"Do you, Ohgi Kaname, take Villetta Maria Nu to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
That was a stupid question, Kallen couldn't help thinking. Obviously, if they had chosen to get up at seven A.M. in front of the alter to look into each other's eyes like a flock of dazed sheep...
But the way her surrogate brother said "I do," without hesitation and the way he planted a sloppy kiss on Villetta's lips erased all doubt from Kallen's mind that this was a perfect wedding. She was happy for Ohgi that he had found the woman of his dreams, even if she was Britannian.
Gino was the first to applaud, which didn't surprise her one bit. He was the romantic. He believed that she would eventually fall for him, and he was right.
She laughed at his irresistible, charming smile.
"What's so funny?" he asked her as the sounds of clapping continued to fill the cathedral.
"Nothing. Nothing is funny," she said, but there was something about him that made her smile involuntary. Like it was infectious, and she couldn't help herself from doing it.
As people began to stand up and yell and cheer and whistle and clap for the newlyweds, Kallen could not pull her eyes away from Gino. Before, she would have never considered the idea of marrying for herself. But now she watched him unconsciously, and she thought: I could spend the rest of my life with him and I wouldn't mind.
The confetti fell on the floor like a blanket of snow. Kallen picked a silver piece of the ground and slipped it in her clutch purse. She wasn't sure why she did it. But it felt like the right thing to do at that moment.
She didn't know how to dance. So it took at least three painfully awkward minutes to teach her a simple form of the waltz, and finally as Gino twirls her around on the ballroom, she said something that she always had wanted to ask, but never had the courage to do so.
"Why did you save me, back when I destroyed Suzaku's Lancelot?" she asks, her cheeks pink with exertion.
He holds her close, a hand placed on her waist and another on her small shoulders. The closure made her breathless, and it's one of the things that made her forget all about Lelouch.
"Why wouldn't I save you?" he asked her. They separated, but their hands were clasped together.
"I don't know," she said. "How well did you know me?"
"Well enough to know that the world you were fighting for made a lot more sense than the one Suzaku had in mind."
"I used to think you were annoying," Kallen stated bluntly. "The only thing we had in common was piloting souped up Knightmare Frames."
"That was the thing that attracted me to you in the first place," Gino pointed out. "Heck, it wouldn't have mattered if you were a guy. I would have been interested to see the Ace of the Black Knights any day of the week."
She scowled.
"Will you please shut up? I'm trying to tell you something."
He smiled. "Okay. Sorry. Go on."
"It took me a long time to get over Lelouch," she admitted. "Do you remember when I stayed at your apartment for a night?"
Gino nodded. It had been the turning point for everything.
"Well... I had a dream about Lelouch. I was sucked into this fantasy world, the cloudy kind. And what do you know, there he was, clear as day." Kallen's eyes focused on Gino's face as the dream organized itself in her mind. "Usually, my dreams that involve Lelouch replay the scene of him being stabbed again and again."
"He said that he'd chosen to visit only two people on Earth, because that was how everything worked in the afterlife. And that I was one of them. The other one was Zero."
She took a deep breath. "The only thing I remember after that was Lelouch saying he loved me."
Gino's breath was cut short. "Kallen, how can you be sure that a dream-"
"That's when I knew Lelouch was a fucking liar after all this time," she said pleasantly, as if Gino hadn't interrupted her narration at all. "He was a bastard who took a lot of people for granted, including me."
"Oh." For once in his life, Gino is struck speechless.
"What, did you expect that I was going to keep pining after a dead man?" She grinned mischievously. "C'mon, Gino, give me some more credit."
He puts his hand to his face. "Jeez, Kallen, give me a heart attack why don't you."
Now her smile was softer, more womanly. "Nice to know you're afraid of losing me."
She offered her hand to him. "Teach me the tango?" she suggested gaily. "It takes two to tango, you know."
Anya had watched the scene with a cool eye, sipping her sparkling cider as she sat in one place at the dance floor.
