Spirit to Flesh: A Twific by LittleWing, betad by the beautiful, but snowed in Jessica1971
I don't own Twilight or The Love Letter. I'm just playin around and havin a ball. No infringement intended. No money made. Viva Le Fan Fiction!
Chapter 7: Twin
Edward had been true to his word. He had not written again and Bella had followed suit out of deference to the simple, hopeless truth of their circumstance. Bella clutched his last letter in her hand as she walked through the back door out into the garden. If she hadn't felt so numb, she might have noticed the chill more and ran back in for her shawl, but right now she needed something to make her feel alive. The wind on her face would have to do.
She moved purposefully to the elm tree where she had first written him, an imaginary love made real, but no less imagined. Bella sank down between the roots of the tree, unfolding the letter carefully to read it for the third time today, as she had done every day since she first received it eight days ago.
Dear Bella,
I'm sorry. I am writing this letter only to tell you that I can not write to you again. I can't express how much my heart breaks to even write these words, knowing that you'll read them, knowing that they'll hurt you.
What you have given me these past weeks has been more than I had ever hoped to find in my lifetime. I cherish our letters as I cherish you. But to continue with you as I have would make me into a man who is not worthy of all you have given, all you have awakened in me.
I am engaged to be married. I have committed myself to building a life with her. I know now that I can not honor that commitment and keep writing you. I will not continue to tempt both of us with what we know we can not have.
I hope you can forgive me for this. I hope you can understand that it is not possible for me to wish more that I was in your time or you were in mine. The truth is that I would trade anything I have to be with you, to have a real chance at what I feel, but I don't know how to find my way back to you, so I will try to move forward here - without you. I hope you will do the same. I hope you will find happiness and remember me, as I will always remember you.
Yours,
Edward
Leaning her head back against the cool bark, Bella let the tears come. She knew Mr. Newton would come tomorrow for her final answer, and she knew now that she would tell him no. Not because she had hope of finding someone else, but because she did not. Now that Bella had tasted the sweetness of love, she knew she could not abide imitation. A life with Newton, while dull before Edward, would have been torturous now.
She wept, because in all likelihood she knew, at the age of 19, that she would be alone for the rest of her life. The truth of it stuck in her throat and choked her. She hoped that Edward was successful in his pursuit of happiness. She hoped that their love had not claimed him fully, as it had her.
Again, she wrapped her arms tightly around herself, pretending they were his, trying in vain to imagine how he would feel. Bowing her head into her chest, she rocked back and forth, trying to will an image of him to emerge, something that she could hold onto, something more real than paper and ink.
A brush against her foot startled her and Bella's eyes flew open to identify the source, but there was nothing. Bella rose to her feet, pushing the letter inside her pocket with one hand while wiping her face clean with the other.
As she moved forward, she felt a wall of warmth right in front of her, like a presence – obviously not solid, but not air either. Bella stretched out her hand to see if the sun's rays were somehow the source and touched the smooth plane of a man's chest.
She froze as a jolt of electricity shot through her. She could not move her legs, but her eyes darted around feverishly trying to see what was not there. Not being prone to fantasy or superstition, Bella was unable to come up with even the beginnings of an explanation for what was happening.
For a moment, the chest and Bella did not move and her hand began to feel warm where it laid. Her fingers fanned out so that she could feel the swell of muscle underneath skin and the faint tremor of a beating heart. She could feel him breathing. The warmth she felt emanating from this being in front of her calmed her for no rational reason. Her mouth popped open and she stared in amazement as she felt a larger hand cover hers over his heart.
Bella fell back into the tree, almost losing contact with the chest in front of her, but he gripped her hand, refusing to break contact. Slowly, the hand crept up her arm, tentatively, inching his way up her forearm as if to confirm that she was real. The touch was gentle, a feather caress that made her tingle in its wake. She closed her eyes just as the hand gripped her upper arm.
Edward.
Suddenly, Bella was pinned to the tree by his entire body. She could feel how tall he was compared to her. His hands caressed her hair, her face, and her shoulders frantically, passionately. She could feel his leg between her thighs and instinctively she opened herself to him. Her right arm was still pressed between them as her left hung limp at her side. She was overwhelmed by the feeling of him all over her, pressing into her hungrily. She could swear she felt kisses on her forehead and cheeks. The mere idea of his lips on her made her whimper as the heat from his body radiated through her, making her legs weak.
"What is happening?" she sighed. "How can you be here with me?"
His body stilled but did not pull away. She felt his hand trace up her left arm to her neck, where he lingered before touching her chin and tracing her lips with what felt like his thumb. Her knees buckled, but he held her in place with his chest flush against her and his knee between her legs.
Slowly, he brought her hand to his mouth. She could feel it moving and realized that he was talking to her, trying to tell her something. His lips made the same movements over and over, waiting for Bella's mind to decipher their message. Once she did, they spoke in unison.
"I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you," they whispered to each other over and over again.
Suddenly, his body jerked back and he was gone. With his body no longer there to support her, Bella fell to the ground.
Rather than use this space for my usual review begging, I want to send out kisses, hugs, rob porn and fairy dust to every single one of you who has read, rec'd, reviewed or lurked through this story or on the Spirit to Flesh thread. It's so great to share this dream come true. I 3 you all.
