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Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi and not this overtired, majorly bored and moderately cranky at the moment fan fiction writer.
Notes. Aha! Well, its not exactly late afternoon, but here is the afore mentioned second part. Whew… another long one, 16 pages in word processor. I will not be doing a chapter tomorrow (Sunday) mostly because if I hog the computer all day again my kid will make me so miserable I will be looking for a shaman priestess to make a subjugation bead necklace with the commands "DOWN GIRL, DOWN!"
Anyhoo, enjoy the chapter and Ill cya again next week.
Oh btw, not sure what updates are looking like for next week yet because of the holiday on Thursday. I have no life however, so I am sure I will do at least three.

Puppy Love,

CJ

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Part One

Chapter Seven

Finding Home


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InuYasha desperately wanted to be sick.

Kutabare….Baka temee, Kutabare! Kikyo may have been dead, but at least she never led men on to get things from them like you do,

He couldn't stop hearing the words,

flaunting yourself around half naked with what's his name in your time and kami knows who else.

they resonated in his head, torturing him.

Eh? Fucking yariman.

If he had any guts he would he would transform Tessiaga and plunge it into his fucking neck. He knew he didn't deserve her, as usual he had proven it.

Eh? Fucking yariman.

No, this time he had sunk to an all new low.

InuYasha looked across the cave where Kagome and Sango stood. Her face was still ghostly white, completely devoid of color as it had been since he had crossed that awful line. She would never forgive him for this. She couldn't, how could she?

"Don't beat yourself up InuYasha." Miroku admonished

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Everyone says things they wish they could take back when they are angry."

"Not like this. I called her a yariman Miroku. A fucking yariman!" InuYasha got up and started walking toward the entrance to the cave.

"InuYasha, where are you going?" Miroku followed him. "You can't leave, not in that storm."

InuYasha stopped, and then turned abruptly, heading for the waterfall followed by Miroku.

He sat down on the rocks on the other wall staring at the crystal clear water.

"I don't know what to do." He sighed finally, putting his head in his hands.

Miroku noticed Sango on the rocks on the other side, picking her way down.

"I don't know InuYasha…I think…"

"InuYasha, Miroku…" Sango having made her way to the bottom of the rocks was now running towards them

"What's wrong?" Miroku walked out to meet her, InuYasha looked up in alarm, a feeling of dread growing in his gut.

"Kagome, she…." Sango began At Kagome's name, Inuyasha looked up sharply, leaping to where Miroku and Sango stood.

"What about Kagome?"

"You have to go after her…. She …"

"She what?" InuYasha asked impatiently.

"Calm down InuYasha, your not letting her tell us anything." Miroku put his hand on InuYasha's arm. It was only the memory of all the trouble caused by an earlier sentence that he hadn't been allowed to be complete that kept him from blowing up.

He nodded, forcing himself to remain restrained.

"She left the cave."

"Maybe she just went for air." Miroku suggested.

Sango shook her head. "She took all of her things, I asked her where she was going, and she said…she said she was moving out."

"SHE WHAT?" InuYasha's face drained of all color, then he brushed past, Miroku and Sango on his heels. "Damn it, this fucking shit has gone too far. She's probably trying to get home. She going to get herself killed."

"Are you going after her InuYasha?"

"Of course." He glanced at Miroku like he was the world's biggest idiot.

"Kagome isn't dumb InuYasha; she knows it's too dangerous to be out in this kind of storm. Likely she didn't go too far."

"He's right" Sango added "She went into one of the other caves."

"So what are you saying Miroku? That I should just leave her out there to freeze to death?" InuYasha felt a hand on his arm, he was about to turn around and swing, and then he realized it was Sango.

"InuYasha, wait a minute." Miroku's voice came up on the opposite side of the hand on his arm.

Smooth Miroku, real smooth.

InuYasha stopped, clenching his teeth to remain calm.

"What do you want houshi?" he clenched and unclenched his fists inside his sleeves, irritated at the constant delays. He could have had Kagome back here by now.

"Kagome isn't going to come willingly you know"
Now he was wasting time with the obvious? InuYasha felt his blood boil.

