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Chapter 7 Guilty
I cannot stay awake any more
I will tell her Tony thought to himself
'' Tony …. To… Tonyyyy '' Ziva said trying to keep her own emotions under control to help him stay awake
I need to tell her I love her and he wasted time playing that cat and mouse game
'' Zivaaaa … Ziii … I'm really… sorry ''' said Tony
That was all he managed to say before he slipped into beautiful nothingness where there was no pain nor suffer
'' Tony ... Tonyy... Tonyyyyyyyy….'' Ziva now screamed at Tony losing her self control completely when Tony shut his eyes closed
'' Tony … Tonyyyy ... Tony please wake up , Tony do not you die on me '' said Ziva now sobbing
The doctor came with a male nurse with him; he had the first aid kit with him
The doctor examined Tony's pulse and found a weak one
'' we've got pulse '' the doctor said and Ziva stopped crying waiting for the next conformation that he is not gonna die which never came
''let's put him on IV lines , now '' the doctor told the male nurse who right away started getting the equipments out of the bag he had
The nurse put the IV lines in Tony's arm while the doctor examined the wounds Tony had, while Ziva just stared at Tony holding his hand tightly not allowing the doctor to free her hand from his
She just could not believe, she was still crying while the doctor examined his wounds
The doctor cut open his soaked in blood shirt and cleaned Tony's skin from the blood that covered his chest
Ziva just wondered now what was he sorry for
What if he do not get the chance to tell me
Will I be able to survive without you?
The nurse now worked on putting bandages on Tony's shoulder wound , while the doctor worked on the wound in his chest
'' He is hurt in the chest, his left lung collapsed that is all I can tell for now '' said the doctor after he succeeded in stopping the bleeding
Oh my God, he is hurt badly
Oh Tony, please do not give up
Ziva thought and tightened her grip on his hand instinctively
'' We need a gurney now '' the doctor directed his nurse and then turned to Ziva and said '' when will your helicopter arrive? ''
Ziva looked at her watch and said '' it should arrive within an hour '' she was panicking at that sudden question
'' I only can extract the bullets from his wounds to prevent any further infections, but I cannot keep him stable, he lost a lot of blood and needs blood transfusion '' said the doctor looking directly at Ziva before continuing '' He also have a collapsed lung which leads that he should be put in ventilation system and monitors .. There could be internal bleeding which I cannot determine specifically on the carrier... So we will need to move him to DC as fast as we can before he could come to cardiac arrest'' the doctor concluded and turned to put an oxygen mask over Tony's face which was turning a bit blue
'' I will only try to extract the bullets and wait for the helicopters arrival'' concluded the doctor
The nurse was back with the gurney and the carried Tony on it and headed to the medical care section and Ziva at their heels
Oh my God, Tony why do you always get into trouble
Oh God please let him live, let him live for my sake
I cannot lose him
Ziva made a little prayer in Hebrew while walking with the doctor and the nurse still holding Tony's hand in one hand and in the other hand her jacket that was now soaked in Tony's blood
The doctor and the nurse went into a sterilized room and started working on his shoulder wound
They finished it and took away the bullet
Then when they worked on his other wound they did not take away the bullet
When the doctor came out , he told Ziva '' we successfully got the bullet from his shoulder , but the other one is too close to his heart and it needs a more sterilized environment and more equipments , so we left it until he gets to Bethesda and there they will take care of him '' the doctor took a deep breathe and then continued '' the risk is while traveling in the helicopter, the bullet could move to his heart and the result will be fatal , but there is no other solution '' said the doctor
Ziva sat heavily on the chair behind her and took fast deep breathes to prevent herself from crying again
Why? Why Tony?
Why was not it me?
