King Rat: Deep Water
Author Notes: I admit it- I love this chapter. I just do. Quite a few changes from where it started, too, so enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but I totally found my Gensomaden plushie collection. Everyone but Kougaiji, who I think I gave to a friend years ago. Still don't own Saiyuki or profit from this writing.
5B: Reciprocate
Under fresh bandages and the setting sun, the Sanzo party drove on from the kappa-infested creek in near-silence but for the revving of the engine. Gojyo stared out the window, heart bouncing between his ribs in his chest. The sensation of his own heart was somehow more exciting than the sensation in his belly- at least for a little while. Soon, it became apparent that the movement wasn't stopping.
Is this what you're like when you're awake? "Quit that." He prodded his stomach, but quickly bit his own tongue as he realized, I'm talking to it again. Sanzo and Hakkai had both looked back at him when he'd spoken, the former with a raised brow, the latter with half a glance in the rear view mirror.
"Did you say something?" Hakkai asked, looking again at the road.
"No, just... talkin' to myself." Gojyo cringed, as Sanzo straightened his lips and turned back around. Goku seemed to notice the wrought expression Gojyo wore.
"Did you get hurt?" He leaned closer, and grabbed Gojyo's arm to look it over. "I don't see any cuts or bruises, not even a little boo-boo!" Gojyo pulled his arm away, and folded his arms and legs in as tight as he could. He knew Sanzo was still listening to him, he knew he could lose what he'd earned, and he couldn't afford that.
'For once, you're not pissing me off.' That simple phrase was indication enough that Sanzo would be willing to honor their contract. He just had to keep it that way.
The sun sank, though June still sweltered in pulsating waves of humidity and heat around them. Gojyo's clothes stuck to his skin, his hair slick against his neck and forehead. The others were sweating as well, but Gojyo could tell that Sanzo was the only one remotely as warm as he was- That robe has gotta be stifling.
Still, they drove on for an hour in the dark, finally finding a town in the foothills of a mountain. The river still flowed past it, powering a grinding mill near the edge of town, but there was no evidence of the youkai infestation there. It seemed based on its size that it would have been a fairly busy market town during the day- lots of three-story buildings and narrow streets. The Jeep whined as they rolled through the town, barely fitting between the sidewalks, the engine shuddering in first gear. Hakkai patted the wheel. "We're fine." He sighed as the Jeep chattered back at him. "We fit." Gojyo couldn't hide a noise that was somewhere between a chuckle and a scoff- he knew how the Jeep felt.
"Just a little too big for your britches, eh?" He patted the side of the car, which resulted in an angry whine from the motor.
They had to check with three of the town's inns before they found one with any rooms at all. There were two single-bed rooms in the one they found, which sat near the town center in the midst of the crooked and cramped streets. Gojyo couldn't imagine how they weren't more popular, especially with how rowdy their tavern was. Hakkai figured it out as they carried their things up to the rooms on the second floor (or, more accurately, as Hakkai carried his and Gojyo's bags, Goku carried his own pack, and Sanzo silently marched behind them, empty-handed.) "You can hear the noise from below as if you were in there." He nodded towards the shuddering floorboards. "It may be convenient to the town center, which is why all the off-shift workers are unwinding below, but anyone actually wanting to sleep may have some difficulty."
The rooms were spaced around the corner around from one another. As they opened the first one and Goku bounded in, Sanzo drew his face into a sterner-than-usual expression. "Sleeping with him will make sleeping at all impossible." He glowered at Goku, who had started jumping on the bed.
"Ah, you'd rather we gambled on it?" Hakkai giggled, and Gojyo looked away to hide a guilty look from Hakkai. "That's fine by me, we could use a meal anyway- I don't feel like sleeping yet myself." He glanced over to Gojyo, who turned his face further away. "How about we just put our things down for the moment? We'll sort it all out later."
Hakkai took Gojyo down the hall and set their bags on the bed. "Freshen up," he encouraged Gojyo, gesturing towards the bathroom with a nudging motion. Gojyo shrugged, and washed his face and the back of his neck in the bathroom sink. He tried not to look at his reflection- as of the past few months, he never liked what he saw. He splashed some cold water in his hair, wringing it through his bangs. He stared into the basin for a moment, then sighed- he felt that odd twitching in his stomach again.
"I thought I told you to quit that!" He groaned and gave his midsection a light slap. Hakkai popped his head in from the other room.
"Oh, is she acting up?"
"Who the hell said it was a 'she'?!" Gojyo threw his arms rigid to his sides, as Hakkai entered and approached.
"Let me see." Without waiting for permission, Hakkai's hands landed on his belly. He ran them all over, and finally stopped when he found the movement. "Ah! There she is."
"I'm still askin' about that 'she.' Get off." He pushed Hakkai's hand away. Hakkai's smile broke to a rather hurt look for a moment, but he pushed a small smile back to the surface.
