A/N: Thank you all so much for your reviews!! You all keep me writing! A special thanks to nikkie3219-your reviews are my fav girl!!! Well onto the next chapter in our saga! I hope you all like it! It took me a while to write this! Please....PLEASE....PLEASE review! I got like 300 hits on this story in one day!! I would GREATLY appreciate some reviews! PLEASE! (this is my horrid attempt at begging! LOL!) With all of that being said-this story is rated M for a reason. There will be some explicit scenes and language coming up. You have been warned!

For those of you who want to know: I listened to some Nickelback, TOOL and Seether while writing this chapter! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters! Stephenie Meyer does! I am sooo glad she created them for us to play with though!

Chapter 7

His throbbing stiffness rocked in and out of my slick center as my body relished in the pleasure I was receiving. I could feel every hair on my body, every cell of skin. It was like my senses were hyper sensitive. I had a new understanding of why people could be addicted to sex.

"I love you Bella" Jacob sang sweetly, pushing me over the edge. I moaned as bright colors washed through my senses. "I love you Bella and I am not going anywhere. You are the only one for me. You complete me. I am not going back to Charlotte. It's not going to happen. Especially not now that I have you back.

"I love you Jacob. I love you with my heart and soul." I replied as he shot his load into me pushing me to the precipice once again.

"No…no…no" I cried out in my sleep. My mind lost between reality and subconscious.

"I'm sorry Bella. You know I love you, but I can't do this anymore. I know I'm meant to be with Charlotte. She's pregnant and we are getting married. I asked her last night." Jacob stated as if it were coincidental. He stated it as if I were going to just bow out gracefully.

"NO" I let out a guttural, primal scream. "I will not let you go Jake. I love you…I love…how could you do this to me? You said I was the only one for you. How long…how long Jake?"

He started to say something and the green haze overcame me. I sucked in a deep breath letting the scent fill me completely. It gave me an unyielding strength to push through the scenario that was playing out in front of my eyes. It gave me the power to change the outcome. It mended my broken heart with one hit.

"Bella" the velvety voice called out. "Come to me my love. I will protect you and love you for all eternity."

I looked around for something, anything to grasp onto. I looked for the voice, but there was no body attached to it. Jacob and the scene in my all too familiar childhood bedroom had disappeared. I was standing in the haze, absorbing it, letting it take full control of my body. I was letting it fix me, protect me and love me.

"Bella, please know that I never meant to hurt you. I do love you, but Charlotte is my life now. You have to understand." Jacob said as he reappeared in a sudden hole in the mist.

"NO" I screamed sitting up in bed. Sweat was dripping from every pore in my body as the reality of my world set in. I took several deep breaths to calm the panting. I glanced at my clock and realized that it was after eight in the morning. I got up and quickly took a shower. I couldn't be in this house again today. I decided to take my laptop to the local coffee shop and do some writing there. I dressed swiftly and opened the door to go down to the kitchen. I caught something in my peripheral vision and almost tripped as I looked down to the most beautiful arrangement of flowers I had ever seen. I picked them up and placed them on my dresser inhaling the sweet scent as I let it take over my senses. Soon I could hear drills and hammers outside and was ripped from my moment of solitude. I noticed that there was an envelope stuck in between blooms. I plucked it carefully so I didn't disturb the beautiful petals and opened it.

Bella,

Words seem to fail me when I am around you. I can be quite an articulate person, but somehow you invade my mind and my senses rendering me incapable of forming a sensible thought. I heard a song last night while going over plans for your house and it perfectly describes me and my life and what I hope to achieve. I have obviously made some mistakes already with you and I would very much like the chance to make it up to you. Please read these lyrics and keep me in mind.

This time I wonder what it feels like
To find the one in this life
The one we all dream of
But dreams just aren't enough
So I´ll be waiting for the real thing.
I'll know it by the feeling.
The moment when we're meeting
We'll play out like a scene straight off the silver screen
So I'll be holdin' my own breath
Right up to the end
Until that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with

`Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.

Tonight out on the street out in the moonlight
And damn it this feels too right
It's just like Déjà Vu
Me standin' here with you
So I'll be holdin' my breath
Could this be the end?
Is it that moment when
I find the one that I'll spend forever with?

