Semper In Aeturnum

...

Deeks pushed himself through the dark water, pumping his legs to propel him forward until he needed to surface for a breath of air. When his head broke the surface, the morning sun was beginning to peak over the snow capped mountains in the distance. Rotating over onto his back, he relaxed, letting his body float along slowly as the cold crept into his bones.

It was refreshing and a bit disconcerting all at the same time.

The coolness of the water around him eased the burning that his morning swim had stirred in his muscles. His lungs took in the chilly air as he slipped along the calm surface of the large lake, nestled deep in some strange forest of large pines and scattered hard woods. Wherever he was, it was peaceful and calm. He could feel the stress and anxiety slipping from his mind as the water eased the ache in his body.

There came a shriek from high over head and Deeks paused to watch an eagle soaring through the morning sky that was a splendid explosion of oranges and pinks. It literally took his breath away; all the beauty of creation all around him and he was humbled at the incredible power of it all. He had seen many awesome examples of nature's unmatched splendor, but this morning was overwhelming them all.

He was at perfect peace, something that he had experienced only a few times in his life but this one felt different, like it was all building toward something ... well, something he really could not quantify in his thoughts. It was like he was being pulled toward a moment in time he could not see but could only sense its presence. Like a warm breeze on a summer day; you felt it but could not see what had just touched you.

Before his mind could begin to grasp the thought, a familiar voice called out to him.

"Deeks!"

He turned his gaze toward the sound, finding a lone figure walking toward him across a long wooden dock. The woman's form materialized out of the morning fog that was still floating along the edges of the lake, giving her an almost magical appearance.

"Morning Kens."

Kensi, dressed in a simple white robe, walked until she reached the edge of the platform then she stopped and dipped one toe into the mirror surface of the water. "Are you insane?! This water is freezing!"

"But it feels so good!" Deeks would have splashed her but she was too far away. "You should jump in."

"I'm not wearing my suit." She jammed her cold hands into the robe's pockets.

He waggled his eyebrows but she was too far away to see. "Neither am I!"

Kensi's laugh echoed across the water, sending a shiver of longing through his body. The moment was perfect and he wished he could freeze time and spend an eternity listening to the love of his life laugh like that. There were so many things about her that he loved and her snort/laugh was high on that list.

Her smile.

The one she only shared with him. The one she gave him right before she said "I love you". The one she had right after he had said the same to her.

Her eyes.

When they lit up when she saw him when she woke up in his arms. The ones that could convey so much without even needing words. Those mismatched orbs that could see right into his very soul.

Her hands.

So strong, yet so tender when they touched him. The ones that held him up, to be better than he was and the ones that pulled him from the mire when he was sinking into the abyss.

So many things about this woman who had stolen his heart when he wasn't even looking. She often asked him when the moment came that he knew he was in love with her and he struggled to give her an honest answer. It had felt like he was in the middle before he even knew it had began.

He could not remember not being in love with her.

Whether it was that day in that smelly MMA gym or the day he pulled her on top of his own body to escape an exploding room filled with lasers ... or ... the day he let her hold his gun ... when she said that he was the only one she trusted ... a night she asked him not to die on her ... a box sitting on a shelf ... a knife that was so much more than a knife ...

The more he tried to nail down a specific spot in their history together, the harder it became to pinpoint the exact moment. But it really did not matter, not since the day that she put that flash-bang grenade pin on his finger and they had began to become so much more than partners, friends and lovers.

All of these thoughts flashed through his mind and it shocked him at all the moments that they had shared in the short time that they had known each other. There were so many memories and yet so many that were left out, lost in the recesses of his mind.

If life could get any better than this, he could not imagine any greater happiness and contentment.

"How long have you been out here?" Kensi's question brought him back.

Deeks kicked his legs, wanting to draw closer to her before she slipped away. "Not too long. You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to wake you."

"Thanks babe." She stood from the water's edge, turning back toward the cabin that was now becoming visible at the edge of the trees. "Don't stay out too long ... the kids are trying to make your special honey-nut-chocolate chip pancakes and they need their daddy to help them out."

"Tell the little rag-muffins that I'll be right in." The faces of a little blonde-haired boy and his little sister, a smaller version of Kensi with dark curls, danced through his mind, warming his heart with a daddy's love.

She raised a hand and gave him a simple wave as she turned back toward the house.

Kensi had only taken a few steps when he felt the urge to call out to her.

"Kensi!"

She stopped and slowly turned. "Yeah babe?"

Deeks stopped swimming and began treading water. "I love you!"

Kensi laughed then responded just like he knew she would. "I love you too!"

The something that had been tugging at him, resumed its pull. Whatever was coming, was coming soon and Deeks had the sudden sensation that he did not have much time. He took a breath and called out even louder.

"You're my everything, babe!"

Now, Kensi had stopped walking along the dock, turning to face him but not moving any closer. "And you are mine!"

It wasn't enough and he pushed forward with his legs, but he did not move any closer. "Kens!"

"Deeks!" She had called back to him, but she sounded so far away ... and sad.

This was it, the moment that had been haunting him.

Summoning every ounce of strength he had, Deeks yelled out the only thing he could think of to comfort her.

"I choose you, Kensi ... I will always choose you!"

And the darkness that had been at the edge of his vision overcame him and he knew no more.

...

A/N: Semper In Aeturnum translates to "Always Forever".

Semper Fidelis

JS