"Does it really bother you that much? And..." He folded his arms and tucked his hands against his chest. "I'm calling the baby a 'she' because it might help you get used to the idea of a little person living inside you, coming into your life. You keep saying 'it.'"
"It's livin' inside me, I got that part." Gojyo strode past Hakkai out of the bathroom, and Hakkai followed at his heels. "And I know it's gonna come out eventually." He dropped himself onto the bed and started to dig through his bag. "I don't get why you wanna start calling it a girl, though!"
"Perhaps that's my own bias." Hakkai crouched in front of Gojyo, looking up at him over his middle. "Perhaps I would like it to be a girl. Somehow, it seems right- the eldest in the family should be a daughter."
"Family," Gojyo repeated. The word felt soft and unpleasant on his tongue, and the disgust must have showed in his face from Hakkai's reaction:
"You do want a family, don't you?" His hand reached out again, then twitched back. Gojyo sighed.
"It's fine," he relented under his breath. "I just really hate when you do this in front of the others." Hakkai smiled, and he put his hand on Gojyo's side.
"If you'd rather I keep this between us, that's fine." His smile seemed much more natural as he rolled up the bottom of Gojyo's shirt and slipped his hand against the taut skin. "I know your family life has been very, very limited. But this child will be your family- our family. I'll be a proud uncle, and incredibly happy. You will be too- you'll see." Gojyo shivered as the baby's movement gravitated towards Hakkai's touch. "There you are, darling." His eyes showed a deep warmth, and Gojyo settled back against the bed. Hakkai's hand was strangely soothing, and Gojyo wondered if he was manipulating his chi. He couldn't feel the usual tug at his energy flow- maybe this contentment was natural. He shifted his weight further back, relaxing the muscles in his back. Hakkai seemed encouraged, smiling a little wider. "Is there any way you can tell me when you conceived?"
"No." Gojyo lowered his eyes.
"Hmm." Hakkai seemed nonplussed, rubbing his chin with two fingers as he thought. "By my guess, you must be at least twenty weeks- since we learned of this about sixteen weeks ago. But your basal height-" he stopped, putting his hand under Gojyo's navel and the other at his hips. "It's been consistently too high." He put his other hand behind his back, and tapped his index finger on the fullest part of his belly. "You've got a bit too much here, but I'm sure you've just gained extra weight because you're so skinny. I shouldn't try and apply female standards to you, it's not really fair." Gojyo grumbled, ignoring the heat in his cheeks.
"How you know all this shit, anyway?"
"I picked up a book when I found out you were expecting." Hakkai withdrew his hands and went for his pack. He held out a book to Gojyo- 'A Medical Guide to High-Risk Pregnancy.' He set the book on the bed beside Gojyo. "I've picked up one or two or six at nearly every town we've stopped in since." Hakkai took out a few more books: 'Baby Basics,' 'A Home Guide to Midwifing,' 'Cooking for Two,' and a set of knitting patterns for baby clothes. "There's more in the Jeep's boot, too." He giggled, as Gojyo gaped at the books. "Poor Hakuryu is so tired of carrying them all, but I read whenever I have a chance."
"Guess I ain't noticed." Gojyo took the first book and flipped a few pages over. He didn't understand most of the bigger words, but he saw diagrams and pictures that sort of made sense. Hakkai smiled serenely and sat back on his haunches.
"At twenty weeks, the baby is about twenty-five centimeters long." Gojyo noticed a dog-eared page and flipped to it, as Hakkai summarized what Gojyo saw printed. "He or she has fully formed arms and legs, fingers and toes, and eyelids. His or her ears should be formed as well, and you may notice her react to noises. In the next few weeks, you will start to notice him or her react to motion- he or she may already be able to feel you walking. A fine layer of hair-"
"This thing can hear me?" Gojyo cocked his head. His hand moved to his middle without him noticing, and Hakkai smiled.
"You've been talking to her, haven't you? She'll recognize your voice. It'll be her favorite sound in the world." Hakkai put his hand over Gojyo's, and Gojyo slouched his shoulders.
"If you're gonna do this, can you at least call it a he?"
"If you prefer that, then yes. A little boy will be delightful. He'll be just like his mama." Hakkai stood up, and Gojyo jumped to his feet.
"That 'mama' shit stops right there! I'm Daddy, motherfucker!" He thumbed his chest, and Hakkai laughed a pleasant, amused laugh, clapping to himself- clearly, this was a victory for him.
"Let's go eat. You must be famished- and so is he." Hakkai put his hand on Gojyo's shoulder and escorted him from the room. Gojyo hid his disabused look behind his turned back, and forced his hands into his pockets. Saying it out loud made it seem much more real: he was going to be a Daddy. This wasn't going to end when this thing was out of him, was it?
