Legalities: Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure.
Idea: This little fiction has a storyline, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. This is purely a selfish little piece that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...
Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that.
Synopsis: Sequel to Gone Missing, Dean is trying desperately to get past the physical and the mental trauma…but how will he deal when there is a significant hunt that he feels he must be a part of. And how will he hide the increasingly debilitating headaches that are a result of his torture from the prying eyes of his little brothe?
Warnings: This story will contain everything from intense angst, graphic depictions of past torture and dreams, to current pain. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' first as it will set the scene for this story. It is the second in what will be a 3 story arc, returning Dean to all his glory for the Pilot of the series.
Please Review: I thought I would give the sequel a go. Let me know if you want it continued. Thank you for the amazing response.. Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in, I appreciate the reviews.
Chapter 7
Dean's first Cross Road
Sam watched with something akin to panic as the doctors and nurses worked frantically to stop the rapidly progressing seizure. They were pumping a bunch of different drugs into his brothers IV and Sam felt his panic raising the longer Dean's body bunched, coiled, and hen barely released on the small hospital bed. Sam's head was resting against his arms as they lay folded across his knees, which were currently pulled up against his chest, in an effort to make himself smaller. The tears were leaking steadily from his closed eyes and dropping onto his jeans, only to be absorbed by the thin material.
"Sam?" A deep voice interrupted his thoughts as the doctor waited to see where the boys head was. He appeared to be all over the place and none of those places was here in this hospital room with his older brother. The doctor finally laid a hand gently in Sam's shoulder and then pulled back when the youth shrank away from the contact. "Sam…what happened…?"
Sam finally managed to pull his tortured gaze up and reluctantly met the doctor's concerned brown eyes. It was such a different look from the ones that he and Dean generally got whenever they were in a hospital. Dr. Thompson looked not only genuinely concerned for Dean's health but also for Sam's…and the youngest Winchester just wasn't used to relying on anyone that wasn't…well either Dean or his father. Even the faith that he had in Pastor Jim and Bobby was limited to the fact that he would go to them once he'd exhausted used of his family. But as his eyes flickered over to the bed, where they had finally managed to stop the seizure, he knew that they weren't going to be waiting on the surgery and that ultimately, he'd be placing his brother's life in this man's hands.
"He started to seize…I don't know what set it off…I'm sorry." Sam's gaze dropped back to his hands and his brown hair fell forward obscuring his face. It was a practiced move and one that Sam employed a lot with his father. It was frustrating to have to deal with this situation without the man being present…normally Sam would have leaned on Dean…but obviously that wasn't a possibility.
"Sam…" The doctor squatted down and waived off one of the nurses that was trying to get his attention. "What happened to Dean's back…?" He furrowed his eyebrows as he watched for a reaction from the kid. He was surprised when Sam's surprised eyes shot up to meet his questioning gaze.
"What do you mean?" Sam asked quietly. He was careful to school his expression into one of complete shock and bewilderment. He gulped, internally, and thanked his lucky stars that he'd at least mastered this little trick of Dean's. His brother could look someone in the eyes and bald-faced lie to them and make them absolutely certain that he'd told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…so help me God…
"His wounds…they're gone Sam. I can't explain that…there are scars…but these appear to be months old, like the ones from his encounter in Alabama." The doctor tilted his head and thinned his lips. He sighed when he saw no recognition flood the boy's eyes and then ran his fingers through his greying hair. He was going to have to table that discussion for the moment; he had bigger things to worry about where Dean was concerned. "Okay…well. Here's the deal Sam…I need to take Dean for a CT scan so that I can determine if that seizure is a precursor to something worse."
Now Sam's blurry blue-green eyes focused entirely on the doctor and widened as fear lanced through his chest. "What do you mean…something worse?" He bit at his lower lip and slowly dropped his knees so that he was sitting Indian style on the floor, his legs folded in front of him. Not exactly relaxed, but not as closed off as he'd been a moment before.
"Well, because you said he hit his head again…and I can see just by the swelling that it was hard enough to cause at least a moderate concussion, there is a possibility of a bleed forming in the brain. If that has happened where the tissue was already damaged and the tumor is sitting…we may need to prep Dean for immediate surgery." He didn't want to scare the kid, he really didn't…but looking at how close these two brothers were, he didn't feel that it would be fair to keep Sam in dark about the severity of Dean's current situation.
