Chapter Seven
The Onmitsukidō member, obviously not having expected to defend against an attack from Kuchiki Byakuya, panicked for just an instant as cherry blossoms fluttered peacefully around them. The next moment, the operative was reduced to little more than mush as the difference in reiatsu between them and Byakuya was too great to withstand even a single pass of Senbonzakura.
Byakuya dropped the remains of the operative onto the dark sand as he realized Renji was watching him dumbfounded. Though his consciousness was fading, with effort Byakuya pulled the blade from his own stomach and let it thunk into the sand. He held the wound as blood briefly flowed swiftly from it, instinctively using kidō to seal the wound.
"C-…Captain!" Renji cried in a panic, approaching him but not sure how to help. "What…why…"
Byakuya sighed. "Concern yourself with the fact that we are now trapped in Hueco Mundo until Kurotsuchi Mayuri deigns to open the garganta again. My guess would be that he will not voluntarily do so until Commander Yamamato asks him to, which may be hours from now. Perhaps even days."
Byakuya took a glance around them at the featureless, dark landscape, lit only by a distant moon in a starless, blackish sky. "For now, we should seek some shelter." He took a step toward a nearby sand dune, expecting Renji to follow. But suddenly his vision went blurry and his knees buckled.
Renji rushed forward and caught him before he fell. "Captain!" he cried. "What's wrong?!"
Byakuya reflexively touched the wound and attempted to use kidō to force it to heal faster, only to find he was unable to concentrate from something other than simple blood loss. An acquaintance with Shihouin Yoruichi enabled him to discover, even with his addled mind, what was happening.
"Poison," Byakuya guessed softly.
Renji gasped, his grasp on Byakuya tightening. "Captain…what should I do?"
Byakuya lost the last strength in his legs and Renji had to help him kneel in the sand. Panting and fighting delirium from a quickly rising fever, Byakuya managed, "Use…kidō…to remove it…from my blood."
"Captain…with my kidō skills, I could make it worse…"
"Then let me die," Byakuya snapped. "Help me…or don't. But make a decision…quickly."
Renji was clearly at a loss, having been unable to predict his day would turn into this. But clearly the threat of losing Byakuya was enough to push him past his self-doubt. "All right," he said, swallowing. "Forgive me, Captain. This may hurt."
Renji carefully helped Byakuya to lay down in the sand. He held his shaking hands a few inches over the wound in Byakuya's stomach. His hands had just started to glow with green kidō when a burst of sand and a hollow scream echoed far too close for comfort.
Though Byakuya was barely conscious now, he heard Renji curse, and then found himself being carried fast across the desert in Renji's arms. But after a moment, Renji clearly realized there was no way to get Byakuya to safety without defeating this hollow first. Byakuya found himself slung unceremoniously over Renji's shoulder.
"Hoero, Zabimaru!" Renji called out, drawing his sword with his free hand and swinging his shoulder widely to let his blade snake through the air.
Byakuya heard the sound of a mask shattering and the death wail of the hollow, then they were on the move again and he lost track of time.
He came to his senses again when Renji laid him down in what seemed to be a very dark cave. Soon, it was lit with the glow of Renji's hands and Byakuya came fully awake with a burning pain through his whole body.
"Ngh!" he cried, shocked by the pain and unable to hold back his voice.
"I'm sorry, Captain," Renji said softly. "I'm figuring out how to do this as I go. I think I've got it but it's going to hurt some more. Hang on."
Byakuya clenched his jaw as his blood felt like it was boiling. The pain didn't stop for a moment as Renji's rough kidō scraped the poison from his blood and tissue. Finally, after what felt like an unbearable amount of time, the glow of Renji's hands slowly faded. Byakuya breathed hard as, gradually, the pain began to fade with it.
"Captain…are you all right?" came Renji's hesitant voice. "How do you feel?"
With difficulty, but with clarity slowly returning to his mind, Byakuya nodded. "Unskillfully, you have succeeded in removing enough poison to avoid fatality."
"Thank god," Renji let out a deep sigh.
Byakuya felt a small tug at his sleeve. He turned his head a little to see that Renji, whether he was aware of it or not, was gripping Byakuya's sleeve with a shaking hand. Byakuya's chest ached with a different kind of pain. He closed his eyes and pushed that feeling away.
"Captain," came Renji's voice, after a few minutes of silence between them. "Just now…did you save my life?"
Byakuya sighed, instinctively declining to answer that. He knew he was in terrible danger now. As hard as it had been to hide his feelings alone with Renji during a moonlit night beneath the plum blossoms - but with the option to leave Renji's presence at any time - now he and Renji were truly alone for an indeterminable amount of time. How long could he keep this up with nowhere to run?