Under Sanzo's harsh stare, all thoughts of "Daddy" vanished. He was just him, with something extra, sitting as quietly as he could amongst the raucous party in the inn tavern at their table beside the stairs and shutting everything else out. He 'behaved' as best as he could. He didn't complain at the plate of chicken and limp asparagus unceremoniously dropped before him by a disgruntled and exhausted waitress. The sight of it made bile jump into his throat, but he choked it down, hiding his gagging into his vest collar. Sanzo and Hakkai drank a few beers over dinner, while Goku tried to engage Gojyo in conversation around mouthfuls of rice. Gojyo folded his arms and stared at the wall, legs shaking restlessly, and ignored Goku. Goku groaned, and pounded his fist on the table in front of him.
"You're no fun. Why do you look so mad? Does your tummy hurt?" Sanzo and Hakkai both looked, as Gojyo lowered his head.
"I'm just tired, okay?"
"It is near midnight, isn't it?" Hakkai took out the deck of cards. "And we haven't agreed on who's sleeping where." Sanzo sighed and put his cigarette out.
"Fine. Same rules as usual?"
Three hands of poker, no bluffs, highest hand wins. For a moment, all Gojyo could hear was the tapping of the shuffling cards against the table and blood rushing through his veins. This was his game to win- or lose.
"Okay, winner of this round gets the first bed." Hakkai as he dealt five cards to each of them, each card sliding across the table as smoothly as a swan on water. Goku picked his up for the first peek.
"Aww, only two tens?!" He slapped the cards back down.
"Three nines." Sanzo didn't tip his cards, but none of the others would question his word.
"Fuck all." Gojyo tossed his worthless hand back to the center of the table.
"Four aces. Lucky me!" Hakkai laughed. Goku and Gojyo grunted and groaned and rolled their eyes, and their merry mass murderer shuffled and dealt again, leaving himself out. "Next bed to the winner of this round." Goku picked up his hand first again, and groaned, already disappointed.
"Two sixes! So lame!"
"Two queens." A hint of a victorious smirk crossed Sanzo's visage- he shouldn't have been so cocky, except he must have known how bad Gojyo's luck would be that night:
"Fuck all." Goyjo sighed and threw his cards back into the pile. Hakkai raked them back towards himself and shuffled one more time.
"Oi, Gojyo, winner of this round gets to sleep on the floor with Hakkai," Goku suggested. "Deal?"
"You're on, monkey. Watch me." Gojyo's words were daring, but his tone somber- he had never wanted to lose a card game more in his life. He draped his arm over the back of his chair and slouched, as Goku leaned forward with anticipation, bouncing in his seat. Hakkai dealt ten cards, and each man stared at his face-down hand. Goku picked up his hand, and squinted with disappointment.
"Ohh, three eights. Gojyo, what do you have?"
Gojyo stared at his hand of four kings and an ace. He looked between Hakkai, Goku, and Sanzo, and finally sighed. "Fuck all." He tossed the cards back in the pile, and quickly began to shuffle the deck again.
Three hands, bluffs were fair game, and the lowest hand won the prize. Gojyo would never tell the others that he had changed the rules.
"I'll switch with you," Hakkai offered as he took the deck from Gojyo. "I'll stay on the floor with Sanzo, you can have my bed."
"Deal's a deal, and I'm a man of my word." Gojyo sat back again and folded his hands in his lap. Even Goku wore a pitying look now.
"Man, why do I feel so bad for winning?" He put his chin in his hand and moaned to himself. Sanzo sneered and got to his feet. Hakkai got up as well, taking a step to follow him.
"Will you switch?" Hakkai held his hand out, and Sanzo turned back to him, eyes full of that ice that was all too familiar to Gojyo. Sanzo didn't have to answer. Hakkai lowered his hand, and bowed his head. "Then, will you at least be kind to him for tonight?"
"Only if he behaves himself." Sanzo turned on his heel, taking a newspaper off the bar as he passed. He ascended the stairs, newspaper under his arm, and Gojyo hung his head.
"You shouldn't have to stand up for me." He had no idea why getting what he wanted felt this shameful, but his insides were swimming. Without Sanzo staring him down, he could release all the terrible that he'd bottled up for the past two hours and put his head in his hands. Goku moved his chair closer to Gojyo's.
"Cheer up!" He patted his back, though Gojyo tried to slouch away from him. "You can't mope just because things are hard, because things get better!"
"Do you have any idea how stupid you sound?" Gojyo shrugged Goku off. "Goddamn stupid philosophy monkey." Goku tried to latch back on, but Gojyo held him at arm's length.
"Just think about how he would want you to feel," Hakkai reminded Gojyo in his other ear. "Besides, if the baby likes Goku, you might be able to pawn him off sometimes." Gojyo groaned, and relented. Goku hung himself over Gojyo, squeezing his bulging tummy with happy hands. Gojyo gritted his teeth, his eye twitching, but resisted the urge to peel the handsy monkey off of him. Hakkai backed off and laughed, as Goku wrapped himself around Gojyo like an octopus. Goyjo was finally forced to smile, and set his hands on his own middle around Goku's. Hakkai imagined he was warming up to Goku's touch, but he couldn't be sure- he couldn't read his expression.
