'No Marina…that doesn't work either.'
'Well I can't be grateful Ayda! They're making me kill people to survive, I'm not overly happy about that!' I can't help the smile that plays on my lips, I look at Axel and notice the same smile on his.
'What are you two smirking about?' She snaps which only makes us smile wider.
'I think we may have found your angle.' Axel says.
'What bitchy?' Marina asks frowning.
'Exactly.' I breathe.
'Yeah isn't the whole idea of this to make people like me?' Marina says slowly; I nod. 'Well I don't think being a bitch about the whole thing is going to make them like me…'
'They'll be interested, maybe even amused and that's all we need.' Axel says, sitting down on the couch.
'Sweetie grateful hasn't worked; nor has funny, flirty, humble, sexy- even vulnerability has past you by being angry and slightly above it all may be the only way here.' I say softly trying to lighten the harshness of my words.
'So what you saying?'
'I'm saying that if you go with this you're a caged human in a shark tank that is filled with sharks, you go without and you're just a human in a shark tank that is filled with sharks- you know exactly what I'm saying.'
We are quiet for a few moments.
'Okay how about me and Axel run through some questions and you try and answer them bitchy like?'
'Fine.' She snaps, sitting down in the winged chair. I sit beside Axel and turn to face the chair as Axel speaks.
'So this must be quite different from Four?' Axel says with faked joy.
'Yeah.' Marina says.
'No. No. No.' I say.
'What was wrong?' Marina says her brow creasing.
'What was right?' Axel breathes.
'Okay new idea. How about I answer questions in a bitchy manner and you just take note?' I say rubbing my head where a headache is forming.
'Fine…' Marina breathes as me and her swap places.
'So Ayda this must be quite different from four?'
'Well obviously, now my life is counted in days and apparently, I'm supposed to happy about it!'
'Yes well…there must be something you like at least?'
'Oh the abundance of food is fantastic; you know people dying in the districts but at least I have a full stomach.'
'You look wonderful tonight, doesn't she folks…'
'Oh yes lovely, considering I'll probably be dead in a few days you should probably remember this dress.'
'Nice…' Axel murmurs.
'But won't they think I'm a total bitch?' Marina asks.
'Yes and that's the whole point.'
'So basically just say what I'm thinking?'
'Yes exactly because what can they do?' I say softly.
'Nothing, I'm already in their games.'
'Exactly.' Axel adds. 'Make sure you're remembered, whether it be something you say or the way you look.'
'The capital like anything new, anything gossip worthy.'
'Try and impress Kizzy, try and make Kizzy remember you.' Axel adds.
'Each person you impress adds another bar on your cage…and the sharks are going to be coming.' I breathe.
'There is twenty-four of us going in and only one comes out…'
'And?'
'And well the odds aren't in my favour!' She snaps.
'They aren't in anyone's.' Axel says, placing a hand on Marina's knee.
'Never have been…and probably never will be as long as the games goes on.'
'So why doesn't someone change them?' Marina says, her words are those that no-one ever says but in her position, she's free to say them.
'No-one knows how to.' Axel surprises me by answering- he's been bread in the Capital he should think and agree with the majority.
'But how?' Marina presses.
'Because there is still a lot of people who think this is a good idea.'
'Not in the districts.' Marina counters.
'One and two it's an honour to be reaped, majority are volunteers- and the Capital are vastly powerful Marina they have the ability to do mass killing, to take away what little people have in the districts…they could do what they did to thirteen for every district.' I say softly.
'But how would they survive?'
'By calculating it right; they may not bomb everywhere but they'll make it so people are so scared they won't even think of rebelling against them.'
'They'll secure their power through instilling fear in everyone, and then what is left?'
'Nothing.' I say, in answer to Axel's words.
'I wish we didn't do this, I wish it wasn't part of our healing but people here don't see it as real, they see it as a reality show and it isn't their fault as much as people don't believe it- they're conditioned by how its produced and how its showed- what they see is a performance with costumes, music and staging. They see Snow making speeches of how it's a good thing, they can't see the wrong because they aren't able to see it.'
'The games are awful Marina but winning them…I have to come back and see you all put back in there- that is how they instil fear, how they keep us in check because they don't let us forget it.'
'And for the capital its one big party.' Axel breathes.
The victory tour was coming to an end, the day dawned with bright skies and a drive around the Capital waving gaily at the people who'd crowded the streets. That night was the presidential party. As Kizzy had said, anyone who was anyone was going to be there dressed to impress and dressed to meet the new victor of The Hunger Games. Axel had commissioned a dress that hung in a way that gave me curves that didn't really exist and the make-up and hair all proved to highlight my dimples and high cheekbones but above everything my eyes which had weirdly become a fad in the Capital. I'd looked in the mirror and not really recognised the person looking back, I was more lean and better fed then I had ever been and well along with everything else I couldn't find the person I'd once been.
I'd walked into the maddest party I'd ever been at; firebreathers on the pillars, a magician on the door, trapeze artists hanging from the ceiling and a magnitude of people milling around in the huge rooms. The main room had been an abundance of what looked like a plush living area except it continued out into the grounds and people were milling about on top the grass and sitting near the ponds on intricately carved benches.
A man had come up to me, as Kizzy had grabbed my hand and pulled me forward.
'Oh dear aren't you just something!' He'd purred. 'A little fighter, the blood made everything so violent and vicious and your tears…best victor yet!' He'd prattled, making me want to punch him- my nails had dug into my hand as my hand had curled only Kizzy's grip stopped me as she's pulled me on.
