no idea how to phrase it. Just as she opened her mouth to speak, Lavon came into the kitchen again and she let out a sigh of relief, hoping that Wade will forget about it once they're alone again.
"I made you a sandwich!" she squeaked at Lavon whose face expression hasn't changed much in the time he was gone.
"Thanks, Z, but I am really not hungry", he replied.
"Wade convinced me to have breakfast and now I am convincing you. Black coffee on an empty stomach can do a lot of damage, you know."
"Wade is now in charge for our well-being?! Lucky us!"
"Hey!" Wade yelled in protest, but it hit Zoe how true that actually was and just in terms of nourishment. Unfortunately, that thought didn't sit well on her especially when it caused wave of guilt.
"My God, look at the time!" Zoe shrieked again. "I am sorry! I gotta go!"
With that, Zoe jumped from the stool again, excused herself again and ran out through the door leaving Wade with the wooden spoon in his hand and a puzzled expression on his face. Lavon mumbled see ya and left as well.
Sandwich was left untouched on the counter, hard boiled eggs still in the cooker and salad in the bowl unfinished as Wade finally sat down with his appetite out of the window, too.
Zoe came in the office panting wondering what kind of excuse she could possibly give this time after being late again. She tried to remember if there was some clause about flexible working hours but even if there was that wouldn't be much of a comfort.
Luckily, the waiting room was almost empty and much to her surprise instead of Addy behind the reception desk, there was Rose. Rose! The closest thing to a female friend she had in Bluebell. She was a sweet girl, but that was just it. She was a fourteen year old girl and it kind of freaked Zoe that they had so much in common. Suddenly, being infatuated with the guy for a year; a guy who was involved with another woman sounded worse than before.
"Hey, Zoe!" Rose greeted her with a large smile. That was probably the thing Zoe liked the most about her.
"Rose!" Zoe greeted back feeling both happy and surprised to see her.
"Brick asked me to feel in for Addy this morning. She's off to Mobile on some schooling matter and he's away on call" the girl explained.
"Not too much work, I see?"
"There will be no patients until noon, but you have someone already waiting for you in your office".
Zoe had one guess and she really hoped she wasn't right. She took two cautious steps towards the door, pondering on who else could be waiting inside before she finally took a deep breath and stepped in. Nothing… Absolutely nothing could've prepared her for what came next.
"48 minutes! You're 48 minutes late! You're a doctor for Christ's sake! People can actually die while you are painting your toe nails!"
"Lemon?!"
Wade had two cups of coffee and he was already on his second beer since Zoe and Lavon left. He also cleaned the kitchen, but in all honesty there wasn't a lot to be done since he packed all the food from that morning deciding to take it to Earl later. Sitting around not doing anything wasn't really his thing and it was way too early to start on his guitar. It wasn't nearly as fun when there was no one around, especially when there was no chance to blow the fuse box since Zoe had already left for work.
He remembered Lavon asked him to fix and paint the mail box after the storm knocked it down. That idea sounded too boring for Wade at first, but with nothing better to do he decided to just go ahead and do it. He was already on his way to retrieve the brushes, when he pulled out the phone and texted the simple.
"Forgot paint and brushes at your place. Ok if I take them?"
"It's unlocked! They are in the bathroom under the sink" reply came quickly.
"Wouldn't stop me if it wasn't!" he texted finally with the small smile playing on his lips.
He's been in her house a lot of times but it never stopped to amaze him just how different this place looked than a year before. It was girly and full of flowers he didn't even know the name of, but he liked it. It smelled like her. Even those damn satin pillows on her bed he found rather annoying, but he remembered how comfortable they were. Looking around her room felt like he was looking at Zoe. There were so many things he would say he hated if he was observing them separately, but in a package, they had charm and were kind of irresistible - just like she was to him.
He was well aware why he came here in the first place but being engulfed in all those things that easily sparked memories made it hard to work quickly. Still, he couldn't tell why he tried to chase away every single thought that came to his mind. He was uncomfortable with how they made him feel.
Bathroom was even worse, with all those little crèmes and fragrances that lingered around. It was too much for him and it started making him feel more than just uncomfortable and since he didn't want to be a creep he decided to speed up.
Wade got what he needed and was ready to go out, but as he stood up he caught a glimpse of something square and white…And handwritten.
It took him only seconds to get to the front door and he stormed out as if the devil was on his trail. Fresh air felt nice, but it started choking him when he encountered with just the last person on earth he wanted to see right now.
"Hey, Wade!" the voice greeted him. "Zoe around?"
Wade's jaw clenched.