Gojyo didn't know what it was, but the feeling of a kind hand on his middle was somehow incredibly welcome. Suddenly, he was absolutely certain of what he wanted from Sanzo.
(Suggested Track: "Breezeblocks," as covered by Konoba on Youtube. Originally by Alt-J.)
Gojyo stared at the door to his and Sanzo's room, and braced himself. Hakkai had tried to carry his bag out of his room for him, but he had insisted on going alone, and now waited at the doorjamb with it slung over his shoulder. He knocked twice and got no response. He stepped back from the door, shuffled his feet, and waited about thirty seconds. He knocked again, once, and waited. No response. Of course not. Gojyo sighed, and turned the handle on the off chance that Sanzo had left it unlocked. The hinges clicked and the door swung open. Huh. So much for off chances.
Sanzo was seated on the bed, smoking a cigarette and reading his newspaper, as was his nightly ritual. Sanzo glanced up over the edge of the paper, over the rim of his reading glasses, for less than a moment, then continued to read. Gojyo dropped his bag, knowing he would get no other greeting; what little acknowledgment he got was enough. He grabbed his soap and toothbrush and trudged to the bathroom to prepare for sleep. The floorboards creaked under him, almost insulting him, but the tile of the unusually clean bathroom felt good against his aching feet. He splashed some water on his face, rubbing the filth of the day off. He caught a glimpse of himself in front of him, and looked up to stare at himself in the mirror. He couldn't remember the last he'd looked himself straight on, and was quickly reminded why. His eyes were ringed blue from lack of sleep, his cheekbones hollow, and his hair was uncooperative and wild. He yanked his vest and shirt off, and his gaze drifted back to his reflection. He looked at his frame, his round middle, and cupped the swell in his palms. It was heavy in his hands- the weight of his burden. He pressed his nose against the mirror, another sigh escaping his lips.
He couldn't stop wishing it would just go away. It wasn't even a matter of not wanting the baby. He wanted to turn the clock back to before the pregnancy, to when Sanzo could stand him, or when Sanzo would touch him, or even when the two were just mutually spiteful. He didn't even understand why he longed for Sanzo now- Sanzo had hurt him so badly, and he'd tried to avoid it, but now he wanted it back. And yet, it seemed hopeless. It was obvious Sanzo didn't have even an ounce of interest in him, and Gojyo wasn't sure what was more painful: hatred or indifference.
"You." Gojyo glanced to the washroom door, where Sanzo stood, glasses off and paper in hand. Gojyo wasn't sure when he'd come up, but he straightened up as Sanzo stared him down, arms folded. "You threw the card game."
"I did not." Gojyo smirked back at him- the look Sanzo was giving him was just daring him to pick a fight. "You look at my cards? I didn't peg you for a cheater."
"I can tell when you're lying." Sanzo clicked his tongue and tossed the newspaper down.
"Can you really?" Gojyo let the drawl slip out, a real smirk escaping to his cheeks. He set his hands on his hips and leaned closer, just daring Sanzo to throw an insult. "What's my tell?" Sanzo gave him no reaction, just the flat reply:
"You open your mouth." Gojyo scoffed, but he felt a fire inside- It's almost like it used to be. Then, Sanzo's tune changed, his brow wrinkled, and his tone darkened: "I know you've been trying hard to behave. You want sex, you sick pig?" Sanzo's tongue might as well have been dripping venom at those words. "Honestly, what's the point? No doubt you've been getting it a thousand other places. Your condition hasn't slowed you down- why let that get between you and your selfish-"
"I haven't had sex in more than five months," Gojyo interrupted. He tilted his head back and looked away; an awful, sick, hollow feeling had replaced the defiant joy of trading insults. "Last time was with you." He paused, and smirked for a moment. "Of course, you're not going to believe me, because my mouth is moving." He picked his clothes up and folded them on top of his bag, still trying to hide his misery with a smile all the while. He was sure the illusion would break if he had to look Sanzo in the eyes. "Truth be told, I don't even want sex."
"Then what do you want from me?" Sanzo folded his arms, and Gojyo hung his head as he rose to a stand. The hesitation was back, the pressure was upon him like a storm. With a soft growl, Sanzo closed the distance, seized him by his shoulders and slapped him across the face. "Talk! I know you want something from me, that's why you're acting like a goddamn statue. Talk!"
"How often do you tell me to shut up, Sanzo?" Gojyo chuckled softly, feeling alive briefly as his cheek stung. This is familiar. Sanzo narrowed his eyes and swung his hand back again, but Gojyo held up one hand. "I just want you to hold me. Just for a little while. Just for a minute." He took a half-step back from Sanzo towards the wall, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "You ever held someone before? I did it once. It's nice. It's kind of like sex, but since you still gotta use your body, I thought it'd fall under the contract."