"Why…?" Renji murmured softly.
Byakuya's eyes widened. He looked up at Renji to try to glean from his expression what he could possibly mean by asking that question. "You don't know why I would want to save your life?"
Renji seemed hesitant to reply. His low voice came softly, and without any life in it, "I'm here to die anyway, aren't I?"
"Is that what you thought?" Byakuya whispered, his breath rushing out of him.
Renji's face was tortured as he refused to meet Byakuya's eyes. "I came here to do my duty," Renji murmured, his expression hardening with determination. "I broke my promise. I failed as your subordinate. And then…when you ordered me here, I…prepared myself to answer for what I had done."
Renji's face twisted in sadness, perhaps at his own words. He continued almost inaudibly, "Why are you getting hurt because of me again? How many times must I disappoint you? Captain, I…I would rather die here than-"
Byakuya couldn't bear to hear any more. He forced himself up and gripped Renji's shihakusho tightly in his fists, resting his head against his broad, warm chest. His control had broken. Being here alone with him, his body weak and his heart sickened from seeing Renji so sad, Byakuya clung to him as emotion welled up in his chest.
"Stop," he whispered against Renji's chest. "Don't say any more."
After a pause of shock, Renji sobbed. His hands hovered over Byakuya's shoulders, clearly desperate to return his embrace.
"What…are you doing to me?" Renji sobbed.
Then suddenly, he shot to his feet, forcing Byakuya to crumple against the sand, still too weak to sit up properly on his own. Renji had already turned away from him and was holding his head in frustration.
"You drive me insane!" Renji cried, his desperation echoing through the cave. "How can you be cruel except when I need you to be?! If you want me dead, why can't I just die?!"
Byakuya's fingers tightened in the sand before him. Even as his heart broke, still hope and love flickered in its depths and made it impossible to avoid this pain. "You would have preferred that I had let you die?" Byakuya asked softly.
Renji took in and let out a harsh breath, but after a moment he answered sharply, "Yes."
Byakuya closed his eyes. They felt hot. As his fingers trembled in the sand, a drop of moisture slid across his nose to fall in between his hands. "Loving me is more painful than dying?"
Renji's fists tightened at his sides, but he didn't turn. "...yes."
Byakuya needed a moment to come to terms with that. "I see," he murmured softly, when he was able.
With difficulty, he pushed himself up to a seated position. He looked out over the bleak, dimly lit sands beyond this cave Renji had found. In his weakness of body and heart at that moment, in Renji's rejection and with the risk of losing him even once they returned to Soul Society, he saw no way out. The only thought in his mind was that Renji had told him his presence was more painful than dying. So he couldn't stay here.
It took some effort to get his feet under him. With assistance from the cave wall, Byakuya was able to get to his feet. He struggled to move forward, away from Renji, out into the expanse of nothingness, alone. Behind him, he heard Renji gasp sharply.
"Captain! What…what are you doing now?" Renji demanded, approaching him.
"Leaving," Byakuya told him coldly.
"Where?! You said yourself, the garganta may not open for days!"
"Nowhere."
"Nowhere?! What…?" Renji whispered, recoiling.
"Do not concern yourself," Byakuya's voice broke, and he hung his head to hold back a wave of sadness. "I can't stay here."
With surprising force, considering his usual deference to Byakuya, Renji grabbed his arm and forced him back against the cave wall. "If you leave this cave in the state you're in, you will die," Renji barked.
"Renji. This is an order. Let me go."
"Shut up! Agh, I don't understand you!" Renji cried loudly, making Byakuya flinch. "I don't know what's happening to you, but I'll never allow you to be in danger. Order me all you like."
Renji's breath caught as he glimpsed the thing Byakuya was unable to hide anymore. Another tear ran down Byakuya's face against his will, even as he felt he had his facial expression under control now. He refused to meet Renji's gaze and struggled to maintain his composure as his heart broke.
"Renji. I fell in love with you when you left for Hueco Mundo the first time."
The words tumbled unbidden from Byakuya's lips. Strangely, once he said the words, and for the first time since that dark and sweet farewell in Renji's quarters, he felt relief rush over him. It had been a heavy weight denying his feelings, even to himself. And for this one moment at least, there was no danger his family would hear. For this moment, he could accept himself.
Renji, still holding one of Byakuya's shoulders, was frozen. Byakuya couldn't even be sure he was breathing. He didn't seem able to react at all to what he was hearing.
