Hey Guys! I did intend to upload this before the weekend but Alcohol consumed me and I forgot to press the upload button... Yeah I'm a total dickhead. But hey, better late than never right? Again I can't thank you enough for your love and support over my stories, It literally means the world.

-Jargot, I promise you, cross my heart and hope to die.. I will never write a HARLIVY Ship.. Harley is meant to be with Mistah J and that's how it will remain in my mind!

Love, love, love ya'll xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Enjoy...

"Pamela? Pamela Isley?" Harley asked in disbelief as she rolled down her window.

"Do I know you?" She raised a brow, looking Harley over.

Harley wiped the tears from her eyes. "Well no, not really. I worked at Arkham when you were committed." She held her hand out to shake. "My names Dr. Harleen Qu- It was Dr. Harleen Quinzel. But you can call me Harley Quinn!"

Pamela ignored her extended hand and rested her hands on her hips. "Quinn? The Joker's girl? Harley Quinn? The.. Harley Quinn?"

"Yeah..You know of me then?" Harley smiled, blushing slightly.

"Don't look so flattered Hun, you ain't known to us for your criminal finesse." She retorted.

"And who exactly is 'us?" Harley snapped, feeling offended.

"The Criminal underworld Honey... Gosh you really are pathetic aren't you?" Pam tutted, looking at Harley's teary state.

"Underworld? Well, what am I known for then?" As soon as she asked the question, she instantly regretted it.

"Your the Joker's whore, dogsbody and general punching bag. And by the looks of you, I'd assume that I hit the nail right on the head." Pamela looked her up and down with disgust written all over her face. "Look I ain't here for a chit-chat, I just want you to move your bloody car so I can get out."

"I'm not..He doesn't- Is that what you really think?"

"It's not what I think Hun, it's what I know... You ain't gunna cry on me are ya? Because I'm gunna walk away right now if you are." Pam noticed Harley's eyes beginning to dampen.

"No, no I'm not crying." She wiped her eyes. "See? No tears."

"Good. Your an ugly crier.." Pam desperately wanted to change the subject, all she wanted to do was to go home, not have to deal with a crying blonde, and not just any blonde.. The Joker's blonde. "Look you've blocked me in with your car. Move it, so I can get home to my babies." She spat.

Harley was beyond fuming right now, how dare she come over here, and belittle her.

"Ha! You have kids? You don't mean to say that someone actually slept with you?" She laughed. "I ain't moving my car until you ask nicely." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I've got all day sweetheart." Bitchy Harley was defiantly coming out to play now.

Pam stood there lost for words, she wasn't exactly expecting Harley to have such fire in her. She liked it.

"Oh Honey, I ain't got time for kids, their little shits at the best of times.. No I have more valuable life under my care. They don't call me Posion Ivy for nothing y'know."

"Posion Ivy? Is that your stage name or something?" She sneered looking at her lack of clothing. Good one Harls.

"Your just as irritating as he is... But I like you." She smiled.

"You like me huh? Well you have a funny way of showing it."

Ivy leaned through the window and leant of her elbows. "Look.. I don't like people that much, I have a hard time expressing.. Oh what's the word.. Fondness?"

"You can say that again."

"Look Honey, if you could move your car then that would be great.. Then maybe..Maybe we could go for coffee at my place. I could teach you the ropes of being a 'Class A' crim, and trust me Hun, I have this thing down." Ivy held out her hand. "Deal?" She new she'd regret this, but she couldn't deny that Harley had potential.

"I dunno.. I kinda have somewhere to be, got things to do y'know.." Harley stuttered out her excuses. But the offer was tempting, maybe spending time away for J and his band of merry men would clear her head. Maybe J would respect her more if she stood on her own two feet of a change.

"Plus J wouldn't like me running around Gotham, without asking him first." Harley reached for her phone. "Let me ask him-." But just as Harley was about to dial, Pam's hand stopped her.

"Fuck the Joker, he could never teach you the things I could. You need to find yourself Harley, without him. That's the only way you'll be successful. Besides It's only coffee, I'm not asking you to skip the country ok?"

"Urg.. Okay, but I can't stay for long, I have to get back soon."

"Fine, just one cup I swear." Pam giggled. "Soon as you move that second rate bat-mobile outta the way, we can get going. Just follow my lead."