"That fucking contract." Sanzo looked like he was tasting something foul. "I regret that piece of paper every day. What you propose is more disgusting to me than sex." Gojyo shrugged, his shoulders slouching.
"Fine, I'll just go to sleep. Can I have a pillow for the floor, or should I just fold my clothes into one?"
"Shut up and lay on the bed." Sanzo retreated a few steps towards the bed, still barely looking at Gojyo through narrow eyes. "You look like you'll cry if I refuse you, and that's even worse." Emotions beyond Gojyo's grasp brightened every synapse in his mind, joy flooding his every feature, his posture upright, his smile deep and childlike. He wanted to hug Sanzo, but that would be pushing it. He dropped his pants to the floor, kicked them at the corner, crawled onto the bed and covered himself with the sheet. Sanzo removed his sandals and robe, neatly hanging the latter, then folded the sutra into a neat square, his motions gentle and delicate. He tucked it into the sleeve of his robe, and removed his belt. He seemed to contemplate the wall for a moment, then turned out the lamp and approached the bed.
Moonlight cast a blue hue over the room, dampened by the curtains, but Gojyo could still see Sanzo move in the dark. He crawled over the sheet, the bed creaking under him, and lay on his side beside Gojyo, on his side and staring at him. The gaze was like a dead fish, blinking so rarely, and Gojyo couldn't quite look at him straight. Instead, Gojyo edged as close to Sanzo as he could without touching his face, and wrapped his arms around the priest's thin chest. Sanzo seemed to recoil when Gojyo pulled him into his embrace, his body pressed against the curve of Gojyo's stomach, but he didn't pull away completely. After a moment, he almost seemed to settle into his arms, a mouse no longer struggling against a snake.
A content warmth flushed Gojyo's cheeks, and he rocked Sanzo against him. He couldn't hold back the soft sigh that escaped his lungs and crossed his lips. He stroked the smooth skin of Sanzo's back, silently wishing Sanzo would move just to prove he was alive. All he had was a pulse and the feeling of his breath against his breastbone. Then, Sanzo's hand drifted its way around Gojyo's side and landed on the small of his back, resting there, and it was enough. Their hearts beat slowly, in sync with one another, and Gojyo imagined for a moment in the stillness that he and Sanzo had some form of togetherness, some form of being one.
That's... that's what I want? No. I can't want that. He's never gonna want that. Never.
They stayed entwined for a few minutes, but Gojyo was starting to feel sweat on his skin and ice from inside. He started to unwrap himself from Sanzo, but froze when Sanzo grabbed his arm. "Don't move," he muttered, and Gojyo realized that the hand that had slid to his back was now on his side. "That thing is moving."
Shit.
"Uh, yeah. It does that sometimes. I can't help it." Gojyo tried to pull away again, but Sanzo wrapped his other arm around the small of Gojyo's back. "H-hey-"
"Shut up." Sanzo glared into Gojyo's eyes. Gojyo couldn't respond- Sanzo's gaze was unreadable, unfathomable. He couldn't imagine what was going on behind those eyes. Finally, Sanzo's lips moved again, each word deliberate: "How many people did you sleep with?"
"You're going to need to be specific about a 'when' on that." Gojyo slid his hand off of Sanzo and onto his own side. "I don't think I've got a count for the whole last twenty-two years." Gojyo hid his coy smile into the pillow, but Sanzo grabbed a tendril of his hair and yanked it to keep his attention, forcing him to face him.
"Fine. Specific? Between when you signed our contract and when you got knocked up. How many women did you fuck?"
Gojyo didn't even need to think about it. "None." Sanzo scoffed- he didn't seem surprised.
"How many men?" Ah. There was the question he'd wanted to ask, and Gojyo had the answer to that one too.
"One." Gojyo let a melancholy smile slip as Sanzo finally released his arm. "Am I lying, Sanzo? Do you think I'm lying? I'm not. You're the only one-" He started to sit up, but Sanzo leaned towards him.
"Before you fucked me. Before." He spoke faster- he was starting to look frantic. "How many people did you sleep with in the month before that?" Sanzo demanded, still staring into Gojyo's eyes. The ice was melting, but now Gojyo was starting to see fire.
"Nobody. I had nothing, Sanzo, no luck for months." His skin started to crawl; his eyes started to itch. "I had to bleed my own damned poison every night since we started this damned mission and for at least three months before that. By my count, that's a really fucking long time. More than nine months ago." He laughed bitterly, as Sanzo's hands shook against his skin, and concluded, "If I got this thing stuck in me before then, then I have no idea when it's comin' out, because it clearly ain't human." Gojyo sat up and got out of bed, turning away from Sanzo as he went to retrieve his clothes. He stopped, facing the wall, and found the bravery to add: "It's only been you." Sanzo sat up as well, his hands clenched into fists.