"Yeah so?"

"How are you going to convince her?" Miroku was actually serious about this shit? He knew there was no reasoning with Kagome when she was like this.

"Kicking and screaming probably. What are you getting at?"

InuYasha decided that if Miroku made him waste one more minute on this nonsense, the next fist he made in his sleeve was headed for the ecchi houshi's face

"Hear me out. If you go over there now and try to drag her back, as upset as you both are, it is just going to make things worse."

Inuyasha's fist tightened in his sleeve, Miroku had about two seconds to get out of his way.

"InuYasha" Sango pleaded "Please, listen."

InuYasha took a deep breath and nodded.

"Right now, Kagome is somewhere where we can still keep an eye on her and make sure she is safe. But if things get worse, there is no telling what Kagome might try to do."

InuYasha sighed deeply, resignation taking over from head to toe. Kagome had many really wonderful traits, but being clear thinking and rational wasn't one of them. If this went much farther, Kagome very well could try to make it down the mountainside alone. He would rather lose every bit of his pride than to lose her.

"You'll make sure she has a fire and is comfortable?"

"Of course." Miroku agreed.

"If the cave isn't acceptable, you have to move her to one that is."

Miroku nodded, glancing at Sango while both of them tried not to grin at one another. Life would be a hell of a lot more peaceful if InuYasha and Kagome would just quit being so stubborn and admit how much they loved each other.

InuYasha turned to Sango "And you know where she is"

"Yes, I watched her when she left, going through the other caves"

"Damn it. Let's go Miroku." InuYasha began walking to the cave entrance.

"You're coming?" Miroku caught up to him

InuYasha rolled his eyes. "How the hell am I supposed to protect her if I am sitting in here baka houshi?"


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Kagome sat cross-legged on her sleeping bag sewing the buttons back on her pajama top; doing everything she could to push her terrible words out of her mind. Unfortunately for her, the storm had just ended, the winds dying down leaving only a soft pretty snow falling, she was left with a calm and quiet night when she would have preferred a nice stormy distraction outside to take her mind off the ugly storm going on inside.

Talk about impossible.

She couldn't bear it, when she remembered the look on his face, all the hurt from her words… all she wanted was to crawl inside her snakeskin and die.

"Kagome?" Miroku peeked his head around the corner

Kagome attempted to muster up a smile, coming up with more of a half grimace instead.

"Miroku…what are you doing here?"

"Sango told me where you were, I came to check on you." he sat across the fire from her.

"I'm fine thank you. How is…" Kagome looked down, feeling like she didn't even have a right to say his name.

"he." she finished

"InuYasha is fine" Miroku couldn't miss the way Kagome flinched when he said the name. "Not happy of course."

The guilt and hatred at herself crawled from her stomach into her neck, threatening to gag her. A sob rose in Kagome's throat and she couldn't hold it back any longer.

"SHIT!" She yelled, throwing her pajama top into the corner across from where she sat. "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!" She sent her small sewing kit and then her flashlight to join it with very satisfying crashes.

"Kagome…"Miroku moved to sit next to her, taking her hand

Kagome pulled her knees up to her chin, putting her head down, crying onto her knees.

"I really did it this time Miroku. I really, really fucked everything up." She lifted her head, turning it to lie sideways and wiping at her cheeks.

"Just give it a little time."

"You didn't see his face, kami, how he must hate me now." Kagome sniffled, wishing for the entire world that she had brought a bigger supply of tissues.

"InuYasha doesn't hate you; I don't think he could hate you if he tried." Miroku rubbed her back, careful not to give her the wrong idea considering his ecchi history.

"No, He has to hate me. What I said was so awful, it was mean, and worse, it was spiteful to Kikyo. That's the most awful thing…I was spiteful to Kikyo. How could I be so cruel?" Kagome began crying harder. "So you see? He has to hate me now."

"Why?"

"Because…Because I HATE me!"

"Oh Kagome. That's not true. There's too much that is good about you for anyone to hate you."

"Well, I do. I was mean and spiteful to two people that I care about, and I can never forgive myself for that"

Miroku sighed, patting her shoulder.

