"You're still hungry?"

"Aren't you?" Rey asks as she finishes the dried meat Kylo had on board.

Kylo's lips curve as he opens another packet of dried fruits and holds it out to her.

"Thanks." Rey bites into one of the fruits. "It's so sweet." She doesn't know why she's talking to him. Maybe because there's a fist twisting in her stomach, and Finn and Luke keep invading her mind, and she doesn't know whether she's lost her mind.

Kylo almost laughs—a strange sound, muffled and confused.

"I didn't get much food on Jakku," she reminds him. "Unkar Plutt kept restricting how much I earned. The only time I ever had something like this was when I found a downed ship… but then some friends stole it."

"I'm sorry."

Rey reaches for another. She doesn't know how to take his pity. "We should probably get a new ship, if we can."

"What's wrong with this one?"

"You're on the run from the First Order, remember?" she asks. "Don't you think this shuttle is a little conspicuous?" Lost mind or not, Rey doesn't want to die.

He shrugs.

"I didn't ask you to teach me how to die, Ben."

"Okay," Kylo snaps, clenching his fists.

"Do you know much about this bond we have?" she asks as she pops a third fruit in her mouth.

He shakes his head and gets up, moving towards the cockpit. Rey follows, frustration with herself tumbling and recognizing a new target. "Did your father teach you how to fly?"

Kylo stiffens. "Can we not talk about him?"

"For now," Rey acquiesces. "But you've got to face it sooner or later. I'm not going to the Dark Side like you." I'm not. I won't.

Kylo faces her, the light of the stars they're passing spotting his face. "I don't want you to."

Rey has no energy to contemplate his vague responses. She leans back in a chair, her mind swimming with thoughts of Finn and Chewie and Luke.

What do you think of me now? Rey's stomach churns and fear tingles in her fingertips. What if Finn hates her?

He came back for you, and you're leaving him? He's your friend.

The only friend she's ever had.

Rey presses her hand against her eyes so Kylo won't see her crying.

Dusk falls over her mind, and then she's standing in Cloud City.

A boy of no more than eight peers out a window, up at the sky. The boy—Ben—glances over his shoulder repeatedly, as if expecting someone to barge into the room.

"Where are they?" Ben finally asks.

"They'll be back soon, Master Ben," assures C-3PO. "Do you need anything?"

He shakes his head and drops down, against the glass windows, hugging his knees to his chest. He's sorry. Mother and Father are so angry, and they've been screaming at each other, and it's all because of him.

"You know where he comes from!" Father had yelled the night before.

"That's where I come from!" Mother retorted.

Ben doesn't understand.

Mother wants to send him to train with his uncle. "Luke's new padawans are gathering at a temple. It'd be safe for him, and—"

"That'd just get him more involved with this Force shit!"

What about me? Ben wants to cry every time he hears this argument. Don't you want me around?

Ben can't imagine leaving his parents. The idea fills him with so much terror he can't move. He presses his face into his knees and cries. Why is everyone afraid of me?

It's okay, a voice whispers in his mind, the guiding voice that always comes when he's scared. You're made for the Light Side, and the Dark, and they don't understand that. They don't understand the Force. Especially your father.

For years, Ben wanted this voice to go away, leave him alone, because after it comes he has terrible dreams. But the voice stays a constant presence when nobody else will.

I can show you the power of the Dark Side.

Rey looks, and she sees a teenaged Ben running through a desert—not Jakku—and smacking into a dark-clad figure.

"Shh," the man says. "We won't hurt you. We come from Supreme Leader Snoke."


Kylo has no idea where he is, and panic seeps through him.

"Where'd you get the girl?"

He turns and sees her. A girl with her hair in three-buns, crying, and a bloated creature sharpening metal nearby.

"Parents said they'd be back soon. Said they'd pay me."

"How much?" asks the other creature, spindly and gray and haggard.

"Not enough."

"How long ago?"

"Two weeks."

"They aren't coming back, then, Unkar. You know it. I know it."

"They are coming back!" Rey insists, climbing to her feet. "Soon. They'll be back soon."

"I'll buy her," offers the creature.

"Hm." Unkar lays his knife down and studies the being.

"You can't!" shrieks Rey. "I need to—my parents are coming back! They need to—"

"Quiet, girl," Unkar orders.