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There's gotta be somebody for me like that.

`Cause nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.

You can't give up!
When you're lookin´ for that diamond in the rough
Because you never know but when it shows up
Make sure you're holdin` on
'Cause it could be the one, the one you're waiting on

'Cause nobody wants to be the last one there.
And everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Someone to love with my life in their hands.
There has gotta be somebody for me
Ohhhhhh.

Nobody wants to go it on their own
And everyone wants to know they're not alone.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There's gotta be somebody for me out there.

Nobody wants to be the last one there
'Cause everyone wants to feel like someone cares.
Is there somebody else that feels the same somewhere?
There has gotta be somebody for me out there.

I know these lyrics sound so forward and assuming, but that's me and you called me on that the other night. I just know what I feel and I know what I want! I won't be at your house for the next couple of days. I have some crews to oversee on the new development we are starting. Please let me know when you are ready to talk and for God's sake (and the sanity of my crew) don't go running around your house in those barely there shorts you wear! You will drive them all insane with desire. (LOL-this is my feeble attempt at making a joke. I mean no disrespect or offense)

Always, Edward

I read the note several times trying to put the lyrics in context with his life. I sighed deeply and sat on my bed reading the note again. He's very assuming and very forward, but maybe that's what I need. I know I feel a connection with him and it's so hard to deny when we are together. My heart is finally beating again after a long time of being still.

I will wait to leave. I have to wait a few days. To give myself some closure at least. It will hurt in the long run, but I have to do it. I have to see this out right. I thought as my stomach growled for the first time in twenty-four hours.

I sat the letter down and headed downstairs. Several workers nodded at me and smiled. I returned the smile with an attempt at warmth. I headed to the kitchen where the coffee was again already made.

"Morning princess of sunshine" Emmett's voice boomed over the drills and saws. "I am glad you decided to grace us with your presence today. I was starting to get a little worried about you." He smiled at me as I made my way to the coffee pot. "I am also glad you are at least wearing something more than you had on yesterday morning. It's not that much of an improvement, but it's better at least."

I snarled playfully at him and said "what's wrong with my clothes?"

"Well those shorts are pretty short and that tank top is very…ah…how should I say it…form fitting?" He laughed as my cheeks flushed.

"Should I go change," I whispered trying to hide my embarrassment.

"No please don't. I like you dressed just the way you are." He smirked and shoved my shoulder playfully.

"A: you shouldn't mess with me in the morning before coffee and B: I don't think Rose would like it if she heard you saying those things to me." I tried to look at him seriously, but his face had such a look of fear and anger mixed in that I started giggling. He shoved me in the shoulder again.

"You are so cynical." He laughed again and then turned to a basket sitting on the kitchen counter. "Oh this was delivered for you a little bit ago."

"Thanks" I said as I took the basket from him and observed the contents. It had two bottles of wine and some assorted cheeses.

"Who's it from" he asked playfully taunting me. "Do you have a secret admirer?"

I glared at him as I pulled the card that was nestled in the cheese.

Bells,

I am so sorry about everything. I have had a lot of time to think about my actions and I want to talk to you about them. Please call me when you are ready to talk. No strings attached. I promise.

Love, James

I stared at the card for several moments before moving. I must have had a pained look on my face because Emmett shook me lightly and said, "are you alright? Did someone die?"

I turned my attention back to him and very calmly said "no one died. It's from James."

"Oh" he sighed and said "do you want me to go kick his ass for you?"

I laughed an unexpected guffaw and he looked hurt. "Why are you laughing at me? You don't think I could take him?"

"No Emmett" I said between giggles. "It's not that. I would love for you to kick his ass, but it won't solve anything and it won't turn back time. What's done is done and it's in the past. It's time to move on." I shook my head gently as the giggles stopped. I really felt like Emmett was a big brother. Then my demeanor changed sharply as I realized what I would really be leaving behind. I had only known Emmett, Jasper and Edward for a short time, but they seemed like family. I felt like they were a part of my history, like I have known them forever.

"Bella" he said making me turn to face him. "I know I am not the most perceptive person, but you wear your pain on your sleeve. It's so obvious that you are broken. What happened to you? What has your soul shattered to pieces? I mean you don't have to answer…it's just that I feel like I see glimpses of who you really are sometimes, but then the guarded façade comes back and I can't help but wonder why."

