Today is Monday and we are finally going on a picnic in our new play-clothes.
"I love the way the word picnic sounds, just like teeth biting into an apple!" I say to Louisa, as we brush our hair.
"What are you talking about?" Louisa asks with amusement. But I am not angry at her for not understanding because I am sure Fraulein Maria will understand.
"Fraulein Maria, doesn't picnic sound just like teeth biting into an apple?" I ask as we gather by the door.
Fraulein Maria stops and closes her eyes. "Pic-nic," she says, slowly.
We wait.
"Yes, it does!" Fraulein Maria confirms with a smile. "Or maybe strawberries with sugar."
"Are we going to have strawberries with sugar?" Gretl shrieks.
"Not today," Fraulein Maria says.
"But when?" Gretl whines. "When?"
"Sometime this summer," Fraulein Maria says evasively.
Gretl's eyes widen. It's a long way until the end of the summer. But I struggle not to laugh because I know that we are going to have strawberries with sugar tomorrow. Because tomorrow is Marta's birthday.
We've discussed it all secretly when the little girls were in bed. Today, on the way back home we are going to distract her while Liesl and Friedrich go into the umbrella store and buy Marta a pink parasol. Liesl could easily do it alone but it is more proper for a young lady to have an escort. Fraulein Maria says that she didn't even know that until Frau Schmidt explained it to her. Well, I suppose she can't know everything.
We skip down the grassy path, with the sunshine on our faces and the lake sparkling beside us. Fraulein Maria is carrying her guitar. Liesl is carrying the basket and Friedrich is carrying the ball. I am swinging my empty arms as I skip. I thought of bringing a book to the picnic but I decided not to. After all, if I read, I might miss something exciting.
When we get to the store though, I am prepared to be bored.
"Will it take a very long time to buy everything?" I ask Fraulein Maria.
"Don't you like shopping?" Fraulein Maria asks.
"I like eating picnic food but I don't particularly like buying it," I confess.
"Me neither," Fraulein Maria admits. She picks up two tomatoes. For a moment she stares at them, perplexed, then, she throws both tomatoes into the air and catches them. We laugh and clap.
***************************************************
With the basket full now, Liesl goes a little more slowly so the rest of us run ahead up the green hill.
"Fraulein Maria, can we…can we roll down the hill?" Louisa asks. "Or will it spoil our clothes?"
"Fraulein Maria gives Louisa a stern look. "After how hard I've worked making your play-clothes…" she says.
Louisa's face falls.
"I'd be quite disappointed if they remained clean!" Fraulein Maria finishes.
Louisa bursts into laughter and she and I roll, roll, roll down the grassy hill.
We take out the bread and cheese and tomatoes and cut it all into little triangles to make sandwiches. After we eat the sandwiches (Kurt has six!), we have fruit and apple strudel. Then Fraulein Maria teaches us many new games with the ball and jump-rope. Finally, Louisa falls down on the grass and says, contentedly, "Can we do this every day?"
"Don't you think you'd soon get tired of it?" Fraulein Maria asks.
"I suppose so," Louisa says. "Every other day?" she adds hopefully.
"I haven't had this much fun since the day that we put glue on Fraulein Josephine's toothbrush," Kurt says.
Fraulein Maria winces.
Seeing her wince makes me wince. Does she think we are cruel?
"I can't understand how children as nice as you can play such awful tricks on people," Fraulein Maria says.
"Oh, it's easy," I say.
"But why do it?"
"Well, how else can we get father's attention?" Liesl asks.
I take a quick little breath. Is that why?
"Yes," I say. And I have to stop myself from saying it again because it suddenly becomes clear to me. I always thought we played tricks on governesses because…well… it was the only fun we ever got to have and many of the governesses were awful and deserved it. But there were also some that didn't. And then I just figured that we did it just…because. Because we had always done for it as long as I could remember. Only Liesl's explanation makes more sense than any of that and I wonder why she has never explained it to me before.
"Oh, I see," Fraulein Maria says. "Well, we'll have to think about that one." She seems to be deep in thought for a moment but then she picks up her guitar and calls out, "All right everyone, let's think of some songs to sing for the baroness."
"Father doesn't like us to sing," Marta says.
"Well, perhaps he will change his mind."
Father does not change his mind, I think.
"Now what songs do you know?"
"We don't know any songs," I say.
Fraulein Maria stares at us as if we have just told her that we don't like strudel. "Not any?"
"We don't even know how to sing," I say, although what I really mean is we don't remember how. I think we used to sing once long ago. I am almost sure that Liesl did. I know that mother did.
Fraulein Maria begins to sing. "Do, a deer,a female deer..."
Her voice is clear and strong and golden. I wonder what my voice will sound like if I try to sing. My arms are suddenly covered with goosebumps. I am almost afraid to try. But I simply must.
I wait for the right moment to start singing. And when I do, sing some small forgotten part of me wakes up and the notes and their names come effortlessly. I don't feel as if I am learning them. It's more like remembering something I've always known but couldn't express.
