Title: Bearing Blue

Chapter seven: When touch is like a tulip

AN: Hey everyone! Sorry this chapter took a little longer than the others. I'd been having some computer issues, but finally I was able to sort things out! This chapter, I think, had some of most drastic changes from the original, but I like it way again to my lovely loyal reviewers, as well as the few new ones who have popped up to give this story a second read! I hope you like it just as much as the first go round.

Oh, and if you haven't noticed, I upped to the rating to M this time because I'm no longer 13 and retarded, and I feel I can write sexual tension without sounding lame. lol. So people who like lemons, get all excited and everything! You never know when that sour, tangy goodness might come and greet you. Anyway, that's enough! Enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think!


It had been two weeks since the incident in the hall and any talk of childbearing. Soujirou's wounds had long since healed, but I did whatever I could to keep mine open.

My mouth stayed glued at every instance of contact, and I refused to meet his gaze. It was easier than before, I noted, because Soujirou seemed strangely resigned to the lack of attention. He'd become far more withdrawn, and the familiar feel of his body sliding into the futon late at night soon became a thing of the past. The distance between us increased, and as did my anger.

Soujirou prepared his own bath, as usual, but instead of eating whatever burnt breakfasts I'd prepared, he'd retreat to his study and do god knows what until I was finished in the kitchen. Only then would he venture out and prepare something for himself, usually after rewashing and clearing the area, first.

For that reason, it surprised me when I awoke that morning, to see Soujirou sitting at the table, picking at a piece of salted salmon with his chopsticks as he read the newspaper. I passed by cautiously; intent on not saying a word, but Soujirou seemed to have other intentions.

"Good morning, Kaoru-chan," his voice was soft as usual, but with a hint of something teasing. I refused to meet his eyes, but knew anyway that he was smiling.

"Kaoru?" He pressed.

I kept my back to Soujirou. It was bad enough he'd been the bigger person, and broken the silence between us, but the last thing I needed was him to see the flush of pink on my cheeks that had mysteriously turned up at the sound of his voice.

"Ah, I suppose it was very silly of me to think I was living with an adult. You're still very much a child."

I spun around as soon as I heard the biting comment and stared in disbelief. Soujirou, however, wasn't looking at me. His attention was back on the newspaper, and he was sipping idly on a cup of steaming tea. For a moment, I wondered how his calm, smirking face would look with the hot liquid dripping from scalded skin.

"Don't speak to me that way!" I shouted, unable to control the volume of my voice. Soujirou finally turned to look at me, smiling brightly.

"Don't speak to me that way," he mocked in a falsetto. "Don't demand things of me. Don't…love me."

I froze at the last mention, but Soujirou seemed unmoved.

"Men like you…" I started, and then shook my head. "I see you for who you are now, Soujirou Seta."

"Selfish, selfish." Soujirou took a bite of salmon and turned his attention back to the daily headline. For some reason, this infuriated me more than the biting sarcasm. It was one thing to verbally wound me, but another to pretend they were little more than a stain on the bottom of your shoe!

"How can you possibly label me selfish? I'm sorry I refused to sleep with you and carry your child for nine months so you can up and die the next day because you're a murderer!" I picked up the nearest thing to me, a block of tofu, and hurled it at his head.

At a speed I barely registered, Soujirou turned his head to the side and dodged the white, wet mass. Instead of striking his cheek as I'd planned, it soared through the air and tore a hole in the shoji as it made its way into the hall.

"Selfish and wasteful?" Soujirou chuckled, raising an eyebrow in my direction. "What would your parents th—

Before Soujirou could finish the sentence, I'd rushed across the living area and shoved him hard in the chest. His blue eyes went wide with genuine surprise, and hot tea went flying all over the tatami.

"Don't speak a word about my parents," I panted.

Our faces were so close, Soujirou's eyes blurred together into one startling blue mass, and I could feel his warm breath against my lips.

"And so…" Soujirou leaned in before I could react. "…temperamental."

The kiss was so soft; I barely registered it. That was, until Soujirou started in again. One hand poised to cradle my neck, he moved in, but I jerked back, flustered.

"I can't believe you'd even try!" I spluttered. I raised my hand to smack him across the face, but Soujirou didn't have to try hard to catch it.

While I fumed, he brushed my fingertips against his cheeks, then his soft, full lips. I wanted to puff out my cheeks in anger, but the moment Soujirou looked up at me through his lashes at me – those blue eyes sparkling with mischief, I forgot everything I'd wanted to say.

