A month passed by and it was now the middle of July. Mine and Friedrich relationship continued in a steady and calm pass to which I was happy since I was battling with myself everyday over it; I'd started to suspect Friedrich knew it too. He was very careful not to pressure me, but I was surprised that he didn't give up either. I had so much mixed feelings about it all that I didn't know what to do and instead just followed in the same direction Friedrich was pulling us. As usual the sun was rising when I woke up so I watched the sunrise from my window before I walked down stairs. To my surprise the breakfast was already on the table when I came down and Gloria was awaiting me with a huge smile.
"I don't think you ever been up before me since I moved in." I said as I came down and smiled at the woman, she hugged me tight. "What owes me this honour?" She pulled away, her hands still on either side of my shoulder but with wide eyes looking confused.
"Is, isn't it your birthday? I'm sure Erwin told me it was the 14 of july." I looked at her for a long moment.
"My birthday." I said slowly, like the words were foreign for me.
"Ohh dear I'm so sorry. I wasn't sure if you celebrate such things in the underground but you see, up here we usually do." She looked ashamed, like she done something stupid.
"No, no it's alright. It just…I haven't celebrated my birthday since my parents was alive." I said and looked down at the ground. Gloria suddenly hugged me again.
"Then congratulations dear." She said and I smiled into her embrace as she put a hand on my cheek in her usual motherly way. "Now sit down and have some breakfast." She said and I went over to the table and sat down. As we ate she asked me about my birthdays in the underground. I told her they weren't much but enough for me to feel special. My mother always baked a little cake which I got on the morning and on the evening she made something she knew I liked for dinner. Gloria laughed when I told her about the time my grandfather given me a small pocket knife at my twelfth birthday and my parents had scolded him for it and taken it away. He made sure I got it later, when my parents didn't see and told me he would teach me how to use it properly.
"And once my mother had sewed a whole dress to me. It was a beautiful blue dress with a wide skirt." I smiled as I finished her telling about my absolute favourite dress I had when I was seven.
"It sounds wonderful." Gloria said and smiled at me.
"Considering the circumstances it was. Not even a handful of the children living down there have it like that." I sadden a bit thinking about it. "It's tough living in the underground but I shouldn't complain. I had it good. I was taken care of and protected first by my family and then by Levi. Without him I wouldn't even be alive today." I said and lowered my eyes. Gloria watched me in silence.
"I know it's none of my business, but may I ask what happened? With your family? Erwin just told me you lived with Levi, nothing about your family." I looked up at her, thinking in silence for a moment and then smiled sadly at her.
"I don't really know. My dad was from the surfaces, he never told me much about it but I think he had some criminal business going on here and then something happened which made him flee down to the underground. He continued his business down there and one evening some people came to the tavern, I don't know who they where or what they look like but they weren't there to make any deals. I know the leader of the group killed my grandfather first and then my father. Mother told me to hide, so I hide in the pantry. Then someone came into the kitchen. The person killed my mother and then walked out. But then the doors to the pantry opened and there Levi stood, just looking down at me with his steel grey eyes, so intense that I almost stopped breathing. I thought I was going to die when he suddenly closed the door and told the others it was empty." I silenced and Gloria just looked at me with horrified eyes.
"Why didn't he kill you?" She suddenly asked and I looked up at her.
"I don't know." I told her, the question had been rolling in my mind for many years but I'd decided not to dwell too much about it. I had never dared question him about it and later I'd figured he probably didn't know himself.
"Maybe he just thought you were too beautiful to kill." She said and smiled at me; I couldn't help but laugh at it.
"Trust me; he's not the type to care about such things." I said and took a sip of my tea. Gloria smiled at me. "I don't ever think I heard him speak about the beauty of anything. No, he doesn't see the world like that. Well there isn't really much beauty to speak about in the underground when I think about it."
"Tell me, do you think he loved you?" I looked at her again, for a long moment I was silent and then I smiled.
"Yes, I think that's way he pushed me away." Gloria looked confused but I'd had a lot of time to think about this. "Loosing Farlan and Isabel like that, it surely destroyed him. I'm sure he blames himself for it and I think what made him decide to push me away was that fear of loosing me to, that I would blame him as well for what happened and eventually not be able to stay with him and leave. I think it was easier for him to push me away then risking too loose me." Gloria looked at me with a sad expression on her face.
"How he ever could do this to you, it's beyond my understanding. I hope he realizes what he gave up and that he regrets it. After everything you've been thru you're still so strong, kind-hearted and caring. It truly amazes me, you know, and you're worth all the happiness and love in the world." Gloria had stood up and was now by my side, her hand stroking my cheek and looking down at me with care and comfort.
"Thank you Gloria." I said and smiled up at her, a mixture of sad and happy tears in my eyes.
"It's nothing to thank for, it's the truth." She whispered as she kissed my forehead.
After Gloria and I had collected our self after the morning's conversation she told me I could just take it easy today and that I didn't need to help in the shop. I told her I had nothing better do to do anyways. Well that was what I thought until a little after lunch when Eren, Mikasa and Armin came running into the store and told Gloria they needed to borrow me. She told me it was alright and with that they dragged me out of the store with out explanation. They dragged me to their usual spot by the canal.
"Congratulation, Valerie." They shouted, well Eren did most of the shouting. I smiled and laughed at them.
"Thank you, how did you know?" I had to ask.
"Mom told us." Eren said and looked at Mikasa who nodded. I smiled, sure of that Gloria had told Carla. I sighed and smiled at the three.