"No! I'll work. I'll wash your things. The knives and the scraps. And you can feed me for it instead of for free. Don't give me away!"

"Fine," Unkar grouses. The other creature sneers and scuttles off.

Kylo gasps and jerks from the dream, blinking as he turns and finds Rey gaping at him.

"Cloud City?" she questions.

"Unkar almost sold you?" The things Kylo could do to that disgusting—

Rey's face flames as if the memory humiliates her.

"I'm so sorry," Kylo manages. He can think of a million ways to end that creature. None of which would reassure Rey, because the damage has been done.

"Snoke was after you," Rey says. "Always."

Kylo nods.

"Is he still?" she demands.

Kylo shrugs. "I think if he finds me, he'll crush me." Bile stings his mouth. "He's got no further use for me now that I'm not serving him."

"If he wanted you to be a creature of the Dark and the Light—why are you so desperate to get rid of the Light?" Rey demands. "I don't understand."

"It's not so much the traditional Dark or Light." Kylo hesitates. "How much do you know of the Jedi and the Sith?"

"Only myths and legends," Rey answers, staring at him. Eager. Like she's curious, like she wants to know.

"It's—traditional Sith, and traditional Jedi—they all draw from a wellspring of emotions. Jedi repress hate, anger, fear, in favor of peace and compassion. The Sith encouraged… passion." Kylo scuffs the toe of his boot against the floor. "Snoke encourages none of it."

"I'm confused," Rey states. Kylo admires her for it. She's not ashamed to admit when she doesn't know.

"Snoke admires the Jedi's appreciation for knowledge, for defense. But when knowledge is limited to the Light Side, it's just that—limited. So he wants me to use both, but I can't—as long as there's Light, using the Dark Side—it doesn't quite work. I can't fully realize my powers then." He sounds petty and he knows it.

"But why would you want to?"

"Because emotions are weak. They make you foolish." Rey's face blanches and Kylo cringes, remembering that she's heard this before.

"How many times," Rey asks. "Have you been told that feeling things—that compassion and passion and all of it—make you weak and foolish, Ben?"

Don't cry. That's weakness.

Don't be afraid, Snoke whispered, and all the while Ben insisted he wasn't, he wasn't afraid, he was terrified and Snoke always knew. And he played with Ben's fear, luring him. It's crystal clear to Kylo, and he wants to scream.

He knows his eyes give her the answer, and their bond just confirms it. Rey shakes her head.

"So does Snoke think that if you repress all emotions, all feelings—you'll be wiser and better able to use the Force?"

Kylo nods. "And that there's no chance of clouded judgment."

"So he's never been angry?" Rey asks sarcastically, folding her arms across her chest. She scowls and uncrosses her arms, picking at a loose thread on her sweater.

The scavenger… resisted you?

Who's teaching whom here? Kylo wonders.

"For the record," she says, leaning forward. "Not feeling things is a pretty poor decision. Hoping kept me alive in Jakku. Hoping, and loving my family." Her breath hitches. Even if they didn't love me.

"Wouldn't it be less painful if you didn't care?"

"Did you think your parents cared?" Rey asks. "Where did that get you?"

Kylo flinches. His breath comes in quick gasps, and he turns back towards the cockpit window.

"You wish you hadn't done it," Rey squeaks.

Shit. Damn bond. "See? Weakness."

Rey snorts, but when he turns to face her, his stoic mask, the same mask he always wears around Snoke, stiffened on his face, he sees that she's looking at him like he's someone completely new, someone she's never met.


"Stop one," Poe announces as he guides the Millennium Falcon to the planet's surface. All around, Finn sees tawny rocks and gray gravel. The closest sun is so far away that the planet's light is terribly, terribly dim.

Finn punches in their location, transmitting it to Luke. Last they heard, Leia still hadn't woken up, and Finn's beginning to think she never will.

And then, the Resistance might truly die. Unless they can find Rey.

"Ask if Chewie's still pissed we stole the Falcon," Poe says.

"He was not pissed. He wanted us to have it," Finn corrects. "For Rey."

Poe shrugs. "Seemed pretty angry to me."

"I think that's just how he comes across."

Poe studies him and gives a quick nod. "Okay then."