"How long will you huff and puff around the household?" his voice was serious, now. "I took the brunt of the argument and here you are acting as if I'm the one who's denied you something! Haven't I given you space? Treated you well?"

I let myself sink to my knees between Soujirou's parted thighs lowered my head. There was a fine line between hurt and irrational, and I'd crossed it days ago.

"You have," I whispered, and then shamefully began to recall the names I'd called him, the assumptions I'd made.

I opened my mouth to form some sort of apology, but Soujirou stood suddenly.

"I'll prepare something for your breakfast," he announced. "You're getting much too thin. It shows." Soujirou walked in front of me and paused, trying to get a better look at my face. I lifted it.

"I liked you much better when you had more meat on your bones," he teased, and I turned my face away, hot with blush.

"Maybe if I stay like this and starve myself…I won't be the perfect candidate for child rearing," I murmured under my breath. Soujirou shrugged.

"Do what you please," he seemed unmoved by my drama. Guiltily, I thought back to the sallow, desperate eyes I'd seen in the bathroom that night I'd sewn him up.

All I wanted was happiness; why was I so certain Soujirou wasn't entitled to the same?

I sat on the wet tatami as Soujirou busied himself in the kitchen, preparing rice, salmon and egg for me. I wanted to tell him that it was unnecessary, that I could do it on my own, but instead, I found myself staring. Peering intently at the way his eyes focused on the sizzling iron pans, the boiling water, the quickly crispening skin of fish and browning of egg. He made it look so easy.

"How did you learn to cook?" I blurted. Soujirou looked up at me from the eggs and then stirred them with the tip of his chopsticks.

"We once had a maid," he explained. "When I wasn't busying myself being a murderer, I watched her cook and though finding it quite strange, the young lady took pity and taught me what she knew."

I felt ashamed, 19 years old and unable to cook for my own husband. And what was my excuse? I grew up in a loving home, with a mother, a father and a doting Megumi.

Pathetic.

Disgraceful.

"Soujirou, I—

"—you must be hungry," Soujirou smiled at me and before I could protest, he was brining over a plate full of eggs, freshly cooked salmon, rice and miso. My mouth watered at the sight, but still, I felt unnerved.

"Let me apologize," I said firmly.

"Why?" Soujirou bent and picked up the spilled cup of tea, blotting at the dampened space with a dry rag. "Why apologize, Kaoru-chan? I've had time to think and… we can't help what we feel, now can we?"

"No," I thought of Soujirou's soft kiss and the intensity of the one before. "We can't."

Soujirou seemed to catch me thinking, and sat beside me with a heavy sigh. "I'm a man, Kaoru-chan, and I feel certain things for you I can't deny. But at the same time, I can't very well make you return those feelings, can I?"

His smile was accompanied by a little chuckle that made my heart ache. Was he really telling the truth, I wondered. Did he feel for me? In the way a husband feels for a wife?

"I couldn't boil water without burning the pot," I whispered.

Soujirou turned to face me, a curious smile on his lips. "Kaoru-chan?"

"That's only one of the million reasons why…I couldn't be a good mother."

"You're worried about being a good mother?" Soujirou's eyes searched mine intently.

"I couldn't be. I'm not good at motherly things. I couldn't prepare their lunches or keep my patience when they cry…" I shook my head, frustrated with myself. They were selfish, self-serving reasons, but I felt scared. Having children meant growing up, and I wasn't sure I was ready for that.

"-But what about when children aren't crying or making messes, Kaoru?" Soujirou's warm laugh brought me back to reality. "What about being there for their first smile, their first words, baby teeth falling out, fixing little cuts and scrapes and meaning the world to them?"

Listening to him talk was soothing – like cool water against my skin. Before I knew it, I'd leaned in and laid my head to rest on Soujirou's shoulder. I'd forgotten how much I'd begun to love his touch. His smell. His…everything.

"I suppose…" I suppressed my smile and looked down into my teacup. There was a single stalk standing upright in the clear, green fluid.

'Good luck omen,' I thought, wistfully.

I took a bite of egg and fingered the rim of the cup thoughtfully. Maybe the tea was right…and maybe Soujirou was too.

"I'd never considered myself to be a traditional man, and the last thing I wanted to do was make it seem as though I'd given you some sort of ultimatum." Soujirou smiled down at me as I started to sip the warm liquid.

'God, he can even make simple green tea taste incredible!'

"But I can't help myself around you, Kaoru-chan. You may see things differently, but you've affected my life in such a interesting way."