"But really guys, you didn't have to drag me the whole way here to congratulate me." I said and looked around the canal; it was almost empty of people.
"Yes we had." Eren said and I looked back at him, he grinned from me to Armin. That's when I noted the book in his arms. Armin blush a little.
"We wanted to show you this book. I got it from my grandfather; it's about the world outside the walls." I looked at the boy in surprise, I had no idea such a book existed. I knew the three of them wanted to go outside the wall and explore but had just believed it was dreams raised from their curiosity. It accrued to me it may was this book which made their will so strong since most children I'd gotten to knew here was content with living inside the walls and didn't seem to wonder to much about the outer world. "You want to see?" Armin asked and I smiled at him.
"Yes, I absolutely do want to." I said and we sat down. They pointed at all the drawn pictures and told me all about places filled with sand as far eyes could see, whole lakes frozen to ice and tropical forests. I smiled as they talked with longing, curiosity and enthusiasm about everything the world had to offer. If this book was for real or not, I didn't know but it didn't matter as I saw their eyes lit up over the endless adventures that they believed could be found outside the walls. It also pained me since the threat of the titans was long from over and the possibility to explore the outside world was slim for the three of them. After a while Armin had to get back home and the three of us left told him good bye. It wasn't long until we started to make our way home as well. Eren continue to talk all about the outside world and joining the survey corps. It was dinner time by the time we where back and coming closer to the house I could see the entrance being open and hear voices from inside. It turned out that Gloria had invited Anne and her family, Carla and Grisha, as well as Friedrichs family.
"Ohh you're back." Gloria smiled at us from where she stood by the stove preparing dinner; it looked like a whole feast. Carla and Grisha came up congratulating me, Carla hugging me. Anne and her youngest son Vinzenz hugged me as well. At last Amelia came up hugging me.
"Friedrich will be here soon as well, he had to take the afternoon shift." I smiled at her and nodded. I then turned to help Gloria and Carla with the dinner who gave me a meaning look.
"No, sit down and try relax like normal people for once in your life." Gloria said and warned me with her eyes. I smiled at her and sat down by the table together with the others. I didn't need to worry about talking either since the other women in the household kept a flowing conversation going. Gloria announced it was dinner and we started eating. Amelia started worrying over Friedrich being late after we'd eaten since he'd said he would be there to dinner.
"I can go look for him." I said and stood from the table. Amelias eyes shinned up at this.
"Ah he's fine, he's a strong lad." Her husband Gerhold said and looked proud. I smiled and nodded at the man before I walked over to the door.
"I'll be back soon." I said and walked out. Honestly it was nice to get out for a little and to be alone. I wandered the streets down to the gate, looking around but I couldn't see Friedrich anywhere.
"Oi girl. Are you looking for someone?" One of the guards said obviously drunk, I hadn't seen him before but the man sitting besides him I'd seen with Friedrich a couple of times.
"Ehum, yes. Private Hausler, he was supposed to work the afternoon shift today and then meet up with me but he hasn't yet. Do you know where he is?" I asked a bit hesitant, keeping my distant.
"Ahh Friedrich you mean. Yeah, he left a little while ago." The man said and stood, walking towards me. "What would such a lovely girl have to do with him?"
"We're friends." I said and backed a little, getting the well-known feeling of danger spreading thru my body just like the way it often did while I lived in the underground city. "Well thank you, for the information. I'd go see if I can find him elsewhere. Good bye." I turned around but the man grabbed me by my arm, stopping me.
"Friends you say, huh?" He said. "Then what's the hurry? Why don't you stay and show your gratitude to us brave soldiers protecting your delicate body from the titans." He'd turned me around by now and was looking me up and down.
"Uhm, I really need to go. I'm sorry." I said, trying to free myself from his grip.
"Ah come on, a kiss at least." He said and leaned closer, I tried to move away from him but he still got me in a hard grip.
"Let her go." I froze at the words and for a moment I expected someone else. A part of me got disappointed when I turned my head to see Friedrich standing behind me. The man let go of me with a laugh.
"It was just a joke man, nothing to worry about." Friedrich walked towards the man, placing himself in front of me in a protective manner. "If I see or hear you've been joking with her again, I'll make sure your sorry excuse for an ass will be kicked out of the garrison." The man looked at him with an unsure expression on his face but then he looked at me.
"Sorry Ms, it won't happen again." With that he turned around, muttering and walked back to his place. Friedrich watched him for a moment until he turned around and looked at me.
"Are you alright?" I nodded.
"I'm fine." He breathed out and then smiled at me.
"Sorry for having you come here. The other shift got late so I was stuck and then I wanted to change from my uniform. And when I came to your house they told me you left to look for me." He said and I looked at his clothes. He had indeed his regular clothes on.
"Your mother was worried so I offered to go look." Friedrich smiled and then he realized something.
"That's right. Congratulations." He said and leaned down to kiss me.
"Thank you." I said with a blush on my face when he pulled away. He smiled at me.
"Come on, let's get back before they start worry to much." He said and reached out his hand for me to take. I hesitated for a moment before I took it. I was still glad Friedrich showed up in the right moment, but the person I'd hoped to see at that moment wasn't him. We walked the way back to my house and when we came back everyone was relived, well Gerhold had been sure there was nothing to worry about. We said nothing about the incident and the evening continued with conversations and laughter. I for the most sat silent, yet again getting the feeling of disloyalty and betrayal. From time to time Friedrich looked at me and I gave him a weak smile in return. I could see in his eyes he thought it was the incident that made me like this and it pained me even more.