"Are you telling me I'm the fucking fath-"
"You're nothing you don't want to be, High Priest Sanzo." Gojyo glanced over his shoulder as all the coyness and cleverness fell out of his voice, watching the horror wipe Sanzo's features, and didn't even try to hide the tears streaking his cheeks as he pulled his pants up. He grunted as he tried to button them, and failed to make the waistband meet. Sanzo jumped from bed and grabbed Gojyo's shoulders.
"Don't talk to me like that!" Sanzo throttled the other man in his grip. Gojyo couldn't be surprised by his rage, but it made him laugh against his own foolish tears. He braced himself, waiting for Sanzo to hit him again. The pressure of Sanzo's tempest swallowed him. Now in the eye of the storm, Sanzo dropped his voice considerably- soft now, but more dangerous than ever. "I fathered that thing?!"
"It doesn't matter, does it?" Gojyo kept his voice low, but managed to look back into Sanzo's eyes. "You don't care about it, and I'm bound by our contract not to tell anyone I ever did anything with you. I'm a man of my word, ain't I?" Sanzo sharply inhaled, the gasp shaking in his throat, and Gojyo looked down again. "I just wanted a minute of warmth, Sanzo. It's all I wanted from you. I'll never ask you for anything again." Gojyo pushed Sanzo's hands off of him, but staggered into the rack with Sanzo's robe from the effort. He bounded back and moved towards the door. Sanzo stood still, his hands shaking, body stiff and eyes wide, as Gojyo pushed the door open. He turned back to Sanzo for a moment. "I'll leave you alone now. Don't wait up for me. I'll just... sleep in the hall." Sanzo remained in place, fists clenched, finally finding the strength to scowl at the door as Gojyo closed it. Gojyo leaned against the door for a moment, and slid a cigarette he'd nicked from Sanzo's robe out of his pocket into his mouth. He felt the blow through the wood behind him as Sanzo punched the door, and couldn't help but chuckle as Sanzo swore something indiscernible about his mother. He lit the cigarette, shoved one hand in his pocket, and strolled down the hallway to the stairwell, relaxing in the scent of the smoke.
He had gotten what he wanted, didn't he? Why wasn't he happy?
(Suggested Track: "Don't Trust Me," 3OH!3)
Gojyo emerged to the street, and began to make his way out into the twilit city. His pants were sitting at his waist only from his hands stuffed in his pockets and by the grace of the gods, but there wasn't anything he could do about it now. He didn't know where he was going, taking random turns through the narrow streets, looking for anything that might distract him from the tumult in his mind.
He knows now. I told him straight. That's what he wanted, isn't it? Of course he's angry at me, he doesn't want me to be honest with him. What does he want? What did he want? What do I want now?
He felt the last bit of warmth from Sanzo fade off of his chest, and felt the cold creep in around the humid night air. He sighed, stopping for a moment and feeling the swishing, drumming sensation of his own heartbeat.
Nothing. Not anymore.
He let the cigarette dangle off his lower lip as he wandered down the dark streets, passing like a shadow between lamp lights, and twisted his hand up under the round of his middle.
The baby was still moving, and it was very active for whatever reason. He still wasn't used to the movements, and from the way it felt to him, it was very cramped even in his round belly. He realized his legs were tired, strained from the extra weight, and he leaned against a wall and folded his hands atop the bump. The baby had finally stopped, as suddenly as he'd started, and Gojyo sighed to himself.
"Stupid little bastard. If you hadn't started up, I could have been happy just a little longer." He ran his finger down one of the stretch marks that had formed, his finger tracing the groove. "The goddess must loathe me, or I must be dead. I feel like I'm in hell already." He hadn't realized, but he'd slid his legs out under him and started to sway his hips against the wall. The baby twitched back in response to the rocking motion, twisting around again. "I should'a known you were gonna get in the way. You're draggin' me down, kid. What am I gonna do with you?"
"Gojyo," a soft female voice spoke, and Gojyo looked up to see a familiar threesome before him. Dokugakuji, Yaone, and Kougaiji were before him, all staring at him, and he quickly straightened up and shoved his hands back in his pockets. He had no idea when they'd arrived, when they'd sneaked up and surrounded him, but god, did he hope they hadn't heard too much.
"The hell are you guys doin' here?" He looked at each of them in turn- the movement in his belly now overshadowed by the squirming in his stomach. Dokugakuji traded a glance with Kougaiji.
"I didn't want to believe it, but-" Kougaiji stopped when Dokugakuji put a hand on his chest, and Yaone stepped towards him.
"Come with us." She held her hand out. "We don't want to fight you."
