A/N: The chapter starts right after Yoku had flinched away from Deidara's and Yume-chan's touches, for those who get confused easily.
Chapter 7 – Yoku's Story
Yoku's POV.
"Don't touch me!" I screamed, pulling away before either Yume-chan or Deidara could touch me.
I ran from the sitting room, trying to run from my tears themselves, having absolutely no idea where I was going.
How could Yume-chan say something like that? No matter how hard I tried, this time I could find no reason behind her rudeness. Was she trying to break Deidara and me up just because she wasn't with Itachi? Was she jealous of me? If so, I never thought her to be this kind of person. She was always the strong one, defending others and keeping her cool, no matter how difficult things got.
And how could Deidara-kun threaten to blow her up? He must have known it would upset me. I came to a stop when my crying got so bad I began fearing what might happen if someone was asleep and I woke them, surprised when I found myself in a completely unfamiliar corridor.
It was completely empty except for the windows, and a window-seat long enough for me to lay on stood at the window directly in front of me. After looking this way and that and listening intently, trying to see if there was anyone nearby, I sat down on the cushiony seat, pulling my legs up and hugging them, resting my chin on my knees as tears streamed mercilessly down my face.
I felt so weak and helpless. I wasn't even able to talk properly to someone I knew I loved. Yume-chan was so mean in saying that I didn't want to—that wasn't the case. I've tried numerous times to try and make conversation with Deidara-kun, but my voice failed me. She knew it wasn't my fault. She had heard the whole story, and she was the only one to have had the privilage, so why would she throw a trust like that in my face?
"Why?!" I cried to myself, digging my nails into the flesh of my shins to stop myself from punching the glass of the window to pieces.
"Yoku-chan?"
I looked around to see the orange-masked boy standing a few feet from me, and I felt the lump in my throat return. I hurriedly wiped tears from my cheeks.
"Why are you crying, Yoku-chan?" Tobi asked sadly, taking a few steps forward. I looked away, not even trying to get past the lump in my throat. "Did Deidara-senpai hurt you?" I whipped my head back to face him, shaking my head vigorously. Why would he think Deidara-kun would hurt me? He seemed to understand my confusion and said, "He looks really angry, Yoku-chan. I didn't want to bother him, so I came looking for you instead. Should I lead him away from here?" I shook my head. "Should I tell him where you are?" he asked. I thought for a moment and slowly nodded.
I watched as the boy turned and walked away. He was such a good guy. I wondered what he was doing with an organization like Akatsuki …
Barely ten minutes passed when Tobi arrived again, "I can't find Deidara-senpai, Yoku-chan," he said, out of breath, "I looked everywhere."
Anger flared inside me and I felt my ears and tail appear. Ingoring the lump in my throat, I angrily punched the window beside me, watching it shatter. When I pulled my arm back, I left half the flesh of my hand behind, as well. Yelling in anger and pain, I began running again.
Before I knew it, I felt the cool breeze of the outside air. Pein could kill me if he wanted; I didn't care. I wasn't going to stay prisoner in that hell-hole any longer.
Tears streaming down my face, I ran without direction, nearly falling every time I regained my balance. Before I knew it I broke free of the forest and fell down at the edge of the lake against the bark of a willow tree.
Sniffling and struggling a little to breathe, I tried to make sense of my surroundings past the blurring of my tears.
I was on the exact spot I had sat that afternoon, when Deidara-kun had first held my hand while we were watching the sunset. I clenched my burning hand and started pulling the shards of glass from my flesh. When I couldn't get any more glass out because the shards were too small, anger flared inside me once more, and I started pacing up and down on the grass.
The moonlight was so bright tonight. It was a full moon, my favourite. How ironic. I sighed and stood still, holding my hand up to moonlight, wondering whether it would work. Holding my uninjured hand in a seal for concentration, I molded chakra and focused it in my hand before releasing it all at once. I yelled in pain as the tiny shards of glass were shot into the air along with a few pieces of flesh.
Sniffling and ignoring the pain, I molded more chakra, performed the necessary seals, released a steady flow of chakra and muttered, "Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu."
The water from the lake flew towards me and impersonated me in four Clones. My Clones and I glared at each other for a moment before I yelled in anger and punched one of them, making it turn to water once more.
"SHE ALWAYS RUINS EVERYTHING!" I yelled at my Clones, continuing my pacing, "She just spreads lies everywhere and everyone just picks them up! She thinks she's doing good but she ALWAYS JUST MAKES THINGS WORSE!"
I punched another Clone and screamed in pain. How clever of me to have used my left hand to punch the window; it was the hand I relied on most. The Clone turned to water once more, and now there were only two left.
"Maybe she's just tired," one of the Clones said, "Why don't we go talk to her?"
"I DON'T CARE IF SHE'S JUST TIRED!" I yelled, "She had no right to say those things! She basically told me I was a slut, going all 'yeah, I bet she gives you loads of pleasure'!"
