Chapter Seven: Lets Just Talk About It
Last chapter Tony had Panic help him test a new machine he a Bruce invented which shows past memories and thoughts but it revealed some dark things about Panic and the way she used to feel about her father. Please comment and follow this series.
It's been a few days since I helped Bruce and my dad test that machine and he still has yet to talk to me. I'm not sure what he saw or heard but obviously it wasn't good seeing as I've gotten myself into this predicament. I should have known better than to agree to do it, especially since I have such a tainted past. Finally sick of waiting around I get up from my bed and head down the stairs in search of dad. He isn't in the living room so he must be in his workshop so that's where I go.
When I reach the main floor I see him sitting at a table in front of a laptop so I step forward, stopping beside him. He looks over at me and nods for me to sit down in the chair beside him so I do. He spins the laptop around so I can see the screen as well and am horrified by what I see. Not because I'm shocked but because I know Bruce and my dad saw this.
"There you are!" I hear his cold, unfeeling voice and I feel my fingers shake at my side, my younger self screams and then the screen goes black and dad pauses it, looking at me.
"What is that?" he asks, looking at me.
"I don't know, I think your machine must've had a malfunction." Lie. That did happen, I can recall exactly what happened as if it occurred just yesterday. My childhood was awful but I managed to keep it hidden and now this machine has brought my greatest fears and then with seeing that...guy outside my bedroom window.
"Panic..." my dad pleads, he looks so guilty, like it's all on him and he looks miserable and I feel a sting in my heart for making him feel that way. It's not his fault but he can't know, I'm not ready for him—or anyone for that matter—to know just how screwed up I really am.
"It was a reoccurring nightmare, that's it." Another lie. Wow, two already.
He shakes his head in a knowing way but resumes the video nonetheless, the next scene catches my attention. It plays out my thoughts as if I said them aloud but they're my thoughts! Shit...
"You know that guy's your father right?" I say in sync with my mother in the video. Tony looks over at me and I continue watching as the past me rolls her eyes and scoff then replies in a hateful tone.
"Yes, unfortunately."
I watch as Mom crosses the room sits down next to that me and kisses her on the cheek before pulling away and focusing her gaze at that me.
"How can you hate the guy? You don't even know him."
"I don't need to know him, TV and tabloids already do, that's all I need to know about the guy. If he knew I existed he'd probably pay us off to keep it a secret anyways," the past me says in that annoyed tone I used to always use. I can feel my dad's eyes on me but I ignore it just taking in the sight of my mom sitting there, alive.
"Okay, you don't know that."
"Oh, don't we, I mean if you thought he would want me why didn't you ever tell him?"
"Well—"
"Precisely."
"Hey," she says warning, "You may have that genius brain of his but you're still only eight years old and I'll be damned if I let you speak to me that way."
"Sorry mom, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, it's just-"
"Yeah, I know. Look kiddo, what me and your father had was a one night stand, it didn't mean anything and besides I know that guy wouldn't be a good father I mean really," she turns up the sound on the TV.
"Then," I say, "the lady on the TV speaks up and starts talking."
My dad looks at me, knowing that this did happen as I can recall every detail as well as the first one but I'm more inclined to share things on these ones.
"Tony Stark, the billionaire of Stark Industries has added another woman to his long list of sex scandles the newest being Daphne Lowly the March cover model for Maximum magazine, it's been reported that he's also been with January and February models as well."
The past me groans in annoyance and holds up the remote, switching the TV off and falling back on the couch, crossing her arms over her chest.
"I hate that guy!"
"Funny because you're just like him" mom replies to me. I knew she was kidding back them but now I know that she's also being truthful too because I am a lot like my father but that me never would have noticed.
"I told you not to say that!"
"Someday you'll meet him and end up not hating him" mom says, laughing.
"When pigs fly."
He pauses the video and spins his chair around to face me. "I can't believe you hate me!"
"I don't hate you, anymore."
"Yeah but you did, how could you hate me, you didn't even know me!?" he asks, literally flipping out.
"I was a child and my father wasn't around, he, you didn't know I existed and besides I didn't need another person in my life who would—!" I trail off, looking away, I pull my legs up to my chest trying to avoid eye contact with him. He can't see how broken I am, I will not allow it.
"I was a child and I judged you by the person you were in a tabloids, the person who could never be a father, and the man who'd rather not be stuck with a fucked up one night stand mistake so God forbid me hating you..."
"Panic, I'm not stuck with you and your not just a-" I could almost see his urge to hug me like I was a five year old kid who fell down and scrapped their knees and is crying out for their parent but he didn't act on it.
"I know, you want answers, well here they are go to the next video."
He does as I ask and plays the next one which I already know what is coming. It was the day he was kidnapped in Afghanistan and I worried myself sick, I hated the guy back then but the realization that my biological father could possible be dead really took it's toll on me.
"What about this one?" he says pausing the video.
"Like the video explains that's when you went missing in Afghanistan and were taken by the Ten Rings under Obadiah Stane's command."
"How do you know that?"
"Yeah I hated you back then but I kept up with what was going on in your life, in fact I lived in the alley right by Stark Towers. Damn building was always laughing at me, looming over me."
"Wait," dad says, standing up, straightening his Black Sabbath T-Shirt. "So you've been stalking me all these years?"
I shrug. "I wanted to know what was going on, even if I hated you. I never thought I'd actually get to meet you in real life so I kept tabs of what was going on in your life, so I know everything."
"Everything?" he asks skeptically, raising an eyebrow.
"Pepper getting kidnapped by Aldrich Killian and Maya Hanson, one of you many ex's, and was injected with EXTREMIS."
He looks at me, almost stunned that I know that much. I give a smirk before continuing.
"I know way more than I should but hey, Fury doesn't know I know that much."
"What else do you know?"
"About you or the rest of the Avengers?"
"Both."
"I know that after the first battle of New York you suffered from panic attacks and I know Clint Barton was controlled by Loki, Thor's adopted brother."
"Whoa..."
"Are we good? You gonna stop avoiding me?" I ask, pleading now in my tone.
"I wasn't," I glare at him. "Okay fine I was and yes, I'm done."
"Good, see ya!" I reply, putting spunk in my voice as I head towards the stairs. When dad calls out for me I turn, and look at him waiting for his response.
"Pepper and I are going to be in New York for the next few days so we won't be here, do you want to go?," he says. "And I love you Panic."
"I love you too, and nah, I'm good."
With that I march back up the stairs and go into my bedroom, just thinking.
