Chapter 7



Sam and Dean decided they were then too awake to just sit there and try to sleep more, so they had continued on their way. They later made it to New Jersey after the torturous, never ending, Pennsylvania Turnpike, and held up in a motel room somewhere in Union County. They had only been in New Jersey for a few hours and already there were clear signs of the apocalypse. The streets were cracked into spider-webs in the tar, as were the sidewalks. The buildings were large and old with cracked and broken windows, and the whole atmosphere smelled of smoke. No wait, this wasn't the work of Lucifer, the area was still greatly populated, people did this. Hm, go figure.

Now Sam and Dean were sitting in their motel room. Dean was on the phone with Bobby, telling him bits and pieces of his 'conversation' with Lucifer. He was planning on telling Bobby the whole story, just not with Sam in the room. Sam was sitting on his bed with his nose buried in his laptop. If he was right, then Lucifer would be passing through this way any day now, maybe even tonight. So Sam kept on the local news site, with the police scanner on next to his bed.

Sam scratched absently at his upper arm with a certain aggression. He had been itching all over recently, recently as in the last couple of hours. He knew what this meant, but he was hoping he could be stronger than it. He wasn't sure why this time would be any different from the last time when Dean had attempted to dry Sam out, maybe because this time he was willing? He scoffed at the thought; wishful thinking.

"Thanks Bobby, I'll see you later." Dean said as he ended the call and put his phone back in his pocket. Sam looked up from his screen and asked a little too quickly, "What's up?" Dean looked at his brother and noticed how red his eyes were, topped with the dark circles around them. His skin was pale, and he was a little too fidgety. Sam scratched at his arm again, and Dean didn't miss it, he looked at the spot where he scratched and saw that it was red and raw, on the verge of bleeding. Den had seen junkies before, and Sam was doing a really good impersonation of one.

"Oh uh, Bobby's on his way here. He thinks we need the backup." Dean said softly as he tore his eyes away from his brother. It pained him to see Sam like this. A sudden spike of anger ripped through Sam and he snapped, "We need a damn miracle, not backup!" He blinked in confusion. Where had that come from?

Dean took a deep breath, and looked down at Sam who was gazing back at Dean with an apologetic look. "You're a little jumpy there Sam." Dean said matter-of-factly.

Sam shrugged, "It's the apocalypse, of course I'm jumpy."

Dean scoffed, "Sure, I'm sure that's it." He said sarcastically. Sam took in a deep breath. "What do you want me to say, Dean?"

Dean shrugged, and Sam sighed, "I'm trying to handle it." He said almost brokenly. Dean's eyebrows knit together, "You need another fix?"

Sam rolled his eyes at that; he hated the way Dean made it sound like some sort of twisted drug addiction. It wasn't a drug, it was blood. Still, Sam nodded.

Was this what Lucifer meant by Sam wasn't Sam anymore? No, this was the same as last time, it was withdraw. Dean only hoped Sam could hold it together long enough to fight Lucifer.

"Are you gonna be okay? Be honest." Dean asked seriously as he put a supportive hand on his brothers' knee. Sam nodded quickly, "I'm not gonna even try to get any…I don't want it."

Dean couldn't help but feel proud of his brother; he was finally seeing the light! Dean nodded and then stood from the bed as he sighed. "Alright, I'm gonna go get some food, you sure you're gonna be okay?" Sam gave a small half smile, "Yea, I'll stay right here."

"You want anything?" Dean asked cautiously. Sam only shook his head, he couldn't even think of eating right now. He feared it would come back up.

Dean nodded in approval and grabbed his leather jacket from his bed and walked out the door, closing it behind him. He walked over to his car and got in and closed the door. Sam would be fine, as long as he was willing to change. Sam was still human, this was just normal withdraw like any ex-junkie would tell you. Dean gave himself a reassuring smile as he stuck the key in the ignition and backed out of the parking lot to get something to eat.

xXx

An hour later, Sam was pacing the room with his hands in his pockets to try to keep them from shaking. His body was covered in a layer of thick sweat; his gray t-shirt was soaked through around the collar, and his armpits. He wished Dean would hurry back, he didn't want to call to alert his brother, he didn't want it to seem like Sam needed his big brother.

Sam also hated to admit that this time wasn't like the last time. This fit had blindsided him, yesterday he was fine, albeit a little sore. Today his insides felt like they were being ripped open, and in the wounds were where great amounts of salt were poured in. It was excruciating. Pain-filled tears fell from his eyes, but he refused to scream, he refused to acknowledge how much pain he really was in.

You need it. Said a tiny voice in the back of his head. Sam shook his head defiantly, "No." He said aloud. This isn't an addiction anymore! This is a need! It's your choice, life or death? Sam swallowed the dry lump in his throat as he sat on the end of his bed. "No…I can't do it." Of course you can! This time will be no different than the last. "The last time…sure I got what I needed, but I killed an innocent girl too."

The voice in his head laughed, but you enjoyed it. When you drank my blood for the first time, it was in small drops, but now…

"Leave me alone." Sam pleaded with the voice. No can do…you're mine. Sam's head snapped up in recognition, and his eyes widened with horror. Oh, God. He hoped that this was a hallucination like the last time, if not than that would mean he's not talking to his subconscious…he's talking to…

Yes child, it's me. "Lucifer" Sam whispered aloud. The voice laughed again, you are a smart one, as I was told. That's good. "What do you want with me?" Sam demanded in a sobbed whisper as more tears fell from his eyes. I want you to willingly give yourself up. "What does that mean?" Sam asked.

You cannot be what you are right now. You need to make a decision. Come with me and live, or go with your brother and perish. "I can't deal with this right now…" Sam whispered as another spike of pain assaulted his chest. All I want to do is make your pain stop. I promise you I can do that. Sam closed his eyes forcefully. I can also make your pain increase tenfold. As the voice whispered this, the pain in Sam's chest increased, Sam grabbed at his chest as he fell to the floor trying desperately to breathe. He screamed loudly as he began to cough up small puddles of blood. Sam was on the verge of blacking out, when the pain suddenly stopped, and the voice continued, See? Now what do you say?

"I…n-need time!" Sam choked out as he spit up a little more blood on the white carpet. I am patient, I am forgiving, I am many things…but one thing I am not is merciful. If you chose humanity, you will know tortures, and pains that not even your brother can imagine. Sam's insides constricted at that. Dean had been to Hell and back, literally. Could there be worse torture than what he saw?

Suddenly, the front door swung open, and Dean emerged holding a small plastic bag in one hand and his keys in the other. He dropped his keys on the table next to the door, and then looked around the room and saw Sam on the floor gasping for breath with small puddles of blood on the floor. Dean dropped the bag on the floor, and then slammed the front door shut and rushed to Sam's side. "Sammy?" He asked with great concern. Sam looked up and him and nodded, "I'm…o-okay."

"The hell you are! What the hell happened?" Dean demanded angrily. Damn, how was Sam going to explain this?