The cup quivered in my hands.

"Besides, I don't think I could live without your kisses," he whispered the last bit into my ear, and I nearly choked on the tea.

"Don't say things like that," I spluttered, but Soujirou just laughed and held me closer.

"What I mean to say is that…well…" he cupped my face in his hands, sending a tingling warmth radiating through my body. "All I need is you, Kaoru-chan. Besides, you cry and fuss quite a bit, anyway. Just like a child."

"Soujirou-sama!" I pushed from his arms, unable to fight the smile quickly encroaching upon my lips. I knew he hated the honorific, and felt comfortable falling back into the tease. I did my best to wriggle out of his lap, but Soujirou caught me swiftly around the waist, leaving me to scramble on my and knees. It wasn't anything close to dignified, but as we scuffled gently together, I was reminded of my younger days at the dojo, getting into squabbles with petulant little boys.

"Stop it! You're too heavy!" I spluttered out through a laugh that made Soujirou snort. I tried to shuffle my knees along the tatami, but with Soujirou's weight on top of me and the kimono restricting my moves, I didn't get very far.

"Where are you going, lover?" He chuckled into my ear, holding me close. "We haven't made up properly yet."

At the sound of the word "lover," I became all too aware of my racing heart and Soujirou's weight holding me in place. He grabbed playfully for my wrists, but all I could feel was his strong chest pressing into my back.

"Properly?" I asked. Before I could correct it, my voice came out sounding breathier than I'd wanted it to. Soujirou's body went tense and his breathing deepened.

I knew I should have made a move to pull away, but found myself frozen.

"This is..." I could practically feel Soujirou smiling against my ear. "Quite an odd position we've gotten ourselves into."

I swallowed hard and gave a little nod. Soujirou slid away from me as quickly as he'd come, and I relaxed onto the tatami, turning over on my back. Though Soujirou tried to joke away the tension, I couldn't stop thinking about the way his body had molded perfectly against mine.

'Mou…' I sighed, thinking. 'If I don't get a hold of myself, there really will be a baby coming!'

I couldn't stop the blush from setting my cheeks aflame, and Soujirou eyed me curiously.

"You look flushed," he touched my cheek. "Perhaps you'd like some more tea? Water, maybe?"

"Um…" I mumbled, unsure of myself. "I think that…I think actually, I'd like to take a bath. Yes, a bath."

Soujirou raised a brow, but then nodded before gathering my empty plate and heading for the kitchen.

What were we doing together, I wondered. The flirtatious touches, the kisses…they meant something, didn't they? I chewed my lip. I couldn't deny it – they certainly meant something to me. There was no way I could get that close to a man and not feel a stirring in my heart, no matter what he'd done over the years.

And yet, I worried.

Soujirou seemed heartfelt, but he was older- more experienced. What if he'd gone through the motions with a younger girl like me before? Maybe, to him it wasn't even about a child. But instead, sex. Something to take his mind off the situation he was in. A few quick rolls in the hay with a young girl who didn't know any better and let her mind drift away with thoughts of babies.

'Shut up!' I told myself, angrily. Week after week, Soujirou had been nothing but sweet and hospitable to me. He was trying to make things work, and if that was his goal, it would be mine as well.

Heart swelling with pride, I pulled back the wooden lid of the ofuro. The water was still hot, as usual, but clouded slightly with a familiar bath salt. As I inhaled, I took in the fresh, forest scent that was Soujirou. Though he usually bathed first, Soujirou always took care to drain, refill and rewarm the water afterward. It was a waste and contrary to the sharing most families did, but before that moment, I'd never seen what Soujirou and I had together as anything close to a family life. Two months ago I would have fumed and sulked, but now…

My body warmed. Soujirou had bathed first, and I would have the privilege of soaking in after him. To feel his very essence penetrate me…

'Oh stop it, you letch!' I shook my head to clear the pesky thoughts.

Smiling to myself, I hurried through scrubbing outside the bath and plunged with delight into the heated water. I could feel it hydrating my parched skin and easing stiffness from my joints.

"Kaoru-chan?"

Before I knew it, there was a knock at the door, and I shot up immediately in the water. What felt like mere minutes was sure to have been at least an hour, and I could see the skin on my hands pruning against the abuse.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Kaoru-chan, but we have visitors," Soujirou's smooth voice caused goose pimples to appear on my skin.

When I didn't answer right away, there was another, firmer knock.

