A/N- I know that some of my reviewers don't like how angsty some of the chapters have been, but it's a necessary part of the story. Kate's still healing and even though she loves Castle, it wouldn't be right for her to run straight to Castle after the bad relationship she's had with Josh. Her heart is still healing and with the help of Castle and Alexis she will learn to take chances on love again.
Thanks for sticking with me and the angst is pretty much done. There will still be some, but not as much now...Thanks again for the reviews...
That night, after Alexis had gone to bed, Castle and Kate sat up and talked. Mostly they talked about the baby. Castle sat across from her, took her hand and whispered, "I want to be involved in everything when it comes to the baby. I know you find it hard to believe, but I know what it's like not to have a father. It's tough growing up without one..."
"I can do it myself Castle, I..."
"I know you can, but raising a baby is hard work. Trust me, I've been there."
"You've done a good job with Alexis. She's a great kid."
Castle laughed, "She makes it easy and she keeps me on my toes. She's an old soul."
"Why would you want to raise another man's child Castle?"
He decided that he was going to be completely honest with her. So, he said, "Because I'm already crazy about her mother."
"Her?"
"Alexis is convinced that the baby is going to be a girl. I've tried telling her that it's a fifty-fifty chance either way, but she's stubborn."
Kate laughed, "I wonder where she gets that from."
"I know right. I'm not stubborn. Not in the least. She gets that from my mother obviously."
Kate rolled her eyes and took his hand in hers. She looked into his eyes and told him, "I'm not going to deny that I have feelings for you Castle. I've had feelings for you for a long time. Maybe even before Josh."
Castle looked at her in shock. Then he asked, "Why?"
She knew why he was asking why, "Because you are such a good man."
"And you don't deserve a good man?"
She shook her head, "You had just gotten divorced from Meredith and I didn't want to be your rebound relationship. And Josh swept me off of my feet. It was a whirlwind romance and before I knew it we were engaged. Remember the night I told you?"
Castle nodded, "It was the worst night of my life."
"I wanted you to give me a reason not to marry him. Wanted you to give me some sign that we could have a future together."
"But all I did was kiss your cheek and wish you luck."
"You remember..."
"Of course I remember. I remember everything about that night. I replayed that night over and over again in my mind a million times. It was awful watching you walk away from me. Even worse knowing that I would never get to tell you how I felt about you."
"How do you feel about me Castle? If I wasn't pregnant would we be sitting here in your living room having this discussion?"
Castle sighed, "Probably not. Because you would still be with Josh and I would never want to be the cause of wrecking another marriage."
She knew that was true. He's had the same thing done to him and he knew the kind of pain that could cause. Looking into his eyes, she made an important decision. She nodded and leaned forward and kissed his cheek ever so softly and whispered, "You are a good man Richard Castle."
"I'm just going to say this. I love you and have loved you for so long. I want to be a father to your baby and..."
"And?"
"And once your divorce is final, I would like the chance to love you. To build a life with you and your child."
She'd known him long enough to know that he was being truthful to her. It still amazed her that this man was willing to be the father of her baby when it's own father turned it's back on her. She finally nodded and whispered, "He broke my heart Castle..."
Castle nodded, "I know. Let me help rebuild your heart. Teach you that not all men are like him. Some men, namely me, can be stand up guys."
She smiled at him, "This is important to you. Isn't it?"
Nodding he whispered, "The most important thing I've done in a long, long time."
Looking into his eyes she saw nothing but the truth shining in her eyes. She finally asked, "What if you decide that after the baby's born you want out?"
"Not going to happen. I'm in this for the long haul."
"How can you know? This baby is half Josh's and..."
Castle shrugged and told her, "It's not your child's fault. That baby is innocent. I want to be there for everything Kate."
She looked down at their joined hands and took a deep breath. She finally told him, "Fine."
"Fine?"
"I will let you be there for everything during the pregnancy, but after the baby's born I want Josh to be able to see him or her and let him have one final chance. To deny or accept the baby. I don't love him anymore, but I want to make sure he knows what he's throwing away..."
Castle didn't think that it was right, but he would agree to it Because she held all the cards and he needed to let her know that she was, ultimately the one that made the decisions. So, he said, "I can live with that."
