From Han Solo's personal log.

**

I wish there was somethin' I could do for 'em – I mean, other than take the troops for a ride in the Falcon for a little while. Even though Leia teased me about getting' soft (and sure as blasters, I got her attention back when I told her that tonight when our kids were all asleep I'd show her a thing or two about 'soft', if ya know what I mean) there are just times when I wish it were easier. Simpler, ya know?

Damn, Leia's one of the strongest women I've ever known, but even a gal like her can only take so much, and while Luke does what he can, he's got his own worries. He's doing a damn good job of hiding it all, especially from that little wookiee-cub of a little girl of his – she hardly misses a mark, but between the sly promise of even taking the controls of the Falcon (With Chewie right behind – he's faster than a gundark) and all those boys that she pretended not to notice (and Gods help me when Jaina gets to that age – I'll have to have that whacked out brother in law of his to put me in hibernation for a good ten years) I think we had it covered.

Leia's in the back room right now, trying to convince Nails (who can be just as rock headed as she is) to lay down for a bit (Luke's playing at being 'daddy' right now – I swear he doesn't get to do it anywhere near as often as he should) but that's my Leia, always taking care of everybody else.

Out of all of 'em, she's the one who took the deaths of the 'Whacked out cult of Alderaan' – sorry, the 'refugees' on Darrus – the worse. Luke was there (but who knows what other crazy crap he saw when he went searching for the 'other' Jedi) Pem was there (but she's a kid and a Corellian Skywalker at that – part flesh, part carbonite.) Nails, when she's not puking like a drunk Stormtrooper, can only do so much for him (and another thing that's kinda sad, I know when ya get married your 'new' family becomes your whole galaxy – yeah, Chewie probably felt like that when Leia and I tied the knot, but he took it as a chance to go see his wife and kid – but Luke's been pretty much away from all of us.) At least Nails's got her family around, Leia's just got yours truly, even when I majorly frack things up on occasion.

Ya see, that night the holos found 'em, and got the full story about how they were actually one of the few surviving (well – formerly surviving) folks from that all hallowed dead world, the late great and much lamented Alderaan they were on Leia like flies on you know what. Things were O.K. while we were at the Skywalker's apartment (because Luke's got the place secured against such space slime) but it really hit the afterburners once we headed home. Thankfully, Chewie was there to give 'em the message that they weren't welcome, and Leia held it all together until after the press conference (with Luke and Chewie and me – Nails stayed home with short stuff and her mom and her lady-friend helped out with the rest of the kids, mine included.) Well my friends, that's when things got ugly.

It was the usual mixture of the curious – some of whom weren't even outta napkins when Alderaan was blown to bits – but mostly a case of those with a case of the 'lets go see if the Ice Princess melts', oozing with Hutt sympathy.

Yeah, I know.

Anyway, so we manage to get that one with all of our assets intact, and all was well until we got home (the kids were still with Healer Kampher – Gods, kids love her – like having a Nanna of their own) and I had to go and turn on the old Solo charm, and I do mean the Old Solo charm.

Yeah, I said it, and I knew that I had blown it the second the words were out of my mouth.

"What the Hell were they thinking? Alderaan's been history for nearly twenty years…"

Yeah. That.

It was the only time I saw Leia show any real emotion that night, and it was nothing but hurt. I mean, raw, unadulterated hurt. It was like… oh hell, I don't know, for once I'm lost for words.

I expected her to get angry at me, yell at me, scream at me, even hit me, but I got nothing – just that one look, before she walked away.

At first I didn't know what to do. I mean, they sure don't put out instruction manuals for when ya really (and I mean really) put your foot in it), and I didn't wanna com Luke like some newly married kid – (Hell, he's only been married to Nails for a few years, anyway) and yet…

Finally I decided to man up and at least try to talk to her, I figured I would stand a safe distance at the door in case she wanted to throw something at me, (even though I knew I deserved it,) but ya know…

She knew I was there – I guess she didn't need the Force to know that, and I was about to resign myself to Chewie's hammock when she said my name just once.

I stood there like an idiot for a minute, shuffling my feet, (hell, I didn't know what to say!) when she finally turned to look at me. Thank the stars most of the hurt was gone, but she still had an utterly haunted look in her eyes.

Han she said again, and the tone of her voice just tore my soul up, and in that moment I guess I realized that it wasn't just the idea that those crazy bastards had off'd themselves, or that Solo had put his foot hip deep in it, but twenty years or twenty minutes, nothing was ever gonna take away that pain of losing everything you ever knew and loved. I mean, I never had that kinda attachment to anyone or anything before, (except Leia and the kids – I mean, Chewie's like my bother but ya know…)

Well, seeing that she wasn't gonna kill me (or worse, tell me to get the hell out of her life for good) I went and sat next to her on our bed. Normally, with the kids gone this would be a great thing, but I tell ya, I just felt old and helpless.

Twenty years… and the hits keep coming.

A few minutes later, I felt those lithe gentle arms around me, and there she was, comforting me.

Yeah, that's my Leia, always looking out for someone else…