AN: Um. I realize you all have had to wait a bit longer than usual for an update, and to be honest, I have no spectacular excuse other than I kept rewriting because I wasn't happy with this chapter. For everyone that was hoping for a a spectacular excuse...I spent the last week running from rabid water buffaloes, and you know how difficult it is to write in those kinds of situations. Anyway, it took a heck of a lot to beat the chapter into submission, and I'm still not 100% pleased, but it's much better than it was at my first draft, which is nice. No one's too terribly upset with me, I hope? ...right? -.-'
Take a Shot for You
~In which L steals a red sports car~
"I don't believe you! After I bitched at you for months to go out and find someone, you get a boyfriend and then you don't even think it's a good idea to tell me?"
"Sayu—"
"And then you bring him to your home without letting me get a look at him—"
"What? Why would I need your permission—"
"When you could have picked up some serial rapist that's just waiting to get you alone in your house, and here this guy is, already apparently comfortable enough to shower here and walk around in a towel like it's no big deal—"
"Sayu—!"
"Of all the people you choose not to share this big news with—! I'm insulted, Onii-chan. Simply insulted."
"Sayu!"
"And, and, and, oh! I've got to call Misa, you know she's gonna be pissed at you, big brother. She's been trying to set you up every chance she gets—"
"No! Don't call Misa! Sayu—"
"But I think you should have at least—"
"SAYU!"
The young woman fell silent and glanced over at Light, who was fuming.
"He's not my boyfriend. He's not even… like… a friend friend."
L looked vaguely insulted.
Sayu raised an eyebrow. "Sure."
Growl.
Smirk.
"He's not!" Light insisted. "You just… managed to walk in at the worst fucking time possible. Here, look." He turned to L. "Do you want to screw me?" he demanded, giving him a look that said, 'Don't you dare say anything stupid.'
L pretended to look surprised. "Why, Yagami-kun, we've only been on one date."
Before Light could close the space between them to choke the life out of L in a fit of rage, Sayu practically shrieked, "You went on a date?"
"It wasn't a date! Sayu, he's not my boyfriend, he's—"
"Actually, I was the one who was originally hired to—" L tried to put in, but was silenced by Light, who clasped a hand over L's mouth.
"Ryuzaki!" he hissed disbelievingly; that L would come out and say he was the one who was going to kill their father… Light yelped suddenly as L bit at his palm.
"What I was trying to say was that Light hired me to catch the person who attacked your father," L said, pulling away from Light.
"Oh… yeah. That's it. He's… yeah," Light murmured lamely, ignoring L's snort of exasperation.
"Oh! Light! That reminds me why I came here in the first place," Sayu said. "We just brought Dad home; he says he wants to see you."
Light's face fell. "Uh… good! That's great. But I don't really…"
"You look less than enthused, Yagami-kun," L put in. "Take an hour or so to visit your father. I'll be fine here."
"You could take the opportunity to tell him about your boyfriend!" Sayu suggested mischievously, grabbing Light's wrist and pulling him towards the door.
A furious cry of "He's NOT my boyfriend!" was cut off as Sayu slammed the door, leaving L to attack the cake.
About an hour later, Light threw the door open and pulled it closed loudly, muttering under his breath and looking distinctly annoyed. He stalked into the kitchen, prepared to find L with a face full of vanilla cake, but the assassin was nowhere to be seen.
…Nor was the cake. What the hell? Light stared at the empty cake plate and messy kitchen, unable to believe that L had devoured the entire dessert in under an hour. Assuming that L was lying somewhere in the house in a diabetic coma, Light made his way to the living room.
Surprisingly, L was sitting on the couch, seemingly fine, arguing on his cell phone. The voice on the other line was getting louder and louder until L interrupted calmly, "I'm sorry that you are inconvenienced, Higuchi, but I cannot help you." The voice responded sharply and apparently hung up. He flipped the phone shut. "Well, that was very immature," he murmured, then caught sight of Light, who was looking fairly confused.
"I am in need of your vehicle," L said simply, standing up and stretching.
"Thanks for the warm welcome," he replied sourly. "Not to mention, you left your dirty dishes all over the kitchen and you managed to get frosting on the floor and the walls. I hope you're not expecting me to clean up your mess."
"Yagami-kun," L said, as though Light hadn't heard him quite well, "I am in need of your vehicle."
Light looked at him, something strange and somehow frightening as hell flashing in his eyes.