So Gino had found a girlfriend. And even more unbelievably, it was Kouzuki Kallen, the former ace of the Black Knights.
She wasn't sure how she wanted to feel about that. Part of her was a little jealous, but not because she liked Gino in that way. It was because she ached for the sort of attention that Gino used to give to her and now didn't anymore because things were changing.
There was a time where he had to be cheerful for the sake of three people. Now that Suzaku was dead and Anya lived a thousand miles away from Japan, it felt like Gino had changed as well. He looked more serious, more inclined to take things as they came instead of living in a world perpetually drenched in sunshine.
Lost in her thoughts, it took her a few seconds to realize that a person was speaking to her.
"Sorry, what did you say?" she asked, turning her head to reply. Then froze.
"I said, do I know you from somewhere?"
A boy that she had never seen before was standing before her, champagne in one hand and a camera in another.
"Uh..." She opened her mouth to reply, but nothing came out.
"Wait, you're Anya Earlstreim, right? I read your blog all the time." He had dimples. And a head of brown curls.
"Thanks. Who are you?" She managed to ask him without sounding like an idiot. Then she realized that was impossible if he realized that her eyes were fixed on a point beyond his face. She didn't want him to know who she really was: a flustered yet flattered, orange-farming sort of girl who had no experience when it came to the opposite sex.
"My name's Russell White. Groovy wedding, huh?"
She shrugged. She had an okay evening, but nothing spectacular had happened to her ever since arriving in Japan.
"How'd you get invited?" he asked.
Anya pointed to Gino. "I'm an old friend of his, but I don't really know a lot of people here."
"Oh, so you know Gino?" Russell said, pleased that they had something in common. "He's on the student council. He's really popular at Ashford Academy. I'm on the student council too, but I guess I'm too nerdy for the student population."
"I didn't know he was going out with Kouzuki," she said. It seemed the right thing to say, considering she wasn't a student at Ashford anymore.
"Yeah, it was pretty big news for a while," Russell nodded, taking a sip of his champagne. "But I guess they kind of gravitate towards each other."
"They do?"
"I don't know. I guess maybe it was something that had to do in the war." He shrugged. "A lot of girls like Gino, but he never looked at them twice. And I know personally that a lot of guys tried to hit on Kallen, but she's not that kind of girl."
"They're pretty good pilots," Anya said. "I fought with them during the rebellion."
"Too cool!" Russell exclaimed, and snapped a picture of her. She blinked once, utterly bemused by his over enthusiasm.
"You're kind of weird," she said, tilting her head. "Mind if I take a picture of you for my blog?"
"No, not at all." He gave her a big smile, and she clicked the shutter valve on her camera. "Sorry for talking so much. I do that when I'm nervous."
"It's okay. I like people who talk a lot," Anya admitted. "I never have anything interesting to say."
It was the reason why she liked Gino and hung around him. And Russell, well, he seemed to be all right. And he was nice. If every guy was like him, maybe she would have more friends.
"Are you kidding?" Russell asked. "You're a Knight of Rounds. You live with a half cyborg human and a kunoichi."
"Well, they're more like ordinary people once you get used to them," Anya said. "Once you get past the fact that they could kill you in three seconds, it's all good."
She giggled at his expression. "Jeez, I'm kidding. I'm pretty sure it's around ten seconds."
He seemed flustered and began to tap his foot. "So, uh, now that we're properly acquainted and everything, care to join me for a dance?"
Anya considered it. She knew how to dance. At the Aries Palace, it was one of the things all proper ladies had been instructed to do.
"Sure," she said.
"I'm going to kill that kid," Jeremiah said, and rose up to do so.
"You are not," Sayoko interrupted sharply. "You do that, and I'll throw sixteen individually marked senbon on all your pressure points."
He scowled and sat back down. "Still! She's only sixteen."
"You're forgetting that she's trained in military combat, kills without hesitation, and wants to be a ninja." The maid retorted, and took another bite of the sumptuous wedding cake. "I'm sure if that boy lays one hand on her she would be qualified to retaliate in the most effective way possible."
