Chapter 7- Cats and Unicorns

Alice is more cheerful when she wakes up. She eats the fruit salad left over from lunch, and then talks happily with Haley when the nurse brings her some cheese and crackers. Alice tells her that's she's wearing new pyjamas with cats on that Esme brought her, and talks about her favourite movies, and Haley tells her about the panda slippers she has at home and then suggests that if she's feeling better, Alice might like to go and see the playroom.

"There are some things for you to play with there, or you could pick some books or toys to bring back here and play with in your bed," she says, giving Alice an affectionate rub on her head.

Alice hastily swallows the last of her cheese, and then slides off the bed. "You come too Emmett."

I follow the two of them down the hallway. It feels good to stretch my legs a little, after spending most of the day slumped in a chair beside Alice's bed.

Haley shows Alice the things in the playroom and then has to leave to check on another patient. Alice wanders around the room looking at things, stopping by the window and looking out.

"There's a playground down there," she tells me.

I join her, looking down at the hospital playground. There are a couple of kids swinging, and a nurse helping a little kid in pyjamas down a slide. "Maybe you could go play."

"Maybe tomorrow," Alice says, and I notice again how pale she is behind her smile. "I don't want to go outside now."

There's a huge dollhouse in the corner, with a jumble of wooden furniture in the rooms and a basket of little wooden dolls beside it. Alice sits cross-legged in front of it and begins to arrange the furniture, not looking at me as she asks, "When will Mommy come?"

I wonder if the little red plastic chairs will break if I sit on them, and decide not to risk it. Instead I sit on the floor near Alice, watching her carefully setting up the miniature world. "I don't really know. She can't come today."

"Is she not feeling well? Will she come tomorrow?"

Not feeling well…my go-to excuse for everything when it comes to Momma. Drunk, high, hungover, tweaking, sick, you-two-kids-better-keep-the-hell-away-from-me-or-I'll-knock-your-head-off…"Momma's not feeling well" covers it all.

Although considering she's in jail with no access to any of her favourite mood altering substances, Momma probably isn't feeling that well right about now.

"I think Momma isn't really feeling that great," I say slowly. I've always shielded Alice as much as I can and I don't want to stress her out now, when she's been so sick, but I don't want to lie to her either. "I don't think she can come tomorrow either. Momma is…in trouble."

"Did she do something bad?"

"Sort of." I bite my knuckles. "It's just that some people think that she isn't doing a real good job of looking after you. They don't want us to live with her until she can fix some things up at home."

Alice arranges three mismatched chairs around a tiny table. "I like it at this hospital."

"You can't stay here forever. Once your head is better you'll have to go somewhere."

"Home."

I shake my head. "No, I just said that…not home. Maybe with Dr Carlisle and Esme. That's where I stayed last night."

Alice looks at me. "But Mrs Esme lives at the church."

That makes me laugh. "No she doesn't. She's just there for food on some days. She has a regular house…a nice house," I amend.

"And Dr Carlisle lives there too? Is he her boyfriend?" Alice begins filling a bathroom with furniture, adding a toilet and tub and, for some reason, a little sofa.

"He's her husband. And they have a son, Edward, who's about the same age as me," I tell her.

"Do they have a cat?" Alice wants to know.

"I didn't see one." I chew on my knuckles for a minute. "Is that okay if we stay with them for a little bit? We'll go back to Momma as soon as we can."

"What about Mark?" Alice twists a little doll in her hands and doesn't look at me. "Will he come back when Mommy does?"

"I don't know. He's in trouble too, for making and selling drugs like the ones that made you sick. He might have to go to jail."

"I hope he goes to jail and never comes back. He's meaner than Mommy." Alice slams the doll back into the basket with surprising force. "I hate him."

I wish I'd been able to keep you safe.

"Hopefully we don't have to worry about him anymore." My voice cracks, and Alice leaves the dolls to crawl over and sit beside me.

"You can draw me some animals," she offers. "Maybe a cat who is riding a unicorn?"

It's her way of trying to cheer me up, and I can't help grinning at her. "A cat riding a unicorn, huh? Okay then, lets find some paper and I'll give it a try."

"You two have been busy!"

