Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.
The pairings introduced right now:
Anzu/Yami no Yuugi
Seto/Yuugi
Jounounchi/Mai
The crushes introduced right now:
Ryou/Seto
Thanks to Relinquished for beta reading this chapter!
Chapter de Seventh: Dropped
I remember when my father brought an entire gallon of pineapple sherbet. It was the most terrible thing I'd ever tasted. Whenever I felt angry with others, or was selfishly depressed, I used to force myself to three large scoops, thinking about how I could change my wrongs while I ate. My father hated the stuff and never bought it again, but I did when we ran out. (A)
Up until last night, I had an entire quart, untouched, in the freezer.
Yes, I ate the stuff. I ate it and tried to convince myself I was an idiot to try and fall for Kaiba Seto like that.
I'd like to say it worked, but I'm afraid the affect is only temporary.
"Bakura, are you sure you aren't sick or anything?" Yuugi asks, as we wait for the teacher to come back to the class.
"Yes, I'm fine," I mutter. I lie.
Who felt comfortable after an entire quart of fat-free pineapple sherbet?
"Class, sit down and get quiet," Ms. Teacher Lady yells. She's looking at me and what is really being said is 'Why are you here still, can you ever be stupid enough to try and run away, so I can chew you out for something, Baka Bakura?'
Baka Bakura. It has a ring to it.
"We will end the class with a question and answer session," she informs us. She turns to me and I know who's going first.
"Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. Finish the line, Bakura-san."
I don't look up at her; I just try to recall what my homework has said about this.
"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." I sigh, not interested. It is a tale by an idiot? Wow, where's the registry for that job? I think I'm more than qualified.
A few kids laugh at my careless manner and uncharacteristic attempt and success at the correct answer.
The teacher watches me warily. She's used to me gaping like a fool, but I don't feel like I care for that façade this second. Her eyebrows are in her hairline now and I can no longer see them. It'd be funny, if I cared. Suddenly I find I don't.
The teacher takes a breath and prepares to fire another question.
"What city was where is now Tokyo?"
I start to draw a picture in my notebook as though I'm not listening, and I really wish I weren't, but I am.
"Edo," I mutter as I write it down as well.
If I keep this up, I think the teacher might die. She looks close to it.
"Thank you—Bakura—correct," she replies haltingly. "Otogi, in 1804, who became emperor of France?"
Otogi is staring at me in shock. I just keep drawing in the notebook. He's so surprised he ignores the teacher.
"Otogi, answer the question!" the woman snaps. He straightens and gives the answer, turning to me again. When the bell rings, he finally speaks while the class exits.
"Bakura, is something wrong?" he asks. I hurry out before he can get an answer.
I'm the first to leave the room.
Quickly, I rush to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall. Some other people come in, but I don't leave, I stay there, watching the pale blue, tinted wall with the most vulgar words written over it.
After a few minutes, all traffic stops and the restroom is silent, empty. This is when I decide it's okay to leave. The clock says the time plainly and I know, in thirty minutes, chess club will be out. They are the only other students in this level of the school now.
My reflection crosses the stalls slowly and turns around. I observe it slightly before I run to a toilet and lean over.
I throw up into the basin. I gag, sputter and watch the pale yellow stuff come up. I taste pineapple sherbet the other way out.
This is just too disgusting.
"Hello?" a voice asks. I'm too busy trying not to die to answer. Quickly, the kid who gave me Kaiba's first invite to a job offer pops up out of nowhere.
"You're Bakura, right?" he asks. I turn and nod, feeling lighter in the stomach that I did a few minutes ago. It feels like I could float away.
He nods and runs out. I hear him call 'I found him' to somebody.
"Bakura?" three familiar voices all ask, at three different times, coming in. I kick the door closed and lock it, trembling with illness, even though my book bag is still by the sink. I'm not letting Yuugi, Otogi, or Kaiba in.
"Bakura, are you okay, man?" Otogi asks, running up to the door and trying to push it open.
"Do you mind?" I try to yell. It comes out a weak, wobbling pine of sorts, instead.
"You don't sound too good. Let us in," he orders.
I shake my head furiously, before I realize he can't see this.
"No," I squeak. I'm shocked at how terrified my voice sounds. I guess I am scared, but if Yuugi and Kaiba leave, I'll be okay.
"Bakura, are you ill? Do we need to take you to the doctor?" I hear Yuugi ask.
I'm silent. I think I got myself sick with that sherbet. I shouldn't have consumed an entire quart, I guess. Well, I'll get over it if they just leave.
"Bakura, if you don't give us a reason to leave you here, I'm coming and dragging you out!" Otogi threatens from the other side of the door. I step back slightly, wondering what he might do.
Before I know what's happening, someone has my foot and pulls me quickly under the door, like in one of those terrible horror movies. I imagine a monster attacking me any second now.