"Kaoru-chan?" Soujirou's voice was full of laughter. "You haven't fallen asleep in there, have you?"

"N-no!" I covered my chest as I stepped out of the bath, even though I knew Soujirou couldn't see me through the frosted glass.

"You can never be serious, can you?" I ribbed him as I dried off as quickly as possible. I wasn't sure who he visitors were, but the last thing I wanted to do was cause Soujirou shame in my appearance.

"Believe me," Soujirou seemed to be closer to the door as he spoke. I paused in running a brush through my damp locks.

The way he spoke, there was something sinful in a tone like that.

"I can be quite serious when the situation calls for it," he said, easily, leaving me standing, staring into the mirror against the wall.

'Pervert.'

After donning a new kimono and a touch of blush to my cheeks, I met Soujirou in the living room. My hair was still damp and resting over my shoulders, but I had no time to wait anxiously for it to dry. As soon as I saw who the visitors were, however, I began to wish I had.

Misao, and Tomoe were seated in our living area while Soujirou and the husbands conversed idly, away from them. Upon seeing me, Soujirou smiled warmly and ushered me over.

Barely made up and still flushed from the overindulgent bath, I felt self-conscious under their gazes.

"Good afternoon, Himura-san, Shinomori-san." I bowed low and smiled politely, though fidgeting all the while. Soujirou put a hand on the small of my back, as if to ease my discomfort, and I went red.

"She really is as formal as you said," The taller one, Shinomori-san, remarked with a wry smile. The teasing made me even redder, and I was thankful to see the shorter redhead laugh to dispel some of the tension.

"Don't mind him, Kaoru-dono," his smile was warm and nonthreatening. "I'm the same. But regardless, you can certainly call me Kenshin…and this is Aoshi." He gestured back towards Shinomori-san.

Though I knew I most likely wouldn't take the advice, I smiled brightly and bowed again in thanks.

"Ah, Soujirou, what could you have done to deserve such a beauty?" Kenshin teased Soujirou, who, strangely enough, looked at little embarrassed.

"Oh you know me," He chuckled and gave my hand a squeeze. "Nothing good."

I imagined I was about as red as a tomato at that point.

"Well, I certainly wish you both much luck and fertility." Aoshi finally seemed to relax, and nodded in our direction.

"Thank you, Shinomori-san." I looked to Soujirou awkwardly, but he reassured me with another smile. Kenshin seemed to see the bit of uneasiness between us, and worked quickly once again to dispel it.

"Ah, you must want to see our wives! Please go ahead, Kaoru-dono." Kenshin nodded and waved me towards Tomoe and Misao.

Grateful for the distraction, I the two women with a polite smile, sucking in a deep breath to brace myself. It was at that moment, however, I noticed that Misao was pregnant. It had been a while since we'd last seen each other, and I couldn't get over how much more mature she seemed. With a little extra weight on her face and around the middle, her entire essence was warm and motherly.

'Was it that easy?' I wondered. 'Does it really come so easily?'

"Congratulations!" I clasped my hands together and put on my biggest smile. Though I knew the two couldn't stand me, I would do my best. For Soujirou.

"Thank you, Kaoru-chan," Misao rubbed her stomach in small, slow circles. "I think it'll be my first girl."

'My first girl…' I thought on the words as I offered her a pillow for comfort. Misao didn't look much older than I was, and already she had more than one child.

"We'll see in a few months," Misao added, shaking me from my daze. I nodded dumbly, and found Tomoe looking at me with kind eyes. It was shocking, to say the least.

"Kaoru …may we speak in private?" She asked quietly. Misao seemed determined as well, and I could only go along with the plan. Cautiously, I led them out to the garden and made sure I was able to keep an eye on Soujirou's back from the doorway. The more visible I was, the better, I thought.

"Kaoru," Tomoe broke the awkward silence. "We'd like to apologize for our behavior."

I was taken back by their simultaneous bows, Misao's a little clumsier with the extra weight around her tummy.

"Really?" I smiled.

"Of course!" Misao jumped in.

"We were far less than hospitable to you. We know personally how hard it is to live with a man you know little about, but at the same time, so arrogant to assume anything about your situation. At least Kenshin and I were childhood friends." Tomoe bowed her head in shame.

I took a seat in the grass, and though awkwardly, they both followed suit.

"And Aoshi and I at least had several weeks together before we wed," Misao covered my hand with hers. "You and Soujirou-san—"

"—It's…all right. All is forgiven," I drew away, embarrassed. I didn't need to be reminded of the unsavory terms of my marriage of Soujirou. Things were better now, and all I wanted was to move on.