"Fine. Because you really don't have any other choice." Then she swallowed and told him, "I have an appointment with my obstetrician tomorrow. I don't think they are going to do anything important, but..."
"I'm there."
She saw a sparkle in his eyes and she shook her head and smiled at him. This man was nothing short of amazing. He was willing to be there for a baby that wasn't his. If she hadn't already loved him, she would have fallen in love with him simply for that. She stood up and told him, "It's at nine in the morning."
"I'll make us breakfast. Pancakes okay?"
Kate smiled and nodded, "Sounds perfect."
Castle stood up and whispered, "Goodnight Kate."
Before he could chicken out, he gave her a brief, soft kiss. A kiss that left them both breathless and wanting more. A kiss that spoke more than words ever could. A kiss that spoke of a bright and beautiful future for both of them.
When Kate woke the following morning, it was to the smell of pancakes and the sound of something crashing in the kitchen downstairs. After she dressed, she walked downstairs and saw Alexis shaking her head and Castle was cleaning up what looked to be pieces of plates scattered on the floor.
She laughed at the sight and asked, "What happened?"
Castle and Alexis both turned and said, "Kate!"
She laughed at them, "That's just scary..."
Alexis pointed at Castle and said, "Daddy tried to juggle some plates. And he broke them."
Kate smirked and shook her head. She started for the refrigerator, but Castle stopped her, "Let me sweep first. I don't want either of you girls walking on the floor. You could get some of the pieces stuck in your foot."
Alexis rolled her eyes at her father, "Well if you hadn't been acting silly daddy, then it never would have happened..."
Castle looked at his daughter and he heard Kate laugh softly. Looking at the two girls he loved more than anything in the world, he shook his head and said, "I hope the baby is a boy. There's entirely too much ganging up on your poor old daddy."
Kate smiled and told Castle, "I don't think your poor Castle."
He looked at her, smiled and said, "Funny. You're a regular comedian. Just for that I should make you cook breakfast."
Alexis looked horrified and Kate smiled, "I could do it and without breaking three plates in the process."
"Yeah daddy..."
He looked at them and shook his head smiling. He finished sweeping the floor and then turned to pick up the spatula. He finished making the pancakes and took the bacon out of the oven. Then, he poured them all glasses of orange juice. Kate took a bite of the bacon and closed her eyes. It was heavenly. She smiled at him and said, "Thank you."
"For what?"
Kate whispered, "For being you..."
Castle felt a lump in his throat. He could see that he was making quite the impression on her. He was determined not to let her go this time. He'd let her slip away once and he'd learned his lesson. In the most painful way. He watched her love another man and it nearly killed him. This was his chance to show her how great they could be together and he wasn't going to screw it up. He was going to be the man that she needed. Loving Kate was easy. It just came naturally to him. He knew what a wonderful gift he'd been given. The chance at a future with Kate. Nothing could be better to him.
He hadn't been paying attention and he felt something hit him in the head. He looked at say a balled up napkin sitting near his plate. He looked at the two other occupants of the room and they both had innocent looks on their faces. Too innocent.
He smiled and asked, "Who threw this?"
They both shrugged and Kate smiled, "We aren't telling. Are we Alexis?"
Alexis smiled and giggled, "Nope."
Castle loved the sound of his daughter's laughter. So, he stood up and said, "I can't get Kate to rat out the napkin thrower, but I know my daughter's weakness." He wiggled his fingers and walked closer to his little girl. She shrieked and jumped out of her chair. Giggling and saying, "No daddy!"
Castle laughed manically and chased after her. Kate knew the exact moment when Castle caught her because the little girls laughter increased in pitch and duration. It was music to Kate's ears and she knew in that moment, that her baby was incredibly lucky to have Alexis and Castle in it's life. To be born into the family with this much love and laughter. It was something she hadn't expected, but was glad to have found. Something that she would need even more in the coming months. It made her fall in love with Castle just a little bit more. If that was even possible.
She finished her breakfast and walked upstairs to get ready for her doctor's appointment. The sound of Alexis laughing filled the loft and her heart with joy and hope for the future...