"Maybe she was being sarcastic-"
"I DON'T CARE!" I yelled, punching the Clone full in the face with my right hand. Now there was only one left, "Dei-kun thinks I hate him! He thinks I don't want to talk to him! I'M TRYING! No matter what I do, nothing ever goes right! I'm just as useless as a fish on the deck of a ship, which means you're also useless!"
I punched the last Clone and watched as it turned back to water. The soles of my shoes were wet, and I moved back to the willow tree, panting and staring at the spot where I had sat before and decided against sitting down.
"I'M NOT WEAK!" I screamed, punching the tree with my right hand.
Before I knew it I was kicking and punching the tree so that the bark started chipping off. My knuckles, knees and the bridges of my feet were all bleeding mercilessly by the time I started feeling dizzy, and I fell down on all-fours.
"Dammit, I lost too much blood," I panted. After a few more deep breaths darkness consumed me.
What felt like minutes later I felt someone gently shaking my shoulder, calling my name. It sounded very distant, and when I opened my eyes slightly I saw nothing but a blur of yellow, red and black.
"Yoku-san, please wake up, un …"
I tried swallowing the lump that was forming in my throat again, and balled my hands into fists, wincing with pain and shifting with discomfort when I felt that bandages were wrapped around my knuckles. I closed my eyes again. My head was spinning and my whole body ached. I shifted my legs and, as I thought, there were bandages on my knees and feet, as well. I couldn't feel my shoes. When I opened my eyes again, I saw Deidara-kun leaning over me, illuminated by the bright moonlight.
"Dei-kun …" I breathed.
"You're finally awake," he said, happiness clear in his voice, "After you passed out I fetched Kakuzu-san, and he fixed you up. It's been two hours, un."
After you passed out, he'd said. Suddenly, all the anger from earlier returned, and I felt my body starting to tremble and I clenched my fists tighter.
"Yoku-san, un?"
"Leave me alone," I said, shoving him out of my way and sitting up. I saw stars for a moment before I stood up, ignoring my dizziness, and walked over to the lake. I looked sideways at the tree, surprised when there was barely any bark left.
"Yoku-san?"
I turned around to face Deidara-kun. I couldn't identify his expression. It was somewhere between confusion, sadness, surprise and anger. I angrily tried swallowing the lump in my throat, but to no avail.
"Why would you hurt yourself like that, un?"
"W-what would y-you know?" I stuttered angrily, "Y-you're just l-like the rest o-of them. Th-the only r-reason you even t-talk to m-me is b-because I seem cute b-because I w-won't talk easily."
"Why would you think that?" he asked, seemingly surprised, "You think I'm just using you, un?"
My ears and tail appeared again, and I was sure Deidara-kun knew it wasn't from embarrassment. I finally swallowed the lump and managed to say without stuttering, "You hate me, don't you? Yume-chan always ruins every chance of happiness I might get. Why don't you all go to hell and leave me alone?"
I ran my fingers through my hair and turned back to face the lake, hoping he would just do as I told him and go away. I didn't want to talk to him; I didn't want to have it difficult any more.
"You told me that I'll hear your story. If I go to hell and leave you alone, I won't ever hear it, un."
I stared at him in exasperation and held up my bandaged hands, "Don't you see this? How could you want to even be in the presence of someone who does this?"
"I want to know the reason, un."
Before I could answer, he took the few steps seperating us and softly took my hands in his, careful not to touch my wounds. Our faces were inches apart, and I turned my head to look the other way. He pulled my arms behind his back before running his fingers through my hair and holding me to his chest in a soft embrace.
Before I could stop it a fresh wave of tears rolled down my cheeks. I buried my face in the folds of his cloak so that only my mouth was free, and clutched tightly on to the cloth on his back.
"When I was a kid, my father died," I started, glad the lump was gone, "He had partnered with a person he barely knew and started a business. After making a fortune one month, the man disappeared with all the money, and my father set out to find him. He never came back … my little brother made a friend, but we only ever met the boy's father once. When my brother went over to visit them once, he never came back. After that, after I had lost two family members to grown men I didn't know, I couldn't talk to adult men I didn't know anymore.
"I saw a therapist for more than a month, every day, trying to overcome that fear, but they could never figure me out. My mother got a new job and one of her new colleagues offered to give her a ride. I saw the woman's face, and I told my mother I didn't have a good feeling about her going off with someone she didn't even know, but she blew me off. She never came back. After that I couldn't talk to adult women any more, either.
"I went to live with my grandfather, as he was the family member who lived the nearest to me. One day, he was asleep, and the doorbell rang. It was a man and a boy my age who wanted something from my grandfather, but I didn't know what they were talking about and I had no way of telling them that. The boy tried to shoot me with a gun, but my grandfather jumped in front of me. They emptied his house of money before leaving me. After than I couldn't talk to boys anymore, either.
