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Chapter 7: Monster
I sighed as I got up and stretched. I looked over to the other bed in my room only to remember Kendall wasn't here. He was at home. We weren't fighting per se, we just had a little disagreement. Kendall and I hardly fought. We disagreed sometimes, but we usually forgave one another quickly. I knew that Kendall was right though. I couldn't trust Logan or James. Then again, Logan did just seem really sincere. He seemed like he wanted me and Kendall to like him again.
I stopped and shook my head. No, this had to be some sick joke of his. Get our trust again so he could crush us. This was probably Dak's idea. He had to know that they were forced to hang out with us. Dak had probably told them to fake it and get our trust again then beat us. That had to be it. I had to be careful and Kendall had only been looking out for me like a good brother should.
I changed from my pj's and got ready for the day. It was Saturday and there was no school. I threw on some old jeans and a t-shirt. I wasn't going to do anything big today, maybe head over to Kendall's later and work on our music for our show. It was going to be our first gig. We were working hard on getting all our music ready and getting our CD ready.
Once I was dressed and somewhat awake, I made my way down to the kitchen. Kendall was already sitting there with my mom. I hadn't even heard his car pull in. He must've been here awhile. It wasn't unusual for him to be over here early, maybe he wanted to apologize for last night, even though he wasn't the one who needed to. I looked to the microwave and saw it was almost ten. I really slept in today. Kendall looked up at me and smiled.
"Morning Carlos," He said.
"Morning," I said to him and my mom.
"Mijo did you remember to take the dishes out of the dishwasher last night," my mom asked me. I looked at her confused. I shook my head since I didn't remember her telling me to. I sighed and walked over to the dishwasher passing the window that led out to the back yard. I saw something moving in the backyard and stopped.
My jaw dropped and I looked to my mom and Kendall. Kendall laughed and nodded his head. I ran out to the backyard and there pacing along the fence was Sydney. I almost couldn't believe it, but there she was looking for a way out. I stepped out of the house and the door slipped shut behind me. Sydney whipped around and saw me. She ran over to me and jumped up onto my stomach. I stumbled but remained standing as I petted her head with a big smile on my face.
"Hey there," I said to the dog. She barked at me. I smile and looked over my shoulder at my mom and Kendall who were standing there smiling.
"Last night your mom showed up asking me to hold onto something she got for you," Kendall said.
"I saw how bad you wanted the dog and I talked to Brooke last night. She let me take him and I wanted to surprise you this morning. I talked Jen into letting me keep her there and have Kendall being her over this morning," my mom said.
"Yep and now you have to clean out the drool in the backseat of my car," Kendall said to me. I looked at him and smiled. There had to be more to this than that. He had to have talked to my mom and talked her into not letting me know. Kendall met my eyes and I knew he had just by the way he was smiling and that mischievous twinkle there. He smiled and I grinned. It was the first time in a long time that I had a reason to grin like this.
The rest of the morning Kendall and I played with Sydney, well after I cleaned out the back seat of Kendall's car. It was totally worth it though. I know I hadn't known this dog long, but I just felt connected to her. I mean I did name her after all. We would have to go shopping for things for her later. Right now, I was just happy that she was here.
Sydney was a fun dog. She liked to play and she seemed to really like me. It was like she was meant to be my dog. I was glad that my mom was able to get her. Kendall seemed to be having fun playing with her as well. It seemed she liked us better than James and Logan. I took a little pride in that. This dog was a great judge of character.
After lunch Kendall and I headed to the pet store and bought lots of things for Sydney. We were going to train her to be an inside dog. I hoped it would work since I wanted her to be able to be inside. We bought a dog bed, a new collar, a leash, dog food, bowls for the food, and a bunch of toys. Kendall kept trying to tell me I didn't need as many of the toys as I had, but I didn't listen to him. It was my dog and I was going to spoil her if I wanted to, and I wanted to.
Once we paid for everything and had it loaded into the car. We headed back to my house. My mom was in for a surprise when she saw what we had. She had given me the money to get what I wanted, so I did.
"Dude, your mom's not gonna like this," Kendall said as he pulled out of the parking lot.
"So, she gave me the money rather than coming with us," I said. Kendall chuckled and
shook his head.
We arrived at my house and unloaded the dog things we had gotten. Just as Kendall had said my mom wasn't too happy with some of the purchases, but she came around. I could tell that she liked Sydney too and maybe she'd love her more once she got to know her.
I already loved Sydney. I didn't know what it was, but I made an instant connection with her. She was just a lovable dog and I couldn't help but love her. I was so glad that my mom listened to me and get her. I had been scared that the guys would try and give her away.
After we got everything set up and Sydney was laying down in her new bed Kendall and I decided to head to the music store at the mall. Kendall needed to get some sheet music and new strings for his guitar. Our performance at the county fair was coming up. Kendall had his guitar and I had to get our back track finalized so we didn't just have Kendall's guitar for us. I mean acoustic was great, but some of our songs were track heavy.
