You bloody traitor…

Whoa! What?

You're a traitor to our kind… creating twisted abominations of everything!

Seriously? Are you Serious? Glee?

No, I'm not Sirius I'm Severus…

…You look nothing like Alan Rickman or J-

YOU DARE SPEAK HIS NAME? YOU FILTHY HALF BLOOD!

All I said was Alan Rickm-

SCILENCE EGG PLANTER! YOU'VE BEEN FLAPPING YOUR LIPS FAR TOO LONG!

Quote of the shows… okay then…

CALLETE!

Thank you… Full name please

Darren. Fucking. Criss.

WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE, YOU TOASTER!

Fine… My name is Darren Everett Criss.

Finally so Darr-

AND I PLAY KURT'S BOYFRIEND ON GLEE!

DAMNIT DARREN YOU LITTLE SHIT!

Darren sowwy

Don't you use those puppy dog eyes on me mister!

Don't you want the waayy I feel for you?!

Reference your own songs… yeah sure… I'm actually surprised you even remembered them…

Always the tone of surprise…

It's sarcasm.

Darren doesn't know?

*sigh When is your birthday?

February 5th of 1987

Finally some progress!

I like your fez…

Shit I jinxed it…

Bow ties are cool…

Darren I swear to wizard god-

I'm the Doctor…

SHUT UP!

Come with me to the TARDIS!

Are you high?

I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLD SHINNING, SHIMMERING SPLENDID TELL ME PRINCESS WHEN LAST DID YOU LET YOUR HEART DECIDE-

I love Disney and Doctor Who… but if you don't shut your head up right now; Michelle Kwan will unscrew your head and drop the wishing pennies down your throat.

Okay…

Where are you from?

San Francisco, Cali

Why do you wear the pink sunnies?

I had red ones then I lost them so I just got pink ones…

So it wasn't your top choice?

No I –

FELLOW DIKRATS OUR LIFE IS A LIE!

Is it that important?

YES IT IS! FOR THE LOVE OF ALBERT EINSTIEN AND RED VINES IT'S YOUR TRADEMARK!

I'M SORRY!

SORRY DOESN'T HELP!

What do you want from me? …..Yeah, it's plain to see…That baby you're beautiful and it's nothing wrong with you it's me…

STOP MAKING EVERYTHING A SONG!

I can't help it!

Also that's the wrong verse.

I'm used to it…

I bet you are.

Hey!

This is why TV is good for you… you have takes….

Thanks…

No problem chippy!

Chippy?

Your tooth!

Right… that was from a bagel…

Famous Harry Potter can't face even a bagel!

Starkid Chippy, Moonshoes Chippy, Traversing the Galaxy to fairy land!

Fairy land?

Tooth fairy duh…

I like the color green!

Yeah so does the rest of the world… hey everybody let's go green!

We're going grrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnn nn!

That's AJ's song!

Yeah so?

You can't just sing an AJ Holmes song!

Did you know that he was a replacement for Brian Rosenthal in MAMD?

Yeah…

Well if you didn't I would have had a good comeback…

That's nice dear.

I would have-

Don't be upset darling it happens to the be- well most of us…

Did you call me dear and darling?

I'm trying to be nurturing and caring DARRE-EN!

Okay sorry… continue…

There, there sweetie it's all right…

It's just hurts you know? Loving someone and not having them love you back.

Wait what? Love?

I mean- it's nothing…

Tell me!

No!

Yes!

No!

Yes!

NO!

No!

Yes!

HA

Crap… it's a long story…

I can listen all day.

*sigh fine it's Julia.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo do you looovvee her?

I wish…

Then what? What do you mean you wish?

Yeah… I love Jaime.

Crap.

What?

Nothing.

Did you interview her yet? Does she like me? Does she hate me?

Darren, calm down.

I have to know!

You're in a rage! It's the maddest you've ever been!

In all seriousness she is dating someone else. Sorry.

Who?!

Marty Scanlon.

Him?!

Yeah why?

He's a playa.

A beach?

No! I mean a player.

Ohhhhhhhhhhh.

Yeah he's a heartbreaker…

No song really? Out of all the songs in the world you can't think of 1 that has 'heart breaker' in it?

This is not a singing matter!

*gasp

I have to tell Jaime…

No!

why the hell not?

She's happy with him and if you truly loved her you would be happy for her.

I don't want her to get hurt.

What if Marty changed?

What if he didn't?

Darren…

Fine! I'll leave it… for now…

Good. So what about Julia?

She's my girlfriend.

I see…

I don't want to hurt her either. She is fantastic, beautiful, talented, and funny but she's not Jaime.

What are you going to do?

I don't know… that's the problem… if I leave Julia for Jaime then it's going to be a huge fight and I will ruin our friendship and her and Jaime's too.

I don't know what to say Darren…

Yeah… I'm stuck…

Well we're out of time… ladies and gentleman Darren Criss!

Bye!

Well that chapter had some deeper things. I hope you liked it! R&R please!

Love mysterygirl 22