Byakuya took a breath to settle himself before he continued. "You know I can't accept you," he continued. "It's the same as killing my family." He took another breath as sadness washed over him again. "Being near you…is like poison. The kind that lulls as it kills." He pressed a shaking hand to Renji's chest, halfheartedly pushing him away. "The closer you are, the deeper it sinks into my heart. Let me go."
Renji still seemed unable to grasp what was being said to him. "Cap…tain…" he murmured.
Byakuya closed his eyes tightly, fighting the urge to draw Renji into his embrace. "Renji. My shoulder. Let me go," he repeated.
"I can't," Renji whispered.
Though knowing his fate would be sealed if he did, Byakuya reluctantly met Renji's gaze. The desire and love he saw there broke him completely. He blinked away yet another surge of moisture down his cheek, his fingers tightening in Renji's shihakusho.
"Please…" Byakuya whispered.
Instead of let him go, Renji slowly raised a hand to push Byakuya's hair away from his face. His hand remained gently holding Byakuya's chin, preventing him from turning away.
"I love you," Renji said gently.
Byakuya closed his eyes again, his breath shaking. To further exacerbate the pain in his heart, Renji drew close and kissed away the tears still forming in his eyes. He rested his head against Byakuya's and gently caressed his cheek.
"But I know…Captain…you're right. This doesn't change anything."
Byakuya looked up at him in shock and sadness, even though he was still fighting with himself, having expected that, if Renji wouldn't let him leave, he would at least kiss away his sorrows.
Renji lovingly grasped the hand that Byakuya still hand pressed against his chest. "It's funny though. I can't tell you how happy I am," Renji told him quietly.
"You don't want to die anymore?" Byakuya demanded.
Renji scoffed. "That would be a waste now. I…know your heart can never be mine. Because the larger part still belongs to your family."
Byakuya breathed in sharply as pain shocked through his chest, because he knew it was at least partly true.
Renji shrugged, seeming to be in an inappropriately good mood. "Except, I've tried to stop loving you and I can't. My heart will be yours forever, even if you can't return my feelings."
Byakuya closed his eyes again with a sigh. "What should we do?"
Silence hung between them for a moment, as each considered multiple unwelcome futures. The hopelessness seeped into the air between them, though tinged with the warmth of shared affection. But Renji's fingers soon tightened over Byakuya's hand.
"Don't hesitate, Captain. Give me orders."
Byakuya blinked up at him. Renji's eyes, though still filled with love, were the hard eyes of a soldier as he held Byakuya's. His determination was yet another thing Byakuya loved about him, he realized.
"Tell me what I can do to ease your suffering. Even the smallest thing. I'll do anything if it will make you happy, or even just ease your sadness a little."
Byakuya knew Renji likely meant how to keep a distance that was comfortable for him. But his fortress of will had crumbled.
"Kiss me," slipped out.
Renji took in a sharp breath, his brows furrowing in pain. But without hesitation, he pulled Byakuya's face toward him and captured his mouth in a passionate kiss. Byakuya tried to control the waves of sensation rocketing through his body. He even felt his penis twitch as Renji's lips and tongue caressed his own. But moments later his duty resurfaced in his heart.
He pulled away, turning his face just a little from Renji's, unable to do more than this.
Renji rested his head in the crook of Byakuya's neck, the sensation of his breath causing shivers of pleasure to run down Byakuya's spine and further weakening his small resistance.
"Give me orders, Captain," Renji murmured in desperation. "What would ease your suffering?"
Byakuya's breath was coming raggedly now as the battle inside his heart reached its conclusion. Slowly, he moved both hands around to Renji's back. As if pleading with himself or with Renji, he was not sure, his fingers tightened in the fabric over Renji's broad, muscular back.
As the last of his resistance crumbled, Byakuya whispered, "Don't stop, even if I ask you to."
"Captain," Renji murmured, despairingly. "I don't want to do that."
Byakuya breathed out a harsh breath of frustration. "You are a fool," he said. "I am telling you what will ease my suffering. Wanting you is...painful," he whispered, close to Renji's ear. Renji shivered, his grasp tightening. "Any moment I may come to my senses and push you away. Either having you or not having you is hell. If I will regret either choice, then make it for me."
Renji didn't respond at first. Like an affectionate dog, he gently nuzzled Byakuya's neck. "Are you sure? Please, Captain...I don't want to hurt you."
Byakuya couldn't help but be moved by Renji's continuing loyalty, even after he had already asked so much of him. Byakuya let out a soft sigh and rested his cheek against the warmth of the open skin in the center of Renji's shihakusho. He closed his eyes, allowing himself a moment to enjoy Renji's heat.
"Do not make me repeat myself," Byakuya murmured in an intimate voice against Renji's skin.