Jeremiah glanced at Sayoko to make sure she was serious. She was.
"Your nunchucks are sticking out," he said, not impudently. "Are you doing that to intimidate him?"
"Maybe," was the only reply he got.
Shinozaki Sayoko was a person who was raised from birth to protect. She was the shadow: imperceptible, but always there. It was something that Jeremiah had admired ever since spending some time in the same room together. He often wondered what happened before her life under serving Lelouch. Not to mention she was probably the only woman to equal him in terms of combat ability and loyalty.
The thing about Sayoko was her lack of individuality. Anya thought it was peculiar how she could agree to anything. Anything Anya wanted (which admittedly wasn't much) she got, no matter how ludicrous it was.
But Jeremiah persisted in studying her. As a man, he was attracted to her, but he had already pledged loyalty to another woman. Although Sayoko was quite different than Marianne, he had learned to appreciate her as a mother figure to Anya.
"Do you see part of Nunnally in Anya?" he questioned her.
"Occasionally," Sayoko answered. "I guess that's why I feel a need to take care of Anya."
She straightened up, and asked a question of her own. "And what are your reasons, Orange-san? Is it because Nunnally-sama asked you to entrust Anya in your hands?"
"I..." he hesitated to tell her the truth. It would be so easy to confide in Sayoko, but he did not want this woman to judge him for his mistakes in his youth.
He cleared his throat, choosing his words carefully. "I take care of Anya because I understand the feeling of being manipulated. Before I was refitted into this body which I had no desire to do so, I was a pathetic excuse of a man. But after breaking free of my chains, it was like... being reborn again. And I think that after giving Anya her old memories, she's regaining interest in life."
He gestured to the couple dancing on the floor, Anya's movements graceful while the boy opposite her seemed so clumsy in comparison. But they seemed to have a good time.
"Basically, I see myself in her," he concluded. "And I want her to grow up to be a person she can be proud of. Not detached or... or what she used to be."
"I see," Sayoko commented, sipping her black coffee. She liked it strong.
"Metaphorically or literally?"
"Both," Sayoko replied, smiling as they observed Anya laughing at something that the boy said from a distance. "You're a good man, Jeremiah Gottwald."
You have no idea, Sayoko, the blue-haired man thought. You are dead wrong.
They kept themselves good and sober. Not that it wasn't fun once in a while to drink occasionally, but Kallen couldn't help thinking that tonight had to be something special - an unforgettable night shared with people she loved and fought with. Gino was playing a few songs on his cello with the ensemble that Villetta put together. Now they struck up a lively tune, quick and frivolous.
"Care to dance?" asked a fairly young man. He was rather good-looking, and he had a voice she vaguely recognized.
Kallen gave him a once over and agreed. She was in a good mood to humor anybody, including Tamaki.
"Sure," she said. Gino didn't mind that a lot of men wanted to dance with her; he knew that she was a beautiful girl and would attract the attention of quite a few people.
But this person was more forward than anybody else. For instance, the people she had danced with never dared to place a hand on her waist. Nor had she encountered someone who was so graceful on their feet, or knew their way so well. This man was leading her, and she found it exhilarating.
When the music was over, it felt as if someone had poured a bucket of ice-cold water over Kallen's head. She finally recognized who he was.
"What are you doing here?" she said, face pale as chalk.
"I?" he asked, chuckling darkly. "I wanted to see how you were doing, Kallen."
"You - you - " she stuttered. "You shouldn't be wandering around here."
"If it took you so long to figure me out, Kallen, then I'm a safe man."
Kallen observed his face without fear now. "You've changed."
"So have you."
"I met a man who wasn't afraid to accept me," she said fondly, thinking of Gino. "He is really quite amazing."
"Unfortunately for me, a person like that has already been winked out of existence," Suzaku replied back, his hands still on her waist. "You look beautiful, as usual."
