I really like this chapter! Dived into different characters and felt that, Maka bonded with different people, and i'm happy how its turning out XD

I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER


Chapter 7: Walls

Another white room, Deja vu. I have a searing headache and a similar pain in my broken wrist. As I lift my head up I look to my right to see a familiar symmetrical face.

"Maka! Thank death you're okay!"

"Kid?" I look around. "What happened?" I groan

"Well, you passed out and I found you. You hit your head pretty hard when you went down, and you also landed on your bad wrist." I lift my hand to my head and feel a large bump on the side.

"Where am I?"

"The infirmary. I kind of freaked out when I saw you lying on the floor." I blink super hard to regain focus.

"… what time is it…" The fluorescent lights now blinding me and making the headache worse.

"Just 10 minutes before curfew. Marie had to leave for the day, but she told me to tell you not to worry, tomorrow is a free day for you, and not to think about your assignment. She said she'll meet with you at a time of your choosing. Although I made it very apparent to her that you should be waking up at regular time and suggested 8:00 would be perfect."

"Sooo… were meeting at 8:00? "

"It was suggested, and she agreed."

"Sooo… I don't get to choose the time?" His search for perfection usually irritates me, but right now his need for symmetry doesn't seem like his only problem.

"Great! 8:00 it is. Also, I hope you didn't mind I took the liberty in straightening out this room for you." I look around and everything is exact and opposite to the other side. "Oh, and excuse me…" He then leans forward and starts to undo my messy and loose pigtails.

"Umm… kid?..." He continues and has this look of determination. Now he's leaning on my broken wrist and I wince.

"ow!... can you stop… Kid?... KID!" I push him off and he jolts back. He sits back in his chair and stares at me, breathing heavily. He begins to count out loud backwards from 10.

"look, sorry… I'm sorry. I've been trying to control myself lately and I don't know what's wrong with me. It goes good for a while, and then its like I don't know, I get these emotions and then this feeling in me just rises and I don't know how to control it. "

"It's okay… I guess I understand what you are going through a little."

"Is that why you're in the hospital?"

"…I shouldn't be here. I wasn't supposed to end up in this place anyway." I fidget with the cotton sheets on the elevated bed.

"Well everyone has a reason for being here, maybe you need to find yours. Maybe after some time you won't go passing out everywhere. " He snickers a little.

" Oh, that reminds me, can you explain why I passed out in the first place?" He looks up at me apologetically.

"Well, the doctor had said that you had a small panic attack"

"Oh"

"What happened that made you have a panic attack?"

"nothing" I lied. I was worked up about the assignment, but I didn't think enough so that I would have passed out.

Maybe that's why Marie, had said to forget about it and not to worry. Did she know? Did she know that was the reason for stress? I put my face in my pillow and sigh loudly. When I finally look up Kids staring at me again.

"Okay, I better head to my room, curfew is in like 5 minutes and I need to get exactly 8 hours of sleep, and I need to prep myself before bed. If you'll excuse me." As he's exiting the room I use all of my energy to try and be social for once, " See ya tomorrow" And I flash a quick smile.

I'm not sure if it was genuine, but I wouldn't normally do that so it's a plus, right?

Once he leaves the room gets very dark, even though the lights are still on. Still, the quiet comforts me. I like being alone. I don't have to try so hard to fit in or make conversation. I can just stare of into nothingness and not say a word. Then I am whisked into a dreamless sleep.

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I wake up to the sound of Dr. Stein changing the trash bin in the room. There is also a medical cart in the room, similar to the one Dr. Medusa had yesterday.

"Sorry to wake you, but given you are already awake. I need you to take your medication now. And you are not going to resist because it is to help you get better. For the headache, wrist pain, and your illness."

"I don't have an illness…"

"Really Maka? Cause it seemed you just past out due to a panic attack about an assignment, and you did try to commit suicide not only 3 days ago. And you can't forget that I know you are suffering from severe depression and social anxiety. You shouldn't lie to your doctor." He chuckles a little.

"I'm not lying. The passing out was a onetime thing. I do not have social anxiety; I talk to people just fine. And I'm happy so I can't have depression."

