Seeing as I have been so far unable to acquire suitable firearms to deal with the rapidly multiplying plot bunny hordes, I have recruited some people who already have said firepower. And they were very happy to assist.

"Cry some more!"

Perhaps…too happy. But what the hell. They only asked for sandviches in payment, so I'm good.

Now then, this is actually a Bleach plot bunny. Peggy Sue fics that send Ichigo back to the Turn Back the Pendulum arc are fairly common. But frankly, I've never understood why Ichigo doesn't just do the following:


Aizen Sosuke, Vice-Captain of the 5th Division blinked when a tall, orange-haired young man appeared in front of him.

"Hello. My name is Kurosaki Ichigo. You killed my father, my sisters, my best friend, my rival, my teacher, my other teacher, my allies, and all of my assorted love interests. Prepare to die."

Then he chopped off Aizen's head, set the corpse on fire, and pissed on the ashes.


See? Simple. Sure he'll probably have the entirety of Seireitei trying to arrest him and run him through with the Sokyoku, but it's not like that's never happened before.

By the way, for those who haven't read it: Hogyoku Ex Machina. Best damn Peggy Sue fic ever.

Now then, next time I think we'll be getting a visit from -

The Scout, Soldier, Spy, Demoman, Pyro, and Engineer run past, screaming in fear. The Heavy lags behind, but is hoofing it as fast as his little legs can carry him.

Wait, what's going on?

A house-sized, green, scaly foot with claws longer than most SUVs comes down, smashing the Heavy.

Oh crap. He's early.

Blue-white flames scorch the landscape.