We arrived at the mall and headed straight to the music store. The store manager, Jimmy Fender, or Guitar Dude, knew us by name and what we wanted usually. Guitar Dude loved guitars and he was a song writer as well. He was even helping up with our upcoming concert. He was also good on the drums. He could keep a beat perfectly.
"Hey dudes," Guitar Dude greeted us as we walked in.
"Hey Dude," we both greeted him. Kendall walked straight over to him and started talking about the guitar strings he needed. I started to wander about looked at all the sheet music the store had. I was ok on the key boards, but for our concert I wasn't playing live. I wasn't that good yet. Maybe someday soon I would be.
I got bored rather quickly and Kendall was talking guitars with Guitar Dude. I then remembered I needed new headphones for my computer. My old ones were starting to go. I needed good ones so I could mix our music tracks. I told Kendall that I'd be back he just waved me off as he and Guitar Dude started comparing guitar brands.
~Logan~
I sighed as I made my way over to James' house. He has been texting me all morning and I had been blowing him off. He was probably still mad that I had showed Kendall and Carlos the dogs. I don't know why he'd be mad, but he was. He had yelled at me after Kendall and Carlos had left. I didn't really listen to what he had said then. I didn't see what the problem was.
I arrived at his house and let myself in. I was over so often, his mother and Sebastian didn't mind. Hell, I even had a key to his house. I guess like Kendall and Carlos, James and I were still pretty close. Not as close as they obviously were, but pretty close.
I made my way up to James' bedroom where he was sitting on his bed texting with his iPod on and head phones in. I grabbed his desk chair and James saw me.
"I didn't hear you come in," he said taking his headphones out.
"Who can hear when you're got music blaring in your ears," I commented dryly.
"Dude I've been texting you all day," James said changing the subject.
"I know, I got them," I nodded my head.
"You're ignoring me now?" James asked annoyed.
"You are making a big deal out of nothing," I said. I really didn't see why he was still on about this.
"Why did you have to show them?" James asked me.
"Why does it matter?" I asked, "so I showed them the dogs. It shut them up about bugging us about what we did," I said.
"You're going soft Logan," James snapped sitting up, "what if they tell the others? We'll be right back where we started, losers like them," he said.
"James they called us monsters, we're not as bad as they think we are," I reasoned.
"Let them think what they want, we don't need this getting around school," James hissed at me.
"Right, cause giving the dogs up for adoption, won't keep people from knowing, what if the kids have older siblings James," I said. James froze. He hadn't seemed to have thought about it.
"We could shut them up easily," James said after a moment. I just rolled my eyes and sat back in the chair. He was being stubborn and it was stupid.
"I don't think they will tell," I said.
"You're going soft Logan," James snapped.
"I am not going soft," I said rolling my eyes.
"You're being dumb," he said. I could tell he was starting to get pissed off. That wasn't a good thing, but right now I didn't care. He was being stupid this time, not me. Then again I was never really stupid, James usually said it to shut me up. Not this time though. He wasn't going to win this one so easily.
"I don't think they'll tell anyone," I said honestly.
"And why is that?" James asked.
"Cause they're not assholes like that," I said looking down at my hands. It was true, James and I could be real assholes sometimes. It was what was expected of us with our friends though.
Well, not so much our friends as Dak and Jett. They were the leaders of the group. Dak was number one and Jett was his right hand man. Dak and Jett did everything together. They hardly ever traveled alone in the hallway and that was for two reasons I think. One was that neither of them could handle a fight on their own. They always had to have someone else there if they started a fight. Alone I think they were weak. They were all talk no muscle unless they were together. The second reason, and maybe this was just me, but maybe either one or both of them had a crush on the other. It wouldn't surprise me if they did. I mean come on, no one spends that much time with a friend like that unless there's something else going on here. James and I aren't even like that. The only other people I knew who I knew that were like that were Kendall and Carlos, but now I knew why.
Kendall and Carlos were a special exception to that rule. They were both straight, that I knew of, but they had a reason for needing one another around. They were the only one each other trusted and they both had grown closer to one another over the years. They were brothers and I understood that now. They were there to support the other and keep the other from possibly relapsing into cutting or depression.
I looked over at James who had fallen silent. He seemed to be thinking my words over. That was a first. He usually had some snappy comeback or something harsh to say. He had always been the meaner of the two of us. That was how it always had been. James was the one who had decided that we should really join Dak. I had only told Dak that day that we would to get him to leave. I had planned on going with Dak that day and then leaving him after that and going back to Kendall and Carlos and tell them why I had said yes. I just hadn't wanted to get hit. I hadn't meant to hurt them. Then James talked me out of leaving Dak. He said it would be worse than before. I gave into him because he was right. Dak was a mean person and had several kids with him that could beat me up.
I sighed and stood up. "I'm gonna go home," I said. I knew I had only just gotten here, but James was pissing me off.
"Whatever just don't forget tomorrow that we're hanging out at the mall with Dak," James said.
The mall, that place was boring when I was with him and the others. All we did was either stand around the food court making fun of people or go to the arcade to play some games. It wasn't very fun in my opinion.