Oh wait, it already is. I call the monster myself.
I look up at the angry Otogi and worried Yuugi. I avoid Kaiba.
"What is your problem these days, Bakura?" Otogi growls. I blink up at him. I'm about to answer, when there's a familiar gag in my throat. I run to another empty stall and toss up even more of the frozen pineapple sorbet. Otogi stays close behind and holds my long hair out of the way.
"Disgusting," I hear Kaiba mutter.
Kaiba's heartless remark drops a wave of depression over me and I feel very weak. I can't help but realize that I'll having trouble and he does not care, that he's only present because this is where his boyfriend happens to be. I want to scream at him that he's a moronic bastard who needs to start caring about the rest of the world if he wants to keep Yuugi. I want to slap his smug, stuck-up face and let him know that Yuugi will not take that harsh behavior of his. I'd tell him this is how Yuugi and I are, in the most way, different. I can usually take cold remarks without rebuttal, but Yuugi has substance and will stand up fro himself.
If Kaiba can't realize this or can't accept it, he'll be leading himself to chaos. I can see it now, and if I were brave enough, I could warn him, but now I'm scared I'll only end up covering his clean uniform with vomit. I start to cry for apparently no reason, as I kneel before the toilet, like it's some kind of shrine I must bow to and offer regurgitated sorbet. Otogi still has my hair and I can't escape. I have trouble breathing as tears roll down my face.
I don't know why having this fit. It isn't me to break down completely, especially in front of Yuugi. I'm quiet, but I have the small strength to not cry about what I don't get. Yuugi cries, Jounouchi cries, even Otogi (believe me, I saw it); but Ryou Bakura doesn't. Bakura is too far-gone for that breed of emotional display.
I'll cry to get Jounouchi to put me down, but all that is just tears. Not actual moans and convulsions, brought on by anger and/or sorrow, by extreme pain in any emotion, even joy.
Not so now. Otogi is frighteningly quiet and Yuugi follows suit. They just watch, like this is some strange dream that will be over in a few minutes. I hope it is-like a nightmare I can wake up from. But now, I'm so sad, I can't really expound upon the idea that all this isn't happening. The people around me are suddenly very unreal.
Otogi pulls me back from the stall, but I don't care. I haven't cried in so long, I don't think I'd be able to stop anytime soon. The last time I really had had a great emotional fit was (and still is for now) the most horrible time in my life. It was after my father told me, two years afterwards, that my mother was dead. I didn't see why he'd taken so long to tell me. Two years! I don't remember how long I was in tears. He gave me the Sennen Ring as a fatherly gesture. That went straight downhill. Everything fell apart and I was forced to stay in the terrible country of my birth and family origin. I still moved around with little freedom, till I was finally planted down into Domino, far enough from all my relatives on both sides to be over-looked by everyone. I haven't gone anywhere else from here yet, and I don't think I really want to because nowhere else is any better.
However, seeing how everything is falling apart, I may have to leave and make a new identity somewhere else, like when my other attacked my old acquaintances and I had to move away because they all had restraining orders.
"Breathe, Bakura, calm down. It's okay," Otogi mutters nervously. He's trying to comfort me, but it's not working. There's a roar in my ears that keeps most sound out.
"What's wrong with him?" I hear Kaiba ask Yuugi, like I'm some plot point in a movie he's not paying enough attention to because it's boring and confusing and a waste of Hollywood.
"I don't know," I hear Yuugi sigh as Kaiba rubs his back automatically in a sort of posessive 'this is my mine' gesture that's not at all connect with what is going on. I wonder if Kaiba even cares to catch up on the great emotional saga and struggle that is the life of Ryou Bakura.
"I don't know what to do," I hear Otogi muse to Yuugi; just stroking my hair solemnly as if that will work. I listen to them all just talk. It's as if I'm not really the baby here crying; but rather I'm just being invisible and observing them gather around someone who happens to look like me breaking down pathetically.
Indeed, it looks like everything is falling apart, so why don't I join the fun?
I tear longer with no signs of stopping. Finally, Kaiba sighs and positions himself before me, crouching on the balls of his feet.
"Bakura, nothing's wrong, it's okay. Why do are you so frustrated?" he asks and I can't help but wonder if he sounds slightly annoyed and bored with all of this.
I look down and try not to start bawling like a sick cow. My breathing is heavy and I can't make the tears stop, but otherwise I'm relatively silent. I'm just hyperventilating and getting worked up over everything. I once again feel like crawling into a private little corner and curling up into the fetal position, rocking back and forth over and over.
"It's okay, Bakura, you're just a little tense, a little unorganized. There's nothing to cry about." He informs me.
"Look at me," I'm commanded, which alarms me because a part of me is convinced you don't yell at someone who is obviously upset. I only comply because I think Kaiba is angry with me for upsetting Yuugi. I look up to glaze right into Kaiba's emotionless eyes while Otogi just absentmindedly strokes my hair.