Gojyo stared at the trio. Yaone looked like her pockets were full of tricks and traps, Dokugakuji's sword was slung across his shoulder, and Kougaiji didn't need a weapon at all. Gojyo was alone, unarmed, pregnant, and tired. He simply chuckled, and edged along the wall, eyes darting to find an escape. "Why do you wanna mess with me? I've got nothing you want. All I can offer you is my undying love and a couple dirty stories, and maybe not even the former." He grinned nervously, sidling along the wall towards the main street. Yaone blocked him, her posture shifting as her hand slid to her hip. "Look, this ain't even a fair fight. I'm alone. If we're gonna rumble over the sutra, let me at least go get them so we can have some goddamn fun with it-"
"We don't care about that." Kougaiji stepped forward and stretched one arm to block his path to the street, and leaned towards him. His face was close to Gojyo's, like Sanzo's had been, and Gojyo flattened himself against the wall. "You're my friend's little brother. We're not going to let his niece or nephew get hurt. It wouldn't at all be fair."
"Get away from me." Gojyo shoved Kougaiji back with the flat of his palm. "I don't want you to protect me." He pushed himself off the wall and took a step forward, drawing his shoulders up and back. "I don't need your pity!"
"It would be no fun to fight you if you're at a disadvantage. You're coming with us." As Kougaiji spoke, Dokugaku slid around to Gojyo's other side, and Gojyo summoned his shakujou.
"If you think I'm going down without a fight, you got another thing comin'!" Gojyo thrust the back blade at Doku, who jumped back and drew his sword. Yaone slipped her hands in her pockets and whipped them back out, surrounding Gojyo with what looked like cherry bombs. Gojyo wasn't going to stick around and find out, and he vaulted over them into the narrow alleyways. His heart was pounding, and his body was protesting the effort, legs aching, stomach twisting, head spinning, but the thrill of the chase felt so good. He could hear them behind them, Kougaiji shouting orders at the others.
"Doku, west, Yaone, east! He can't have gotten far!" He kept moving, but he heard footsteps behind him. Then, he realized it was also all around him- his own footsteps rang in his ear like the blood rushing through his head. Since when did I walk this fucking loud?! He found another crossroads, three directions he could run, but heard a whistle behind him as he skidded to a halt and tried to catch his breath.
"He's this way! Hurry!" Yaone shouted from behind him, and he swore to himself and turned left. He saw a large shadow looming down that path, the blade in his hand looking ever bigger in the crooked streetlights, swore again and ran straight ahead. He had no idea where he was going, and the streets kept getting more and more narrow. Worse, a dull pain was starting to roar up from deep in his bowels, and he was feeling the strain.
I can't fight them, I can't run forever- what the fuck am I gonna do?!
He soon found his last option closed when the street dead-ended at a stone wall. He turned around, and saw Yaone close behind him, spear in hand. He tried to hide, but the light from the outer streets was too much. She smiled, a sympathetic look in her eyes.
"I don't want to hurt you."
"Same here." He kept his shakujou at the ready, and she didn't lower her spear. "Just let me go. That way, nobody gets hurt."
"I'm afraid I need to act in the interest of the baby." She moved closer, swinging the spear back.
"Then I need to act in the interest of me." He rushed forward, releasing the chain on the shakujou. She caught the chain on her spear and move into the opening, elbowing him in the breast. He wheezed, but shoved her back.
"Please stop!" She moved forward again, as he sidestepped and got back into a fighting stance. "I don't want to hurt you or the baby!"
"Bad news, sweetheart-" he punctuated this by rushing in, blade out. She caught him again and threw him back and shoved her hand into her side pocket. "It's a fight! Someone's gonna get hurt!" He swung the other blade around, but she caught the shaft on her arm and threw some sort of powder into his eyes. It stung and burned, and he began trying to rub it off. It only made it worse, and he staggered back, coughing and choking as he inhaled it.
"What..." He hacked, trying to spit it out. "The hell-"
"Table pepper." She caught her breath as he tried and failed to do the same. "It's relatively harmless." By the time he could look up again, she was joined by her male cohorts.
"Yeah," he coughed, and slumped to his knees. "Harmless."
Cornered, exhausted, and dizzy, Gojyo no longer had any defense when Doku and Kougaiji grabbed him and lifted him off the ground. The shakujou fell from his hand. Gojyo struggled to get loose, yelling hoarsely for help, as Yaone pulled out a length of rope and quickly tied Gojyo's wrists and ankles. One of his boots fell loose as he struggled, but he was tightly contained as Dokugakuji slung him over his shoulder. Gojyo grunted as his brother's shoulder pressed against his swollen middle.
"You're gonna be okay." He patted Gojyo's back, as Yaone wiped Gojyo's eyes and face clean with some chemical Gojyo couldn't place by smell. Kougaiji scoffed as Gojyo tried to turn his face away. "We'll make you comfortable, little bro. I'll stay with you as much as I can to keep you company, and we'll take care of the kid." Dokugakuji shifted Gojyo's weight against his chest, and Gojyo tried to be as much dead weight as he could. It was fruitless, as Kougaiji led them out of the alleys. It seemed he remembered the path they'd taken into the alleys, and soon they emerged onto the main street.
