Harry woke up on the bed. He'd decided that he wanted to stay in his friends' memories, that somehow after this mess was sorted out he'd still want to keep in touch with them, or at least still have his memories of them and know that they remembered him too. If that meant that he had to do everything Draco said and be a good little bonded, then he would play along for now. He woke up in the middle of the night feeling too warm. As he had expected, Draco was draped all over him. As much as he wanted to feel disgusted by this, deep inside he just felt safe and protected.
He was aware that it was the feelings that the bond was pushing onto him and not feelings that he would have had on his own, but in the dark of the night there was no one to judge him for just accepting it and going back to sleep.
When he woke up again, it was too sunny to be early morning. He blinked for a few seconds, surprised at himself for actually getting a good night's rest.
"Sleep well?" Asked Draco. Harry turned to see him sitting on the sofa, books around him and a heavy tome in his hand.
He stared at Draco for a moment, unsure. If he lied and Draco caught him in the lie, he risked angering him and setting the memory erase plan in motion. But his every instinct was fighting against acknowledging that he slept well next to Draco on his bed.
He lowered his head in a non-answer and started lifting the sheets off of him.
"I imagine you'll want a shower before lunch. There are clean towels in the bathroom."
Keeping his eyes on the ground, Harry dragged himself to the bathroom and shut the door behind him, leaning against the opaque glass. On this side of the door, he didn't have to pretend to be docile and agreeable. On this side, he could let himself feel the pain and loneliness of the recent events unfolding. Ron, Hermione, and him had always been a team. Now that they finally had seen enough of the situation to believe him, they weren't allowed to see or even talk to him. Draco had taken his phone and Harry felt a physical ache in its absence.
He shed his clothes and felt a small pleasure at removing the dirty garments. It had been more than three days since his last shower. He'd been brushing his teeth with an extra toothbrush that Draco had left him, but hadn't given himself the satisfaction of a shower. The mirror covering the wall in front of him threw his image back at him. He stared into his tired eyes; eyes that would be tired no matter how many hours of rest he got. He looked himself up and down with scrutiny. Why was he chosen to be a bonded? What was so different about him as opposed to all the other people who got to live their lives normally?
He looked at the scar on top of his forehead, the lightning bolt that had always been there. Was this the mark? He put his thumb over it and tried to smudge it off, as he had done many times before. Sighing, he moved into the shower.
As the water fell on him and splashed onto the ground, he heard a faint click behind him and looked over his shoulder in surprise. There stood Draco, naked, challenging Harry with his eyes.
"I want you to tell me the truth, not worry about what happened yesterday," Draco said softly. His voice echoed in the bathroom and sounded far away because of the barrier that the running water created.
When Harry continued to simply stare, Draco continued, "I know I said some things about a memory wipe, but I was angry because of the poison hemlock. I want to know what you're really feeling. I want to make this a happy bonding, not a bonding of force. I can't lie and say I found no satisfaction in you sleeping on the bed and showering when I asked you to, but it is true that I would have been more satisfied if you had chosen these of your own accord."
Harry shivered as the water was starting to get cold. Draco walked forward, stood behind him, and adjusted the temperature for him. He lifted an arm and held on to Harry's shoulder.
"I just want you to understand," he murmured. "Give this bond a chance. I know you're feeling pleasant when you give in to it, and you feel overly pained when you deny it. Is it so bad to be tied to me?"
Harry looked at Draco in disbelief. "You were blackmailing me yesterday."
"And here I am making amends today," Draco said softly. He leaned even closer and wrapped his arms around Harry, pressing their bodies together.
Harry gasped. He tried to move away. Draco strengthened his hold.
"Don't be difficult," he whispered in his ear. "I'm doing the best I can. I'm feeling guilty for the pain I've caused you, and for taking you from your life. I'm just asking that you meet me halfway."
"You said I can be honest," struggled Harry. "I'm not comfortable with being hugged like this. Please let me go."
"No," said Draco, sighing, breathing Harry in. "If I have to force you to give in to the bond and to your feelings, then I will. If blackmail is the only thing that works for now, then fine. Tell me your feelings, be honest, but do as I ask or give up your friends."
Harry shook with anger. He stood there like a statue, being hugged from behind by Draco, feeling body parts pressed against him that made him overly uncomfortable. He felt absolutely helpless. He had no control over anything. He felt small, and meanwhile his body betrayed him by sending him waves of pleasure through the bond from being so close to Draco.