"Stop overexciting yourself, nothing's going to happen to you," he orders. His eyes are still hard and resolve and I'm convinced he's only solving my problem to calm Yuugi down. That's the reasonable answer.
Of course, when was I ever reasonable?
Still, I can't help but try to relax. Maybe once this stunt wins Yuugi over for Kaiba I can kill myself sans the Motou's concern? In enough time, my breaths regulate to an almost decent speed. Kaiba nods at his accomplishment and gets up, turning to Yuugi.
"There, Bakura's okay now," he informs him softly. Yuugi nods in awe at his boyfriend, the Bakura Whisperer. I just close my eyes and try to concentrate on Otogi's hands brushing through my hair soothingly. I rise shaking and walk to the sink, wetting my face with cold water and washing the rotten pineapple taste from my mouth.
"Are you going to be all right?" Yuugi asks.
I nod distantly, avoiding Kaiba's glaze again. I watch them as they leave silently.
"I uh, I never knew you still cried, Bakura," Otogi remarks lamely. He's actually seen me break out into tears twice, but I stopped all that a long time ago.
"I'm human," I breathe quietly, studying my reflection.
"I should have known right off in class," he smirks, "You forgot to remember you didn't know the answer."
"Did I?" I reply lazily. My head feels heavy now in contrast to my light stomach.
"Yeah, I think the teacher killed herself," Otogi informs me.
"Really?" I sigh at my image with an airy note in my voice, masking a frustrated gag of tears with a pleasant trill.
"Maybe you could do that to the next one?" he suggests. "Until the school system gives up on our class entirely and sets us free."
"I'll consider it," I say with a poorly placed smirk. Otogi pretends to believe it.
Two Days Later
I wonder what I'd do with money, lots of money. Would I buy my sanity back? Could I buy my sanity back?
"What the hell is this?" Otogi asks with a laugh, grabbing a piece of paper from my piles of junk. It's a picture of the park, the one I drew for Kaiba.
"A map," I inform him.
"Of what exactly, a portion of Mars?" he asks, turning it around.
"It's the park, you're reading it upside down," I correct, snatching the paper and turning it over, "See, by the water fountain."
"That whale is a water fountain?" he asks in shock.
"So questions the clown who can't tell mannequins from famous statues," I muse.
"Hey, some mannequins are too human to not be works of art."
"Whatever you say…" I trail off skeptically.
"I say a lot."
"Ugh. Believe me, I know," I reply, furrowing my brow.
I pull up more garbage as I try to find my dropped change. Otogi has been over for hours, watching TV and getting in the way. He says he's trying to keep me from doing anything to myself. I told him if he keeps up the annoying narrative to my every move and sigh, my state will be the least of his worries. This, like always, only made him laugh.
And I just dropped some money into the couch cushion, well—Otogi just knocked some money into the cushions. I'm trying to locate it all now. The peanut gallery isn't really helping me with its frustrating little comments.
"I think your hard cash has gone to hell," he says. As wonderful as his opinion is, I find I'm not caring.
"Oooh, what's this?" he asks, grabbing another document, "Dear diary," he mocks and I glare at him.
I've never owned a diary. I hate writing about myself.
Otogi skims the paper as I move over more junk to reach the second cushion. I don't know how my apartment got so messy, but I think I'll just blame it on a certain frequent houseguest.
"What's this about the aquarium?" he asks.
"It's a date me and—me and Kaiba set up. Yuugi likes the whales," I explain. It was, in fact, the last thing we ever talked about. It was before the kiss after the concert. He was supposed to have done that at the aquarium. Everything was on paper.
"Oh," Otogi replies shortly, trying not to bring around the subject of Kaiba again, at which I am quite glad.
"Did you know, Jounouchi asked Mai out a few days ago after you yelled at him?" Otogi asks and informs, putting the paper down.
I turn to him surprised, lost change forgotten. Jounouchi asked his longest crush (what has it been-one year?) out finally? I had no idea. I mean, even when Jounouchi was interested in me, he still seemed obsessed with Mai.
"Did she agree?" I ask.
"Yep, they're dating, believe it or not," Otogi replies smugly at my shock.
"I guess there goes my last admirer," I sigh sarcastically at the loss that affects me less than any other.
"Don't worry, I'm still single," he jokes, raising he eyebrows suggestively.
"Yes, and you're going to be for a long, long time if you live in my apartment," I inform him, diving for money in the couch again, "It's cursed, you know."
"You don't say?" he asks, looking around in false awe.
"No, Otogi, I know," I say, putting the cushion back to were it belonged and sitting down again with a sigh.
"What's the matter Bakura, you sound tense. What were you looking for anyway?" he asks at my frustration in my inability to find the change.