"I just spent the last hour comforting my mother and being lectured at by my father, who, despite having been admitted out of the hospital just this morning after being in critical condition, felt it necessary to chastise me about my career choice."
"Um—"
"AND, Sayu managed to incorporate gay sexual innuendo into almost every sentence, because she's trying to make me come out of the closet to my father, which, as you can imagine, would have made the situation even more awkward than it already was."
"Yagami-kun—"
"So the last thing I need when I get home is to find the kitchen looking like a… a frosting gremlin tore that shit up and you asking me to use my car for reasons I don't even know!"
"Frosting gremlin?" L inquired.
Light quite literally snarled at him, turning on his heel and stalking into the kitchen. When L tried to follow him, Light shrieked at him to "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY KITCHEN!" and he decided to take cover on the couch, musing that Light was acting like an angry wife (but figured he'd probably rip L's head off if he told him).
Some time later, Light reentered the living room, appearing much calmer than before, but L was damned if he would let down his guard; after all, L had simply asked to borrow the car when Light had flipped out.
"So," Light said brusquely, "where do you need to go?"
L stared at him. Bipolar disorder, maybe? He wasn't sure, but was pretty positive he didn't want to know. "My apartment. If you could just give me the keys—"
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not leaving you with my car. I'm driving."
L shook his head firmly. "You will be safer if you remain here."
"What are you talking about?"
"The man on the phone was one of my previous clients, Higuchi. He is under suspicion of the murder I committed for him, and he is a bit… upset. He wants his money back. I told him no. Unsurprisingly, he is angry, and informed me he'd be sending some 'friends' to discuss things with me. There is a possibility he may be able to find me, and I would feel better if I had the entirety of my weapons, which are back at my apartment. I require your keys."
"Ryuzaki—"
"I will assume that you are going to argue. I will argue back, you will get pissed off and possibly throw something at me, I will suggest that you may accompany me, but that I drive, and you will say…?" L looked at Light inquisitively.
Light rolled his eyes. "I'll say, 'Sure, but you have to put on heavier clothes because it's freezing outside.' You'll refuse. We'll leave."
"I suggest we 'cut to the chase,' as it were, and simply go," L said, the corner of his mouth lifting slightly.
Light tossed him the keys.
After loading, in Light's opinion, far too many bags of guns, explosives, poisons, and various other death devices into the car, they started back towards Light's apartment.
Trying to ignore Light's detailed explanation of his visit with his father while trying to seem like he was paying attention (it appeared to work, because Light didn't even seem to stop talking long enough to breathe), L glanced into the rearview mirror and frowned, turning off into a less crowded street.
"What're you doing?" Light asked. "My house is—"
"Quiet a moment, Yagami-kun," L said, watching the rearview mirror and waiting… there. L turned sharply into an empty construction site, knocking over several orange cones.
"Ryuzaki!"
"We are being followed."
Light twisted in his seat. "A black Sedan? Isn't that a bit cliché?"
"You don't sound particularly alarmed."
"Neither do you."
"I'm not particularly emotional in general."
Light couldn't deny that. "Why exactly are we trespassing on a construction site?"
"The less fatalities, the better, right?" Before Light could demand what he meant by that, a bullet struck the bumper of the car. "Get down," he ordered, more bullets striking the car and putting holes in the windshield. Light ducked.
"What the fuck is going on?"
"We are being shot at. That is the extent of my knowledge."
"I know that, you ass. Why—?" Light's question was cut off as something sailed over the car –was that a fucking grenade? – and exploded in front of them –yes, I suppose it was– and knocked the car onto its side, which skidded to a stop and sent sparks flying before righting itself, half the door torn off.
L checked himself over rather calmly, pleased to find he'd suffered no major injuries, and glanced over at Light, who was understandably a bit freaked out.
"Holy shit, I'm dead, I'm dead, I've died, I'm dead, I—"
"You are decidedly alive, Yagami-kun," L informed him, reaching into the back and hauling a duffle bag up. "Get out of the car."
"Say the fuck what?"
Instead of answering, L braced himself and shoved the door open, darting around behind the car with the bag. The Sedan came to a stop about fifty yards away and continued to fire at them.
"Yagami-kun, get out of the car," L called out.
"They'll shoot me!" Light said incredulously. "Are you insane?"
"They're already shooting at you," L pointed out, still calm. "If they keep firing at the engine, the car's going to explode whether you are in it or not."
No response.
"Yagami-kun?"