Renji shuddered from head to toe. When he grasped Byakuya even harder against him, Byakuya felt Renji's hardness brush against his own, even through the many layers of clothing separating them. And then the flood of desire swept away his last effort to cling to duty.
Byakuya let out an audible moan as Renji's lips teased the skin of his neck, while one of his hands curved around Byakuya's rear and grasped it tightly. Byakuya's hips shook as desire raced through him. He'd never wanted anyone so badly before. It was terrifying.
But he was still weak and his knees quickly buckled. Renji easily held him to prevent him from falling, but soon after helped him down onto his back in the sand. Byakuya found himself alternately pulling Renji closer and pushing him away as Renji's lips dragged gasps out of him.
Renji stopped at one point and met Byakuya's gaze. His eyes searched Byakuya's as if to make sure this was all right. Just as Byakuya was about to admonish him for hesitating, his rough hand rose near Byakuya's face. His fingers brushed Byakuya's hair from his forehead. Rough fingers traced Byakuya's temple and cheek, barely touching him, before that large and calloused hand cupped Byakuya's face as Renji looked down at Byakuya with a complex expression.
"What is it?" Byakuya asked him.
Renji's brows furrowed a little, but he did not answer. Instead, after his eyes passed from one of Byakuya's to the other with that same difficult expression, he cast them aside for a moment. After looking at Byakuya once more, he traced his hand further down Byakuya's neck, fingers just brushing his ear. Byakuya almost jumped. That light touch, gentle but almost teasing, was surprisingly stimulating.
As those fingers traced down further, slipping underneath Byakuya's haori and shihakusho, he found his breath rate increasing against his will. Renji's fingers brushed his nipple and he reflexively held his breath and shut his eyes as a shock of pleasure went through his body. He let out a shaking breath and tried to control himself as Renji's hand caressed his shoulder to slip off his clothes.
But the realization that Renji was likely going to invade his body this time hit Byakuya suddenly as his skin was exposed to the chill air, and the unease made him feel almost ill. He snapped his hand up and grasped Renji's wrist tightly, silently asking him to stop. Even though he knew he would regret stopping now.
Pity and longing filled Renji's eyes as he looked down at him. Rather than break out of Byakuya's grip, though he should have been able to easily, he leaned down close and brushed a soft kiss against Byakuya's forehead.
Stroking Byakuya's hair, he whispered, "It's all right. Feeling good right now doesn't change who you are. You're being kind to accept my feelings. You're not gay, you love Hisana-sama, and you're not betraying anyone."
Byakuya felt heat run down his cheek, and for a moment he thought Renji was crying. How foolish. It was Renji's kindness that was breaking his heart, not the other way around.
He halfheartedly lifted his chest to allow Renji to pull his other shoulder out from his clothes, and watched as Renji also untied his obi. With the same reverence as he had done with Byakuya's face, his fingers traced down the muscles and indents of Byakuya's chest, so soft as to be barely touching. Byakuya's breathing heightened again in spite of himself. As his desire rose, he found himself staring at the small part of Renji's chest that was showing.
Renji seemed to notice his gaze. Obligingly, he stopped touching Byakuya and instead untied his own obi. In truth, Byakuya felt a small desire to pull Renji's shikahusho off himself, but he couldn't bring himself to be that brazen. Instead, Renji sat back and shrugged off the garment as Byakuya watched.
Renji's triangular, tattooed chest rose and fell heavily with impassioned breaths as he held Byakuya's gaze, even though they were barely touching now. He leaned close again and stole a deep kiss. Byakuya fought the urge to wrap his arms around Renji's neck as sweet sensations rolled over him, settling for pulling back slightly on his shoulders.
Renji briefly sat back again, but this time it was to slowly reach around Byakuya's waist and pull down his hakama. Byakuya shivered as Renji's fingers caressed his hips. But Renji didn't even look as Byakuya's hard cock came into view. Instead, after pulling them down far enough, Renji's hands both ran softly down the skin of Byakuya's right thigh, making him twitch. Renji pushed his knee up to allow the fabric to fall away and reveal the porcelain skin of Byakuya's leg. With the same reverence as before, he ran his fingers down every inch of Byakuya's leg, even caressing the bottom of his foot.
Though this alone had been enough to send surprising waves of pleasure through Byakuya's body, Renji turned back and repeated this sensual worship with Byakuya's other leg. By the time his fingers brushed the sole of Byakuya's left foot, Byakuya was panting out loud.