Harley nodded and rolled up her window, watching Ivy step away from the car.

"Why do I get my self into these situations?" She asked her reflection, whilst pulling out of the parking space, thus freeing Pam's light pink Fait 500, with R05E 8UD as the registration plate.

Pam pulled along side her and gestured her to follow behind. Harley reluctantly obeyed.

Meanwhile at the hideout, Joker was on the phone to Two-Face, talking his ears off about Harley.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah your sorry, just shut it ok? I need you to tell me if you saw Harley about after our little.. How can I put it? Bargain?"

"No J, I didn't. I kinda wanted to avoid the whole situation." Harvey answered. "Ask Eddie, he's always sticking his nose where it doesn't belong."

"I ain't asking that crazed lunatic.. Talking to him is like trying to get blood out of stone. I haven't got time for his pointless fucking riddles that will probably lead to nothing..." J rested his forehead in his hand. "Did you see Hutch at all last night?"

"No why? What's he got to do wi-Oh my God! Ya don't think Harley and Hutch are having hanky-panky behind your back do ya? Cos I've seen the way he looks at her, and it's exactly the way you do."

"SHUT UP! I do not look at her in any way!" He slammed his fist on the table. "She wouldn't and He wouldn't dare! Besides she's loyal to a fault...Why the heck would she go out for a burger when she has steak at home.. She wouldn't."

He sighed. "But something's defiantly going on Harv, she hasn't been herself since last night and It's kinda grinding at me."

"Well how would you feel if the person who's supposed to love you, traded you like a fucking Camel?" Two-Face answered, not really thinking before he spoke.

There was another deep sigh over the other end of the receiver.

"Harvey?" J snapped.

"Yes J?"

"If you mention the 'L word' one more fucking time, I'll make sure you'll be called No-Face instead of Two.. Go it?"

"Alright, alright, I was just saying is all. You couldn't really blame her if she did, you were gunna force her to sleep with me for a couple of grand... You betrayed her first. But like you said, she's loyal."

"You ain't helping one bit. Why the fuck did I call you anyway? You just stir the shit and guilt trip me. Not helpful pal." Joker hung up and slammed his phone on top of his desk.

Shortly after there was a knock on his office door, Joker squared away all of his papers and contacts, and positioned himself in his chair.

"Come in." He ordered.

The door slowly opened and Hutch walked in squeezing his body through the small gap he had given himself. Once he was on the other side, he flattened out his clothes and looked directly at J.

"You wanted to see me boss." Hutch spoke cautiously.

"Yes Hutch, take a seat." J gestured the chair in front of his desk. "Make yourself comfortable."

Hutch shuffled his posture in the chair, trying to look as relaxed as possible.

"Now Hutch, I need your advice on a personal matter.. It's kinda awkward but your my top man, so I trust your judgement." Joker opened the draw to his desk and pulled out his golden revolver, and placed it carefully on the desk.

"Okay boss." Hutch swallowed hard, trying to steady his nerves.

"See.. Back in the day before I became this charming fellow you see before you, I knew a guy, who I was pretty close with. He was a simple man, simple tastes and desires. And when he turned was 18 he signed up to the military, following in the footsteps of his father. He completed his training with flying colours and eventually got shipped out abroad for intensive development. Anyhow, he had this sweetheart back home, pretty little thing, a real knockout with long blonde hair and the kinda eyes a guy could get lost in. You know the type?"

Hutch nodded, slightly confused on where this story was going, and why the hell J needed a revolver to tell it.

"Well, although they had their arguments and disagreements, they where kinda committed to each other, not officially but it went without saying. When he got shipped out, he had a huge argument with her the night before he left, she started accusing him of choosing work before her and not taking care of her good enough. Lets just say the guy understood, but he had a job to do. It was to serve his country, to mould the world to it's rightful image. Anyway, this girl stormed off that night and didn't return until the early hours of the morning, only when the guy confronted her about their row, she started acting strange, stranger than usual. She had always been a pretty crazy dame, but this kinda crazy he was not used to. Anyway to cut a long story short, in the end this guy confided in his best friend about it, only to find his friend was acting pretty strange too... It turns out his friend and his gal had somethin' going on behind his back. And him being a man of action, would not take this lying down. After all there's order to up keep in a situations like this and when he approached them both about it, they just couldn't get their stories straight, his girlfriend told him one thing and his best friend told him another.. Now Hutch, what would a guy do in a situation like that?"