"Thank you, Suzaku," she said softly. "How is Nunnally?"
Now the ensemble struck up a serenade written by Tchaikovsky. They danced again, but it was slower and Kallen had time to concentrate on both her feet and her companion.
"Different. You would be surprised how well she's taking her job seriously."
"Is she still..." Kallen wasn't sure what to say. "Happy?" she suggested.
His hand involuntarily squeezed hers. "I don't know."
Suzaku was being careful around her. He had no intention of provoking her, especially to a person who could reveal him as Zero.
"How are you doing?" Kallen asked, for lack of anything better to say.
"I'm doing my job."
"I asked how you were doing, not if you were doing your job," Kallen pointed out.
He sighed. "Well, to be honest, I think it's events like these that restore my faith in humanity."
It sounded so harsh to Kallen's ears, but his green eyes softened. Although he was wearing a face mask that disguised him very well, he hadn't bothered to change the color of his eyes.
"Do you dream of Lelouch?" he said, to change the subject.
"Sometimes," she said, her eyes sad and so depressingly blue. "But his death, I think, isn't the most important part of his life."
She had been thinking a lot lately about the fact of the matter. It wasn't easy to think about Lelouch's achievements from her perspective; after all, she had stuck with him from the very start. But out of all the people in the world, it would have taken someone truly selfless from the start to execute his decisions.
"You think that?" Suzaku asked her. He was inquisitive, not combative.
"Yeah, I do." Kallen said.
She disentangled herself from his gloved hands. "It's okay if you don't think so. But Lelouch wouldn't have wanted us to wallow in sadness for so long."
Suzaku had already seen her leave. She wouldn't understand, perhaps she'd never understand. But the Geass command placed upon him was a curse that would always follow him wherever he went. He could not get rid of Lelouch's shadow that easily.
He didn't love Lelouch like she apparently had... but it still wasn't fair to just leave him like that.
Suzaku put his hands in his pockets, watching her head towards the stage pavilion and wishing that she would come back to him. Even if she belonged to someone else now.
Gino was putting away his cello and unscrewing his bow when Kallen caught his eye dancing with an unidentified guest. He frowned, which was uncommon for him. Usually he preferred to smile and laugh and annoy people with his perpetual goofiness, but this guy was bothering him. Gino had a sixth sense when it came to detecting someone he knew, and he was pretty sure that Kallen had a connection to this mysterious guest.
However, he was relieved when she walked back to him, and the first thing he did was to give a light kiss on her cheek.
"Something wrong?" she asked him, her blue eyes full of concern. God, she was beautiful. Sometimes he thought that karma was going to send a stroke of bad luck or whatever in exchange for this brief time that they had together.
"Can't you look more cheerful when someone's kissing you?" he teased her. She blushed a pretty-making pink, and mumbled, "Sorry for asking..."
"No, it's okay. I was just wondering who was the guy who danced with you last."
"Oh," she said, smile vanishing. "He was a friend of mine."
The stupidest thing about having Gino as a boyfriend was the fact that you couldn't lie to him and get away with it. And this wasn't a conversation Kallen had ever planned to have with him. Ever.
"What kind of friend?"
She scowled. "Hey, what's with you giving the third-degree all of a sudden?"
"Just curious," he said lightly, fiddling with her dark strands of hair. He noticed that in the right light, it was the color of a bright ruby. And in the shadow, it resembled a dark maroon.
"You're a possessive type, aren't you?" Kallen asked him, amused that he was having a moment to himself. "That's not healthy, Gino."
He smiled, then said, "Can you do me a favor? It's not bad or anything," he added.
"Sure," she agreed.
"You mind taking care of my dorm while I'm away?" He asked, and pressed into her hand an old fashioned key with two golden prongs at the end. "You know, keeping it clean and everything."
"All right," she said. "No problem."
It was hard enough pretending she was going to be fine after he left. Harder still when he kissed her neck and planted light kisses on the side of her jaw. No one was looking at them in the darkness, and for that she was grateful.