"I can't find my money you so rudely knocked into the couch," I scowl slightly.
"You mean this money?"' he offers, holding it up for me to see.
"I going to kill you," I growl and jump at for the money. He dodges my attack and leaps across the room at what should be an impossible speed. Foolishly, he runs to the kitchen and I wait.
"OH MY GOD!" he screams and runs out while I catch up. I observe the lobster that has clamped his claw onto Otogi's shirt.
If you don't know, there is a very hilarious point here. Otogi is terrified of bugs and small crustaceans. The lobster on him right now is the thing of nightmares. I'm watching as he panics and runs around the room.
"Get it off me, Bakura!" he orders, trying to wrench it from his shirt. The creature is too strong.
"Give me my money back and I'll consider it," I inform him, watching the lobster snap his free claw at Otogi's hands.
Otogi roars at the lobster and takes the entire shirt off to get it away. The lobster's free claw snaps to his pocket as the other releases and hooks the lose belt.
I can't help but laugh. I wonder how desperate Otogi wants the lobster gone.
"Oh god no. You come get your pet off me, Bakura," he orders, not thrilled at where this might be going if he tries to take his pants off as well. I'm too far-gone laughing to care.
"Bakura, I'm begging you, get it off," he pleads while I try to calm down, "Here's you're money, now get it off, please."
I nod and get up. Otogi settles timidly on the couch, being careful not to vex the lobster. I walk over to where he is. The lobster looks at me and waves its antenna; smacking Otogi in the stomach. He glares at it and growls slightly. The lobster smacks him again.
"Stop it," he scowls at the irritation. I kneel down, leaning over the animal and observe the claws, slowly prying the one on his pocket off. Otogi moves slightly in his impatience.
"Stop twitching and hold still or you'll get hurt," I order as the lobster allows me to free one of its holds.
"How's it gonna hurt me?" the dice obsessed victim taunts the creature.
"It can always go for the crotch," I hint. Otogi pales and shuts up, trying very hard to sit back and relax.
I can't say it's very easy, as there's a lobster on his ass.
Slowly I clasp the second claw on his belt buckle. The lobster isn't so willing to let go this time.
"Why won't it come off?" he asks, some humorous fear in his tone.
"I think it doesn't want to," I grunt, trying to pull the clamps apart.
"Pull harder," he orders.
"I'm going as fast as I can!"
"So? I want it off today!" he barks and I glare at him threateningly, holding up the first claw, which snaps at him effectively.
"You wouldn't," he growls in shock.
"I could, but I'm a nice guy," I inform him.
"I'd be nicer if you would hurry up."
"Bakura? Otogi?" a voice asks as I get the claw off the belt. I look up to see a very confused Yuugi. I turn back to Otogi and blink.
"Oh!" I yell, jumping back, "It's not what it looks like!"
Otogi does likewise with a similar excuse.
"What are you two doing?" Yuugi asks in shock.
"It's not what you think, he was just getting that insect off my pants," Otogi answers while 'that insect' starts snapping at him.
Yuugi nods slowly, still looking a bit visually violated.
"It looked like-like you were…" He trails off. Otogi starts to laugh.
Naturally I blush and shut up, holding the lobster's claws closed. Now that I consider what Yuugi saw from the doorway, I feel very embarrassed he thought such a thing.
"It's just, Otogi was sitting down and Bakura was leaning, oh God!" he squeaks and runs to the bathroom. I think he's going to try and pry his eyes out.
"You gotta admit, that was pretty funny," Otogi remarks as Yuugi disappears.
I glare at him. Not so funny as it was embarrassing for me, thank you.
"Don't you two ever do that to me again!" Yuugi announces as he comes back.
"Sorry," I apologize while Otogi tries to find where he threw his shirt, laughing like he just got off Ritalin.
"So, why did you come over, besides to see if me and Bakura were getting it on?" I hear Otogi ask as Yuugi sits down.
"I came over to see Bakura; I need to talk," he informs me.
"Really? Why does everyone talk to Bakura? What's he charging?" Otogi asks. Yuugi and me look at him, annoyed.
"Otogi, please leave," I order. The boy looks at me in mock disappointment. I glare and chase him out with the lobster while Yuugi laughs. Otogi gets into difficult mode and breaks into song in the hall.
"I-I-I-I-I-I'm standin' outside your door, I've been here before, misunderstood. I-I-I-I-I-"
I slam the door in Otogi's face. I don't get why he always sings those annoying American hits when trying to be disruptive. He's just showing off. (B)
"What do you want to talk about Yuugi?" I ask. I've already pushed my terror and tears of a few days ago down and I'm busy repressing the memory. I can officially handle Yuugi, but I'm not so sure about Kaiba.
I still can't believe I was so stupid in what I've done. I mean, Seto Kaiba? How can anyone like Kaiba?