"So…" Misao fidgeted and I could tell she had a question on the tip of her tongue. I sighed to myself and chuckled.

"So?" I pressed.

"How are you and things between you and Soujirou-san?" Tomoe decided to take charge, though Misao looked peeved. I could only imagine what the younger girl had planned on asking me.

I thought back to the terrible argument we'd had a week ago and the make up this morning. It was so strange how we'd come back into our own so quickly.

"Things are…nice," I said, and it made me smile to know it wasn't too much of a lie. Soujirou still went out at nights, but as long as I could block it from my mind – as long as he was present with his teasing laugh and smiling face every morning, things really were going just fine.

"And sexually?" Misao blurted. My eyes widened and I thought I might choke on my own saliva. Tomoe gave her sister a sharp rap on the head with her knuckles and scowled.

"Misao!" she hissed.

"Ow…" Misao nursed her sore head with both hands. "Oh come on, Tomoe-nee…you know you're curious as well!"

I looked to Tomoe with alarm, but she didn't return my gaze. Instead, her cheeks began to take on a deep, pink flush.

I clenched my fists in my lap and had to do my best to keep from letting my gaze wander to Soujirou's back again. If I did, I knew my uneasiness would only grow.

"Why…pray tell are you both so interested in a lewd thing like that?" I took on my most rigid tone.

'Lewd? Oh please! Like what you were thinking about in the bath earlier?' My thoughts nagged.

"It's not anything like that…" Misao spoke as her older sister continued to color. "It's just …people in the community are beginning to talk. You might think it early, but really, Kaoru-chan, most women are expecting their first child by this time. You and Soujirou-san have been together for months!" She exclaimed, but after a quick glare, lowered her voice.

"Sorry…I…" Misao started again, uneasy. "I realize it's a touchy subject, but you two come from such great wealth. Haven't you gotten used to all the watchful eyes?"

I lowered my head, thinking about the hushed whispers Soujirou and I would endure when we used to go out together. Even the simplest of errands would draw comments about my kimono choices, or lack of makeup and poise.

But now this? My intimate life with Soujirou was under scrutiny as wel?

"Even as a Kamiya I never endured this," I confessed. "Or maybe back then I was too consumed by childish things to worry."

Tomoe laid a hand to rest on top of mine and shifted closer.

"Kaoru-chan…forgive me for this insensitivity, but…is it that you're unable to conceive?"

Her hand tightened up around mine and when I looked into her eyes, I saw great warmth and care. It wasn't like one of the false pretenses I'd grown accustomed to from outsiders, or even close to the lying smile Soujirou's stepmother would put on when she came to visit him. For once, it was something real.

"No, it's not that," I admitted.

"Then…Soujirou-san?" Misao prodded. I could feel myself getting hot again, and couldn't stop the thought of Soujirou's body curled over mine from surfacing.

"No! I—I mean, I don't really know I...we—

"—Kaoru-chan!" Misao's eyes went wide as if she'd suddenly become enlightened. "Have you and Soujirou-san not…never…you two haven't—

I kept my head bowed low, and noticed Tomoe's hands begin to stroke at my forearms.

"Oh darling…" she chuckled. "However is this so? Soujirou seems like a passionate man…"

I could barely restrain a yelp. "Soujirou" and "passionate" in the same sentence didn't exactly make for good daytime thoughts.

"But it's been months!" Misao exclaimed again, and I had to resist the urge to put her into a choke hold. From the house, I caught Soujirou give me a smile over his shoulder, and quickly hid my face.

"Soujirou is a man and I'm sure he has those interests, but…" I turned my nose up to hide my embarrassment.

"So you're denying him?" Tomoe took my chin between her thumb and forefinger, then tilted my face down to hers. "Why? Because you're scared?"

I didn't respond.

"We've all been at this point, Kaoru-chan, but what you're doing…it can ruin a marriage."

I grimaced and felt like turning away completely. So that was it? It all came back down to duty?

"Why? Because I won't lie on my back and let him use me?" I spat. Misao gasped.

"Is that really what you see it as?" she stared at me in disbelief, and for once I didn't have an answer.

"Sweet child…" Tomoe's smile was warm again, totally disarming, the way Kenshin's had been in the sitting area. They were made for each other I thought.

"Silly child…" she continued. "Making love is as essential to a marriage as conversation, patience and understanding. It's not about taking and using, but giving."

