Chapter 7
Author's Note: At last, folks, Chapter 7! Ha-ha! Thank you, thank you, for reading my story. Thank you, THANK YOU! And just a little overview, there would be some kind of a revelation in Neji's part here and a discussion between him and Hinata. Sorry for the sudden shift of POVs. This is gonna be a looong chapter. Please enjoy! XD
Friday, is one miserable day for Hinata. Since Monday, Gaara haven't talked to her and it kills her. It felt sad and bitter that you have a friend who's mad at you. It felt sad and bitter that you've got no one to talk to. It felt sad and bitter that you don't know for certain how long this separation would happen. And lastly, it felt sad and bitter that you lost your good friendship with a best friend over a stupid reason.
She wasn't mad at Neji, especially at Gaara. She was mad at herself for all the things that were happening to her. She was mad of the way things have turned out because of her decisions and preferences. As a final move, she posted the last stanza of her poem at Neji's locker. It was something like a farewell yet she have to admit that her special feelings for him weren't gone yet. There still was the burning desire, hope and the most painful of all, expectation. Why can't she learn? Why do same things happen?
Haven't she learned at all? That once you expected for something, you fantasize with hope and yearning.
The tendency is to look forward to it, once she have expected. But no one could escape reality until realizing how foolish it is to expect for that stupid fantasy to happen. How ridiculous of her to consider the fact of them ending up happily disregarding the boundaries—that they were cousins and secondly, his superiority and her inferiority. It's such a painful emotion of being embarrassed at her ego for ever having that way of thinking and behavior, trying hard to suit perfectly before his eyes. Hinata perfectly felt it a million times with Neji. Yet, no matter what she does, she knew nothing would work and that she was just making a false belief of the matter.
It was finally dismissal time and she needed to come home early. Tonight, the Hyuuga clan Reunion will be held. Her father instructed them to come home early to have sufficient time to prepare. She arrived at the school gates when one familiar man, a servant of their family, was there to meet her. Their limousine was parked outside. It was strange since the limousine was only for private, business use only.
"Ms. Hinata, your father wanted you to come home early and on time. He wanted you to be fetched."
She frowned questioningly. "What about Hanabi and Neji, are you also supposed to fetch them?"
The servant, still expressionless, retorted in a stoic manner, "Ms. Hanabi was already fetched and already at home while Mr. Neji is already waiting for you inside the limousine, Ms. Hinata."
She nodded as the servant led her to the limousine. He opened the door and let his mistress enter the vehicle.
Hinata sat down beside Neji who was looking sober there on his seat. She wondered if his waiting for her made him like that and she began to worry about it. She remained on her seat with bowed head and quiet as ever.
Neji was somewhat irritated that Hiashi wanted them to be fetched by the limousine. It sure did grabbed attention from some people. It intrigued them with stuff he didn't know why. It was just a limousine.
He entered the limo and waited for the other passenger.
After some time, he felt the door of the limousine open as the cool breeze coming outside somewhat gently caressed his skin. Then, he felt her presence, and the door closed with a thud. His heart leapt in a reason he didn't know or refused to know just as his mood turned serious and awkward. He can't face her. No, he can't, after the way he behaved towards her last Monday. It was so absurd. He, Hyuuga Neji, felt for once that he was jealous.
He was a bit certain that Hinata was not able to comprehend his behavior of suddenly going a bit extreme over her friend, Gaara. Hmm…
His thoughts halted when he felt the vehicle ran and the lingering sensation that he was just inches away from Hinata. He watched her at the corner of his eye; she gave a glimpse at him. He smiled at himself secretly still unsure why Hinata's special attention to him was giving him this certain feeling of, uh… insert appropriate word here describing this good feeling he had for her just after that revelation day.
Okay, that revelation day… that day when she revealed to him her real emotions, that day when he kissed her. Then, it was followed by that day when she overheard his phone conversation with Tenten.
Tenten…
Tenten, his almost best friend, confessed to him her real feelings. He just can't accept it. It would be his preference that they would stay friends and nothing more than it. He was quite shocked when he heard her saying those three words which he couldn't return. Darn. All these things were making him somewhat emotional already. But he has to be honest and this is the truth:
He, Hyuuga Neji, was starting to harbor some kind of special feelings for Hinata after that revelation event. He was badly intrigued by that mysterious gift giver and has fallen grateful for those presents. It wasn't true that he would seriously decline to that mysterious person. The truth, as he was thinking, was that he could give consideration if he wants to and yes, he wanted to. Then came the day when he finally discovered her.
