"Wow!" you say. "Two updates in one day? Mird, you must actually care about us!"
No I don't. Ijustlovethisstorylots.
Also, I just realized that the Sue mentioned in chapter one hasn't found her way into the story yet. Epiiiiic plot hole.
Chapter Seven
Character Flaws-- In which Luna rambles, because she is most definitely NOT a Sue
"When I was a baby, my dad tried to sacrifice me in some kind of insane alchemic ritual," I said angstily, wiping a tear from the corner of my bright purple orb.
"That's terrible," Ed breathed, instantly transforming into some sort of kind and caring super-boyfriend.
"Yes, well," I said quietly. "I've learned to live with the knowledge that my father is a nutjob. I am an extremely strong human being in that way."
"What's his name?"
"He doesn't have one."
Ed blinked. "Er. Why not?"
"He doesn't need one," I explained matter-of-factly. "He exists only for the purpose of giving me a backstory and appearing in my flashbacks every now and then. When he's not doing that, he just disappears. Kind of like how kindergarteners imagine that their teachers go into sleep mode at the school when they aren't teaching." (1)
"Oh," said Ed. "That makes sense."
"Of course it makes sense. Everything I say makes sense, unless, of course, it doesn't make sense, in which case it probably wasn't said by me-- it was most likely Mird playing little mind games and making me quote stupid things that no one's ever heard of." I sat back, feeling satisfied, and enjoyed the massage-like feeling of the train, which was rattling along the tracks. Unfortunately, it caused no pain, or relief, or any other interesting feeling in my automail limb, because I had none. I made a mental note to change that at some point in the near future.
"You ramble a lot," Ed said observantly.
"It's a character flaw," I explained. "My writer was very wary of Sues, because no one likes Sues. She decided that Sues have no character flaws, and no one likes Sues, so I should therefore be the opposite, because then I won't be a Sue, and so people will me and will, by association, also like her."
"She must be smart if she managed to make you so not-Sue-ish," Ed said, his voice laced with admiration.
"Yes," I said as I adjusted my size 32E bra, blinked my deep blue eyes, smiled sweetly, ate some pocky, read a classic novel and sneezed out some jewel-encrusted golden boogers. "Now you know where I get it from."
Two years previously
edwardelricluvr4evr: hiiiii!!!1
neko_kitty_katie94: omg jessieeeee!!!
edwardelricluvr4evr: guess wat? im thinking of writin a fanfiction for FMA!!!
neko_kitty_katie94: omg srsly? can i help make the oc????
edwardelricluvr4evr: lol sure. i already started kinda tho so ya........ her names luna cuz u know japanese names r mary sueish and i dont want 2 make a mary sue so ya
neko_kitty_katie94: ooo ya good idea..... ooo i have an idea for a state alchemist title!!! the shadow alchemist like she could make shadows move and do stuff or something idk
edwardelricluvr4evr: omg kewl but she needs an interestiong past but all the ocs do human transmutation and have automail so i dont want 2 do dat
neko_kitty_katie94: hmmmmmm..... um mabs her dad could be some weirdo creeper alchemist (lolz) and try to sacrifice her and she sees the truth gate thingy??? cuz she needs 2 b able 2 transmute without circles 2 b in da military cuz otherwise no 1 that young would get in thats the only reason ed got in
edwardelricluvr4evr: ya omg thnx these r awesome ideaz katiee!!!!! im going 2 start writing soon but 1st she needs character flaws cuz mary sues dont have those and she cant b a mary sue (like i said b4)
neko_kitty_katie94: ummm mabs she could b rly rambley?? its a dumb idea srry i just came up with it off the top of my head......
edwardelricluvr4evr: omg nooo thats an awesome ideea!!!!1 im going 2 write the first chapter now kk ttyl~!!! (2)
Four months passed. Luna the Shadow Alchemist became very popular among her (somewhat limited amount of) readers.
Then, edwardelricluvr4evr started signing onto FFnet less... and less... and less... Until all her readers took a hint and decided that Luna's story may as well have been discontinued for the number of updates they were getting.
Luna was sent to the Unfinished Fanfiction Center, where she stayed for a good two years until that fateful day all the way back in chapter four.
(1) There's a rumor that Mrs. Cope (science teacher) lives in the computer annex at school. She has a mattress and a mini fridge in there.
(2) I kind of died inside while writing this bit…
By the way, if edwardelricluvr4evr and neko_kitty_katie94 actually exist… I, er, didn't mean it. Um. Sorry.