They stayed that way for what felt like a very long time. Before Harry knew it, he had relaxed into Draco's hold and was leaning on him for support. The water trickled down his skin and his eyes were closed, his breathing even. He felt Draco's shift in weight as a hand reached out for the shampoo bottle. Draco moved them backwards and squeezed some shampoo in his hand. Harry couldn't move, he was still being held close. The hand with shampoo was raised onto his head and then joined by the other in a massage. Draco washed his hair slowly and then moved onto washing his body. Harry stood there uncertainly, feeling the strange tingles of Draco's fingers touching him.
He felt a strong hatred towards Draco but at the same time was enjoying these sensations. He felt mostly confused by these contradictory feelings. When a part of his body leaned into Draco's touch, another part would flinch away. He could feel Draco's smile against his neck. The bastard was enjoying messing with his feelings this way.
Draco washed Harry's arms and stomach and then let go of him to wash his back. Harry stood there without Draco's body heat, shivering. The bond rejoiced whenever they were close and he felt the involuntary disappointment now that Draco was further away. Draco placed a hand on his back and Harry's body relaxed again. Draco released a small laugh and Harry frowned and turned to face him.
"You're using the bond against me and I hate it," he announced freely, taking Draco for his word that he could still be honest without repercussions.
"I'm testing the boundaries of the bond, that's all," said Draco with a smile.
He looked at ease and his smile was so familiar and inviting that Harry couldn't stop himself from wanting to make him be as miserable as he was feeling. He opened his mouth to snarl an insult, but Draco must have seen it coming and leaned in to close his mouth with a kiss.
Harry stared wide eyed. He was torn between standing still and tearing himself away. The bond was purring at the contact. Draco moved back and Harry stood there frowning at him.
"You have no right to be kissing or touching me," he snarled, finally free.
"You're my bonded," said Draco simply. "I have every right, just as you have every right."
Before Harry could respond back, Draco took his hand and put it on his body. He slowly let the hand drop and it trailed down his chest. Harry was mesmerized by how soft it was and he unconsciously let his hand linger over the few scars that were there. When his hand finally fell back to his side he looked up to see Draco smiling contently.
"I have no desire to rule over your life and command you to do things," he said suddenly. "These commands are usually only used in the beginning when the bonded is still reluctant to give in and in any other emergency where one needs to quickly take charge. For instance, Mother hardly ever orders Father around. In fact, Father is usually the one whose saying goes."
"Then stop ordering me around," pleaded Harry.
"I can't, not until you stop fighting the bond," said Draco sadly.
He situated Harry under the shower head and started rinsing him off. They stood there quietly. After Harry was clean, he took a towel and left the bathroom while Draco started washing himself. He stood outside in his towel, looking at their messy bed. Would he ever stop fighting the bond? He doubted it. Freedom and choice were too important to him. It was hard for him to hate Draco after all the emotions he'd just gone through, but a part of him hated Draco all the more for manipulating his feelings through the bond that way.
He dried himself and slipped into the clothes that Draco had left for him. They fit better than Dudley's hand-me-downs had ever fit, but they felt wrong on him. He didn't belong to this place, to this sort of life.
They went to lunch with Harry feeling perplexed. On the one hand, he could give in to the bond and get a certain amount of freedom back as well as feel the pleasures that came with it. On the other, he could stay true to himself and fight it despite the pains and disappointments.
As Draco sat at the dining table, Lucius pulled Harry to the side, giving him a measured look.
"I told you to give him all that he can take," he said.
"And I have been," said Harry.
"Yes," said Lucius. "I was hoping that by doing so you would see that hurting him hurts you in turn. You two are bonded and his pleasure will give you pleasure and his pain will bring you pain."
Harry frowned and looked down.
"I know how hard it is to acknowledge that and give another tactic a chance instead of just blindly fighting on," Lucius continued. "But just experiment with the bond. You've tried causing Draco pain by keeping your distance and going against his wishes, and that hasn't boded well."
Harry nodded slowly, new ideas pouring in.
"I know it seems like the wicca are the ones in control," Lucius went on. "But we have our own control too. Entice him with the bond. Take back the control. You'll be surprised what the wiccan will be willing to do for love."
Harry took Draco his soup, not spitting in it and he set it down in front of him gently. He took his own soup and after that continued eating the chicken and even had some truffles for dessert. Draco and Narcissa watched with amazement while Lucius looked on with approval.
Harry couldn't help but smile. He was well rested, he was clean, he'd eaten a full meal. Maybe Lucius was right and it was time to turn his situation around. He was going to take as much advantage as he could from his current predicament. In the manor and with Draco's wealth, he could get anything that he wanted. All he had to do was give in to the bond and entice Draco.