Renji didn't allow him much time to recover from this before wrapping his arms around Byakuya's chest and sucking down on one of his nipples. Byakuya gasped. He couldn't stop his fingers from digging into the skin of Renji's back. He felt guilty for a moment, but if anything Renji seemed to like that.
"I love everything about you, Captain," Renji whispered against his chest.
Byakuya froze, his cock hardening painfully at that unexpected confession. "Worship is different from love," he found himself replying bitterly, even though he only wanted to respond in kind. "Even worse if it's only physical."
Renji frowned down at him curiously. "You mean I only fell for your looks?"
"You wouldn't be the first," Byakuya muttered, turning away.
But to his surprise, Renji laughed. "I love how proud you are too. Of course you're right, no one could find any fault with how you look. But if that were the only reason, it would have been love at first sight."
Byakuya flicked an annoyed glance at him. "You mean to imply that it wasn't?"
Renji froze with an awkward expression. "L-…let's change the topic…"
"It is not yet finished."
"Okay, but later…"
"Renji," Byakuya growled.
Renji's wild red head fell in resignation as he let out a sigh. "When we first met, I thought you were a beautiful but horrible demon."
Byakuya's eyes widened. Somehow, although he shouldn't care, he had always considered Renji's loyalty absolute, and his admiration of Byakuya a given. The thought that that hadn't always been the case was a shock and a blow to Byakuya's normally unshakeable self-esteem. He did not like that at all.
"Get off me," he said, pushing Renji back by his bare shoulder, although even touching Renji's bare skin was still exciting for him.
"Hang on, Captain!" Renji stopped him, holding his shoulders. He looked him seriously in the eye. "Not because of who you were. Because I thought you were taking Rukia away forever. I may not love her the way I love you, but she's the closest thing I have to family."
"I know," Byakuya muttered, though still not convinced.
"You were an adversary. And one I could never hope to reach. I spent every moment thinking about how to become your equal. That quest to match you made me realize how far you were above me. Naturally that appraisal became admiration. But it took a long time for admiration to become love. Almost all the time I've known you. That's why…when you just said you loved me…I was so happy I thought I might die."
As he said this, Renji gathered Byakuya into his arms and let his head rest on Byakuya's chest. "If this is a dream I don't want to wake up."
Byakuya's eyes fluttered closed. Renji's words were making his chest ache, but not unpleasantly. Against his better judgment, he placed a hand on Renji's head. He felt the thick, red hair beneath his fingers and shivered at the feeling of Renji's breath against his chest.
"It is a dream," Byakuya murmured. "And for this moment, I am the one who loves you in return. Only in your dream."
Renji's grasp around Byakuya tightened until it hurt, but Byakuya only closed his eyes against and relished the fleeting euphoria he felt in Renji's arms. "Captain!" Renji whispered harshly against his chest, before grasping Byakuya's face in both hands and kissing him passionately again.
Byakuya let out gasps in between these overpowering kisses, reflexively shifting his hips away from Renji, ashamed of his hardness. But moments later, Renji was already kissing down his stomach, even stopping for a moment to tease his belly button. Fortunately Byakuya found that a turn-off and was able to restore some sanity before Renji pushed up his thighs and sucked down on the inside of one. Byakuya's breath stopped and his hips twitched.
Byakuya desperately tried to calm down as pleasure and anticipation assaulted him, but suddenly Renji's tongue caressed his cock from base to tip before his mouth swallowed its entirety. Byakuya couldn't hold back a breathy moan, his fingers gripping Renji's hair.
"Mm…" Renji moaned against his cock. Byakuya gasped as he fought the urge to cum already. "Captain…don't hold back. Cum inside my mouth."
With that, he wrapped both arms around Byakuya's thigh and began sucking his cock vigorously. Byakuya was already far too stimulated by everything Renji had done up until this point, he had no resistance to Renji's forceful sucking.
"Ren…ji…" Byakuya whispered helplessly as an orgasm hit him.
He threw his head back with a shuddering gasp, forcefully holding Renji's head tight to his hips. It took almost twenty seconds for him to finish. His cock twitched over and over in the warmth of Renji's throat. Finally he collapsed, shivering, against the sand as the feeling began to fade.
Slowly, Renji drew Byakuya's cock from his mouth, maintaining suction to lick every drop of cum from it, and making Byakuya twitch. Finally relief as his mouth left Byakuya's cock. Byakuya panted to restore his sanity.
But the next thing he knew, Renji flipped him over onto all fours. Byakuya couldn't hold himself up by his arms and soon crumpled, but Renji kept his hips high for easy reach. And just as Byakuya wondered what he was doing, a warm tongue pressed against his anus.
