Hello again! It's been a week or so since I posted last, so I'm actually starting to get into a release schedule (I'm quite proud)! The reviews I have been getting so far have been AMAZINGLY helpful. Thanks so much to Hanashi o saru, mun3litknight, Skittles-Obsessed-Wolf-Girl, and especially StaticDarklighter. You guys have given me so much terrific input and compliments, which makes my motivation hit the roof. Because of these reviews, I have been alerted to so many careless plot-holes, which reminds me; IF SOMETHING DOESN'T MAKE SENSE PLEASE TELL ME! If a reader doesn't understand something, even just one reader, it's the fault author. If I write something that you have to read multiple time to understand, I absolutely want to know. The reviews that have input like that are absolute gold to me, honestly.

Also, thanks to everyone who has read, favorited, or followed this. I check my story stats compulsively, and every time a stat rises I feel incredible joy. In any case, I hope you enjoy the chapter.

~Lauren-kun


Edward strolled down the long country road, seething. Stupid Winry. How could she possible side with that stranger? The betrayal had blindsided Edward, made him say things he'd never even think otherwise. The boy groaned out-loud, sending a pebble flying with a sharp kick. Al was going to absolutely kill him once he discovered what he had said to Winry, who had given him the cold shoulder until he announced he was taking an afternoon stroll.

Still, as mad as he was at Winry, it was nothing compared to the frustration he felt towards himself. Ed couldn't believe how awful he'd been, how his single goal with those terrible words had been to hurt her. It was all so incredibly stupid; Winry just wanted to help some lost, broken, little girl… who had attacked him in a psychotic frenzy.

Ed groaned again, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. Honestly, he wanted to help the girl. In an odd sort of way, she actually resembled Edward when he had been searching for Al's body. If a few things had gone differently, if Mustang had never shown up or if Al hadn't been there to accompany him, Ed knew he could've ended up just like Joan. The only major difference between the two was that Ed had been able to see a path to his goal, a light at the end of the tunnel, while Joan was left to flounder in her desperation.

Ed halted, the horrible realization like a wall in front of him. It wasn't the lack of a path to follow or a light to guide her that attributed to Joan's break-down; it was exactly the opposite.

The path that Joan had created for herself, that she had been struggling to follow for almost three years, had ended at the Rockbell home, and the promise of Ed's help had been her guiding light. But suddenly all Joan's work had become meaningless, her light carelessly switched off by a couple of commonplace words, ripping her sister from her grasp all over again. The attack, once seeming so unprovoked, suddenly made sense, and Ed couldn't help but wonder if he would have done the same thing.

Edward clamped down on that thought, refusing to let it roam free in his mind; Al was back, so he would never have to find out.

The guilt in the pit of Ed's stomach swelled, but he steeled his resolve and continued walking. After all, he couldn't leave, at least not yet. Al was nowhere near fully recovered, still stuck in the hospital and under 24-hour-survalience. It had only been a few months since the Promised Day, and it was still fresh in everyone's mind; Winry nightmares were just starting to subside and Ed had had to fight off more than a few nosy journalists who insisted the public had "a right to know" what truly happened below Central. Sure, he and Al had talked about traveling the world to study alchemy, but that was far ahead of them, if their plan ever solidified at all.

Ed had spent the past five years of his life training, traveling, fighting, worrying. He had met amazing people, saved and ruined lives, followed leads across the country, chased down criminals (and occasionally helped them too), and had even been a vital asset to overthrowing the most important of all, he had succeeded in returning to Al the body he had been born with. After five years of constantly regretting his mistake, he had won.

So was it too much to ask for a break just this fucking once?

Edward kicked another pebble, angrier than when he left the house.


Joan sat on the living room couch, staring blindly ahead. Distantly, she knew Pinako was sitting nearby in a chair, but she didn't care; the fact seemed irrelevant. The only sounds in the house was came from the older woman as she flipped a page of her book, a thoughtful expression on her wised face. On another day, Joan would have wondered why Pinako was reading so calmly after such an intense ordeal, or she would have at least asked what the book was about, but today she didn't care.

She knew she was supposed to feel something, some sort of emotion that would lead to some sort of action… anger, maybe? Sadness? Regret? Hatred? Something, surely. But even though she knew that she was should feel, nothing within her changed; instead she remained numb, barely able to recognize what had happened.

Joan supposed Edward was probably mad; maybe he hated Joan (if he did, Joan didn't care). Her numbness had prevented her from hearing whatever had happened between Winry and Edward, but she had seen Edward leave in a huff from the living room window. Why wasn't he numb, like her? Joan didn't mind being numb. It meant she didn't have to confront her emotions, which made her feel safe. She didn't mind being numb; she felt nothing for feeling nothing. She didn't care.

Being numb helped her think more clearly than ever before. It was because she was so distantly numb that she realized the Rockbell home was just another dead end to leave behind. She didn't care that if her automail wasn't fixed. Instead, she was numb.

"I should go." Joan's words floated across the room, ominous and dead.

Pinako turned another page, frowning thoughtfully as if Joan had just remarked about the weather. "Oh?"

Joan nodded slowly, her eyes sliding over to the other woman. "Yeah, I should go."

"Where will you go?" Her tone was shockingly casual, as if Joan was just deciding where to eat dinner. "Do you have anyone who can take you in?"