"Seto." He says the one word that can make me break into a sweat and start counting the dots on the wall again. I resist the urge to ignore him, and nod.
"What about Kaiba?"
Yuugi frowns at me.
"Why can't you call him Seto?" he asks.
"Habit," I answer. Yuugi always asks that one question whenever someone brings Kaiba up. He wants all of us to all call him Seto now.
"Well, you don't have to worry about that. I'm not so sure about me and Seto," he informs me.
I mentally correct his grammar (Seto and me; not me and Seto) before I realize what he has said.
I gap at him. I don't know whether I should scream in anguish that the sky is falling on my head, or run around happy that the end has finally come and there is no more need for me to fear. I feel a compulsion to do both.
"Wha-why?" I stutter slowly.
Yuugi sighs and shrugs.
"I know you wanted it otherwise so I decided to tell you first. It's just; Seto doesn't give me what I want. He's cold and cruel at lots of times and only really nice when where're alone. I can't stand that, Bakura. I can't stand the way he keeps to himself all the time and won't let me in at what is bothering him." Yuugi complains.
"But he loves you," I try to convince him lamely. 'He loves you', yeah, real poetic.
"But I can't trust the fact that I don't know what he's thinking. I have to know my partner, Bakura, not have them distance themselves from me all the time. It's frustrating because I never know he's happy or sad till no one's watching."
"But he protects you, keeps you safe. Isn't that what you want?" I ask him sadly.
"No, that's not what I want or need. Maybe he'd fit someone else, but I can't stay with Kaiba."
"But Yuugi, you need to keep this up, you don't understand," I can't continue. I can't tell him such an emotional strain might snap Kaiba, who now, thanks to klutzy me, thinks no one can stop him; he can get what he wants whenever he wants it. Kaiba is now sure he can control his emotions, that he is something else entirely from all the rest of the world.
Kaiba isn't the core of all humanity but due to my wonderful intervention, he might just tell you otherwise. I hope he doesn't try to get another boyfriend on his own; he'll fail terribly. They need to be down right obsessed with him if it's to last even a year I suppose.
Unless they're me, but I'll be dead by then anyway.
Kaiba isn't good with people. He's too dominant over everyone and everything. He has to be in control and I can see why that can't fit the bill for Yuugi. Yuugi needs something else, but I completely over-looked this while making the doomed match. I just ran ice into fire at high incomprehensible speeds and hoped one wouldn't drown the other or evaporate to nothing.
This is terrible and wrong and I knew it the entire time.
"I understand Bakura, but unless he drops his self-esteem issue, I'm not bothering," Yuugi tells me like I've known he would.
"But you can't want to do that to Kaiba. It's just hard to notice his affection. You have to expect attention, but not beg."
I try very hard to convince him. I feel like I'm trying to explain in physics to a puppy how to properly roll over, down to wind speed and the day's air pressure. Puppies just don't care about that stuff though, so it's a lost cause in many ways.
"I don't want to do that, Bakura. I can't be happy with people only loving me when they feel like it. I don't care how much a person thinks about me if they don't do anything. I have to end this but I don't want to hurt Seto either, even though he's not important enough for me to need." Yuugi complains softly, tears in his large yes.
I look away; I can't stare at his face. He wants to end it all so fast after all my efforts.
I can't help thinking I'll be dead by tomorrow.
"So you're going to end the relationship? Or have you already done so?" I ask, stroking the smooth shell of my lobster.
"No," he replies, hardly above a whisper, "I don't want to, but I have to."
I nod slowly as the lobster closes a claw around a piece of fringe from the couch's throw rug.
"I know, Yuugi; he's just not your match. Maybe you're not that interested in guys, period," I mumble. Yuugi actually nods at this.
We sit in silence until suddenly I have an idea that may lengthen my own lifespan.
"Yuugi, will you do something for me?" I ask.
"Sure Bakura, anything." I know he's trying to make up for disappointing me. My next words nearly kill me to say, but I must do this.
"Will you promise to try one more time with Kaiba? Will you try to notice his affection better? Please?"
I'm pleading with him. I can't have this fall apart. If it fails, I won't know what I'm good for anymore. I'll be nothing, never winning in the limelight because I happen to hate that particular shade to an intense degree. My weak poor mind will have no more use in anyone else's business because I'll be scared to mess them up as much as myself. I do not fear for Yuugi anymore, I terrified how this will affect Kaiba. The Motou needs to give him just one last chance.
"Okay," Yuugi sighs, "I'll try, but I'm not promising you we'll hit it off."
"I know," I nod. Yuugi is now trying to find an excuse to leave.
"Listen Bakura, I gotta go," he remarks heading for the door.
"See you," I wave with the lobster's claws snapping about, "I'll go take this monster back to the kitchen sink before he dries out."