"Think of me always?" he asked her.
"Always," she vowed.
The wedding banquet ended at midnight, and Kallen put on her coat. The night was warm, but she felt terribly cold at the thought of facing tomorrow without Gino. She was taking the train home from the government building, and she felt hollow inside. It was a reminder of what Lelouch did to her shortly after his death, tearing her to pieces.
They stood at the balcony, lingering in those precious minutes that were slipping away like sand in an hourglass.
"Cold?" he asked her, and she shook her head.
He hugged her anyway. This time, it was a friendly hug, a goodbye-for-now hug that could only be executed by Gino to his friend.
"Mm. You're warm," she said, resting her chin on his shoulder. Gosh, she thought, I'm turning into a big softie. All because of this idiot.
"You don't think I'm evil for going away, do you?" he asked after releasing her. "I could quit if you want..." Money wasn't an issue when it came to his job. It was the nice thing about being born into nobility. You had so much of it that it was a relief to live without it.
"No," she said firmly. "I think we owe a debt to society. It's be a poor example if you just decided to quit because of someone like me."
Gino was an expert at figuring out body language, and he could see the cracks in her determined stance, her strong supple hands halfheartedly squeezing his. He could tell she meant every word that she said, but at the same time could see the appeal of him being at her side all the time.
"If you say so. By the way, I wanted to give you something."
Kallen never liked gifts, because it meant something permanent. But this was Gino. He was different from everybody else because he understood that Kallen wasn't a person who would hand her heart on a platter. It would take time and care to win her over completely.
A flash drive resembling a red feather dangled from a leather necklace.
"For you. Consider it my symbol of everlasting love," he said, grinning in his silly way. "I hope you like it."
"Is that my... Guren key?" she asked, running her index finger over the familiar grooves.
"Yep," he said. "It's where your heart belongs."
"Oh," she said, and then her eyes started welling up. "Gino, you idiot, you shouldn't have..." No one had ever understood what it was really like to fly in a Knightmare Frame for the sake of flying and not for conquering or fighting or something completely unrelated to the wind and breathtaking view from below. They were sharing a pilot-to-pilot moment, and it was something that was indelible from their past. They might have different reasons for fighting, but in the end it was because they were damn good at what they did: flying.
"I take it that you like it?" he asked.
"Yes. Very much so," she said, and wiped her eye with her palm. "Geez, you must really like me, huh?"
She put it around her neck, and Gino was pleased to see that it fit her perfectly.
"I could write a book about the millions of things that I like about you," he said, simply and honestly. "But that would take too long."
"Always the romantic," she retorted, but it wasn't reprimanding.
"For instance," he said. "The first time I saw your face, I saw someone who was confident. Strong. Seriously badass, especially after you took out my float system on Tristan."
She smiled at the memory. If she could recall correctly, his first reaction was stating out loud for anyone to hear, "Wow, she looks prettier in real life than in the picture." She had been surprised that he had no qualms about admiring an attractive woman regardless of her being on Zero's right hand side.
"Then," he continued in his breezy, airy voice, "I realized that you had more layers to yourself than that. Especially after meeting you in prison."
He visited her exactly four times (not that she counted).
"So why didn't you, I don't know, say anything?" she asked curiously.
"Because it was obvious that you didn't like being a monkey on display," he answered her dismissively. "Plus I saw the monitor video with you beating up Suzaku. I didn't want to say anything to him, but he looked a real mess after you were finished with him."
She giggled. "Oh yeah, and then I said I was ready to die. I mean, a prisoner laid hands on a Knight of Rounds." People had been sentenced to death for far less than that.
"You, Kallen, are really just a piece of work," he said. "After asking the Stadtfelt versus Kouzuki question, I thought maybe my chance to actually be with you was over. So I enjoyed it when you broke out of prison."
"Really," she said skeptically. "You didn't even get to fight me."
