A/N: Okay, so my official plan now is to update my three stories everytime I do an update. So along with 'The Konoha' and "A True Series of Unfortunate Events', 'Kakuzu' will be updated at the same time. So, let's get started, hm?

Disclaimer- Nothing...

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In his bed, with a content smile on his face, Kakuzu was sleeping soundly, not a care in the world. The sun broke in through the blinds, stirring the boy from his sleep. He groaned but opened those emerald-green eyes and looked around. It was, once again, his plain, not in anyway fantastic, room. He punched the sheeets and screamed in frustration before jumping up and running to the parlor. Once there, he tried to open the door but failed. "Who..." He pulled. "The hell..." He pulled again. "Locked..." He finally gave up and sighed, "The door?!"

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"..And this time, I saw a real dancing-fish circus. Not like the schizophrenic, blue bastard upstairs." Kakuzu was in the back seat of a car, telling Tsunade and Jiraiya what had happened last night. Yet, the two adults were way too busy in their own world to notice.

"..And here," Tsunade handed Jiraiya a thick packet of paper to go with the five that he had already stuffed into the box that he was carrying. "Are the final pages of my gardening novel. Make sure that the editor's read the note and get the cookies that I sent them." The white-haired man looked miserable. He looked over at Tsunade and whined,

"Are you sure that you can't come with me?" Tsunade sighed and said,

"Honey, I'm sure that they'll love your presentation. Or, at least my cookies. Just get in there!" At that, she opened the car door and shoved him out. Then she turned to Kakuzu, "And I never said that he was schizophrenic, he just really needs to go out on a date!" Tsunade then drove off, leaving Jiraiya in front of the publishing-office. He began to walk towards the building but was topped by an accordian-playing, brunette young man and his tap-dancing dog who were looking for spare change.

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Tsunade then took Kakuzu to a nice and painfully bland department-store. While she was looking throught the black, black, black, white, black, black, ooh, and some gray, school-uniform section, Kakuzu decided to take a look around by himself. Sooner or later, he found something that caught his eye: It was that most wonderful of stores, Hot Topic! He smiled and sighed looking up, "Thank you..." He quickly walked in and was instantly attracted to a stitched-leather, green and black over-coat. "Hm..." He tried it on and looked at the price tag, "Aw shit..." He frowned. The brunette poked his head from behind the coat-rack and saw the cashier: A pale-skinned girl with long black hair and seemed to be stroking someting on the counter besides her. He smirked and straightened himself up, giving him his confident air and cooly strolled over. He layed the coat on the counter and before he even began, a monotone voice stated, hand stroking what looked like a black weasel at his side,

"Yeah, I don't haggle." Kakuzu frowned. Not only was the cashier not an emo-looking chick but and emo-looking (and sounding) boy, but he couldn't get his over-coat. He groaned loudly before yelling over,

"HEY, BIG-RACK!" A second passed before Tsunade replied,

"WHAT THE HELL IS IT?!"

"CAN YOU BUY ME THIS OVER-COAT?!" Tsunade looked over from where she was at what the stitched boy was talking about and frowned before replying,

"THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL THAT I'M BUYING THAT!!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes and yelled,

"WHY THE HELL NOT?!"

"IT'S GAUDY LIKE NO TOMORROW, FOR ONE!"

"BUT THE SCHOOL-COLORS FOR MY NEW HIGH SCHOOL SUCK..!" Kakuzu started, "COULD I AT LEAST ADD THIS TO IT?!" He waited.

"NO!!" Kakuzu banged a fist on the counter before stating quietly,

"My Other-Mother would buy it for me..." Just then, the boy at the counter gasped and the weasel hissed angrily. Kakuzu looked back towards the commotion that was taking place in front of him and asked, "Hey, what the hell is with you?" The boy looked at the weasel who was currently freaking out before stating, almost in a whisper,

"Stay away..." Kakuzu frowned and replied,

"I'm not even that close to you, and..." The boy interrupted as the weasel hissed again,

"..From her..." Kakuzu stayed silent. He was still angry but he waited for the boy to finish whatever he had to say. Sighing, Kakuzu looked at the black-haired boy's red and black zipper-shirt and saw a name-teg that read 'Itachi'. Finally, Itachi finished, "..And the little door." Kakuzu's eyes widened and he whispered,

"How did you..?" To which Itachi replied,

"I didn't, Yami told me.", gesturing to the small, now-shivering mammal. "She's very smart." Kakuzu yelled, frustration getting the better of him,

"AGH! How many of you animal-talking freaks are there in this town?!" Itachi gave Kakuzu a questioning-look and the brunette teen just sighed and seethed between his teeth, anger coursing through his veins. "Forget it... I'll just put the coat back..." However, something clicked in his mind from not that much earlier.