"Ah!" Byakuya cried in shock. "Ren…ji…stop…"
But as Renji's powerful tongue, coated with his own cum, slowly invaded his most intimate part, pleasure began to overpower his embarrassment. That dexterous tongue surged inside him like a tentacle, drawing out surprised gasps of pleasure from him. Every other move of it sent a flash of electricity up his spine. Byakuya was at a loss as to why this felt so good.
Even harder to bear was the fact that each time it thrust gently inside him, it failed to reach a point that somehow Byakuya knew he wanted it to. He felt just a little further and it would feel even better. He didn't realize as his hips shifted, encouraging Renji to delve deeper.
But instead of answering that desire, the next moment that tongue slowly dragged out of him. Byakuya closed his eyes to recover from that strangely pleasurable sensation. Then he realized Renji had two of his fingers deep inside his own mouth, and was coating them with saliva and the remains of Byakuya's cum. Byakuya froze, knowing what would come next. Panic struck him and he tried to move away.
Renji grasped him around his chest with his free hand and pressed a kiss to Byakuya's back, making him shiver. "It's all right, Captain. Concentrate on feeling good."
Renji slowly pressed one finger inside Byakuya's hole. Byakuya shuddered. Though his tongue had only felt good, this finger invading him was slightly uncomfortable. It swirled around inside him and provoked some of the same pleasure, but was not as warm or soft as Renji's tongue. Still, Byakuya was getting used to it when it invaded a little further and brushed that spot he'd been wanting Renji's tongue to hit. Byakuya trembled as his cock ached, a gasp caught in his throat.
"I found it?" Renji asked interestedly. "The prostate. You asked me if it felt better than direct genital stimulation, Captain. What do you think?"
Saying this, he flicked Byakuya's prostate repeatedly several times. Byakuya's vision blurred as pleasure briefly blocked out logical thought. This was humiliating. When Renji's movements slowed down for a moment, Byakuya was able to manage a reply.
"Know…your…place," he panted.
But Renji's only reply to this was to press a kiss to the highly sensitive spot in between Byakuya's balls and his hole. Byakuya gasped, writhing against his own clothes resting on the sand. With that, Renji added another finger. Byakuya barely managed to hold onto sanity as, after just a few moments of stretching him out, was able to thrust his fingers smoothly into Byakuya over and over, each time pressing against his prostate. When Renji added a third finger, only a hint of pain at being stretched saved Byakuya from cumming again.
"Are you all right, Captain?" Renji asked him softly, leaning over him to speak against his neck. "Does it feel good?"
Byakuya's whole body trembled, despite his embarrassment, already imagining what it would feel like to have Renji's cock inside him. It still scared him, but the more Renji's fingers pleasured him, the less that fear mattered.
"I will…inform you…if it does not," Byakuya panted noncommittally.
"Can I put it in?" Renji murmured.
Byakuya bit his lip. How could he answer that? It was already so shameful to have another man doing this to him, not to mention his enjoying it. But it was not just another man, he realized, as Renji patiently waited for his response. He turned his head to view the loving, desperate expression in Renji's face. Byakuya sighed, a warm feeling spreading through his chest.
"Do what you like," he said.
Renji pressed his head affectionately into Byakuya's neck again, breathing in the scent of his hair. Byakuya's eyes fluttered as tingling sensations rose from that spot, but then Renji pulled aside his hair and kissed a sensitive spot on the back of his neck. He twitched as pleasure rose within him, and during that sensation, Renji replaced his fingers with his cock.
Byakuya bit back a wave of pain. Renji's cock, as he just remembered, was above average size. Three fingers might not have been enough to prepare him. But it was too late to think of that now as, slowly, Renji invaded deeper and deeper inside him. Byakuya pushed himself up onto his elbows and rested his head in his clothes, clenching his jaw. He was a fool to have agreed to this. He suddenly felt pity for Renji having done this to him, though of course he wanted it.
Byakuya was concentrating on holding back pain as Renji's cock brushed his prostate. Byakuya flinched, his eyes widening in shock. But it was true, that had felt good. It felt wrong to feel pleasure and pain at the same time. But even as he pondered this, Renji's cock slowly slid in deeper. The pressure on his prostate increased and a soft gasp escaped Byakuya's lips. His cock, which had softened a little as Renji first entered, began to twitch and harden again.
But the very fact that he was starting to enjoy this continued to eat away at Byakuya's pride. He panted against his own clothes, fighting increasingly pleasurable sensations. Unlike when he was on top, he currently felt at the mercy of the desire coursing through him, the pleasure from everywhere Renji touched him. And that was before Renji even began to move.