I wish it was me, I wish I stayed and admitted that I was afraid to leave him alone
Why did not I follow my gut
Oh God help him
Ziva looked at her watch again and now it was almost six o'clock and helicopter should be arriving any time now
'' I will keep him on heavy sedation so that he would not return conscious, but he is already in a coma '' said the doctor
'' He is already in a coma? '' exclaimed Ziva
'' Yes'' assured the doctor '' the pain of the shots was too painful and his collapsed lung reduced the amount of Oxygen arriving to his brain so it resulted in a coma'' concluded the doctor
Ziva was more shocked by that announcement
She asked the doctor in a shaky voice that she could not hide anymore '' what are the chances for his survival? ''
She asked the doctor fearing to know the answer
He sat in the chair beside Ziva's
He said after taking a deep breathe '' if Agent DiNozzo could survive being transferred in the helicopter without the bullet going into his heart and causing … .. um … and causing his heart to stop ,, AND … if Agent DiNozzo could have an immediate blood transfusion operation ,,,, then there will be only the risk of internal bleeding or internal organs damage, ,,and he could go into cardiac arrest due to the bullet wound near his heart '' the doctor was quite for a while before he continued '' Agent DiNozzo's chances for survival are very weak …. Besides he is already on a coma that could have permanent damage on his brain '' he concluded
'' I will go prepare Agent Dinozzo for the flight ''said the doctor and left Ziva alone
Tony … how did I let this happen to you
I will never forgive myself
The last thing he said was that he was sorry while I was the one who should have said it
I am sorry Tony for not protecting you
I am sorry
Then tears fell again from her eyes and looked over to where Tony was now being replaced on a gurney and an Oxygen mask over his face
His face was little bluish and a tube was linked to his mouth
He looked so helpless and vulnerable Ziva thought that she had never seen him look like that even in his weakest moment, I never saw you so weak Tony
The doctor continued in putting bandages on Tony's wounds and then he put a rope around Tony's waist to keep him stable while they transform him in the helicopter
'' Officer David '' the doctor called on Ziva from behind the glass door where he stood beside Tony
'' Yes, doctor, is there any thing wrong '' asked Ziva panicking inside for why he could call her for
'' no , the helicopter just reported in and I informed them with the case of Agent DiNozzo , so you better go collect your and Agent DiNozzo's things so that you could be able to leave soon as we finish preparing Agent DiNozzo for the flight '' said the doctor to Ziva
Ziva nodded to the doctor and looked at the helpless Tony lying so still in the gurney and left
It is time to get professional Ziva thought to herself
She went to their cabinet and packed her things and then packed Tony's things before she felt really sad as the rest of the lunch he brought with them was still there
Her tears were threatening to fall again, but she stopped herself so that she can finish her job
She finished packing her things then she left all the bags at the cabinet on the floor and ordered one of the skippers to deliver them to the helicopter
In the mean while she had other things to do
She fetched one of the equipment bags and headed again to the cabinet where Tony was shot
It was left intact on her orders until she took photos of the scene
She took out her gloves and camera in hand and started to take pictures of the dead Corporal Kevin and then the place where Tony was shot where she stared for a while at the pool of blood that belonged to Tony
Oh my God Tony , how did you even survived after you lost all that blood and still be awake looking at me ,
Just apologizing while you suffered the most
She then took a bag and put the bullets shells that were on the floor and then put everything in her bag and left
I have to stay focus, Ziva kept telling herself as she walked in the corridors of the carrier to make one last job she should do
She went to where she cuffed Corporal Walter to the door and found him asleep on the floor and his hand held up by the hand cuffs
She called his commanding officer and ordered that he should stay cuffed like that until another helicopter come with more agents and arrest him as he was in charged of treason and he will be moved with the dead body of Corporal Kevin who was also in charged of treason
She then left heading to the medical care section again where the doctor was still preparing Tony for that risky flight
''Are you ready Officer David? '' asked the doctor '' we are ready to move Agent Dinozzo and the helicopter is also ready to pick us up ''
'' Yes, I am ready. How is he doing? '' Ziva asked afraid again from the answer
'' His condition is critical,, his collapsed lung is causing problems in the Oxygen mask we put '' he sighed and said '' all we can do now is pray for him , he is just swaying between life and death '' the doctor said and started to move Tony's gurney
Ziva just stood there shock, he is not even stable,
All we can do is pray???
How can watch my partner like that and do nothing???
A sense of helplessness washed over Ziva's inside
I am always in control, how did I let this happen to Tony
I cannot control that
How can I just sit there watch him dying
Ziva thought as she followed the doctor to the deck of the ship and Tony on the gurney and his body still attached to different lines and the oxygen mask over his face and the nurse squeezing it every 3 seconds
They reached the deck and to the helicopter
Ziva sat beside the gurney and replaced her hand back in Tony's
She sat so still just looking at Tony as if her eyes would keep the bullet away from his heart and then the helicopter started to raise in the air
That is it for this chapter, I hope you liked it
Sorry for the long chapter but I had to finish the carrier phase
Please read and review
The next chapter shows the journey to DC
Whether Tony survive it or not
And some of the team reactions