"You've had a really long day and you were up really early. Part of the reason you feel so horrible is probably because you're so tired." He reached for the top of her sleeping bag, pulling it back.

"Come on, get in bed and get some sleep." Kagome lay down and Miroku zipped the heavy zipper up to her chin.

Miroku brushed her hair from her forehead. "You'll see, things will look better in the morning. Okay?"

Kagome looked at him, Miroku nodded in encouragement, earning himself a small smile.

"Okay." He stood up to leave the cave; the sound of her crying reached his ears before he even left the entrance.

Miroku stepped out of the cave and looked around for InuYasha, he looked up just in time to find him sitting on the rocks above the cave, too shocked by her words to wipe his own tears away before Miroku saw them.


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InuYasha looked down at Miroku, hastily wiping his face on his sleeves. Miroku began walking towards the cave and InuYasha jumped down to follow after him. They stopped outside of the big cave, InuYasha turned back to where Kagome lay crying.

"I've always known I didn't deserve her. If that doesn't prove my point I don't know what does."

Miroku looked at him, offering him a half smile and a pat on the back, then he turned at entered the cave and InuYasha returned to his vigil on the rocks.

He couldn't help thinking about what he had overheard.

Kagome was angry with herself, but not just because her words had hurt him, but because they were spiteful to Kikyo. Kikyo, the woman from InuYasha's past that had with him, been the cause of so much of Kagome's pain. The woman who had tried to kill them both on more than one occasion. Kami. It made him hate himself even more for his contributions to the argument.

InuYasha was overcome with the need to be close to her, he jumped down, then sat down just inside the entrance of the cave where he could easily pick up her scent. Aside from the moment when she had rested her cheek on his back, it was the only moment of peace that he had.


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Kagome woke late in the night, the fire had burned down to faint glowing embers and she was disorientated, not knowing where she was. She reached her hand out into the darkness for her flashlight but her hand found nothing but empty space. That one simple moment of remembering, why it wasn't it its usual spot started a chain reaction, her memory returned with disgusting speed and clarity, triggering a violent return of her tears.

Kagome rolled over, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them, successfully curling into a ball and burying herself as deep as she could into her sleeping bag.

InuYasha sat less than ten feet away, his hands fisted in his lap while he fought the gasping sobs that rested at the base of his throat, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as if that could stop his pain.

He couldn't take it much longer he knew, he would have to go and wake Miroku soon and ask the houshi to sit watch over her. That was his only hope of escaping the night with even the smallest bit of his mind in tact. He pushed himself up from the ground, stepping out into the cold night to wake the only relief for his torture.

The picture floated in front of Kagome's eyes once again of how InuYasha had looked with his hair shining in the sunlight and reflection off the snow that afternoon. Her heart was calling out to him of its own will, forcing his name to her lips…

"InuYasha…" she sobbed. "I need you…" Darkness surrounded her body, like the pain that surrounded her soul, and just like her soul there was no longer a light in the darkness to come to her rescue. That her own cruel tongue was at fault for her extinguished light only served to make her pain that much greater.

Her body shook and her sobs turned into violent wailing as she turned onto her stomach, forcing her face deep into her pillow.

Her wailing mixed with fear when she felt arms reaching beneath her, gently turning her over, then fear turned to amazed shock when she felt cold lips brush over her cheek as she was pulled close. He picked her up, then carried her out into the cold night, wrapped in her sleeping bag.

"What are you doing?" Kagome was too shocked to remember to be mad.

"I'm taking you back to where you belong."

"My stuff…"

"I'll get it in the morning." InuYasha carried her back to the cavern he had claimed for her, setting her down in the alcove and sitting down next to her, holding her close to him. Kagome felt like nails were being driven into her heart, suddenly back in this place of her shame, and she began to cry once again.

"Kagome, please don't cry anymore…" InuYasha whispered into her ear, his cheek touched hers; mixing his tears with hers, "I don't think I could it."

Kagome cried harder, pushing away from him "InuYasha…I shouldn't be here. I don't…I mean I left because…"

InuYasha reached down taking her hands "I know why you left. Kagome, what I said to you was far worse."