Hyuuga Hinata, his cousin, what were they? No more than cousins with simple "talking relationship". He was shocked—shocked that she was that mysterious person, that she has obsession over him despite their blood bond.
He remembered their confrontation, that revelation day when she professed in front of him officially that it was her who gave him those gifts. He knew her but not that personally. At any rate, he could read those pale eyes painted with pure goodness, understanding and concern for everyone. But those pale gentle eyes were also marked with loneliness and frailty. They were just the same. The only difference was his façade, that strong wall masking his real personality. Since his father's death and his decision to shun any emotion which might indicate his weakness, he decided to cover into pretense.
But his pretension is currently struggling to stay put, it wanted to give up. No matter how he wanted it to remain, he knew it wouldn't last long any longer. Therefore, he was waiting for someone who would understand him. The one who possessed the caring heart and eyes full of passion with pure goodness, understanding and concern. One who he knew would be able to destroy the wall shunning him from reality. And he has found those characteristics by the person embodied by Hinata.
It was evening, in a high class villa with a mansion, swimming pool and luxurious greenhouse (with fountain) as an 'alternative' for a cottage, pond and mini park. People of different ages yet with same pale pearly eyes are gathered in this particular place. People talking of what has become of their lives since they have last met each other.
At the center table, the family host was seated there. The head of the main branch, Hyuuga Hiashi was at the main seat. Just then, he cleared his throat which quieted the entire clan for his major speech.
"I dearly welcome you all Hyuuga, for our once in a five-year clan reunion. May you all enjoy this one special night with all the members of our clan." He paused dramatically and glanced at his children. "But the success of this night won't be a complete success without the special help from my two daughters and nephew." He paused again and hissed at them at the corners of his mouth, "Stand up."
The three children stood up rather hesitantly, two (the eldest and the elder) which have fake smiles at the crowd. Hiashi continued, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you my two bright daughters, Hinata and Hanabi." Hinata winced at the word bright mentioned by his father. "I also present to you my nephew, the son of my departed brother, Neji." After this, the crowd applauded and finally the three of them sat down at their seats.
Hiashi's speech went some more. And when it was done, everybody went back to their business socializing with one another. The family host, only Hiashi rather, seemed to be pleased with how the reunion was going.
The party was getting boring for Hinata and Neji. They sat there like aliens observing the way how people live, chitchatting with the rest of the human civilization. It wasn't long when Hiashi instructed them into something which made being aliens better. "Hanabi, Hinata and Neji, socialize with our clan." To lead them, he straightened his formal coat and stood up. With this, there was nothing that could make the three disobey his order. They stood up and went away separately either hoping to escape or find people which they could be comfortable with.
Hanabi was able to find girls of her age and was currently happily chatting with them. Neji on the other hand was talking with a group of older people and by the looks of his face, it wasn't a good conversation. Hinata, the shy and quiet heiress, was feeling awkward with the rest of the society. She wasn't made for this kind of events. She was the listener of the crowd, goes with the flow, smiles at people and then sits in one corner. She was a boring company and to socialize with the society is suicide.
Alas, her looking for people who would accept her boring company seemed to be futile and so she went out at the greenhouse. The greenhouse was decorated with lots of bright lights making it appear like a dream garden. It was the perfect place for people who wanted to have moments of silence and time to think things over. But before going to such state, she observed how beautiful the place was decorated. She observed how the fountain showered the place with water reflecting a very faint rainbow illuminated by lots of bright lights in the surroundings. It would be a very good object for her next painting, she noted inside her brain.
After having a quite enough observation, she walked towards the fountain and laid down her hand over the flowing water from the fountain. She let the water run down her hand and feel its coldness numbing it. She stared at it thinking nothing; she just stared at it blankly. Then, she lifted her head only to see a silhouette of a person sitting at the bench not far from the fountain, the spot where she was standing. It was a silhouette of a long black-haired person she was very familiar of, that deep-natured soul whose features she have memorized. It was no more than Neji.
Hinata's mind battled whether to approach him or not. Her only options were either to go back at the party feeling alien looking for a company who would tolerate her listening skills or to spend that remaining time with Neji although it felt awkward and weird. It was not that hard decision since she favors the second option. Making up her mind, she walked towards him.
Neji disliked staying inside the on going party/reunion especially those who kept on asking him about his father. How insensitive of them. It wasn't because he hasn't moved on yet but since then, he tried avoiding the subject that's why it felt irritating when people question him about his father. He could no longer bear some of their questions that after answering some of them, he excused himself and went outside. He felt peaceful being alone, a time of contemplation.