"I moved to my aunt and uncle's house on the other side of the country, and had to start over. Instead of having boys for friends, like I always have, I had to make do with girls because of my problem. I didn't fit in anywhere, until I met Yume-chan. She introduced me to the rest of her friends and she became my personal translator.
"All of that had happened in the time space of a year. By this time I was in sixth grade. Two years passed and a series of things ensured that I couldn't talk to boys or adults: men and women alike broke in to our house or sometimes even the houses of the friends I stayed with overnight, teachers picked on me, the boys teased me and it even became difficult to talk to girls because they started picking on me as well. I put up with Yume-chan's obnoxiousness because she helped me through most of my problems and joined me in all the fights I started. She understood me like no one else could, even if they tried.
"We had just started with high school, and by this time I had seen at least fifteen therapists, who each told me it wasn't good to hurt others, so I started hurting myself instead. When I got angry, I would slit my wrists or punch whatever was near me until the skin was gone and the bones started showing. No one wanted to come near me.
"One of the girls in my class started bullying me whenever Yume-chan wasn't near. I couldn't fight her, because she took self-defense lessons. She stole my food, punched me in ways that it didn't leave marks but it still hurt and spread untrue rumours about me. I couldn't talk to anyone anymore unless I had met them before my problem started, or if I knew them and I knew they wouldn't hurt me."
Throughout my entire speech, my tears didn't stop forming and rolling down my cheeks even though my face didn't screw up and my voice didn't tremble.
"Thank you for telling me that, un," Deidara-kun said, kissing my head, "I went to your room earlier. Itachi-san was with Naresome, and she was asleep in his arms, but her eyes were red and puffy and wet, un. Itachi-san told me that she had told him that she never meant to hurt you. She was just angry with herself, and very tired. Even Itachi-san begged me to make you forgive her, un."
I nodded into his chest.
"Yoku-san—no, Yoku-chan—I have a confession, un," he said softly. My breath caught.
"Wh-what is it?" I asked, angry when the lump in my throat returned. Honestly? I had managed to tell Deidara-kun my whole story, and now the thing returned again?
Instead of immediately answering, he pulled away. I didn't want to be seperated from him, but he just softly placed his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes so intensely I felt like melting. Just when I was about to look away he spoke.
"I apologize for being so rude when we first met, un," he said, surprising me, "And for waking you up in such an annoying manner each morning. I also apologize for not arriving earlier so I could stop you from hurting yourself like this. I would have let you hurt me instead, if it would've helped, un."
"You don't have to-"
"I want you to know that I will never let you hurt yourself again, un," he continued deliberately, "Even if I have to force you to, you're going to hurt me instead starting right now. If I ever see you hurting yourself again, I'm going to blow up pieces of my skin one my one-"
"D-Dei-kun, please don't-"
"Furthermore," he continued, "Will you be mine, un?"
I felt my muscles stiffen and my wolf ears prickle in surprise, "I—I—what?"
"Your touch sets my mind spinning, and I get lost in your eyes every single day," he said, "I have several clay statues of you in my room that I've been meaning to give to you, but I want them to be perfect, un. I don't know if you feel the same, so I have to know—will you be mine, un?"
I stared at him for a few more moments, lost in his gaze, surprised into paralysis. The lump in my throat suddenly disappeared. "Yes," I finally said, a smile tugging at my lips.
His uncertain expression broke into one of utter joy, and he cupped my cheek in his palm (his handmouth closed, luckily), and pressed his lips softly to mine. It was a long kiss, and I felt myself melting into his hold when he let go.
"I have conditions, though," I said with a smirk, and he frowned slightly, "Under no circumstances are you allowed to kiss me with those," I pointed to his hands, "And you're not allowed to blow Yume-chan or me up."
"I agree to the first, but I'm not so sure about the second one," he said, mocking thoughtfulness. I glared at him. "I can't guarantee that I won't blow Naresome up, un."
I silently glared at him until he finally smiled, indicating that he wasn't serious, before I said, "And please don't blow clay spiders up over my head anymore. I don't care if you do it to Yume-chan: it's funny to see her throwing fits like that."
He smiled warmly before kissing me once more and he shifted his arm. I heard something like a soft explosion behind me and turned my head to see a giant clay bird like the one we had ridden on earlier. I silently let him guide me to the bird, and we went back to the base.
After bidding Deidara-kun goodnight with a brief kiss, I returned to my room with a smile, freezing with surprise when I saw Yume-chan in Itachi's arms.
"Yoku-san," he said, and in a flash he was standing beside the bed.
"You didn't have to do that," I snorted.
"It would have been inappropriate and especially uncomfortable in the morning," he said.
"Why don't you at least have her wake up with a red rose on her pillow?" I said, rolling my eyes. He nodded once and disappeared with a quick-to-disperse puff of smoke.
'Finally', I thought, 'Things are working out … except for my wounds. Now I'll have to wait who-knows-how-long before I can train again.'