Sam's mouth dropped open and then snapped shut as he found that he had no words to express his chasm sized guilt. He'd allowed his brother to talk him into going on that stupid hunt…and then that monster had thrown his brother around, burned him, and then healed him…at least partly…what the hell was I thinking? Sam thought angrily. And the worst thing was that he had no one to be angry at but himself…he'd done this…he'd allowed this…when was he going to learn to say 'no' to his brother and his empty threats. Although, thinking back, Dean's threat to go on this hunt alone probably hadn't been that empty. His older brother wasn't exactly thinking clearly right now, after all…he'd just been told that he could be dead in as little as two weeks.
So Sam probably shouldn't have surprised by the insistent need on his brother's part to find a hunt. It was probably the only way to get his mind off the upcoming surgery and the possibility that he'd be leaving Sam on his own. That thought had Sam dropping his head into his hands again as the guilt flowed fresh from yet another source. This was quickly becoming the worst damn year of Sam's young life.
"My…father…he's on his way. He wanted to make sure that nothing happened with Dean until he could get here." Sam looked up and saw the sympathetic look on the doctor's face…He was really starting to hate the sympathetic look doctors give to the families of terminally ill patients…or my case…the maybe terminally ill…He could feel his anger starting to bubble just below the surface of his guilt.
Dr. Thompson shook his head and sighed as he pulled himself to his feet and reached out to help Sam up as well. Sam stared at the man's hand like it was a snake for a moment, before getting himself up…with the help of the good doctor. "Sam, I'm afraid that if my suspicions are correct, then Dean may not have that long." He watched with a heavy heart as the news landed about how well it could have. The boy's face drained of what little color he had left and his eye's widened as though the doctor had just slapped him. "I'm truly sorry Sam." He finished and then turned as the nurse popped his head back into the room and asked if they were ready to go to radiology.
"Yeah, just give me one more minute Jack." The doctor turned back to Sam. "I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that your brother makes it Sam." And with that he turned and walked out, leaving Sam standing inside a now empty room…the nurse having wheeled his brother out a moment earlier.
Sam felt his knees buckle and he sank back into a kneeling position, his head bowed, like he was praying, and his shoulder shaking with the weight of what he now knew. He might not have an older brother as of this time tomorrow…and he wasn't sure that he would survive that.
XXXX
Dean found himself standing at a huge cross road. The slight breeze rustling his leather jacket as he looked in each direction with growing interest, on one side he saw an easy path. It was paved in sandstone colored pavement and there were huge green trees and small animals…and frankly it looked like a Disney vacation. And then…his gaze shifted to the other road…it was about as opposite as a road could be…it was covered in deadfall, lightning flashing in the distance, wind was whipping through long-ago dead trees…and worst of all…there was no identifiable pathway. A cliff dropped off on one side of what looked more like a game trail than a path that was meant for a human.
Dean's hand came up and ran down his face as he looked at the two paths laid out before him…there was a bench at the apex of the roads…he walked over and slowly sank onto the wooden seat.
"Ya know…each path will ultimately take you to the same place Dean Winchester." A soft melodic voice, that Dean would have recognized anywhere, said from just to his left. His green eyes snapped up and landed on a tall blonde woman, her soft blue eyes and wide smile something that Dean hadn't thought that he'd ever see again.
"Mom…" He breathed before he was lunging at the grinning woman and wrapping her in a hug. Dean breathed in the scent of his mother's hair and felt his chest threaten to choke off his air supply.
Her arms came to rest around her eldest son. Mary couldn't have been prouder of the man her son had become if she'd had a hand in designing it from the very start. Dean was everything that she'd hoped he would be, he was fiercely protective of his family…almost to a detriment to himself…and he was a strong protector of her youngest son…Sammy. "Dean…" She said in low voice as she leaned away and stared into the eyes that reminded her so much of John that she felt a tear slip down her own cheek. "You've grown so much."
Dean snorted. "Well, last time you saw me I was four, mom…that tends to happen." He was grinning like an idiot…he knew that…but he couldn't help it. He'd missed his mother so much in the intervening years that just seeing her was making him feel all of four years old again.
Her grin widened further as she heard the sarcastic influence of her husband in her oldest son's choice of words. "You sound like your father." She said easily.