"Giving…?" I thought of the trip I'd taken with Soujirou to the market so long ago and his talk of rosebushes.

"Don't be afraid, Kaoru-chan." Misao moved closer and hugged me close. I could feel her tummy pressing against my side, and the sheer warmth made me want to cry.

As if on its own accord, my hand slipped out from between them and moved toward her stomach. Misao caught sight and placed it there herself.

"Soon, Soujirou could give to you something as beautiful as this," she grinned.

"But...but…" my breath began to come in quick, startled pants. "But what if I don't wan—

Tomoe covered my trembling lips with a finger.

"Love comes first," she said simply. "Whatever happens, love comes first."

I let myself relax in her arms, and into a hug. For a moment, it was if I had my mother back. Sweet-smelling, sweet-tempered mother with the advice you never wanted, but always needed.

"Thank you," I managed. "Thank you."


"I see Misao and Tomoe were respectable to you today." I watched Soujirou smile as he as he prepared the futon for bed. It was another thing I should have been doing, but at the same time, would never protest about. The whole day had been very exhausting, and if he wanted to continue to pamper me, the last thing I wanted to do was resist.

"They were," I couldn't help but blush as I thought back to our discussion, and I was glad to know Soujirou wouldn't be able to make it out in the dim lighting.

"They actually apologized for their behavior," I pulled my hair into a hand and smiled as Soujirou raised his brows. He seemed just as surprised as I'd been.

"That's lovely. You'll be in peace for a while." He smirked through a yawn, and made a stretch towards the ceiling. It was oddly boyish, I thought, and couldn't help but find the action charming. Soujirou ruffled his hair a little and waited for me to slide into the futon first.

It was then, I noticed something.

"Something wrong?" Soujirou furrowed his brow and did a sweep across the room with his gaze, intent on finding some disturbance.

"Um no I…" I cursed myself for stammering. "I just noticed that…that tonight well…"

"Hm?" Soujirou really did seem confused.

"It's the first time we've been to bed together at the same time," the rest of my statement came out in a rush, and I looked to Soujirou for a reaction.

He tilted his head down with a chuckle. "You're right. I suppose it's a little sad, but…you're right."

I didn't ask why Soujioru didn't seem to have a job that night, and he offered nothing up about it.

"Let's make the best of it, hmm?" Soujioru smiled, and seemed genuinely unaware of the implication.

"Y-yes." I slid under the soft sheets, but instead of turning around to let my back face Soujirou as usual, remained still.

"Kaoru-chan?" Soujirou tucked himself in beside me and leaned in close to inspect my face. "Are you sure everything's all right?"

His hand cupped my cheek, and I closed my eyes, focusing on the warm, rough callous of his fingertips combined with such a gentle touch.

Would it really be so bad…if he touched me like that all over?

"Kaoru?"

I became aware of myself and flushed.

"No, I just wanted to say…wanted to say…. " I took a deep breath. "Your kisses. I feel the same about your kisses."

Soujirou smiled again, but this time in confusion.

"Today. Earlier, I mean, you said you couldn't live without my kisses and…" Boldly, I slipped a shaking hand between us, and under the fold of his gi.

"I feel the same," I said.

I could feel Soujirou's warm skin and the beating of his heart beneath my palm. Tomoe said that when the time was right, it was important to be sweet and encouraging if Soujirou responded to me lustfully, but for some reason, this wasn't the same. I wasn't sure what the right time would be, and Soujioru wasn't responding in any way at all.

"I'm…glad." Smiling, he removed my hand and kissed the fingertips before laying it to rest back at my side.

I felt oddly rejected, but steeled my reserve and tried again. Maybe…maybe he didn't understand?

"Souji?" I moved closer so that he could feel my breath on his cheek. Soujirou kept his eyes closed, but made a low, "hm?" noise in his throat.

"Well, I…I wanted to say that well, in addition to that I…I... Um, you can…" Unsure of how to finish, I tried again with my hand. This time, a little lower.

"Kaoru-chan!"

The way Soujirou said my name made my heart race. His voice sounded so husky, so masculine, it reminded me of the first time we'd kissed. Really kissed. He'd held me close in that same way and I'd felt…

"Mmm?" My response came out as more of a moan than anything, and I heard Soujirou's sharp intake of breath.

"For the love of God…" he buried his face in my neck, then my hair, breathing deep. "Go…" he nipped the lobe of my ear with his teeth and chuckled, low. "…to sleep."


AN: Souji's so good with restraint. lol! ;p