"Really, you're happy?" His amused face is annoying me.

"Yes."

"About what?"

"None of your business." I can't make eye contact.

"I told you not to lie to me Maka… But have it your way, just take your pills please." He sighs, as if I'm the irritating one. He holds 3 pills out to me in one hand and the other with water. I contemplate for a while, but if I'm being honest my head and wrist do really hurt. So I take them one by one and he watches me very carefully. Then asks me to open my mouth and checks under my tongue as well.

"Good. So, you can get up and head back to your room whenever you feel well enough and you have a free day. Meaning you can do whatever you feel, although I know you have a meeting with Dr. Marie. I'm not sure the time thou…"

"8:00" I interrupt as I get up from the bed.

"Oh right, then you have about 30 minutes then. After if you want to head to breakfast that is totally up to you, even though we do encourage it. If not, you can head to eat at whatever time. We will have something prepared for you. And since I know eating with a lot of people may overwhelm you, it might be a better option." I look at him in an instant and I see the same man who helped me get away from my father. The one who has seen my scars and a stare in wonder.

"Thank you" I say and exit the room. Leaving Stein baffled by the sudden words that escaped my mouth.

"Your welcome"

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As I enter Dr. Marie's room I see it has gotten messier since the last time. These meetings are always awkward and honestly have no purpose.

"Hiya Maka. Please sit." I take a seat and she fixes the papers on her desk into a small clump. She then grabs her notepad and immediately begins jotting things down. Which is strange considering we haven't even started our session yet.

"So, how was your day so far?"

"…It was fine…" I squint tat her as to look for a reason she's starting off with such small chit chat.

"That's nice, did you take your pills this morning."

"Yes"

"That's nice, what made you take them today?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well yesterday you seemed to insist that you weren't going to be taking them."

"… I don't know… I guess, I thought I needed them for the pain in my head and wrist."

"Ahh. You are very intelligent Maka. You would have been at the top of your class if you weren't absent so much. So, the reason you took the pills was because you knew that it would benefit you in some way, correct?"

"Yes?"

"But, you still don't believe you need them for your illness. Correct?"

"I… I guess"

"I know you don't like me very much Maka. And I believe it's because I tell you how it is, without sugar coating the fact that you need help. See, the difference between me and most doctors is that I tell my patients my plans in order for them to get better. But for me to do that, I need to break through your wall." Again, her bluntness gives me shivers. "So let me tell you my plans, I need you to snap out of your denial so we can begin discussing your improvements. For example giving you small, non-stressful homework for you to do once a day. Or coping mechanisms to work on your anxiety. All the other kids in the hospital, though they may not seem like it, are doing things like this on a daily. "

I start to think back to what kid said last night "It goes good for a while, and then its like I don't know, I get these emotions and then this feeling in me just rises and I don't know how to control it. "

Dr. Marie stops talking for about 10 minutes and jots things down so quickly I'm wondering how legible it could be.

She looks back up and catches me watching her.

"So… for you to break through your wall Maka, I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me your diagnosis."

I gulp. How could she ask me to do that? I can't. I begin breathing faster and sweating an abundance.

"What?" I gasp

"It's okay Maka, breathe… You can choose when you feel you are ready. Although you need to do it before our lesson is up. It only has to be one time, and we can sit in silence for however long you'd like but I need you to look me in the eyes when you say it. " I catch my breath, but it is still hitched a tad bit. I look around and can barely focus. I can not do it.

"Treat it as a group session… I am Maka Albarn and my diagnosis is... blank blank blank."

"I can't"

"Yes you can, you are capable of so many things and you will not let this get in the way of your future. This can't be your anchor, it will be the push you need to propel into your aging life." Her use of metaphors, while confuses me, is oddly comforting.

I wait for about 20 more minutes when it finally slips out. I look up, and peer into her eyes which are focused on her notepad. As I inhale she glances up and puts down her pen.

"I am… Maka Albarn…" I take another intake of air and continue, "… and my diagnosis is…" Marie nods her head, edging me on.

"is… severe depression and social anxiety"

Dr. Marie smiles at me and looks relieved.

"Hi Maka"


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