Author's Note: I would like to apologize in advance for the hate that I am going to receive for this chapter. Also, ignore the probably highly inaccurate medical terms and symptoms. I would also like to apologize for the extreme delay between updates. I am just a little college student trying to finish the semester so I don't have as much time to write this as I would like. Thanks to those who are reading and reviewing! Keep it up :)
Just A Dream
When Jane actually woke up from her deep, medically induced sleep she realized that what she had thought was reality was just a dream. There were a few things about her dream that were true. First, Jane was indeed shot, but not in the shoulder like her mind had dreamed. Instead, her pain was focused on her center. She was not sure where but she knew that it was below the chest and above the waist because everywhere else felt numb. The center of her torso, however, felt like there was an anvil sitting on top of her. The second aspect of her dream that had carried over to reality was that Dr. Maura Isles as indeed hunched over the hospital bed asleep. To realize this, Jane had to use every muscle in her neck to look up and around the room. A passing nurse noticed that Jane was awake and moving around and rushed into the room in a panic. Jane used all of her strength to lift an arm up to her own face and hold a single finger over her mouth, a silent message to the nurse to remain quiet so as to not disturb Maura. The nurse nodded and silently pulled a chair over to sit even with Jane towards to top of the bed. Jane went to speak but found that her dry throat and chest muscles would not allow it. Panic immediately set in as the detective realized she could not speak.
"Jane, it's okay" the nurse began, "You were shot on the scene" and suddenly the images were rushing through Jane's head faster than someone flipping through pictures in book. Her reality was mixed with the dreams that she had experienced and images of her dying on the street swirled with images of her kissing Maura in her dream. She was extremely confused but decided that listening to the nurse describe the events would most likely help her organize all the information in her brain.
"Jane, you took a bullet to the chest. The bullet went through your 5th left rib, and through your left lung. It was lodged right near your spine and the surgeons were able to extract it immediately and repair your injured lung. You were very lucky, Jane. Just a few inches over and that bullet would have destroyed your spinal cord paralyzing you from there down. But, your lung is still very weak and it is going to take some time for your lung to heal before you can breathe again on your own. And even then it's going to hurt. After recovery, you'll have to go to a few weeks of physical therapy in order to regain your core strength and rebuild and strengthen your lungs." The nurse whispered all of the information into Jane's ear so that Maura would not wake up and when she finished telling Jane all of the information, she began to check on the machines, Jane's stats, and then after scribbling something down she whispered to Jane that she would be back every hour to check on her. Until then, it would be best for Jane to rest.
After the nurse left, Jane wanted nothing more than to break down and cry her eyes out. But, she reasoned, that the sobbing would be loud and painful two things she wanted to avoid at all costs. Being her stubborn self, Jane opted not to try to go back to sleep. After looking at the calendar and clock on the far wall, Jane realized that she had been out for over 48 hours. She quickly looked down to Maura who looked like she had been awake for 48 hours straight. As much as Jane wanted Maura to wake up so that she could see that Jane was okay, she realized that disturbing her would be pointless since she could not speak anyway. Jane's stubborn desire to stay awake lasted about fifteen minutes. Her eyes were heavy and her brain was so confused. Every time she looked down at the sleeping Maura her mind filled with the image of the two women kissing each other sweetly. Jane was not sure how to feel about these images, her body was numb, but her brain was on fire switching between reasoning that these images of the doctor and detective sharing an intimate moment were the result of a drugs in her bloodstream, or that the moment was the climatic culmination of all of their flirty banter and extremely close friendship. Jane was not sure which option she wanted it to be. She closed her eyes again to try to see the image again but instead she fell into another sleep.
Forty-five minutes later, on perfect que, the nurse arrived and tapped Jane's shoulder lightly to wake her up. Jane's eyes fluttered open at the contact and she looked to see the nurse standing over her with a cup of water.