Finally, Renji let out a heavy breath, wrapping his arms around Byakuya's chest from behind and resting his head against his shoulder. "I don't believe it…it's all inside already…is it true, you really love me, Captain?"
Byakuya blinked with sudden embarrassment at being asked that now. "I will…not…repeat myself…" he whispered, his face feeling hot with embarrassment.
"Captain…" Renji cried, and in desperation he tugged Byakuya's chin toward him to kiss him.
The combination of being kissed and having Renji's cock twitching against his prostate was almost too much, and Byakuya soon pulled away. He breathed heavily there for a moment to restore his sanity and let his pride recover. Heedless to Byakuya's existential crisis, Renji's hands roamed over his chest, making him shiver in pleasure again.
But after a few moments, Byakuya noticed something. Renji was doing little other than gently touch parts of his body and kiss his back. He wasn't moving. Byakuya turned his face to raise an eyebrow up at him. "What are you doing?" he demanded.
Renji didn't seem to have expected to be called out on this. "Well…it's your first time, and…I'm…on the big side…" he muttered, his face growing bright red.
"And?"
Renji swallowed, clearly fighting back pleasant sensations from being inside Byakuya. "I don't want to hurt you at all, Captain. In my experience it's best to wait for a while until it feels good. It will be worth it later, so…"
Byakuya quickly turned away, hiding his shame by pressing his forehead into his clothes.
"Captain?"
Byakuya refused to answer, though he couldn't stop his hips from twitching in frustration. He shuddered.
"Does it hurt very much?"
Byakuya let out an angry sigh. They weren't going to get anywhere like this. "Do not concern yourself," he replied, his pride preventing him from stating it any more clearly than that.
"Don't say that. Like you said to me once, there's no point in doing this if it hurts you."
"…doesn't…" Byakuya muttered, unable to manage sufficient volume.
"What was that, Captain?"
"It does not hurt," Byakuya growled.
Renji paused for a moment, trying to see his expression. He gently ran his fingers through Byakuya's hair, making it easier to see the side of his face, along with the blush on his cheeks. "Forgive me, Captain."
With that, he reached one hand around and stroked Byakuya's hard and quivering cock. An indecent noise fell from Byakuya's lips. He closed his eyes and rested the side of his face against his own clothes as Renji cruelly stroked even more pleasure from him.
"I didn't think you would be able to so soon, but…are you already feeling good, Captain?" Renji asked in wonder.
Byakuya gritted his teeth in irritation. "Do you enjoy humiliating me?" he demanded.
But Renji barely seemed to have heard him. "You are perfect," Renji whispered, shocking Byakuya into another wave of pleasure.
At that moment, he dragged his cock a few inches out and thrust it back in. Byakuya's breath caught. Along with a flicker of pain and discomfort, Renji's hand on his cock and his cock thrust against his prostate caused Byakuya's mind to briefly drift near unconsciousness from the sudden onslaught of pleasure. He wasn't prepared for Renji to thrust again, but when the pleasure hit him again this time a helpless cry rose from Byakuya's lips.
"Captain…" Renji panted, slowly rolling his hips against him again and again.
Byakuya's fingers gripped his own shihakusho as he tried to hold back the sensations sweeping his body. Even though it scared him, even if it made him feel mortified, he ached for Renji. He wanted even more than Renji's gentle, almost massage-like thrusting inside him. He couldn't meet Renji's thrusts with his own as he wanted to, but his body relaxed to allow Renji to enter even deeper.
"Ah…" Renji cried as Byakuya's hole twitched around him. Gradually, and clearly exhibiting every ounce of his self-control, he began to increase the pace of his thrusts. He pulled out until barely more than the tip was inside and engaged in faster, shallow thrusts here for a time.
Byakuya bit back a moan from the repeated, soft thrusts against his prostate. "Renji…" he whispered, not knowing what he wanted him to do about it.
Renji let out a moan, but slowly began to deepen each thrust. When he was only thrusting halfway inside, Byakuya was using all his strength not to cum. He prayed Renji would not do anything else to stimulate him until he got used to the repeated onslaughts of pleasure.
Finally, Renji thrust all the way inside him and held it here for a few seconds as both men twitched in sensation. Even though it was maximum pressure against his prostate, Renji stopping here allowed Byakuya a moment to breathe and return to his senses.
However, the next moment, Renji quickly pulled all the way out. Byakuya gasped at the rough brush against his prostate and the sudden feeling of emptiness. But then Renji flipped him over onto his back. Byakuya was not prepared for Renji's cock to thrust inside him again right away, this time from a different angle.
"Ah…!" a moan escaped him. He flushed with shame and turned his face away, hiding part of it with his hand. "Control yourself," he muttered.