"..He just really needs to go out on a date!" Kakuzu chuckled darkly and asked,

"Hey, are you single?" Itachi frowned and turned his head, trying but failing to hide his blush with his midnight hair.

"Not that it's... any of your business, but yes. My last boyfriend dumped me when he decided that having a weasel as a best friend was 'freaky'. Why are you asking? I'm not really into stitched up brunettes." Kakuzu simply smirked and quickly wrote down the house phone-number. He handed it over and stated,

"Just call this number and ask for a guy named Kisame. I have the strangest feeling that you two would hit it off.", before leaving to go find Tsunade: A blushing weasel still at the counter staring at the number. Itachi looked at the digits once more before asking,

"Should I?" Yami purred and nodded. Meanwhile, Kakuzu had just reunited with Tsunade who had finished giving Kakuzu's measurements and school-colors to the store-employee. Kakuzu crossed his arms, leaning against a wall near the store counter. There were a few moments of tense silence before he heard an angry but controlled voice state,

"Maybe she should buy all your clothes for you." Kakuzu looked to the side but stayed silent.

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"Well then, Blonderella, what do you think is in the other apartment?" Kakuzu asked, now in the passenger-seat of the car as the two drove back home. The atmosphere still tense like a vice, but Kakuzu was tired of the silence and tried to create some conversation. Tsunade rolled her eyes and sighed,

"I don't know..!" She readjusted her hands on the steering-wheel. "But it isn't a family of imposters." Kakuzu smirked cynically, leaning onto the window, before asking,

"Then why did you lock the door?" Tsunade replied, narrowly turning to miss a trash-can,

"Oh. I found something that looked like eel-slime coming from it. And..." The elder blonde woman glanced over at Kakuzu. "I thought you'd feel safer." Kakuzu hissed in, taking a deep breath, before retorting,

"They aren't eels, Double-D's, they're dancing-fish. And the dreams aren't dangerous, they're the most fun I've had since coming here!" The car was silent again. Tsunade quietly offered,

"Your school might be fun..." The brunette scoffed,

"With that damn uniform?!", then leaned further into his seat, closing his emerald eyes. Tsunade sighed, leaning onto the steering-wheel.

"I tried..."

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When they got into the house, Tsunade looked into the refridgerator of their kitchen. Seeing as how Jiraiya was out, she would have to handle food-duty until he got back with the editor's review for both their books. Looking in, she saw an old apple, ketchup, mustard, and a couple of tortilla shells. When Kakuzu walked in, she asked, "How about an apple-ketchup-mustard-wrap for lunch?" Kakuzu looked at the blonde woman with wide eyes.

"You're shitting me, right?" Tsunade rolled her eyes and huffed,

"I have to go grocery-shopping anyway." She stood up straight and tapped the side of her head, "Jiraiya's planning something special." Kakuzu slumped himself down onto the table and groaned,

"Disgusting..." Tsuande picked up her purse again and offered, with a small smile,

"You want to come with, I'll let you pick out something special." His head shot up and he snapped back,

"Yeah, like that over-coat?!" Tsunade huffed again. Frowning, she stated,

"Look Kakuzu," She leaned back onto the wall a bit. "I know that it's been tough. Moving from home to home. Then the accident. Now not fitting in that well..." She stood up and stated, "If the book deals go well, I promise you that I'll do something special for you." Kakuzu burrowed his head into his arms, mumbling,

"You just keep on saying that..." Tsunade sighed, brushed her hair back and called,

"Won't be long.", walking out the door. When she was gone, Kakuzu slowly rose himself up and smirked,

"But I might be..." With a jump, he got away from the table and rushed over to the key-drawer and quickly fished around in it. However, he couldn't find the key with the button. He groaned and rolled his eyes. When he did, he smirked as he saw something above him. The key was on the upper-threshold of the door. Kakuzu walked back a few steps and then, with a running start, jumped up and grabbed the key. He ran to the parlor and made his way to the small door. Just before he did, all the things that everyone had said to him rushed through his mind.

"The fish are warning you to stay away from the small door!"

"You are in grave danger, yeah."

"Stay away.. from her.. and the little door."

"Hm..." Kakuzu hummed just short of opening the door. "Should I heed their psycho warnings or..." He thought about it for all of a second before shoving the key into the keyhole. He turned the knob and hoped for the best.

The door was opened and that familiar blast of cold air met his face. His eyes widened as he whispered to himself, "I doubted that this was real?!" Kakuzu quickly walked into the passage-way, leaving behind his home. Just outside, near the window, Feline watched through the window. The white cat just closed her eyes and shook her head.

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A/N: No notes, but now things will really get freaky! As if they weren't wierd enough already. But please review and tell me what you thought. Don't letthis turn out like my last published story that got a bunch a favs but no reviews.. I mean, what was that people? That was my first one-shot and I don't even know what people thought! Waah! Ahem, okay. Please read and review. Please?