"That happens too. Mom, where are we? Is this a dream?" He glanced again at the two roads before pulling his gaze back to his mother's face. She had lost some of her smile and glow at the question as she too glanced at the different paths.
"Dean…you have to make a choice." Her eyes were sincere as she looked at her son. Mary's heart was breaking inside, she wanted nothing more than to take her son with her…to keep him safe from the troubles and the pain that awaited him.
Dean narrowed his eyes and then stepped back slightly. More to give himself perspective than to move away from his mom. As he watched the pain slip across her visage and then the slightly hesitant smiled that she forced onto her lips…he knew where he was…it was 'The CrossRoads' . The ones between life and death…and for whatever reason Dean was being given a choice. His eyes were pulled back up as a crack of thunder resounded from the darken trail on his right. "A choice, huh?" He said with anger. How could they ask him to make a 'choice' between staying with his mother and going to back to…Sammy.
That one word had Dean's whole face filling with terror and panic and even the guilt of getting to see their mother was playing into it now.
She nodded. " I think you know where you are, Dean." She moved and sank down onto the bench next to her son. "Dean…you are being given a choice. If you choose to come with me…it's over…no more pain…no more hunting…you'll be safe and happy."
Dean felt his eyes burn at the description…it sounded wonderful…but what about Sammy? He licked his lips and turned so he was facing his mother more fully. "What happens to Sam?" He watched a myriad of emotions play across her beautiful face…the strongest one being sadness. "Mom…what happens to Sammy…if I stay…is he gonna be okay?"
She inhaled slowly and then shook her head 'no'. "No, Dean…Sam will have a…difficult life…and I'm not sure if he will make the right decisions without you there to guide him." Mary hated to doubt the warm and noble heart that she was certain beat within the chest of her youngest boy…but she had seen the two futures…the ones that existed down each of these roads. And as much as she wanted Dean to stay with her…she was secretly hoping that he chose to remain with his little brother. Because the damage that was down the 'Disney' road was far more destructive than anything down the dilapidated looking trail to the right. In fact it was positively Apocalyptic…
"What does that mean?" Dean asked quietly.
"I can't go into details, sweety. Just know that 'you' are the glue to keeps your brother from flying apart at the seams…he just doesn't know that yet." She smiled sadly as she saw the decision etching its way slowly across her son's handsome features...he really had grown into quite the lady killer.
"How long do I have? Before I have to go?"
"A little longer. But not much, Dean. The choice, once made, must be acted upon…it's just the way this cross roads thing works." She pulled him into a hug and stared into his face…memorizing it as it was now…and not as she remembered him as a four year old. "You've become an amazing man Dean…I couldn't be prouder of you. Continue to take care of Sammy…and watch out for John too?" She said as he felt tears burn behind his eyes and he took a shaky breath. He would always watch out for his family, it was encoded in his DNA at this point.
"I love you, mom….I miss you…so much…and Sammy…he's amazing. You would be so proud." She grinned at him, her own bright blue eyes glistening with unshed tears.
"I know and I am, Dean." She looked up sadly as another roll of thunder cracked through the air. "It's time." Dean pulled his eyebrow's together as his heart broke at the thought that he'd be leaving his mother.
"Will I remember? Any of this…will I remember?" He wanted to…oh God did he want to. But she shook her head and he felt like a chunk of his heart had cleaved off and was sitting on the bench between them. He'd though that losing her when he'd been young had been tough…it was a million times worse as an adult…when he understood what that loss meant.
"No…sweetheart…you won't remember. But I will…and you'll know you have a purpose…and that its Sam….just not why the compulsion is so strong…but you'll be okay." She pulled him against her chest one more time and then with a crack of rolling thunder she was gone and Dean was sitting on a bench in front of only one road…the dark and dangerous looking one. The lightning cracked ominously as he pulled himself up and started carefully picking his way down the nearly impossible to see trail.
"Love you mom…" He said to the winds as they picked up, his words ripped away on a current of air and he continued to trudge deeper and deeper into the creeping darkness,
TBC…
Author's Note: Hope you guys liked this, I always wondered why Dean was so hell-bent on saving Sam…this is my explanation of that drive…outside of family loyalty. Thanks to everyone that reviewed and took the time to read the newest chapter, I hope this meets with your approval.
Please Review: They are inspiring every chapter guys…please keep it up…and thank you for the inspiration.