A pause, then an angry "Shit!" before Light stumbled out of the car and practically tripped over L, who grabbed his wrist and pulled him down.
"Nice of you to join me."
"Do something!" Light demanded, panicked.
L reached into the bag and grabbed a rather large gun, peeked above the car, and fired at the Sedan. "We have the upper hand," he told Light, who was on the verge of a panic attack. "Higuchi wants me alive so he can get his money back, but I have no qualms about killing him."
"Um," Light managed, flinching every time a bullet struck the car.
"You're handling this quite well," L remarked.
Light found his voice. "If I die, I'm coming back and haunting you for the rest of your days. You'll never have a moment's peace."
"That's nice," L murmured distractedly, concentrating on firing with one hand and reaching back into the duffle with the other. He tossed Light a small object from the bag before pulling out (to Light's disbelief) an even bigger gun. Light caught it, startled.
"Pull the pin, count to five, and throw it at the Sedan," L instructed, loading the gun busily.
"Wait, what?"
"Please hurry, Yagami-kun."
Flustered, Light yanked the pin out and paused. "How long did you say to—"
L plucked the grenade from Light's hands and threw it as hard as he could. A satisfying explosion shook the ground, and L turned to give Light a level stare.
"Don't look at me like that!" Light defended. "You nearly killed yourself twice today with a lack of appliance experience."
L had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. "Right. I apologize for my hypocrisy."
Finger flip.
L glanced over the top of the car and blinked. "We need to move on quickly." He grabbed Light's wrist and pulled him up to stand, leading the way out of the construction site.
Light glanced back to see multiple shards of metal, scraps of upholstery, and… body parts. Eugh. Everything that had happened caught up with him, and Light began to shake. "Ryuzaki, I don't know whether to thank you for getting us out of that or to kill you for getting us into it in the first place. I think I'm scarred for life."
"And the fun's only getting started!" L said brightly. Light glared at L, whose expression softened. "Light-kun," he said gently, "you need to hold yourself together for a bit longer."
Light nodded wordlessly, taking a few deep breaths. What was a couple hundred dollars more in therapy bills? They reached the main street, and L reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone, punched in a number, and held it to his ear between his thumb and forefinger as they continued to walk.
"…B? It's me." Light glanced over at him. Did no one have a proper name anymore? "I want to play a game." Laughter on the other line. "Hide and seek. You and me against Higuchi's men. Do you remember him?" More laughter, and a quiet response. "That's disgusting. Just get rid of them, you don't need to—" The voice on the other end interrupted, sounding petulant. "I said no." An angry response. "What if we made it interesting?" A pause. "I believe there are about ten men still out there. Whoever bags the most—" An excited interruption. L frowned. "No." An irritated response. "…fine. I'll meet up with you in a few days."
"Who was that?" Light asked as L flipped the phone shut.
L looked thoughtful. "…An associate. You may meet him later." As they walked, L brushed against a man in a business suit walking the other way. "Of course, I'm not about to lose to him. I think I know where the rest of them will be. We just need to get there…" He held up a set of keys and pressed a panic button on the car key. A red sports car's siren started, and L's eyes lit up.
"Wha— you're going to steal a car?"
L ignored him, turning the siren off and unlocking the car. "Get in."
"No! I'm done with this! I'm only with you so you can help me with my father; I'm not running around to help you kill people, Ryuzaki! I'm going home."
"Higuchi's men know you were with me. They'll come after you."
"I'll go to the police."
L raised an eyebrow. "You will live much longer if you accompany me."
"I'm going home. I'll leave your bag outside the building. Don't you dare come back to my apartment." Light turned, intent on going home on foot.
L frowned and dug something from his pocket, following behind him.
Light felt a sharp pinch at his neck. "What the fuck?"
L calmly pulled the needle from Light's neck. "I apologize. I did try to reason with you."
"You drugged me?"
"It will take full effect in approximately fifteen seconds, and you will remain unconscious for about three hours. Like I said, your chances of survival are much higher with me. Plus, it will be easier with you asleep, for sheer lack of grenade mishaps." L looked apologetic.
Light looked furious, even as his vision swam. "I'll fucking kill you."
"You have my full permission to yell at me once you awaken," L promised, leading Light to the car to get him in the back seat before he lost consciousness.
Light passed out.
Reviews are greatly appreciated and always answered.
Over 9000 (overused joke is overused) thankyous to Dlvvanzor, who beta'd this -and every other- chapter.