Yuugi smiles and walks out while I head for the kitchen and drop the animal into his new temporary home. I had to clean the tub earlier because of him. Now he gets the sink.
"There I go again, delaying the inevitable," I remark to the water. The lobster splashes and I grab his food, sprinkling a bit over his habitat.
"What hath I wrought?" I mutter as he eats. (C)
Is something bothering you, Bakura?
I look up in surprise from where I have been smiting Mokuba at chess. Smiting him with laughter at my inferiority and lack of skill in such a terrible game, that is.
How many times do I have to answer that before you give up?
"Your move, Bakura," Mokuba says, but I'm too busy listening to the conversation in my mind.
A long, long time.
"Pawn What-Ever, to corner I-Forgot-the-Grid." I order tapping to spot with my pencil as a servant moves the piece. Mokuba sighs again at my exciting new terminology for this game he's mastered. I think all the Kaibas are chess geniuses. At least they're all better than me; I just learned the basic concepts.
Or at least I thought I learned the concepts.
"You can't move around another pawn, Bakura, it's illegal. That little piece can't move till the one before it is moved or it can take out another diagonally." He tells me…again.
"Well I think I want to call a lawyer on that challenge. The space is free, why can't move there?" I ask lazily.
"It's a pawn, Bakura! It's very limited." He exclaims. I'm really frustrating him.
I look up at the door as it opens and Kaiba walks in and greets Mokuba. Once again I'm reminded of the seafood place when I convince the boy his brother was scared he wasn't loved. What a cruel remark that had been, because if Kaiba had felt that way he'd have been devastated.
"Niisama, my brain hurts," he groans.
"And why is that, Mokuba?" Kaiba asks, exceptionally chipper since he got with Yuugi.
"Bakura isn't thinking enough to play chess right," he pines lightly and Kaiba shakes his head.
"Well, maybe he doesn't get it?" he suggests.
"But he can't even get the pawns' moves right!"
"Awe, now Bakura," Kaiba tsks slightly at me, "That's actually kind of sad."
I watch the board nervously. I can't really see how the game pieces work. There's no point, why can't I knock out two pieces at once?
"Teach him how to play! You're good at it. Please?" Mokuba asks his brother while I find out how many squares there are in a chessboard. Kaiba sighs and walks over, taking Mokuba's seat.
"Incase you're wondering, there are sixty-four squares, Bakura," he interrupts me.
I look up at him surprised. So? I already know he can read my mind. And I already knows there are sixty-four. I've counted them seven times already.
"Chess is fairly easy as long as you pay attention. I don't want to have to be to hard on you." And he sneers so encouragingly right in the middle. "So I suggest that you don't be an idiot. I want you to never need someone to explain this to you again."
I watch him in fear. I don't know with that kind of threat if I'll ever be able to learn. I'll get too nervous.
"Okay, this pawn only moves one space, understand?" he starts.
Lapse of Time
"You're not moving till you give the exact coordinates, Bakura," Kaiba scowls at me.
"Can't I just move the piece myself?" I beg. Mokuba was a lot nicer than his brother. I can't think anymore. My headaches has a headache. My poor, feeble brain is crying.
"If you don't get a piece moved to defend in three minutes, I'll put you in check," Kaiba warns.
"But I forgot what square that was!" I cry as my time slowly ticks away.
I don't know what to do, Kaiba is rudely pressuring me to hurry and my brain has gone blank. Half my army is in his possession and I have three pawns, a bishop, and what I think is a knight. That or what I think is a bishop is a knight and the knight is a bishop. But what if one is a castle or a bishop? Bishops ride the horse right? Or is that the knight? But knights save people from towers, don't they? What in the world is that pointy one? A tower or a bishop? The king is on the left of the queen, right?
"Time up, I'll just put you in check," Kaiba growls at my failure to attempt anything, "You can still destroy me if you recall the grid square, I'm right next to your pawn."
I look at his piece, the Slide Diagonally Piece. My pawn could take it out if I could remember.
"Checkmate, I win," he says because I cannot move. I do not know how.
"You should have given me more time!"
"I did give you time, five matches ago. I even allowed you to point at square instead of graphing them. You still lost because you confused the king and the queen," he informs me smartly, "You're just running around all over the board, not thinking about what you're doing."
"No, I think too much," I reply.
"Really? How can one think too much, Bakura?" he asks, slightly curious.
"I question my move. I wonder of the-the Horse-thing" (Kaiba rolls his eyes at the name) "moves forward or not and then I wonder what its name is. I start to mix it up with the other pieces and forget. Then you ask me for the grid number and I wonder if the numbers and letters are up the board or across the board. I'm worried I'm wrong whether I'm right or not so I skip or just point randomly." I try to explain the entire mess of thoughts. Kaiba nods slowly at each word, considering my unique brand of stupidity.