"Doesn't matter," he said, shrugging. "Seeing you fight was good enough for me back then."
"Actually, I wanted to fight you. Not Suzaku," she admitted. "It would have been something new. Exciting." Suzaku was a good pilot, to be sure, but even Kallen liked a bit of variety when it came to combat.
"Glad to know I made an impression," he said cheerfully. "Now, you tell me what you like about me."
"Gino, please," she said, a little embarrassed. It was one thing to hear her good attributes and another to tell what kind of attributes she liked in her boyfriend.
"Tell me," he said. "You totally owe me."
"I like how hot you look in your flight suit," was the first thing that popped into her head, but she would have rather stabbed herself with her pink purse than to actually admit that to him. She had, after all, a sense of pride.
So she decided to tell him the second best thing about him.
"I like the fact that you don't bullshit around," she said. "I mean, if you want something, you'll get it."
It was true. People didn't notice it, but Gino Weinberg had goals and aspirations just like anybody else. In his case, it was to eliminate Britannia's ridiculous theory of Social Darwinism. It sounded fancy on paper, but what it really meant was getting rid of the blatant racism that Britannia had caused in the first place. Gino had already pointed out that Suzaku had defeated Britannia's best soldiers in less than five minutes. What was more humiliating was that the video had millions of views over the Internet, making the Knight of Rounds look like a joke.
Not that Gino minded it personally; it was his father that suffered more than he did.
Kallen leaned back, taking it in. Gino was so different than Suzaku. He was confident whereas Suzaku was meek, and it was a wonder how they had ever gotten to be friends.
"I like how you weren't afraid to open up to me. That was... new." Kallen said. Then, in a smaller voice, "I'm not good at relationships, so I don't know how much to give or take."
He reflected on this. "Then that's because people haven't really gotten to know you. After that, it's easy."
Gino could take anything and make it sound better than it was. It was a gift. It was probably why people were naturally attracted to him, like moths to a flame, whereas Kallen was rough around the edges. If he was a flame, then she was a torch in the dark, dispelling shadow to make room for light.
"You believe that?" she asked, just for the purpose of hearing his voice.
"I do," he said easily, as if it was no big deal. "Look, Kallen, you've gone through stuff that no one understands. You've suffered enough. Don't try to strain yourself."
"Right," she said softly, knowing full well that it was easier said than done.
"Close your eyes," he said.
Their lips met, his like fire to hers. The taste of him was intoxicating. A sweet flutter ran up her belly and it felt like the earth had no gravity as his strong arms held her waist and a hand pressed against the nape of her neck.
When it was over, Gino sang a verse of a song he once heard. "Hello hello. When I say hello you say goodbye, you say goodbye..." To Kallen, it seemed as if it his voice was blending into the noises of the other guests, and he had faded into the darkness of the balcony.
She opened her eyes once she could no longer hear him, and she knew that he had planned this. To make it less painful. To suggest the impermanence of it all.
But he was gone. And she wouldn't see him until he came back.
I am not going to cry, she said sternly to herself. Look at you. You're losing your edge, she reminded herself.
She shivered in her coat. Then Kallen was astonished to find a piece of paper, carefully folded, in the corner of her pocket.
She took it out, at first not understanding anything. It was contained words in Japanese calligraphy, and it was so perfect that she thought Gino must have copied over and over again to get it right, to clear any possible misunderstandings just in case.
Aishiteru.
Kallen looked over the horizon, where a few stragglers were waving farewells. Some were still dancing, many tipsy from too much champagne. Strangers started singing, a few stumbling. There were so many people down there that it made her heart ache, and yet she could not spot one who was six feet tall with messy blond hair and absolutely perfect in every conceivable way.
In this ocean of people, she thought as a solitary tear ran down her cheek, I could only love you.
author's note: This chapter was really really long, so I hope readers will forgive me for delaying the chapter.
Reviews are much appreciated, I love you all, hope you recommend this to all sorts of people. :D And of course, if you have concrit, it would be awesome.