He stayed at the bench not far from the fountain in the greenhouse and enjoyed his sentimental moments. It wasn't very long when at the corner of his eye, he saw Hinata near the fountain enjoying the dreamy sight made by the bright colorful lights which decorated the area. He saw that innocent child-like look in her eyes with her mouth slightly open breathing some remarks of amazement. He smiled genuinely for the first time that night, not that feigned grin he exhibited to the entire clan a while ago when Hiashi presented them to the crowd. She was so charming in that pose. How young and innocent. Yet, innocent she was, he knew how delicate and frail her dolly features were which needed cautious handling. At those thoughts he bowed his head but once in a while watched for his cousin's moves. When he sensed that she was coming near him, he pretended not to notice her and let her sit beside him.
Hinata sat beside him and remained silent for a while. She looked at her nails while formulating an interesting line to introduce a talk. But her thoughts were disregarded when her lips blurted out, "How come you aren't partying inside? I saw you talking with some of the visitors."
He snorted lightly and wrinkled his nose. He answered her, "They kept on asking me about Father, and I hate it."
"Oh," was just her tiny response and there ended the conversation Hinata attempted to keep. She was quieted by his response interpreting it as a sign that he did not want any long chats at the moment. He needed space, she thought and so she decided to go away from him but later on.
Neji thought that her silence was because of his rough answer so he tried to continue their little talk.
"What about you, how come you're here instead of partying with Hanabi's company?" He lifted his head and looked at her.
His sudden attention gave her cheeks a tinge of red. She smiled weakly at his question. "I found no one who could tolerate my boring nature."
He raised his eyebrows. "Your boring nature? How come you are seated next to me, does it mean that I can tolerate your boring nature?" Why do you have to be too hard on your self? He frowned at his thought.
Hinata was taken aback. What does his question mean? Was it an insult, a joke or something which meant to make her feel better? She could not understand him. Why can't he be nice to her, 'straight' nice to her for one moment? She did not utter any answer nor showed any expression.
"I mean to say, you are not boring." He moistened his lips and looked at her eyes quite intently. "By my statement I'm telling you that I tolerate no nonsense so if you are seated next to me right now and we're having a little chat, then I'm not bored with your company." In fact I needed one right now especially the one given by you.
She smiled a little and then stared again at the surroundings. Her lips formed a slight smile in awe and seemed to forget for once that Neji was next to her. Upon stepping back to reality, she reddened a little then avoided his gaze.
Cute. He thought when his cousin displayed that innocent pose again. He let her absorb the atmosphere of the beautiful environment and silence engulfed the space between them.
Neji broke the stillness of their night, "The poem…"
Hinata's eyes widened and this time, really avoided his gaze. She can't speak but forced her mouth to.
"W-what poem?"
"That last stanza you posted inside my locker." There. He brought it. He finally brought the subject he wanted to discuss once he had received it. The poem was some sort of a farewell… but he did not want to go yet.
"Ah, that…" How could she explain to him? Couldn't he understand that she was trying to avoid him after that incident with Gaara and Tenten? Was her poem hard to comprehend or Neji wanted something else to happen? "Uh, I… um… that phone call you had with Tenten…, and Gaara," She stopped. That would be it for now.
"Listen," Neji faced her and angled his body towards her for full attention. "Tenten and I, we have nothing… there is nothing between us." He stroked his silky hair. "She expressed her feelings for me which I can't return." He breathed. "And that thing you've heard, it was nothing."
Hinata was confused, very confused. Her eyes shifted, it didn't know where to look until it focused on the face in front of her. "Why? Why are you telling me these things?"
"It's because you've said goodbye when for me, it isn't over yet. In fact it is just the beginning." His thoughts raced and went back to those familiar verses she has presented him.
Sadly, my love for you is a tragedy…
Just please let me proceed to enjoy the false belief it is gonna be
Let me love you from afar where we'll both be free
"I don't understand." Hinata shook her head still confused.
Why can't you understand? He frowned in exasperation. This discussion was taking him lots of things he do not wanted to reveal.
"You do not understand? You do not understand that kiss I've given you? You do not understand why I acted stupidly when you've mentioned your boyfriend's name? You do not understand why I'm talking with you right now? You do not understand that I already like you?" His eyes widened in mixed emotions.
So that's it. Hinata wasn't expecting this, another revelation. He already likes her but she was still uncertain if she would believe him. He might be playing a new game. But if it was true, it's illegal and impossible. Remember, he was up and she was down. She bowed her head and gently shook it yet saying nothing.
"You don't believe me?" His eyes showed curiosity and concern. "Do you find it impossible?"
She nodded.
"Why?"