"Sounds like you have an issue with a little something called confidence, Bakura," he announces almost brightly. I watch him, once again, confused.
"And you don't?" I defend myself primitively.
Kaiba's eyes harden slightly at this. I want to fade away into nothing so he'll stop glaring at me. Only slowly do his eyebrows unknot.
"Sorry," I mutter, watching the Horse figurine that is somehow a Knight.
"Bakura, are you always scared of speaking your mind?" he asks quite frankly. I look at him insulted and not understanding at all.
"Mokuba used to be like that, quiet," he muses distantly, watching the Knight as well. I look away from it in case he's somehow claimed the wooden chess character and I don't know.
"Yuugi isn't," he adds.
"He's got lots to say," I say with a shrug before I can shut it back. Kaiba smirks slightly at this.
"Yes, he does, doesn't he?" he replies, drifting. I wonder what he's thinking about. I'm not going to ask him, I don't think he'd like that, but I can't help but wonder.
Kaiba glares hard at the board. I quite shocked it has failed to combust into flames. I wonder if this is just what Yuugi doesn't like about Kaiba, his glares. Kaiba was always the strong stone cold businessman with a lot more important things to do than talk with everyone else. In school he was the silent statue in the corner of the room, reading or some other intelligent activity. There was a high power and influencing wave of frustration emanating from the ground where he stood. Kaiba was always the one flaunting his superiority around for everyone to see but not letting them anywhere close to it.
I know there would be no point to compare him to a chess piece for better understanding of the role he holds. No, Kaiba is the entire game, if anything. He is the confusing array of strategies that for me equal confusion and for Yuugi is contemplation. Yuugi is the first to help people, not the last they look to if they even bother. He's used to being thrown his problems to solve quickly the best he can and, I must admit, he's a lot better at it than I am. But, he thinks Kaiba wants help when Kaiba's not even aware the Motou is convinced that something is wrong.
Like I said, I made a horrible mistake and now the one I tried to help, Seto Kaiba, is in for the shock of his life.
Maybe Kaiba is right when he says he doesn't need any help. Every time others try to fix his problems for him, they crash. Whenever others want to get an idea to his mind or change something, they try to force it. That can't be good for a person's mental state. I think that's why Kaiba is so harsh to the world; the world is the same to him.
I'm depressing myself now. I'm most likely wrong any way.
Bakura, are you asleep?
I sigh at the voice and wait for the second one to answer.
Leave me alone!
What is wrong with me? Is this some joke my other self is playing on me? These two little voices in my mind?
No, I want to see if you're sleeping.
"Bakura? I told you. There are sixty-four squares, do you have to count them all?" Kaiba asks.
"I'm not counting," I remark.
"Well, I'm calling the press," he says. He interrupts me thoughts just so he can tell me that.
I blink. It takes me a few seconds to realize this is a joke.
"Sorry," I apologize.
"For what?" Kaiba asks.
I stop talking. I wonder just what I am so sorry for. I'm always apologizing for nothing, hm? I guess I'm preparing for the largest sorry in the universe.
Sorry I screwed up your life, Seto Kaiba. Yuugi Motou doesn't love you. Surprise!
That sounds fun, eh?
"If you don't know, then don't always be apologizing and get the confidence to speak your mind, especially if no one seems to care," he concludes like a self-esteem program because I'm not answering.
I nod silently. Yeah, that will happen. Whatever you say Kaiba….
"Sor—I mean, I'll try," I mutter, turning red and watching my sneakers.
"That's more like it, now you just need to stop blushing," he muses, trying to see how to fix my characteristic imperfections, "And that counting thing you do. That will unnerve people if you keep it up," he informs me.
I blush even harder and absentmindedly try to memorize the threaded colors in the carpet.
"You're not too perfect either," I stammer slowly.
"I'm close enough," he sighs, getting up and ordering for the car to get started.
I notice once again Kaiba's distancing. I see he tends to do that when I bring up him or his flaws. I guess he doesn't like the topic very much. I wonder if this happens to Yuugi. The Motou naturally tries to fix errors in other people; I think it gives him some kind of purpose. I can't help but realize how Kaiba's resistance to this approach may stress my other little friend. I wonder how it affects Kaiba. Someone trying to help him like Yuugi tends to might make him uncomfortable.
"Kaiba?" I ask as I make for the door.
"Yes, Bakura?" he acknowledges my interest.
"How's it, with you and Yuugi?" I can't help but ask. If Kaiba wants to hear my mind, I'll throw him what I've been thinking about for the past few days.
"Fine, why do you ask?" He shrugs. I can't help but notice a wall as it starts to fall between us at the question.
"Oh, it's nothing," I mutter, quickly deciding to get off the topic seeing as such a conversation would be very unpredictable and most likely dangerous for the timid. Basically: me.