I teared up silently at his genuine worry for me. I couldn't fault him for wanting to know more about it. He wasn't asking to gain entrance to my life. He was asking because he cared about me.

"Well Emmett unless you don't want to work today I don't think now is the time to rehash my past." I shifted my gaze to the floor as he laughed.

"Silly Bella I don't really have to be here. The worker's are pulling the load. Why don't we go get some breakfast? You look like you could use a friend."

"I would like nothing more Emmett. I just have to grab my laptop and then I will be ready."

He winked as I headed upstairs.

"So what happened to you?" Emmett asked as he slurped up the last of his chocolate milk. I couldn't help but smile at his child like tendencies.

"I don't know where to start. It's such a long and complicated story. It goes in so many directions, so many paths, I don't even know where they end or begin."

"How about you just start at the beginning?" He offered a warm, reassuring smile as I nodded.

"So I grew up in Forks, Washington. It's the rainiest place in the United States. I hated it from the moment I realized what the sun was. I made the best of it though. I had some good friends and a couple of boyfriends throughout my school years. My last boyfriend, Jacob Black, lived on the local Indian Reservation. He was my best friend and, I thought, my soul mate. We dated for four years, my high school years. It was great, I got to go to his school dances and he came to mine. We showed each other off like trophies." I said as I smiled at the memory.

"I was never one for dances or high school activities, but there was something about Jacob that made me do the things I really detested. We planned our wedding out and picked names for our children. We were attached at the hip for almost four years. The last six months of my senior year Jacob changed. He became withdrawn and basically told me that he needed to hang out with his friend's more. He needed 'guy time' as he liked to call it. I bowed out letting him have his 'guy time' while I hung out with a couple of girlfriend's of mine. Jake and I still spoke daily, but we only saw each other on the weekends. Once I found out I received a scholarship to the college in Wolcott I was so excited I could barely contain myself. I found out on a Wednesday so I made the short drive to Jacob's house. I knocked for a few minutes, but no one answered. I let myself in to leave him a note to call me when I heard the noises. I didn't realize what they were until I reached Jacob's bedroom door. I opened it slowly and gasped when I found him in bed with his best friend's sister Charlotte. I slammed the door and ran out of the house. I made it back to my house before breaking down, but I was a wreck. He called and stopped by repeatedly, but I refused to speak to him or see him. My Dad threatened him to never step foot on his property again. Jake left me alone for a week until my parent's went out of town for the weekend. I was on my couch watching a movie when the pounding on the front door made me jump out of my skin." I sat, staring at the wall reliving each memory as the pain slashed at my heart.

"BELLA" Jake screamed.

I ran to the door to open it and found Jake hunched over leaning up against a pillar on the porch. He stood and stumbled into the house. I knew he was drunk, but let him in anyway.

"What the fuck do you want Jake?" I asked as my adrenaline picked up.

"Bella…please…you have to listen to me. I love you so much and I am so sorry. I have been a wreck for the last two weeks. I can't live without you."

I watched as the tears fell silently down his cheeks. "Why did you do it?" I whispered so soft that I barely heard myself.

"I don't know what came over me. Charlotte has been hitting on me for months. I always brushed it off, but then I got to thinking about us getting married and spending the rest of our lives together. I realized that I am not good enough for you and slept with her."

"That makes absolutely no sense Jacob." I was seething with anger as his story continued.

"I know it doesn't make sense now, but it did at the time. I had to test the waters. I am such a piss poor excuse for a boyfriend. I love you Bells. I love you so much and I screwed up really bad. I am so sorry."

"Jacob your words are just spaces between us right now. Do you have any idea how bad you hurt me? Do you have any idea what I have gone through these past two weeks? I tried and devoted my life to the both of us and this is what I get in return." I stated as the tears started rolling down cheeks. My anger was turning to sadness as I stood there looking at what his actions turned us into.

"Bella please forgive me. Please, I am so sorry. I love you. I am begging you to give me another chance. I am begging you. I love you so much."

