I'M ALIVE! :) Sorry for the lack of update lately, I've been super swamped with homework and college applications... Anyway thanks for those of you who have stuck with the story. I really appreciate all your support :D
All characters are the property of JK Rowling
"You wanted to see me, ma'am?" James asked as soon as the eagle statue deposited him in McGonagall's office.
"Your mother needs you to go home tonight, Mr. Potter," she said gently. "She needs to talk to you about Albus and Teddy."
Terror seized him as soon as Teddy's name was mentioned. He nodded quickly, darting up to her desk to get the Floo powder.
As soon as he arrived home, he ran upstairs toward his parents' room. He heard voices coming from Al's room, so he burst in, panting.
"Where's Teddy?" He gasped. "is he okay? Professor McGonagall told me something was wrong with you guys and –"
"James, have a seat." His mom said kindly, patting the bed. "First of all, I would like to apologize to you, Jamie."
'Why?" James asked, his eyebrows rising. "What happened?"
"Today at school, Albus - with the help of Scorpius – turned Victoire into a cow. Do you know why he did that?"
James shook his head, his mood darkening at the mention of his cousin's name. "Did she do something to Teddy? Did she dump him? Break his heart? Because if she did, I swear to Merlin I'll –"
"Okay, all this hatred against Victoire has to stop!" Ginny cried. "I understand what's happened, but not everything is her fault and first thing tomorrow you, Albus, are going to apologize to her so we can sort this all out."
She refused to continue until she made Al promise. James glared at the bedsheets, covering his eyes with his hair until she continued.
"Okay, now. James, the reason I'm apologizing is because Albus told me everything. He reminded me all about you and Teddy and I'm so, so sorry from not remembering this before."
"Great," James said bitterly. "So Al reminded you I'm a freak, right? 'Oh that pouf James and his weird obsession with my godson.'"
"How could you say that?" Ginny demanded sharply. "Your father and I – our whole family – accepted you. Why would you even – "
"You must have forgotten for a reason!" James shouted. "I figured, when nobody reacted to Teddy snogging Victoire on the platform, was your way of ignoring our relationship! That you were glad that both of us were back to 'normal'."
Ginny opened her mouth to protest again, but James ignored her. "I thought you wanted this… your reason to ignore something that was so important to me…" he finished softly. Despite this all, James was glad for this conversation. Not because Victoire got hexed – though that did bring him a certain amount of satisfaction.
No, he was happy because for the first time in five months, he was finally talking to someone. He could actually vent his feelings about the situation. Unfortunately with the conversation brought back the all the old emotions, the one he had felt originally that day on the platform.
The familiar feelings of rage, heartbreak and regret ripped through him, fighting against each other and tearing him from inside out, each trying to gain control. James could do nothing to express his emotions, so he settled for an enraged cry that turned into a sob halfway through. He threw himself against the pillow, letting it soak up the few tears that escaped and hiding his face from his mom.
"Oh, James. Jamie I'm so sorry about all this." Ginny murmured, distressed. She ran a hand over his head, smoothing his hair down and tucking a strand behind his ear. "I can't say that enough, trust me. The only thing I can think of to make this better is to help you fix it."
"Do you know how?" Albus asked, torn between looking at James and making eye contact with his mom.
Ginny shook her head sadly, silently. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. James could feel her hand shaking as she ran it soothingly down his back.
"Wait!" his mom gasped. Her reaction had James lift his head up slightly to look at her. Ginny's eyes snapped open in sudden realization. "Yes, yes I've got it! I just remembered!" she bounced up and down, looking giddy. "The medi-witch at St. Mungo's offered me some advice on how to get Teddy's memory back, and they were going to help us start the method next week!"
"What is it?" James asked breathlessly, hardly daring to hope.
"Well, they had an idea. In order to help Teddy get his memory back, they want us to try showing him our memories. Dumbledore – er, McGonagall's pensieve would allow him to have sessions where he could get re-immersed in his past."
"Would it work?" Albus asked, awed by such a simple solution.
"It's not certain," Ginny admitted. "But it won't hurt him, and it's worth a shot."
"No."
"What?" Both Ginny and Al stared at James, shocked. "What do you mean no?"
James sat up, pulling his knees against his chest and wrapping his arms around himself. "I'm not going to do that to Teddy. Whether I like it or not, these past months have been his reality. I'm not, I won't shatter what he thinks his life is like. I refuse to be that selfish."
"But it's not his reality, James! The sooner he realizes that, the better. And it'll be faster to get him to adjust to what actually is real." Ginny explained.
"But he's happy, mum! You should see him, in the halls, with her. He's so sickeningly happy, so bloody damned happy…" tears burned his eyes. "He doesn't need me. And another thing, you said it yourself. This method isn't certain. There could be a chance that something goes wrong, or he won't want to believe it, or something. And if it does, it'll just hurt, even more than it does now."
For the next half hour, Al and Ginny pleaded with him to reconsider. Then, Ginny and Al took James to his own room and tried changing his mind again. James was stubbornly set on his decision, though. He refused to be swayed.
Eyeing him critically, Ginny sighed. "What makes you think that doing this is what is best for Teddy?"
"I think you're being selfish." Albus pronounced, lying back on the bed.
James glared at the both of them. "Think whatever you want, I don't agree with this."
"What is it you're really afraid of?" Ginny asked abruptly, taking a chance on a hunch.
Just as she suspected, James flinched. He lashed out immediately, not looking at his mom or sister.
"I've told you what my decision is!" James said sourly. "I would like you to respect it."