"Tomorrow we have to hang out with Kendall and Carlos and it's Sunday," I said.
"So," James said.
"They go to the hospital," I reminded him. I stood up and left not leaving him any room for argument. That was the second time I had done that too him. Maybe something was coming out of this hanging out with Kendall and Carlos. I was growing a backbone finally. It only took me seventeen years.
I made my way out to my car. James didn't come after me yelling, so that meant he was pissed at me. There was no way he was thinking over what I had said. James was almost as bad as Dak now. He saw things his way and his way only. Anyone who questioned him was stupid. I think Dak had successfully brainwashed James.
I got into my car and started driving. I ended up at the mall. I didn't have anything better to do so I headed in. Maybe I could go to the book store and see if they had any good books to read. That was one thing that hadn't changed with me, sure I didn't tell James or the others, but I still loved to read. I either had my mom buy me books cause I was lazy, or I did it when I knew everyone else was doing something else. I knew none of my friends would be at the mall today. The girls had planned a weekend at the spa out of town and Dak, Jett, and Dustin were hanging out together down town. I loved social media and Dustin's need to updated everyone with what he was doing.
I headed into the mall and straight for the book store which had a small coffee shop right to the side. I started searching for a some new books to read. I eventually found a few that seemed interesting. I paid for my books and left the store. I realized I had skipped lunch since James had been bugging me so I started for the food court in search of food.
On my way there I got distracted by a window display and didn't see the person in front of me until it was too late and I collided with them. We both fell with a shout.
"Watch where your…" I trailed off as I locked eyes with a pair of familiar green ones. "Oh sorry," I mumbled as I looked at Kendall.
"Sorry?" Kendall asked as he stood up. He helped me up, why I'm not really sure. Maybe he was stunned that I apologized and forgot just who I was for a moment.
"Yeah, sorry," I said looking at him. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going," I said.
"You're apologizing to me?" Kendall asked stunned. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head.
"Yeah, it's something you do when you hurt someone or make a mistake," I said without thinking. Kendall then laughed darkly and shook his head. I opened my mouth, but I knew he wouldn't listen to me. He hated me too much to listen. I just shook my head and started walking away.
"You're a real piece of work Mitchell," he called after me. I just kept walking away. I knew it was better to walk away than to argue with him.
I made my way to the food court and got some food. I sat down thinking about my encounter with the blonde. I didn't know why, but suddenly I had a problem with him hating me. I don't understand why it just hit me that he hated me. I've known for years that he hated me. Him and Carlos have probably hated me and James since we turned on them. It wasn't new news to me, but yet it hurt. It was almost like a fresh wound.
I sighed and hung my head. Hanging out with those two was getting to me. Maybe I was going soft. No I couldn't be going soft, I told James off didn't I? Then again James was James and not Dak. I had never told him off. I was going soft. I had apologized to Kendall without even realizing it. James would've hit me had he been here.
I finished eating and decided to just go home. It was only late afternoon but I was tired. James was annoying and what happened with Kendall just seemed to bug me. I was letting it get to me and I don't know why. It was all just so confusing. I headed out to my car and tried to just forget today.
With my news book that would be easy. Books were my escape from the real world for a bit. That was why I liked them so much. Books created an alternate universe where I could just get lost and not care about what was going on in my world. With books I could pretend I was a character in the book and just get lost in a universe someone else had created.
I arrived home. I quickly let my mother know I was home before running up to my room. I grabbed one of my news books and sat down on my bed to start reading. This book was about a zombie apocalypse and there were three survivors trying to stay alive.
I quickly got lost in the pages and lost track of time. Before I knew it was supper time and my mom was hollering at me. I sighed and marked my page. I headed down to the kitchen to eat.
Dinner was ok, it wasn't the highlight of my day. My mom was always grilling me about what I did and I usually just told her I hung out with James. She didn't know the extent of what we did with Dak and the others and I wanted to keep it that way. I didn't want her knowing what I had let myself become.
After dinner I made my way back up to my bedroom thinking over my conversation with James. I was thinking about where I said Kendall and Carlos called us monsters in particular. I had showed them the dogs so they could see that they were wrong, we weren't as bad as they thought. I wanted them to feel bad about judging us so quickly, but maybe they had been right.
Maybe I was a monster.
I mean I did hurt Kendall and Carlos. I beat them up when ever Dak wanted us to. I followed him like the mindless person I had become. I insulted them any chance I got. I had to though, otherwise Dak would turn on me or maybe even James. I lied to my mom about what I did. I never told her the real reason I stopped being friends with Kendall and Carlos. She had been a bit shocked when she gave us our punishment to hang out with Kendall and Carlos. She had asked me about with when we got home, but I didn't say anything.
Yeah, there was no maybe about it.
I was a monster.
So yeah another chapter done and posted. I'm not sure what I think of this right now, I liked it this morning and this afternoon I didn't and after some tewaks I like it again. I think this is good and it segways to the next chapter nicely which should be up by next weekend if all goes as planned. Anyways I hope you all liked this. Lemme know what you think.
Always
OUTOFMYMIND