Carlisle stops at the foot of Alice's bed and smiles at us, waving his hand at the pages of drawings scattered across the blankets.

I've drawn a menagerie following Alice's directions – a monkey in a hat…no, not like that! A tall hat with a flower…and he's in the jungle running away from the crocodile…yeah, with really big sharp teeth! – and she has coloured some. But that was earlier, and now it's after dinner and Alice has brushed her teeth with a new toothbrush from the nurse and is droopy eyed with tiredness, sucking her thumb and watching Frozen.

Carlisle pulls over an extra chair and sits down, automatically reaching for Alice's chart. "I'm off the clock," he says with a shrug, "But it looks like you're doing pretty well Alice. You're feeling a bit better?"

"Yes," Alice says around her thumb, but she smiles at him. "My head doesn't hurt so much anymore."

"Well, that's wonderful." Carlisle clips the chart back to the end of the bed. "We might take a peek at that head tomorrow. Did you have some dinner?"

Alice wrinkles her nose. "I didn't like it. But Emmett got me some chips."

"Maybe we can find you something you like for tomorrow," Carlisle says, looking up at the tv. "Ah, Frozen…and I'm just in time for Let it Go."

"I told Alice that I was staying at your house," I say. "But I'll stay here til she falls asleep."

I can tell Alice is trying to stay awake. But she's exhausted, and a warm bed and Frozen on in the background are too much for her and she can't hold out very long. Once she's asleep I bundle the papers together and leave them under the markers on the table. I like the drawing of the cat riding a unicorn – it's one of my best. "I guess you want to get home now."

"Mmm." Carlisle seems pretty relaxed just sitting beside Alice and watching Frozen. "You're right though, it will be good to get home. It's been a long day."

Both of us are pretty quiet on the ride back to the Cullens' place, but it doesn't feel all that uncomfortable. It's kind of crazy how easy it is to be around Carlisle. He's different to any other adult I've had in my life, but even though I hardly know him I instinctively feel like he's a stand up kind of guy.

Esme and Edward are in the living room with the tv on when we walk in. Edward has a laptop computer on his lap and just waves, but Esme jumps up and gives Carlisle a hug.

"Hello! Did you get yourself some dinner?" she asks.

Carlisle nods. "Yes, I went to the cafeteria. I don't know about Emmett, but I could really do with a snack though." He gives Esme a boyish grin, and she laughs and pushes him away.

"Go and have a shower and I'll find something." As he disappears she turns to me. "Snack, Emmett? Something to drink? And how's Alice doing?"

"Yes please…milk please…and she's okay."

"The milk is in the fridge, you can help yourself." Esme is digging through the freezer.

I pour a glass of milk and drink it straight down, then pour another one. Esme puts something into the oven and then goes back to the living room and, a little awkwardly, I follow and sit down.

"Hi," Edward says.

"Hey," I mutter.

As well as the computer on his lap, he has a new model cell phone on the sofa next to him with a pair of headphones that I know must retail for a couple of hundred dollars. Even his clothes, a pair of jeans and a basic t-shirt, somehow look expensive.

There's also a cat on his other side. And while I might have expected them to have a fancy pedigree cat to go with their fancy house and everything else, the cat is a scruffy little black thing with only one ear and half a tail.

"That's Catkin," Edward says diffidently, seeing where I'm looking.

"She looks like she's had a run in with a much bigger cat," I say.

Esme laughs and Edward scratches the cat's head. "A car, actually," he tells me. "She lost an ear and most of her tail and she limps…Esme is a sucker for a sob story, so here she is."

I know he's only talking about the cat, but his words are like a punch in the gut. I guess he must see something on my face, because a look of horror sweeps across his face and then he's burning as red as his hair with mortification.

"I am so sorry," he mumbles. "I really didn't mean anything…it was just about the cat and…I really put my foot in it here, didn't I?"

"Don't sweat it," I say with a shrug. It's pretty clear that his remorse is genuine and that he really didn't mean to take a jab.

And to be honest…where's the lie? Alice and I are probably just about as damaged as the cat, and Esme has taken pity on us and so here I am.

"Alice would like your cat," I say, trying to ease the tension. "Cats are her favourite animal. After unicorns."