We continue to the car and I get in, glad I was able to end that evolving dilemma so soon before I got myself into yet another mess. I highly doubt it would have been good for my mental state.
I still can't help but wonder if he feels the way Yuugi does about all of this? Like it's all a sham?
"Okay, Bakura, tell me," Kaiba orders as he pulls over. I stare around in shock. We aren't that close to my place, but I doubt this is a concern of Kaiba's. He turns the inside lighting on and I can no longer see out the windows.
"Tell you what?" I ask nervously, wondering why the door isn't open for me to jump out and run away screaming through.
"What were you going to say about Yuugi?" he asks, curious yet threatening.
"It doesn't matter," I reply distractedly, trying to stare past the dim light to outside, which is near impossible due to the inner glare.
"Bakura, quit staring at the window like some idiot and tell me!" he barks and I snap to attention, terrified. Kaiba gets very annoyed very fast and I don't know why. I also don't know why he is so strict. There are many things I can't even see about him, but right now I'm pretty sure it's in my best interest to comply.
"Sorry," I mutter, trying very hard to not focus entirely on the floor.
"I didn't asked you to apologized. I asked you to answer," he snaps. For some odd reason I fell like crying again. The inside of the car area seems to heat up dramatically.
"Well, it's just you and Yuugi don't seem exactly," I pause and finally study the fuzzy cropped carpet of the surrounding walls and ground. I feel the billionaire's glare and gulp once before finding on last word, "Compatible."
"What do you mean?" Kaiba asks, quietly enough, though there is obvious strain.
"You don't really-and I think," I choke and shut up, picking frantically at the cushion under my fingers.
"What?" he growls.
"It's nothing really, forget about it," I beg, looking up and all but crossing my hands and getting on my knees.
"What do you think?" he demands once more, straining my will to how far this goes until I break.
"I just don't know," I sigh desperately. I don't want to tell him about what Yuugi said; I don't want to see the pain and confusion that should always be masked. Kaiba is great and the information could bring him down so very fast. He doesn't know what he's asking me to say.
"Is it something I should know?" he growls low. I cringe and barely find my voice.
"Yes and, well, no," I squeak, very unsure of myself now. I want to make all this fade away, to be home in bed, alone with the lobster in his tub. I want to be asleep right now, dreaming about what I'll forget by the morning's thought murdering light. I don't want to be in this car, being glared over be a dangerously curious egomaniac with relationship issues he doesn't even notice yet.
"Bakura, I'd appreciate it if you told me a little of what you are thinking," he informs me menacingly.
"Please don't make me tell you," I plea, near tears, "I don't want to, don't make me."
Kaiba sighs in frustration and starts the car again, putting on like he's doing me a hug favor. We drive in eerie silence to the apartments. Before I get out, he turns to me.
"Bakura, I don't think Mokuba needs a babysitter anymore. You're no longer needed." He informs me coldly. In other words, I can now go back to not existing.
I watch him aghast. I think I was just fired. He pulls out without so much as a goodbye and drives off. I stand next to the complex's small rock garden and gape. Far away in the horizon of buildings, I see the slight glow that signals the ever cliché approach of dawn. I had spent all night on it and still had no idea how to play chess.
I don't think I want to see another checkered board with chess pieces on it.
Kaiba was obviously angered at my denial to answer him. I can't believe I'm not going to have to ride in that deathtrap car again or get pestered and annoyed by little Mokuba.
For some reason, I really just want to hide in my room now and sleep forever, awaking only when I discover this is a terrible dream that will be over soon.
But it's not. Nothing is fake now and I might as well crawl into a hole and die. Kaiba is now probably questioning him and Yuugi just as Yuugi is picking when to break it all up.
There was a chicken named Henny Penny who claimed the sky was falling. I never quite understood her terror at such a thing when I first read the story with one of my many aunts. Now though, I understand it quite well. My world is falling upon me just as I tear it down with my bare hands.
I'm starting with the sky for all it's worth, the daytime bright blue color that holds everything up and keeps it all down. It's the fundamental pillar after the earth that no one really sees.
What a fine array of ordered chaos I've made
The sky is falling.
Notes and stuff:
A: I do not like pineapple sherbet. Right now there is an entire tub of it in the freezer that no one wants to eat. I don't think anyone wants it. There's a good reason too. It is fat free and disgusting all the time.
B: inspired by misheard lyrics of a Bon Jovi song there! It was on while I was typing and since Bakura was kicking Otogi out, I thought he should annoy them all with it. Pretend it's a real song.
C: Okay, the original expression is "What hath God wrought?" Bakura has just taken the phrase and changing the words. Not implying that he's God or anything! Except he thinks he has the power to destroy the world. Heh.
Hehe, I'm trying very hard to make this fic funny again, but right now I'm reading "Fields of Thirteen" a collection of stories by Dick Francis. That doesn't give me many humorous ideas.