"Drink" she whispered still aware of the sound asleep medical examiner. Jane struggled to swallow the liquid and her face winced as she felt the water travel down her throat. She tried to groan but she did not make a sound. "Jane, I'm going to do some movement tests, okay? When you feel me touch somewhere just try to move that area for me okay?" Jane nodded slowly and watched as the nurse began with Jane's hands. Looking down at her scarred hands reminded her of the pain she felt when Hoyt lunged scalpels into her hands pinning her to the floor. Her hands tightened at the thought and the nurse noticed and smiled "Okay, hand movement looks good. Thanks, but next time let me touch it first okay?" Jane again nodded and the nurse traveled to Jane's feet where she gently tapped at the detective's big toe. Jane could only slightly feel the pressure through the blanket, but she did feel it so she tried desperately to wiggle her toes. They moved slightly back and forth successfully. The nurse scribbled something else down before returning to Jane's side and whispering "movement looks good so far. You're on a long road to recovery. You'll have a lot of major setbacks, you know this from the last time, but it's the small victories that you need to hold on to. keep them tight because each little victory will add up to the big grand prize- you walking out of these hospital doors on your last day of physical therapy and not having to come back. You're a good patient, Jane, but we would really prefer it if you stopped coming in through the ER doors with gaping holes through parts of your body. If you really want to visit, we have a main entrance." the nurse smiled and so did Jane. She reminded her that she would be back in an hour and then left the room.
Jane looked down to her feet where Maura's hunched body was leaning and she let out a soft snore. Jane smiled and decided that she no longer wanted to make Maura wait. She figured that if she were in her position, the roles reversed, she would want to be woken up the second that Maura did. How to do this? Jane wondered. She tried to make a coughing sound with her throat but failed miserably and the attempt sent a sharp pain through her chest. Jane realized that the medical examiner's elbow was near Jane's left foot. If Jane could just get her foot and ankle to turn enough, it might ruffle the blankets enough to wake up the medical examiner. So Jane tried, fruitlessly at first. The blanket was simply moving against Maura's elbow and it did not cause her to stir. Jane knew it would be hard and would probably cause her chest to rip open at the fresh seams and she would start bleeding everywhere. But, Jane decided, that letting Maura know that she was okay was worth the risk of a getting a few reddish-brown stains on the hospital gown.
Jane tucked her left arm under her behind and onto the back of her thigh. She gripped her own skin there and then tried with all of her strength to lift her left leg just high enough so that when it dropped back to the bed it would cause Maura to jump up. After a few seconds of struggling to lift her leg a few inches into the air, Jane reached the height and quickly moved her left hand out from underneath her leg therefore removing the support and causing her leg to fall with a decisive thug against the hospital bed. At the sound and feeling Maura shot up, sleep immediately disappearing from her eyes as she looked solemnly at the detective. The sight of Maura looking at her nearly killed Jane. Maura's eyes were deep red, sunken in, tired, and clearly had been over worked by Maura's tear ducts. Jane smiled at her flabbergasted friend and the foot of the bed. She wanted to say more, do more, but she just sat in the bed and curved her lips upwards at the medical examiner.
"Jane..." Maura whispered almost in disbelief.
Jane nodded and tears welled in her eyes and began to fall slowly down her face.
"Oh, Jane... Thank God you are awake. I thought I lost you." Maura began crying as well as she reached her hand towards Jane's. Maura stopped right before their hands were about to meet and looked up at Jane, a tear falling from her eye. "Is it okay if I- Will it hurt if I- Can I-" Maura's hand was moving back and forth just like her words and the detective could no longer stand it so she closed the distance and interlocked her hand with Maura's. At the contact, Maura reached her other hand over and held Jane's hand between her own.
"Jane, I am so glad you are okay. You really had me worried when you didn't show up for breakfast- Oh, breakfast. I completely forgot about all the food I had made you. It's still sitting out on the table for days now." Jane looked at her confused and Maura felt the need to clarify. "Jane, do you remember? You left early to go help out with the possible bank robbery and you promised me, you promised me that you would come back if I made you breakfast so I did. I made everything you asked for, even the freshly squeezed orange juice! And I waited, Jane. I waited hours for you to come back and you never did. And-And then I heard" Maura was beginning to sob "I heard you were shot and I left immediately to come here and haven't been back since." Maura finished and Jane could only smile and nod because she was completely incapable of anything else. Jane moved her fingers between Maura's and tightened her grip which made the medical examiner look up from the spot of the floor which she had suddenly been so interested in. Maura was looking directly into Jane's eyes now and Jane had a few stray tears falling down the side of her face. Maura watched as her facial muscles moved all about. Jane was trying to do something so Maura simply waited for the detective to do whatever it was that she was going to do. Maura looked up at Jane with sympathetic eyes and then noticed that Jane's mouth was moving slightly, but no sounds were coming out. She kept making the same movement over and over again. After squinting and focusing on the movements, Maura's best guess was that Jane was mouthing "I'm sorry, Maura" over and over again. And, as expected, the medical examiner's guess was right.