Esme smiles. "How is she tonight?"

"Pretty good," I say, fiddling with the empty glass I'm holding. "She's still a bit…funny sometimes, but she's feeling better." I look at Edward out of the corner of my eye, wondering what he knows about me and my sister.

"I'm glad to hear that," Esme says. "Hopefully she won't have to stay in the hospital much longer."

I can smell something good from the oven, and it seems forever until I hear Carlisle in the kitchen. Esme goes to help him and they come back with four bowls of apple pie, ice cream melting temptingly over the top.

Apple pie is one of my favourites, this pie is homemade, and I haven't eaten anything so good in years. "This is amazing," I say through a mouthful. "Did you make this? It's just like my Grandma's pies."

Esme looks pleased. "Well, that's a compliment I think! Grandmas are always the best cooks. Is your grandmother around now?"

"Oh, no. She died a long time ago, but I remember her cooking."

I loved my grandma. Momma and I had lived with her off and on since I was a baby. Momma was always a bit of a flake, and Grandma had really done most of the hard work of raising me when I was a kid. She'd died right before Momma married Alice's dad…Grandma would never have let my life turn into this disaster.

"Mara will be over in the morning Emmett, so we should be able to make some plans then," Carlisle says. "The neuro is also scheduled to take another look at Alice tomorrow morning, and with any luck we'll get a clearer picture of where things stand there too."

I don't realise I'm biting my knuckles until it hurts, and I yank my fist away from my mouth. "Alice kept asking about Momma."

"What did you tell her?" Carlisle asks.

"I told her that Momma is kind of in trouble, and that we can't go home for a bit."

He nods in approval. "That sounds good for now, since everything is a bit up in the air. "

"Was she upset?" Esme asks. "Does she understand what's happening?"

I shrug. "She's okay." I don't want to talk about Alice's relationship with Momma, and I really don't want to talk about Mark.

"I told her I told her I stayed here last night," I say after a moment. "She thought you lived at the church, since that's where she knows you."

Esme laughs heartily. "She's not the only little one who comes to the food pantry and thinks that since I'm always there I must live there!"

Edward is being very quiet over on the sofa beside Carlisle, but I am acutely aware that he's there and listening to all this talk. Social workers, food pantries, my Momma…everything is coming out in this situation, and even though it has to, I've spent so many years smoothing things over and hiding the worst of our lives that it feels wrong to have so many people knowing. More than that, in the face of Edward's perfect life here with his perfect house and perfect parents, I feel ashamed of it.

I know that it's not ideal, the way our lives are…but is all this upheaval really going to make anything better?

For the rest of the night I sit quietly, and by the time I'm heading off to bed my knuckles are red and raw from being worried at by my teeth.

Esme follows me to the bedroom. "I bought you some pyjamas and some new underwear," she tells me, pointing to a shopping bag on the bed. "I checked the sizes when I was washing your clothes last night, I hope you don't mind."

I kick at the carpet. "That's really nice of you, but…" I don't know how to tell her that it's uncomfortable. She's taken me in, and she's bought Alice new pyjamas, and now new clothes for me. It's too much.

"Please don't worry about it," Esme says. "It was a small thing for me to do to help you feel more comfortable here." She pats me on the arm. "I know this must be so difficult for you Emmett, and I just want to help. Sleep well, and I'll see you in the morning." She's almost out the door when she turns back to me. "Oh, and don't be shy…if you get hungry during the night, just help yourself to anything in the kitchen."

I don't know what to say. I know she's referring obliquely to the food I hid under my pillow last night- food that is still in my pockets and that I have every intention of keeping close by, but that I can't talk about with her. She'll never understand. But Esme just smiles, and pulls the door almost closed behind her as she leaves.

I sit down on the bed with a thud. The shopping bag tips towards me and I see what she's bought me- a t-shirt, some pyjamas, some socks and underwear. Everything is new, everything is the right size…even the underwear is the same style as what I'm already wearing.

The little cat appears in the crack of the doorway, sniffing warily before she trots across the carpet and leaps onto the bed beside me. I rub her furry head, wishing Alice was here and feeling a long way from home.