"What happened?" Mark demanded.

"I went to check on her and she was throwing up and then she tried to get up and she fainted." Meredith said nervously. Mark glanced into my hospital room, I was laying there unconscious in a hospital bed. An IV slowly pumped liquid into my dehydrated body.

"What did Bailey say was wrong?" Mark asked.

"She was dehydrated." Meredith said.

"She drank her pain away didn't she?" Mark asked. Meredith nodded.

"I think so." She said. Mark slammed his fist into the counter.

"I shouldn't have left her alone. She swore she'd be okay. Dangit! Why do I have to be in love with her." He said. Meredith sighed.

"I think the worst part of this, is not the fact that George is gone, but the fact that we have to watch Callie go through this. Just think that poor kid. She can't even get through a day without getting drunk. How is she going to be able to handle Lucas and grieving at the same time?" Meredith asked. Mark sighed.

"I'm going to have to help her. I love her and this is just one of those things you gotta do. I have to be her shoulder." Mark decided. Christina walked up.

"She still hasn't woken up?" She asked. Mark shook his head.

"Why the hell did Bambi do this to her? He should have just let the girl die." Christina mumbled.

"Do I detect sympathy Yang?" Alex asked appearing next to Christina. Christina rolled her eyes.

"Alex, why don't you just go back to the baby squad with Addison." Christina said. Mark glared.

"Can you guys take your childish bantering somewhere else!" He yelled. Christina rolled her eyes and left. Alex followed yelling about how Christina shouldn't talk about Addison like that.

I woke up thinking it had been a dream. But there was Meredith and Mark talking worriedly and Christina and Alex further down the hall yelling at each other. My eyes drifted around the room. The alcohol had worn off and I felt all the pain of George being gone again. Mark came in.

"Hey Cal. Welcome back." He said quietly. I nodded.

"Mark." I said. He nodded. Meredith came in.

"I'm so glad your okay. You really scared me Callie." She said. I nodded.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted it to stop hurting, and the alcohol helped." I said. Mark sighed.

"Callie, things will get better I swear, but doing this to yourself is going to make things so much worse. It's bad for you, and it's bad for Lucas." Mark said. I sighed.

"I miss him." I said and started to cry. Mark climbed into bed with me and held me. I cried into his lab coat. Mark just laid there and held me. I didn't know how to live any longer. I went home a few days later. Lucas came home with me. It was easier when Lucas was there. He filled the emptiness that George had left. But it never lasted. A month passed and then another. Time seemed endless. I acted like I was fine. But inside I still felt empty and alone. Lucas was cute, but he looked so much like George sometimes it was hard to look at him. One night I decided it was time to clean out his stuff. I opened his closet and found myself overwhelmed. He had a small trunk that was locked. I found the key and opened it. George had a journal. I flipped it open to a random page.

February 14th

Callie told me today that she's pregnant. As I write this she is sleeping and I swear she looks so beautiful. I can just imagine how incredible it will feel when I get to hold me son or daughter. I can see us now years from now with three kids. Laughing around the Christmas tree. Wouldn't it be grand? God, just think. Growing old with the woman of my dreams. I can't wait. Can you believe it? Bambi is going to be a dad. Bambi is married to the most beautiful girl in the world. Bambi. I'd like to see Alex call me that now! Well, I should rest. Big day of surgeries tomorrow. Goodnight.

-George

I turned to another page. I was crying now.

April 23rd

Wow, Callie is so beautiful. You just can't even put words to it. I never knew how beautiful Callie could be until I saw her pregnant. I tried to make her a fruit smoothie this morning. It was a disaster. She drank it though. I know she lied when she told me it was good. You could tell by the way her nose scrunched up when she tasted it that she hated it. It was so cute. I should go. Callie got sick today at work and I think she is waking up. I hope she is feeling better. I hate it when she is sick.

-George.

I flipped to the last page.

October 22nd

I don't know why I have done it, but I have joined the Army. I plan to tell Callie tonight at a fancy diner. First I must tell Hunt. After all he inspired me to go into the Military. I wonder how this well go over with Callie. She'll probably stress. Which I don't want her to do. It's not good for our son. We got another ultrasound yesterday. He's so beautiful, I swear he looks like me. I watch Callie like a hawk now, I'm worried. She over works herself, I'm afraid she's going to go into preterm labor. That would definitely not be good. Maybe I should wait until after our son is born, but if I do that she'll be pissed. Plus I'm deploying in three months. Right after Christmas. Can you believe it! Our son will be here for Christmas! Callie's waking up so I should go. Wish me luck!

-George

I closed the journal and cried.

"Why did you have to go!" I sobbed. I felt nothing. I felt empty. I couldn't go on like this. I had to feel. I pulled out George's pocket knife and put a gash into my upper arm. Pain rippled through my arm. I gasped. Holy crap now that was feeling. I let the blood pour down my arm. It felt good. Someone knocked on the door. I hastily wrapped my arm and went to answer it. Mark smiled at me.

"Hey Cal. Oh my God, what happened?" He asked and pulled the strip of cloth off of my wound. Blood flowed freely. "Torres what the hell is this?" He asked.

"I was cleaning out George's stuff and I broke a frame." I lied.

"Cal, you should get stitches." Mark said.

"Mark it's fine. What are you doing here anyway?" I asked and held pressure to the cut.

"I came to see if you and Lucas wanted to go have a nice dinner." Mark said. I shook my head.

"No, I gotta finish cleaning out George's stuff anyway." I said. Mark nodded.

"Okay, well I'll see you at work tomorrow. Please be careful." Mark said and left. I closed the door and let go of my wound. The bleeding had slowed. I went back into the closet and hid George's journal and knife. The rest, besides his Princeton shirt I threw out on the curb. I pulled on his Princeton shirt and dressed my wound then I went into Lucas's room. Lucas was fast asleep. I lifted him out of his crib and rocked him. He remained asleep. I smiled and kissed his forehead. I knew how to feel again.