But Renji quickly trapped his mouth in an overpowering kiss, while at the same time his fist wrapped tightly around Byakuya's cock and seemed to squeeze all possible pleasure out from it. And that was all Byakuya could take.
"Ngh!" Byakuya cried into Renji's mouth, his eyes going wide as pleasure overtook his misgivings.
Renji thrust mercilessly inside him a few times as Byakuya's cock spurted dilute cum over his own stomach. Renji stopped as Byakuya's hole tightened around him, and his lips parted from Byakuya's as he twitched in desperation.
"Ah…Cap…tain!" Renji cried, his hips shaking.
Byakuya tensed and then shivered as he felt warmth fill his stomach. Though it felt good, the realization that he had another man's semen inside him was deeply upsetting.
But Renji kept twitching long after, even as he wrapped his arms around Byakuya and rested his head in his neck sweetly. "Ah…Captain…" he panted, shaking. "What should I do? It won't stop…"
Byakuya bit his lip as this soft confession stoked his desire once again. He wrapped his arms around Renji's neck. Despite his intense embarrassment, he murmured, "I'm not satisfied either."
"Ahhh…" Renji moaned, and seconds later thrust hard inside Byakuya again. He twitched for a moment but then managed to take up a fast pace again, with shallow, deep thrusts. Byakuya desperately held him as he felt his lower half grow numb and hot.
For what felt like hours, and even after Byakuya asked him to stop twice, Renji dragged pleasure out of Byakuya in any way he could think of. But after cumming inside him several times, Renji met Byakuya's gaze with a forlorn puppy-dog expression.
"Captain…I know it's asking a lot but…do you think you could…?"
Byakuya frowned irritably at his vice-captain. "That is quite an impertinent request. It was my first time, yet you showed no restraint, and even came inside me. Moreover, you are still inside me."
"Sorry…" Renji mumbled. But even though he flushed all the way up to his ears, made no move to rectify the last issue. "So…it's a no?" he persisted hesitantly.
Byakuya closed his eyes with a sigh. "You seem to enjoy insulting me." With that, and despite his own pride bringing a flush to his cheeks as he did, Byakuya inserted three fingers into Renji's mouth. Renji made a noise of surprise before his eyes fluttered and he sucked lasciviously on Byakuya's fingers.
In a softly dangerous purr, Byakuya continued, "To imagine that either you are capable of exhausting me, or that your skills in bed are superior to mine, is a misapprehension that is insulting and in need of correction."
Byakuya enjoyed the increasingly pleasure-drowned face of his vice-captain as he thrust his fingers deep inside his mouth over and over. Finally he relented and removed his fingers to allow Renji to rest, though his tongue lolled out as if begging for more. Without waiting long, Byakuya reached around and slipped one wet finger into Renji's hole.
"Ah!" Renji cried, arching his back in shock.
Byakuya teased him this way, even as Renji's cock quivered desperately inside him, until he deemed he was loose enough for another finger.
"Cap…tain…!" Renji moaned, his chest quickly rising and falling with his ragged breath and his eyes growing misty with pleasure.
He helplessly thrust in time with Byakuya's fingers thrusting inside him. And by the time Byakuya added a third finger, he couldn't take any more. Renji cried out and once again came inside Byakuya, though by now he had already given all he had and he twitched desperately as he had a dry orgasm.
Renji collapsed, still twitching, on top of Byakuya. This annoyed him. After making sure he had recovered enough from the poison to use most of his upper body strength, Byakuya pushed Renji off onto his back beside him. Renji closed his eyes, still trembling with sensation. He was not prepared as Byakuya rose to his knees over him.
Renji blinked in surprise. "Captain…are you feeling better already?"
"Silence that insolent tongue," Byakuya instructed.
Without further warning, he pulled Renji's hips up to meet his own and slowly slid his cock inside him. "Nnnh…!" Renji cried, throwing his head back. "Ah…Captain…I love you!"
"I am aware."
Despite his exhaustion, the look of pleasure on Renji's face gave Byakuya new energy, and he made every effort to return what he had received. The time passed quickly as Renji filled the cave with lascivious moans. As both men finally spent themselves completely, Renji grasped Byakuya's face in his hands again.
"Captain," Renji murmured softly. "Did it help? Is your suffering less, even a little?"
Byakuya let out a small sigh as he observed Renji's flushed and concerned face. On impulse, he pressed a brief kiss to Renji's lips. "In a way I think it is greater than before." As Renji's face began to turn to horror, Byakuya murmured softly, "A soothing poison, and a pleasant suffering."