"I lost my resolve and gave in." I said as my memories faded back to the present. "I let him talk me into going down the path that we had originally started. Boy did I pay for that." I wiped my cheeks not even realizing that I was crying. Emmett had silent tears running down his cheeks and a look of saddened anger.

"Not even a week later he came to me and said that he was starting a life with Charlotte. She was pregnant and they were getting married. I don't even know how I made it through finals. I drowned myself in work trying to save enough money to get out of there the day after graduation. I couldn't take being there anymore. I hated it more and more with each passing day. So much of that last month is such a blur. I feel like my life didn't really start until I came here. I found myself here, I found my soul, but I have never been completely repaired. My heart has never been whole or right since."

"WOW" Emmett exclaimed as he wiped the tears from his cheeks. "That's heavy. No wonder…I mean…God Bella. I am so sorry you had to go through that. You don't even know how bad I want to find Jacob and kick his ass. How could anyone do that to you?"

"I guess I'm an easy target," I laughed darkly.

"Why would you say that?"

"I am naive. Well I was naive. I am more careful now about what situations I get myself into."

"Are you referring to James?" He asked narrowing his eyes at me while he waved the waitress over to get our check.

I sighed deeply and started my reasoning. "James and I have a different kind of relationship. He was my friend first before anything. Then we started casually sleeping together, but we weren't boyfriend and girlfriend. Just kind of like fuck buddies I guess. He never had any problems with me talking to other guys until you guys walked into our bar. He has a serious problem with Edward and I have no idea why. He just keeps telling me that he's not good for me."

Emmett laughed quietly and said "Edward is exactly what you need."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Look I've known Edward for years. He's one of the most genuine guys I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. He did his fair share of partying in school, but he never slept around. He's had like three serious girlfriends and they all ended mutually. He knows what he wants in life and it's like he just floats through waiting for that moment he's been looking for."

"You are a bit biased though aren't you?"

"I suppose I am, but I know him really well, probably better than I know myself. He's found what he's looking for here. I know by the way he carries himself. I know by the bitching he's done about screwing up his chances with you. I know because of the worry that creases his forehead even in sleep. He's head over heels for you Bella. You are the moment, you are the one he's been waiting for."

"Did he put you up to this?"

"No, why would you think that?"

I shook my head and laughed quietly. "I don't know. He just…he left a beautiful bouquet of flowers by my door this morning with a heartfelt letter. It was the most stunning thing I've ever received. I feel this connection with him that I've never felt with anyone, ever, in my entire life. At the same time I am terrified of getting hurt again. I am terrified of having nothing left of my heart."

"I can't sympathize with you, but I know Edward and he's stubborn. He's not going to give up on you. You would practically have to disappear and even then I don't know that he wouldn't spend the rest of his life looking for you."

I inhaled sharply when Emmett mentioned disappearing. He couldn't know my plans, but he must have noticed the surprise written on my face because he sighed deeply and said, "you aren't thinking of running are you Bella?" He looked at me through his eyelashes while he laced his fingers together.

I didn't answer him. I just sat there staring out the window.

"You know Rose and Alice would be heartbroken if you just left. You can't leave. I don't think I could live with Edward if you did. Just give him a chance. If you are planning on leaving please just give him a chance before you do. That's all I ask."

I nodded my head and took a deep breath. "You know I've never shared that whole story with anyone before. Alice and Rose know most of it, but I left out some details. I don't know why I feel so comfortable with you, but I do." I laughed at his expression of surprise and gratitude.

"I am glad I could be of assistance. Now will you please call Edward so he can stop riding my jock about what you are doing?"

"I will call him later. I have to get some writing done. I am behind schedule for sure. You don't need me at the house do you?"

"Nope we have everything under control. How about Jasper and I meet you back here for lunch?"

"I suppose some company for lunch would be nice. I will probably be sitting in the same booth." I giggled as he stood up. I stood too to head to the bathroom as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Bella please know that you are very well protected here with us. I would personally kick Edward's ass if he ever did anything to hurt you."

"Thank you Emmett" I squeaked.

"What the fuck" a voice said as I cringed further into Emmett's embrace.

A/N: OK...there you go! Please tell me what you think! PLEASE...PLEASE...PLEASE review!! Thanks in advance! ;)