Hutch's face turned as white as a sheet, he started to sweat uncontrollably. "I dunno b-boss."

"So your telling me if your gal, was fooling around with your friend, you wouldn't know what to do?" J asked reaching his hand into the desk draw again.

"No boss." He answered, not taking his eyes off J's revolver.

"Now this is the difference between you and me Hutch, I'm a man of action. And hypothetically speaking if Harley was fooling around with.. Let's say you for example, I wouldn't stop until every square inch of your body was shot up into tincy wincy little pieces, and placed in tiny little gift bags to give out to your friends and family for christmas.. Think of the hours of pure entertainment. They'd have to put your body back together like a jigsaw puzzle, in order to identify your body."

Joker could see how uncomfortable this conversation was making him. So he continued.

"And as for Harley, well I wouldn't be so kind to her, no sir. I'd lure her into a false sense of security and when the moment was right... I'd stab her in the heart with the 9 inch Ivory blade that I keep in this draw. And for every plea of mercy that she'd beg for, I'd drive the dagger even harder into her prefect creamy skin. Then after her body was so punctured and she could barley move, I'd cut out her heart and lean into her ear and tell her that I never loved her. Her heart would break in the palm of my hands, just like mine did in hers."

Joker slammed the Ivory blade down right next to the pistol.

"I'd kill you with this gun and her with this knife." He pointed at them both, then raised his head to meet Hutch. "Hypothetically speaking of course."

Hutch nearly passed out listening to the graphic detail of his and Harley's demise. The Joker defiantly knew about the kiss. Hutch thought it best to come clean and hopefully he would show mercy for his candour.

"L-look boss, it was all an accident. A moment of complete madness, she didn't do it to hurt you." He whimpered.

Hutch had inadvertently put Harley at the forefront of the Joker's wrath, using the words 'She didn't do it to hurt you.' suggested that Harley was in fact the one who initiated the kiss.

"Didn't do what?" His rage was rising like a lava inside an erupting volcano.

"K-kiss. We kissed."

Joker's face dropped form an evil smile to a demonic frown, He jumped over the desk and grabbed Hutch's throat slamming him to the ground.

"WHAT!?" He shouted.

"It was nothing boss I-I swear, it was just a brief kiss on the lips, like the kind you'd give to your mother." Hutch tried desperately to save himself and Harley form this situation. He wasn't lying, he was just bending the truth.

"Nothing? You kissed Harley, I don't class that as nothing." Joker drew his fist back and punched Hutch square in the nose, hearing a defined 'crack' when his knuckles connected with his face.

"I'm sorry." Hutch gurgled blood in his mouth.

"Bullshit." He said between punches, repeatedly smashing his face.

Joker stopped then grabbed his collar and pulled him up.

"Do you love her?" J asked, pressing his hands on his neck, restricting the air flow.

Hutch didn't say anything he just choked on his own blood, streaming down his nose seeping inbetween his lips.

"DO YOU FUCKING LOVE HER!?" J shouted shaking his body back and forth.

"Y-yes." He croaked. "I love her, but she doesn't love me. She loves you."

The Joker released his grip and slammed his body on the floor, kicking him straight in the gut. After a few harsh kicks into his ribcage, Joker stood breathing heavily.

Hutch slowly raised himself to his elbows. "I know you told me to keep a-away but I couldn't..Can't. She's unlike any girl I've ever met... She's-"

Joker kicked him back down to the floor. "So you thought you'd have a go huh?" He growled and dropped to his knees punching him in the face again.

Joker pulled out his knuckle duster from his jacket pocket and placed it on his fist, J lifted him up by the his collar and held him still. "SHE'S MY PROPERTY AND YOUR TRESSPASSING!" His right hand drew back and came hammering down at such a velocity, that Hutch's head smashed against the floor and he instantly got double vision.

"I will fucking end you, you hear me?" Joker leant down to his ear. "Fucking end you."

The Joker's snarling face was the last thing Hutch saw before he blacked out.