"Can't you see? Those poems I'm addressing you, those gifts hopefully I've offered you and this secret I concealed for a long time are all due to the fact that we can't be together, as I have believed."
"Was it because we're cousins? Look, if—"
"NO!" She said firmly and now facing him with courage to answer his demands. "Yes, we're cousins but I really don't care that much because if I did, if long ago I already did, my feelings for you won't reach obsession." Her face was now marked with indignation.
"What then?" He was becoming desperate, an answer: one thing he needed badly.
"It's because I am not worthy for someone as… someone like you. The great Hyuuga Neji everyone in school knows. And me, the weakling Hyuuga Hinata who lies before the shadows of her great cousin, admiring him from afar."
Neji could not believe it. It was a hundred and one percent assurances that he affected her greatly not only emotionally but also psychologically and intellectually. "That's just it?"
Hinata looked at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"
"Why do you have to lower your self because of me?"
She was at loss for words. Her last explanation might not be an answer to him but she tried. "It's a way, a way not for me to expect because it only brings me pain."
"I see that you've expected for something and right away concluded that things are going to end differently than how you saw it, right?"
This time, fresh tears sprang from her eyes as Neji's words cut her skin deeply though not due to pain but because it was a certified fact. "Yes," She muttered.
Neji smiled at her then brushed away her tears. His finger caused a hot sensation beneath her white skin sending her brain some impulses with mixed electricity. She stared back at him as he spoke, "Well, it turned out that your conclusion of your expectation is false."
"False?" Hinata blinked as some tears fell down from her eyes again. Eyes which produced more than enough saline liquid a Hyuuga eye could generate.
He nodded as his finger left her cheek for his hand made its way to hold hers. "See that your expectations are coming real."
She smiled but it was wiped away quickly with a thought. "But,"
"But what?"
"We're cousins. It's… incest." Her eyes displayed a trace of concern and anxiety. "I don't care what people are going to say about me but what about you?"
She cares for him, he noted. Truly, she was perfect for him. The one he was waiting for. "Me? Don't mind me. We'll be able to push through, I know. Plus, the clan and the rest of the world need not know."
It's going to be an illegal love. Hmm… Is there anything more exciting than doing something illegal? Crossing lines has its own thrill. Fighting against everyone is stimulating. He believed that they would be able to push through and therefore, she should also be. She has faith in him. Everything was almost settled when someone crossed her mind: Gaara. Her thoughts halted as he invaded her head.
Neji noticed his cousin's sudden silence. As if reading her mind, he asked her. "Are you thinking of your boyfriend?" His tone and mood differed.
"Gaara is not my boyfriend. He's just my best friend." She snapped, gently taking her hand away from his light grasp. "But, he isn't in favor of my feelings for you."
He grimaced. "Not in favor? Then maybe, he's in love with you."
"In love… with me? Come on, we're friends. It couldn't be." She shook her head firmly but something inside her subconsciously whispers that it might be true. She shrugged it off.
"Possible."
This time, she grabbed his hand in a very shy feminine manner. "Forget it."
He smiled and held her hand firmly and squeezed it, his gesture speaking the message, 'I won't let you go.' For the second time, he kissed her. First, he stroked her indigo hair then his lips reached for her forehead planting a kiss. A kiss which meant all million words he wanted to tell her, a kiss which marked their new warmer relationship. "That is for everything that you have given me or I've caused you: gifts, poems, hardships, yearnings and love."
Hinata giggled a little with what she received. Her efforts paid off.
"Neji, tell me… tell me what I want to hear." She smiled and edged her self near him for a closer distance and bond.
He looked at her intently straight in the eye conveying his whole emotion to her. "I love you." He breathed and stroked lovingly her hair once more.
Now, it was Hinata who initiated another action, what else but a kiss? Her lips met his which made him gasp. The opening it made let her enter and soon it locked as a sign of their sealed relationship.
When it was done, Hinata leaned her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. Everything in the setting was perfect. The fountain, the place, the bench, the lights, the moon and them—the protagonists, which made up the perfect scene and story they were sharing in.
Tonight was a night, both of them would never forget. Tonight is the night which started it all. Tonight, their love was shown. Tonight they hoped would never last at all.
"This is a good subject for a next poem." Hinata said.
Neji looked at her and smiled knowingly. "And to whom would it be addressed?"
"As usual, it would be addressed to you."
Wow! It was finally done. Thank you, thank you for reading my fic. Thank you for appreciating it. Thank you very much! I hope that you loved my fic and was able to tolerate its being too angst-y, drama-ful and at times crappy. Thank you. I love you all!
Forgive my grammar. It's terrible, I know.