"Last time I was on this ship," Finn says. "It was to rescue Rey from the Starkiller. With Han."

"In all luck, she'll have decided to ditch that piece of shit," Poe says. "And we won't have to do any rescuing. Because, let's face it, it's a lot more likely we'll need her to rescue us, Jedi that she is."

Finn grins at his friend's faith in Rey. "Thanks, Poe."

"No problem, buddy." Poe climbs out of the pilot's seat, from where he's been giving Finn directions on how to co-pilot. Sort of. "Now I need some help."

"With what?"

Poe nods at the stormtrooper armor they brought with them. "How the blazes do you put this on?"

Finn chuckles. "Let me help you. Clamp them around your legs; it's got hooks in it."

"Um, okay." Poe bites his lip and watches as Finn changes in front of him. He copies Finn. When everything's on except the masks, Poe reaches out and touches Finn's shoulder. Even through the armor, Finn can tell Poe's hands are shaking.

"You ready for this?" Poe asks.

"Are you?" Finn asks.

"Danger's never meant anything to me." Poe smirks.

Your hands tell a different story.

"Although I'm more worried for you," Poe admits. "I think—you know, for someone who doesn't consider himself brave, you're constantly rushing back into danger. Not just danger even, but like—the things that you fear most. I don't even know if I could do that."

Something stings in Finn's eyes. Poe means it. He wraps his arms around Poe in a hug. He doesn't say anything, because he doesn't need to. "What are you most afraid of?" he inquires, joking, as he pulls back.

Poe doesn't laugh. "I'll tell you when we leave this place. Hopefully with information on Rey," he adds.


Luke sees how everyone looks at him. A disappointment. A let down. And yet, he can't conjure up the emotions he should have, the shame, the embarrassment. Because they should have known. They should have expected this. Everyone in the galaxy should have, after his padawans were all slaughtered because he was too preoccupied with his own pursuits.

And the Dark Side pulled Luke himself closer and closer, and when he found everything gone, everything dead, when Ben was gone, Luke screamed and screamed and fled. Because he knew if he went to Leia—if he stayed—the Dark Side would consume him. He was too angry.

The only reason these Resistance members look up to him still is Leia. Leia, who still believes in him. Not even Yoda, Obi-Wan, or Father have appeared to him in all his years of exile.

If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will.

It might have done just that, Luke fears. And he knows what fear means. He might have turned from the Dark Side, but the consequences—they haunt him. The ghosts shriek at him from Rey's eyes, and every memory of Ben sears the inside of Luke's skull.

Leia sent Ben to him to save him. And Luke might as well have pushed him into the fire, because he ignored the boy. He showed him precious little compassion, not truly. He loved Ben, but he never gave him what he needed.

How can he tell her? How can he tell anyone?

Luke buries his face in his hands. For years, he was a nobody, and then he was a hero, and then he was a hero trying to be a nobody, and now he's expected to become a hero again, and he doesn't know that he can. The Jedi temple has only shown him how wrong he's been, and how much he has to learn.

Luke envies the days he charged into Cloud City to confront Vader, to save his friends. He wishes he knew less. What he knows torments him.

And the worst part is that from being around the Jedi temple, Luke's learned that maybe all he was teaching his padawans was wrong. Misguided.

Chewie notices first. He roars, and Luke whirls around, fearing the worst. 3PO's gasping: "Oh, my—oh—Master Luke!"

Leia's eyelids flutter, and Luke rushes towards her, freezing before he can grab her hand.

Her eyes fully open, and her gaze hardens on her brother.

I'm in for it, Luke realizes.

But none of it matters. Leia's awake, and Luke grabs her hand and presses it to his streaming eyes.


"I'm following your lead," Poe whispers when Finn pauses outside a mound of rocks and stones. Something squawks back in the forest of pine trees they emerged from.

"If we get into town," Finn murmurs. "We can sneak into the headquarters. See if we can find any information on where Kylo Ren is."

"How likely do you think that is?" Poe inquires.

Finn wishes he could see his friend's eyes through the stormtrooper helmet. "Not terribly likely. Not here. But we can maybe find something on—someone. Hux. I know it's not a foolproof plan; I'm sorry."