Joan thought for a moment. The only person she might be able to rely on was her teacher, but he didn't know about the transmutation, and Joan wasn't sure how he would react. Joan was still forming an answer when Pinako looked up, releasing a long sigh.

"Do you know Edward's story? Why he is the way he is?" The book was still clenched in her fingers, ready to be explored.

Joan supposed knew bits and pieces, but the only thing she was sure about was that Edward had retrieved his brother's body back from the Truth. Regardless, that was far too difficult to explain, so she shook her head.

"I was afraid of that," Pinako said, marking the page and closing her book with a thump. She turned her bright eyes up to Joan's, a soft smile on her lips. "Unfortunately, it's not my place to tell you. That should be Edward's decision, it is his story after all. But you should ask him; it's quite an interesting tale."

"Yeah, I'll do that." Joan smiled back, but she was simply reflecting Pinako's emotions. She felt nothing; she didn't care to.

"I'm sure he's interested in your story, too. You're very similar, after all." Pinako eyes searched Joan's as she attempted to wade through her emptiness. Joan realized she was probably scaring the woman, but she didn't care.

There was a moment of silence before Joan replied, her answer just as hallow as the last. "Are we?"

Pinako nodded. "More than either of you realize."


It was nighttime now, and the Rockbell house was eerily quiet. Edward, who had returned shortly before sundown, had marched directly to his room, leaving the kitchen strangely void of his and Winry's evening talks. The Rockbell women were reminded harshly of the days before the Elric's return, back when they lived in fear of the phone call from the military that would refer to the Elrics in the past-tense.

Joan had fallen asleep again, her small frame shuttering with each breath. She had been unnervingly detached ever since her fight with Edward and had simply sat on the couch, a bowl of soup in her lap, until she drifted off to sleep.

Winry sat at the kitchen table, the remainder of her dinner cold. Pinako was in the living room, pulling a blanket over Joan's shoulders after she finished checking her injuries. The older woman entered the kitchen a moment later, sitting in front of her granddaughter.

"That was quite the fight you had with Edward," she said bluntly, as she lit her pipe.

Winry rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms, releasing a quiet sigh. "Yeah, I know." The girl looked up at her grandmother, her eyes belonging to someone much older. "Edward just blows things so out of proportion! He couldn't understand where I was coming from at all." Exasperated, Winry struggled to keep her volume down, worried she would wake the girl in the next room.

"The little shrimp does tend to do that." Pinako sucked in a lungful of smoke, blowing it out of the corner of her mouth, and smiled dryly. "But Edward's a smart boy. He'll come around eventually."

Winry examined Pinako's face, searching for answers. "Then you think Edward should help Joan too?"

Pinako sat her pipe down, releasing another gust of smoke. "Let me put it this way," she leaned across the table, her body thrumming with a quiet strength. "Remember when Edward first did the transmutation? The days when he was still rolling around in that wheelchair?"

Winry's face screwed in thought. "Yeah, kind of. I can remember that it happened, but I was just too little to remember anything about it." Winry expected Pinako to be surprised, but instead the older woman just nodded, smiling tightly.

"I thought so," she said, nodding once more. Her serious demeanor returned. "Ed was in a dark place during the weeks following his transmutation; he wasn't the same Ed he is now. He would just sit in that old, tattered wheelchair, lost in his own misery and regret, unable to find a way out."

Winry's features softened. "I don't remember that at all."

Pinako picked up her pipe again, taking another long draw. "He had accepted his lot, Winry." She said simply. "He hadn't been unable to see any other option. Until," she said, pausing, "Colonel Mustang showed up." Pinako squinted slightly at the younger girl. "You remember that, don't you?"

Winry nodded confidently. "Of course. I was so scared that the military had come to take Ed and Al away."

Pinako popped the pipe back between her lips, taking another steady draw. "Yes. We didn't know it at the time," she said, tapping the spent tobacco from her pipe into an ashtray. "But the man I tried to throw out of the house was the only person that could save Edward's life."

Pinako shook her head, her tone slightly annoyed. "Ah, listen to me go on." She pointed her pipe at the girl, and Winry found herself unable to look away. "My point is this, Winry; the situation in front of Ed now is the same situation that Colonel Mustang faced all those years ago. Mustang chose to help Ed because he saw something within him, some small hint that let him know Ed was strong enough to press on." She sighed, shrugging her shoulders. "I don't know if Joan has that same spark," she paused again, planting her pipe back in her mouth. "But if she does, it'll be Ed's chance pass on the favor."


I hope you enjoyed my chapter! Honestly, I wasn't to sure about this one. I feel like I overplayed a lot of the characters emotions, but I everytime I edited I couldn't seem to really fix it. As I said at the beginning of the chapter, critical/questioning reviews are always welcomed/needed/dreamed-about/prayed-for/better-than-gold so, if you have the time, please review!

Also, unrelated to reviewing, I realize this story focuses intensely on the characters psychological aspects. I feel like I kinda tricked people into thinking this was a action-centered fic with the summary. Honestly, when I started writing this story, I thought it was going to be very action-heavy. In any case, I just wanted to let you guys know that the action IS COMING, if slowly. I hope that isn't disappointing to you :)

Thanks for reading!

~Lauren-kun