Always a Crybaby
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I do, I'll have Temari and Shikamaru together by now.
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Chapter 7
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Only one piece of barbecue left. A single, juicy, tender piece. Ino and I dropped our chopsticks, knowing that Chouji is crazy about having the last bite… when we found out that the piece – is missing. Chouji's eyes narrowed. Who ate the glorious barbecue? Who?! WHO ATE HIS BARBECUE?!!
Munch. Chew. Swallow.
"My goodness! Your girlfriend has the nerve to eat that last piece!" Ino hissed, sensing an upcoming doom as her boyfriend's face turned a delicate shade of purple. "Doesn't she know about 'it'?!"
I frowned at the word 'girlfriend'. Oh, Ino and her antics. Why does she have to know about 'us'? Why the heck does she have to walk on us kissing - or rather making out - yesterday? And what's with this so-called 'double-date'? I scowled. "Hey, troublesome. Why did you eat THAT barbecue? You know very well that Chouji has a craze for last bites…" I mumbled as my best friend's bloodshot eyes turned to her. She smirked.
"Fatty, I had the last bite."
I slapped my hand on my forehead. This is getting more T-R-O-U-B-L-E-S-O-M-E.
"TE.MA.RI." Uh-oh. "WHY DID YOU EAT MY BARBECUE?!!"
"Why, fatty? Can't spare a bite?" She taunted, grabbing her twin giant fans. Goodness. She's still smirking.
Chouji glared at her long and hard before lounging. She dodged easily, taking the risk of tapping my best friend's head with one of her fans before another taunt. He, after several attacks in vain, lost his temper totally and took the fight outside. The result: K.O. Is it not enough to eat the last bite? When we (Chouji, Ino, and I) confronted her after my best friend regained consciousness, she defended in a smooth voice:
"Your hogake is worried about his health and she asked me to trim some fats off him. His accumulating fats are getting unhealthy. Chouji, you're naturally chubby, but too much chubbiness is bad - you ought to know that."
We sighed in exasperation. She really has her way of doing favors.
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Ruthless, isn't she? Well, the barbecue incident isn't the only one. During one of her many visits in Konoha, she called Ino 'ugly' loudly, pulverized Sasuke's reputation into crumbles (with Sakura gnashing her teeth in the background), deprived Naruto of ramen, captured some of Shino's kikai bugs, kidnapped (dognapped, actually) Akamaru, blabbered that Hinata likes Naruto (in front of Hiashi no less), criticized Lee's lack of talent in the fields of ninjutsu and genjutsu, demolished Tenten's explosives research laboratory, and bad-mouthed the branch house face-to-face with Neji. What a brave woman she is… are you wondering how she reasoned herself out of those delicately tense situations? Let me remember what she said…
"Ino, I only called you 'ugly' to divert you from being vain."
"How long are you planning to defend that traitor, eh? Get over it and show him what you got. He ain't worth you nor ramen-boy, so instead of wasting your time bashing people who said something bad about him, I suggest that you punch his face into pieces."
"If you are going to eat ramen all your life, why didn't you just turn into a domestic animal, huh? You have canines to grind meat and chew vegetables… do you want me to pull out your teeth?"
"You seem to love your bugs more than your comrades. Have a social life, Shino-kun."
"Can't you live without your yapping dog even for a minute?!"
"How do you expect to make progress in your career and prove yourself to your father?! Get a grip."
"If you are going to be affected by a simple taunt, you should have quitted the path of shinobi long ago."
"You are endangering all your neighbors, Tenten. They cannot sleep peacefully or leave their children alone near your yard, knowing a bomb might explode any second."
"Neji… I honestly thought you already let go of your grudge. By any chance, are you a liar?"
Her reasons are not very reasonable, and I really expected one of them (at least) to start launching a full-force attack. However, most of them only smiled or grinned sheepishly, and…
…Ino actually thanked her and then turned her into a fashion consultant.
…Sakura was later spotted drinking sake with her and shouting "HELL YEAH! I AM DEFINITELY THE ONE TO WHIP UCHIHA-BASTARD'S ASS!" at the top of her lungs, the pair linking arms while staggering drunkenly about the deserted streets.
…Naruto even offered her a week's worth of free lunch while mumbling, "You can choose what I should eat."
…Shino asked her out for a date while shrugging me off, "I'm getting a social life… like she suggested."
…Kiba spent the rest of the day bonding with her. He even forgot to ask Akamaru back the next day.
…Hinata did not stutter a single word after.
…Lee embarked on a rant of youthfulness for five hours straight… he went as far as blowing hearts to her. What amazed me is that she listened without a single yawn – plus she did not dodge Lee's little hearts.
…Tenten became her best friend. She did not touch any explosives for a month.
…Neji smiled. THE Hyuuga Neji smiled at her.
Well, let me correct what I said earlier. No matter what she does, I would always be able to put up with her, or more precisely - I AM always able to put up with her. She really has her way of making people smile, despite what transpired preceding the countless memorable reasons she has. And even her most treacherous, unforgivable acts earned her friends for life.
A/N: If you like this chappie, or even dislike, please click the 'go' button... So, how is this new chappie? If you have criticisms, suggestions, comments, send me a much-awaited review... If you have an idea, or a request, I'll see if I can... put it in one of the chaps. To loverofallthingschocolate: there's a slight InoChou here:D And oh, come visit my profile once in a while... I'm posting things there. Thanks for the reviews.