"There's no such thing as a foolproof plan anyways," Poe says confidently, armor-clad hand resting on Finn's shoulder. "And we won't stop until we find her."

In town, the common Rodians and humans look at Poe and Finn with respect. Other stormtroopers march past, apparently unaware that anything is suspect. Good. With each step, Finn's chest relaxes.

The metal doors of the headquarters, garish in the sunlight, swallow the two of them up. Sweat drips cold down Finn's back. The sudden dimness tugs at his hope, threatening to tear it to pieces as familiar numbers and orders echo from a robotic voice.

"This way." Finn marches up a flight of stairs, Poe's footsteps echoing behind him. "We can do this. We can do this."

"Yes, we can," Poe reassures him.

Under his mask, Finn smirks.

"Where are you going?" interrupts a voice. "You don't have permission to be in this area!"

Poe's blaster starts to jerk upwards, but Finn steps in front of his friend. "Since when? Stromtroopers can always—"

"Are you part of the new arrivals?"

"Yes," Poe says quickly. "Yes, we are."

"Oh." The stormtrooper lowers his weapon. "New rules. Captain Phasma's taking no chances."

Phasma—she's alive? Horror winds its way down Finn's throat, into his stomach. "Is the stricter security a result of the Starkiller disaster?" he manages to ask.

"Considering it was just implemented a few days ago, not quite." The stormtrooper snorts.

"We'll get out of here, then," Poe says, turning and walking away oh-so-calmly. Finn follows.

"What in the hell is going on?" Finn hisses to Poe. "That's not normal."

"We have to break into that transmission room," Poe declares. "Something's up. Something big."

"Do you think it's the stormtroopers we captured? That surrender to us?"

"You have better insight than me," Poe points out, lowering his voice as three other troopers march by.

"No," Finn decides. "Something much larger."

"But if the Resistance is weakened, it can't be something we've—unless there's another pocket of—could it be related to Rey?"

"Maybe." But the general energy sizzling around the base seems to be turbulent, boiling with unease and fear.

"Maybe Rey struck out to battle them on her own?" Poe whispers.

"But then what about Kylo Ren?" Finn asks.

"Have you heard anything new?" demands another stormtrooper. A woman this time.

"About…?" Finn prompts.

"The rumors."

"We've heard a few rumors about Kylo Ren, yeah," Poe says, sliding smoothly into the conversation. Finn's windpipe freezes. He coughs.

"Do you know if it's true he's deserted the First Order?" the girl asks, leaning forward. "Everyone's wondering."

Deserted? It takes all of Finn's self-control not to turn to Poe in shock. "We're not sure," Finn says.

"It can't be true," the girl says, voice wavering.

Finn's mind swims and he can't think straight. What does this mean?

Poe directs Finn back the way they came. "Let's get out of here."

"That doesn't make sense," Finn breathes.

"I have no idea." Poe shakes his head. "I just—we need to go. And I need to take this frickin' helmet off. Like, how the heck did you survive in this thing for hours, Finn?"

"I hated it," Finn admits. "Makes me feel claustrophobic."

"I can see why." Poe slows his gait as they round a corner. "Luke might be able to give us some insight. I think that man knows more about—about this whole mess that the galaxy's in—than he's said."

The moment Poe says those words, Finn knows they're true. "You're right." They emerge from the bunker and the sunlight splashes down on them. BB-8's waiting for them in the Falcon, and maybe more answers too.

They're not any closer to Rey, though. But at least, if Kylo Ren isn't working with the First Order—that's something, and Finn will cling to anything.

"Hands up, or both of you die," comes a voice, a voice so familiar, a voice that barks inside Finn's skull every night when he tries to dream of the future and can only dream of the past.

Shit.

If it were just him, Finn might have fled. But it's not, and he can't communicate with Poe without them noticing, and they can't both fire blasters and expect to get out alive. Not when a swarm of troopers is closing around them, white armor glinting like malevolent snow.

"Put down the blasters," Phasma orders. A dozen blasters aim at Poe. Two dozen aim at Finn.

Poe looks at him, and Finn groans internally as he drops his blaster.

"Take off your masks."

Finn removes his. Poe does likewise, setting his jaw in a look of defiance, and Finn copies him, glaring at Phasma in what might be his last moments.