"Funny little thing that Doc, isn't she?" he almost spat back. "Slips away through fingers easily".
"Sorry?!"
"Nothing… Anyway, you just missed her".
Wade walked away mumbling something and George looked as he stormed off wondering what in the world bit him now.
Zoe placed her small cell phone back in her pocket after giving directions to Wade, finding his joke in the last message funny but was unable to smile. She was too distracted by the young blonde comfortably seated in the armchair staring at her with arched eyebrows and pouty lips.
"For the record, I wasn't painting my toe nails" Zoe replied to Lemon's reproachful statement.
"Good. Leaves you more time to do your hair then…. Though, it seems like you could use all the time in the world for that", the blonde added.
Zoe had to hand it to her. Lemon knew her way around insults, but even if she could find a word or two in her own dictionary to respond to this, she decided against it.
"Lemon, what are you doing here?" she asked taking a seat behind the desk. "If I remember correctly your father is your doctor. I can only guess that your visit doesn't require my medical services. However, other people do, which is why I don't have time for this-"
"The waiting room is empty, Dr Hart", Lemon interrupted her. "It was when I came and it is now. I checked about appointments with Rose, because I am responsible enough to do so, unlike-"
Lemon then silenced herself as if she was biting her tongue about something. When she started speaking again, her tone was much calmer and steadier. She even lost that "I-am-full-of-myself" smile which kind of scared Zoe.
"But you're right. I don't need your medical services, I just came to talk".
"Talk?!"
"Yes, talk. I believe you're familiar with the concept".
Zoe smiled a little to herself. No matter how hard Lemon tried she just couldn't help it.
She feared this moment ever since the whole thing escalated. It wasn't the talk that scared her, it was just the first encounter with Lemon, but that was bound to happen. The sooner the better, she thought. And it wasn't exactly fear. It was more anxiousness because she had no idea what to expect. It's not like Lemon would suddenly turn into mythical creature with nine heads, but if she was completely honest that thought did cross her mind.
Zoe had to admit that so far it wasn't that bad. So, she just nodded.
"As you know, my life has turned out to be a bit of a mess lately. Trust me, I am not feeling nowhere near comfortable admitting to that, but it's true. And as I am trying to bring it back in order I feel that the best way to start is to address people who took part in making it that way".
Zoe nodded again.
"Don't worry. I won't blame everything on you. I said people, not person", Lemon attempted a smile.
"You still chose to start at the top of the ladder, right?"
"Dr Hart, we finally understand each other!" her smile grew wider and her voice sounded poised again. "Anyway, even if you did cause a lot of troubles when you came here, I am well aware not everything was your doing. Some of them were just kept under the surface for a long time".
"You're talking about Lavon?"
Lemon nodded shortly.
"I don't think it's fair to refer to Lavon as trouble, Lemon", Zoe protested.
"Yes, but what caused me to turn to him was. And what came out of it is, too".
Zoe agreed on this.
"I am not here to talk about Lavon, though…" Lemon tried to put a stop on this subject and Zoe could tell it was making her really uncomfortable.
Lavon was definitely the best friend she had in Bluebell. Perhaps, the best one she ever had. Even if she did have something to say about Lemon treated him, she felt that it wasn't her place. She also felt like she had no right. In the end, she was probably the last person in the world to give lectures on how to treat people right.
"I am here to talk about you… And George", Lemon said finally.
"Before you say anything else, Lemon… There isn't really George and me. Not like that, not together".
"And that isn't something I want to be bothered with, which is exactly what I came to tell you".
"Sorry, it's a little hard to believe that. Up until a week ago you were ready to commit to him 'until death do you part' "
"But I didn't! Not everything that looks like love is love, Zoe. Not the 'for the rest of our lives' kind at least. Maybe there's a little part of me that's grateful to you for making George see it."
This was probably the first time Lemon has ever said her name and Zoe didn't really know how to respond to this other than to dig deep into her own understanding of romance and love. Sometimes, she could've sworn her choices came from convenience. Like when she was with her college boyfriend and stayed with him because they went to the same school and worked at the same hospital. It was effortless for her. So effortless in fact that she forgot what it was to put some effort in something in order for it to work.
This came to her mind, but Zoe knew that it couldn't be applied on Lemon. Because Lemon did put effort in everything she was doing. Maybe too much effort; maybe that was her problem. Whichever the reason was, the result was the same: lying to others, lying to yourself and relationships fail.
"Should I respond with 'you're welcome'?" Zoe asked awkwardly.
"You don't have to respond at all", Lemon said. "I've been just left at the altar. It's pretty much the biggest blow for a woman and as you can see I am alive and well."