"Come on, bro, I don't wanna go, I just want to go back to my friends." Gojyo tried to struggle as they moved down the street towards Kougaiji's long-distance dragons.
"Don't worry about them. Don't you worry about anything anymore." Doku didn't make eye contact, coldly staring into the distance as he clamped Gojyo firmly to his shoulder. Gojyo looked over his shoulder. He could just see the sign for the inn the others were staying at, and his last bit of strength rose to his throat.
"Damn it all, if you ever gave a shit about anything, you'd help me now!" He screamed, not even knowing who he was screaming for, and tried to thrash against Dokugakuji, but Doku didn't even bat an eye.
"Yaone, can we chloroform him, or do you have a gag?"
"A gag will suffice, I think," Yaone replied, glancing between the brothers in worry. "I would make him unconscious, but it would probably harm the child." Yaone let Dokugakuji pass her, and he stopped, allowing Yaone to tie a rag around his mouth. Gojyo tried to bite through it, but it was no use. He whined and moaned through it, still trying to get loose, but Doku's grip was firm. Kougaiji scoffed quietly as he circled the two.
"Quit complaining. It'll make this a lot easier on all of us." Kougaiji mounted his dragon, as Gojyo tried to tell him exactly what he thought of him and his mother through the gag. Doku set Gojyo side-saddle and Yaone helped him tie Gojyo's wrists to the saddle horn. Doku mounted behind him, and dug his heels in.
Gojyo watched the city fade behind them as the dragon rose in the air. Well, I'm fucked. Last fucking thing I wanted tonight. He felt himself go lightheaded, and he passed out as they ascended past the rooftops.
Hakkai and Goku waited for Sanzo and Gojyo the next morning at the same table as the previous night in the now emptied tavern. Each was looking around and scratching their heads with anxiety over the rice and eggs at their places; Goku because he wanted to eat and couldn't until everyone was there, and Hakkai because he didn't know how the night had gone between the warring parties. Sanzo entered and joined the other two, and glanced between them. Both looked at him expectantly, and he cocked his brow.
"Don't stare at me like that." He took up the newspaper at his place and flipped it open. "Where's the lecher?"
"If you mean Gojyo, then we should ask you the same question," Hakkai said, rising from the table. Sanzo flipped a page over, hiding the anger rising in his cheeks behind the newsprint.
"How should I know? I'm not his keeper."
"He slept in your room last night." Hakkai's fingers twitched, but he kept his voice calm. "You know he's been volatile, Sanzo." Sanzo scoffed softly.
"He's an adult, he doesn't need me to sit him." Sanzo put the paper down and tossed it aside. "He left. Said he was going out and that he'd sleep in the hall." Hakkai backed away from the table and turned towards the door, then whirled back on the others.
"Goku, come on. Gojyo's done something stupid."
"Alright! It wasn't me this time!" Goku quickly wolfed down a bowl of rice, as something seemed to hit Sanzo. His eyes widened with horror, and he rested his hand on his forehead in thought. Hakkai folded his arms and tapped his feet as he waited for Goku to finish.
"Sanzo, do you have something to say?" Hakkai's eyes were fierce, and Sanzo couldn't help but be slightly intimidated. He looked away from Hakkai before he spoke.
"Kougaiji's man, Dokugakuji, tried to take him away before, offered him 'help.'" He bowed his head. "Given the situation, Gojyo may have agreed to go with him if asked again."
"Gojyo would never accept help from an enemy, even if he needed it." Goku threw his chopsticks down and jumped to his feet. Hakkai grabbed his own hair, but Goku clenched his fists. "He's too hardheaded, and he's not that stupid!"
"Then he could have been taken against his will. He could have been taken before… if I hadn't intervened…" Sanzo's eyes were distant, and Hakkai's jaw fell slack in panic.
"You didn't tell me- why didn't you tell me?! Why didn't he tell me?!" Hakkai began to pace in place, then took a big gulp of coffee. "It doesn't matter! We're going to look for him. Now!" He grabbed Goku by the back of his cape and pulled him out the door. Sanzo followed, but dragged his feet, his head hung.
Goku was not stupid. Naive, maybe, but not stupid. He knew regret when he saw it. He knew what Sanzo's slumped posture, and the shell-shocked look in his eyes said: "This is my fault. This is not what I wanted to happen. This is all my fault."
End Notes: Love this week's suggested tracks, too, especially the Konoba cover. Good times. Those of you reading for the first time probably didn't see this one coming, but as I've said elsewhere, it wouldn't be any fun if things didn't go awry!
Chapter 6A in two weeks. Until then, don't forget to review!