That had been my night, they'd laughed about my face after I'd killed the one from five; my surprise as the cannon went off - how I'd been so in-captivating when I'd battled with Two at the end, how they'd been rooting for my victory and how they couldn't believe I'd not received a mark from the guy.
When the food had been served and they'd rushed to fill their plates, I'd sat by one of the ponds watching the mini aquarium feeling beyond homesick even though I didn't have anyone to go back to. I was already losing weight and glum, but that night had made me even more ready to return to some normality and to have the ability to properly mourn my parents. Axel had sat by me then, bringing a plate of food over; he'd sat having a one-way conversation with me for longer than I would have had the patience; until I'd thawed and smiled up at him; we'd danced on the floor- him teaching me one of the Capital's slow dances and then trying to teach me a jazzy one which had only led to him having a busted big toe and me breathless with laughter. They had aired it on TV, the dancing and laughing- people had apparently commented on the relationship between us but that was when I'd locked myself away.
'You just have to accept it Marina.' I say. 'It isn't going to change, not until there is something else entirely.'
'And that is yet to happen in 74 years…' Axel breathes.
'But it still could?' Marina questions.
'The chance is slim to none.' Axel answers.
'Even though people don't like it, one or two make no difference its only united that we can do anything.'
'She's right Marina, nothing is going to change; but anyway, we need to get you dressed and ready for this; sit!' He says standing from the couch and gesturing to the black leather chair that faces away from the mirror. I watch Axel's strong hands work away at Marina's thick hair- combing, conditioning, washing, drying, straightening, curling, crimping- until it has that styled professional look the capital all seemed to crave; which is seemly more gels and sprays then hair. He works her face with a multitude of palettes and bottles. Smearing this, powdering that. Her eyes wiped away and redrawn on, thick and heavy. Outlining her eyes in a deep black that is a heavy contrast to the aqua blue on her lids, that almost seems to glow. Her lashes long, with fake ones stuck in making her eyes the most prominent feature of her face. Highlighter strobes her face giving it depth and making her look so very much older than 16. Her nails are built up, and coloured a vivid blue that's almost as pale as the sky at midday.
The hour passes by, so does the next as Axel works with slow competent movements, not even calling for the prep team until the very end where he has then help her into her gown- careful of the intricate make-up job and extreme hair. I gasp as I look at Marina, her face and hair make her look like a new person; the dress hangs in a way that gives her curves and makes her look gorgeous. The feathers make all the difference, giving her the look of a majestic peacock- that's wise and powerful. As she stands on the raised platform I can't help but stare at her; as Axel attaches another headpiece and fusses with the thin gold bands that are stacked so they cover her wrist to elbow; and adds a selection of little gold rings some sit normally but some sit part-way down her tiny fingers; the gold pairs perfectly with her nails and if anything finishes her look. I almost forget and as Axel stands back to appraise Marina I go over to the high set draws in the corner of the room and pull out the little velvet box I'd put in there yesterday when I'd went through the bags I'd been given. I pass them to Axel who smiles softly, as he unclips the box.
'What are they?' Marina asks, eyeing the little box.
'A good luck charm.' I say, as Axel opens the box and removes the bright blue earrings.
'But…' Marina says touching her unpierced lobes.
'Clip-ons.' Axel breathes, moving a strand of curled hair to clip on the earring, where its sits gleaming even in the muted light.
'Thank you.' She murmurs, looking at me.
'You don't need to.' I say taking her hand and beaming.
'I do.'
'No you don't, now I have to change because you know they will look at us!' I laugh, as I wander into the little changing room we've concocted in the corner of Axel's remake room. I change into a pair of plain black slacks, and pop on the kitten soft sweater that Han gave me a couple of days back- the feathers hang gracefully around the top of my thighs.
'We're a team.' I say softly as I step out of the changing room and everyone stares.
'That we are.' Axel breathes, winding an arm around my waist, and kissing my cheek.
'Right.' I say wandering over to the mirror, and grabbing the brush from the table.
'Hey let me.' The male of the prep team says, I'm sure he's called Daw.
'Thank you.' I say passing him the brush, he with calm efficiently weaves my hair down my back pinning it into what looks like an intricate flower under my left ear.
'It's beautiful…' I whisper.
'Like you.' He says taking my hand and kissing it, I beam back as I inspect the flower again.
'We'll be out there the whole time.' Axel says, smiling at Marina, as he comes and adds a touch of powder to my otherwise untouched make-up job he did a few hours ago.
'Just be you, answer as if your talking to us- and I know how opinionated you are!' I smile, and see her own lips turn up.
'That's my girl!' Axel says, nodding his head at the two female preps who each take one of Marina's hands and help her step down from the platform.
'Just be you!' I urge as we hear a over-the-top knock at the door before Kizzy barges in.
'You will be…' She stops as she eyes Marina. 'Wow…that is stunning…' Marina smiles. 'How did you do that with the feathers, that dress is something else entirely!' She says turning to Axel who smiles awkwardly as I supress the urge to shout at her and Marina's brow creases.
'Its time, come!' She snaps at Marina, who looks like fish caught in a net.
'Be yourself!' I murmur.
'Don't panic, we'll make sure you can see us!' Axel adds as Marina is hurried along.
Both me and Axel share a long look, and sit down on the couch.
'Well…' He says.
'Exactly.' I agree, hoping Kizzy hasn't just destroyed all our work.