That was true. Lemon looked just as lively as ever.
Zoe's psych rotation at the hospital served for nothing, at least that how she looked at it, but she did learn a thing or two about denial and other coping mechanisms. She learned just enough to be able to tell that Lemon wasn't in one. Maybe she also learned enough to know that she was much closer to it.
"Wait a second. Are you here to give us your blessing?" Zoe asked sounding a little bit annoyed.
"No, I am here to tell you that you can stop sneaking around in case you are. George is not the sneaking type and I would hate to see him become one. And in case your worry about how I am going to react delayed your decision making I can assure you that I am going to be just fine and that you can freely make one."
"Thank you, I guess" Zoe replied still annoyed although she didn't know why. Lemon was actually being pretty civil about everything if you disregard those little insults she just couldn't help.
"Also, this can serve you to tell yourself the truth, you know. In case you weren't being completely honest with yourself about what's making you prolong your single status".
Lemon said it like it wasn't a big thing, but it was and Zoe was taken aback by it.
"What makes you think that I am prolonging it?"
"Dr. Hart, let's be honest. You don't do things, you get pushed into them." Zoe shot her a look. "It's a small world".
She wanted to protest. She so desperately wanted to say something to defend herself, but it seemed like she was transparent to everyone but herself. It was frustrating to no end to know that no matter how hard she tried to hide and run, the only thing she managed to do was to hide from was no one but her. And while everyone else knew what was going on she was puzzled, one of those puzzles she liked to solve in operations, but couldn't perform one on herself. She was too emotionally close. It would hit too close to home.
She wanted to defend herself and the worst part of it was that she wasn't even attacked.
"Anyway, that's it. I don't hate you nor do I plan to. I am not going to invent some big scheme to ruin your life if that's what you were afraid of", Lemon stated plainly. "I just wanted the clean-slate. And I also wanted to tell you that I will try to keep your influence on my life to a minimum. Nothing personal, I just don't like that New York type of thinking".
"Fair enough", Zoe agreed finally as Lemon stood up from the chair fully regaining her bubbly posture.
"Anthuriums! I love them!" Lemon complimented on her flowers choice on her way to the door and Zoe tried to fight the feeling of everything just laughing at her face.
"Lemon!" Zoe called after her just before she grabbed the knob.
"Yes?"
"I am the second person you spoke to, right?"
Lemon flinched a little at the question, but replied with the simple 'yes'.
They nodded to each other and Lemon left. Zoe heard her say goodbye to Rose and the bell above the front door. She took just a moment to think about everything before she took her phone and dialed the number.
"George?" she said. "Are you free tonight? I was thinking maybe we can have that talk?"
"Eight is fine", she said after the short pause and ended the call.
As she left the mayor's office Lavon was thinking that Zoe was probably right about how his stomach is going to act after that strong black coffee he had that morning. With the busy day he was having he had to skip lunch the situation was only getting worse. He called the "Fancy's" from the office, ordered the take-out and was on his way to pick it, when he saw someone familiar.
With his back turned on him, Wade didn't even hear him coming too busy fixating on something he saw. As he came closer it was becoming more and more obvious what took his attention.
"Wade", he greeted simply.
"Funny little thing that Doc, isn't she? Slips away through fingers easily", Wade replied still without looking at his friend.
"They all do", Lavon replied as he put hands in his pockets.
They walked away down the street slowly, turning their backs on Zoe and George as they walked into the restaurant.
Here it is!
I know that my way of ending chapters is a little annoying, but it kind of ushers me to write more. :)
One thing I wanted to ask you about is about the lenght of my chapters. I am really not a fan of short ones, but I don't enjoy too long chapters either. When I started this story, my chapters were around 2k words with A/N and all. Now, with this one I am closing on 4k without A/N. And as I do try to make the reading worth the wait I don't want to end up dragging it too much and bore you with unnecessary descriptions. I try to cut the length of paragraphs as much as I can. I don't know if you share my trouble with reading long ones, but I certainly ain't gonna risk it. Please, give me your feedback on this matter. I really want to know how you feel about it.
About this chapter alone, Lemon has become one of my favorite characters in the show and I had to bring her in. Also, I had to put Rose in, because I shamefully admit that I completely forgot about her. I also want to say that I won't be writing any particular storyline for her and therefore I apologize to all of you who want to read about her.
As for other characters, I believe that the time has come to start speaking their mind and stop hiding behind masks - surgical or any other kind.
Not sure when the next chapter will be finished, but a big thanks to all of you who are with me on this. Thank you for reading, following and for being so kind in your reviews. It means the world to me.
xoxo