"But …"

InuYasha pulled her against him again "Kikyo would understand. As for me, there is nothing to forgive, unless were talking about you forgiving me."

"What if I can't forgive myself?" Inuyasha loosened his grip and Kagome moved back.

"What?"

"InuYasha, I feel so sick about what I did, I don't think I can ever get past it." Kagome swiped at a new batch of tears on her cheeks, realizing as she said it that it was the truth.

InuYasha cupped her face in his hands "You just have to."

"But …." InuYasha cut her off in the most wonderful way possible, using his lips. When he pulled back Kagome's eyes were huge.

"Right now." InuYasha took advantage of her shock to finish a sentence from earlier.

"What?" Kagome looked at him, her face screwed up in a puzzled frown.

"It's what I was trying to say earlier, I don't want you to think I want to make love to you right now. I guess I picked a bad place to take a deep breath, since I didn't get a chance to finish the sentence"Kagome stared at him, her jaw nearly on her chest. Then her hands flew to cover her face.

"Baka. I am such a damn baka!" Kagome moaned into her hands. This whole thing had been her fault!

"I'm so sorry InuYasha, kami, I am so sorry." Kagome put her arms around his neck

InuYasha smiled, pulling back to kiss her cheek. He gave her his best glare and frown "Just don't fucking think about doing it again." He kissed her forehead "Get some sleep."

InuYasha rose to leave, but Kagome caught his hand. She pulled down the side of her sleeping bag, and then opened her arms to him.

InuYasha smiled, stripping down to his hakema, then he climbed in next to her settling her in his arms, anxious for whatever his dreams had for him that night.


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The next morning dawned bright and clear, The "perfect day for another rabbit hunting expedition." He didnt want to cut it too close to Christmas and still needed so damn many pelts to pull off what he wanted to do.

InuYasha crossed to the cave that he and Kagome had abandoned in the night. He shivered a little, remembering the horrible heart wrenching sound of her wailing in the darkness. He thanked kami once again for gifting the inu with superior hearing; he had been on his way to the other cave when he heard her called out his name.Miroku had been right though, in the light of day everything did look so much better. Waking up next to her was something he planned to indulge himself in a lot more, as long as it was okay with her.

He stepped into the dimness of the cave and began throwing her things into whatever he could find. Kagome had told him not to worry about being neat since she was just going to reorganize everything in "their" new room when he brought it over. He had smiled at that, liking the sound of it the minute he heard it. They had to talk later; he wanted to make it clear where he stood on other matters and be sure she knew that he did not intend to rush her into anything. For now though, Miroku was waiting for him, excited to combine his first sword lesson with InuYasha's hunting trip. He took a last turn around to be sure he had everything, noticing Kagome's flashlight and sewing kit spilled against the wall atop one of her pajama tops.

"So that's what she was throwing around in here last night." InuYasha chuckled, remembering how he flinched at the sudden sound of things flying against the wall. He reached down for her pajama top, growling when he pricked his finger on the sewing needle and thread poking through the top button.

InuYasha's mind flashed on the memory of the sound of popping buttons hitting the cave floor. But that had been in his dream...

Looking closer he noticed that not only was that the top button, it was the only button.

"Don't ever fucking touch me again; you've done enough touching for…"

Everything about her actions yesterday suddenly made perfect sense, right from the minute he realized she was pissed at him. InuYasha quickly shoved the pajama top into the bag in his other hand then stomped out of the cave, desperately trying to remember just how far things had gone in his "dream" the night before last.


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Chapter Eight Preview:

Kagome knows what happened; But Kagome doesn't know that InuYasha knows what happened. InuYasha knows what happened, and knows why Kagome didn't tell him what happened, InuYasha knows he needs to tell Kagome he knows what happened, and he would IF they could get a minute of privacy. The caves big, but its not that big and Miroku and Sango have no CLUE what happened and neither InuYasha or Kagome are about to tell them what happened. So, what's a guy got to do to get some alone time with the woman he loves?

The woman he what???


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Part One-Chapter 8

Crazy Hanyou

running on

Eggshells

Coming Soon!


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