Paige and Emily were at odds about how to spend their last free month before the intense planning for their wedding started up.
"We should do some volunteer work," Emily asserted. "Isn't that what the gap year is all about?"
"Maybe in Europe," Paige responded, only slightly tempering the sarcasm in her voice. "Here, in America, it's a celebration of freedom."
Emily laughed and played along. "So what did you have in mind?"
"Road trip! We could hit the Rock and Roll Museum in Cleveland, drive down to Lexington – it's the horse capital of the world, you know – then on to Knoxville to see the Sunsphere…"
"The what?"
Paige pulled up a picture of the Sunsphere from the 1982 World's Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee, and showed Emily.
"Right. Had you even heard of that before today?"
"Well…"
"You know," Emily said with a weary shake of her head, "We're not going to be able to cross off all 50 states before the wedding."
"I know! I've just always really wanted to visit Ohio, Kentucky, Tennessee, North Carolina…"
Emily sighed. "Sometimes, Paige, I wonder why I even brought up that whole thing in the first place!"
"Because you had no idea how OCD I was?"
Emily just kept shaking her head, with a smile of resignation. "Let me see that map." She counted 12 Xs, not including the one for Mexico. "That's respectable – we've hit almost 25% of the states." She made a deal with Paige: They would make it a goal to hit five states a year. "We've already added two states this year, so you get three more. Choose wisely."
"You forget, Em, I'm an overachiever!"
They had the West Coast pretty well covered from their swim meets for Stanford, and Paige figured that they would always be able hit the states that were close to Pennsylvania. She suggested that they fly out to Texas to visit Emily's parents, then make a loop through Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana.
"Wow – the deep south? You must really be serious about this, McCullers!" Emily was teasing about Paige's choice, but she did think that it would be good to see her parents in the lead-up to wedding planning.
Emily gave Paige the A-ok after she got off the phone with her mom and dad. "They're definitely up for it. They agreed that it would be good for us to get together since we're about to get serious in our wedding planning."
"Great!" Paige enthused. "It's on! So how are they doing?"
"They're doing fine." Emily rolled her eyes. Paige gave her a half-smile, her eyes asking for clarification on the eye-roll. "My Dad asked whether or not you were taking good care of his baby. For a second, I actually thought that he was talking about me."
When Paige and Emily decided to head back to Rosewood, Wayne asked Paige to take his bike – his "baby" – out for a spin every once in a while, to keep it tuned up.
"Don't roll your eyes! It's a beautiful machine. It's natural for him to be concerned about it!"
"It just cracks me up, this whole bromance that you two have going on."
"Can I help it if we like the same things? Motorcycles, the firing range…" She fished for a third item to complete the list, finally blurting out, "You!"
"Yeah, smooth one, Paige. I'm glad that I made the top three. I just wonder whether he'd be so excited about letting you ride his bike if he knew what those rides lead to afterwards."
Paige laughed. "I'm sure that he knows, Emily. I mean, he used to take your mom out riding, right?"
"Ew! Ew! Ew!" Emily smacked Paige on the shoulder with each "Ew." "Gross, Paige – they're my parents!"
"So?"
"So, they've never had sex!"
"They must have had sex at least once, Em!"
"No, Paige. I don't want to think about that! That's not how I got here! The stork brought me!"
"Jeez – just imagine how hard it's going to be for our kids to wrap their heads around the subject."
"Well, I'm sure that 'Health' class will cover a lot more of the bases by the time our kids start asking questions."
"You know that life isn't going to be like this all the time, right?" Emily asked, spooned up with Paige, awake with her thoughts when she should have been sleeping.
"What do you mean?" a very sleepy Paige responded.
"We won't always be able just to pick up and go away for a month whenever we feel like it. We won't always be able to charge everything to a credit card and not have to worry about the bills."
"Of course I know that, Em! That's why I keep telling you that we should be making the most of the opportunity while we have it!"
"And that's why I think that we should be giving back. Not everybody has this charmed life that we do. It's only right that we invest in the lives of others who don't have it so nice."
Paige kissed the back of Emily's head. "You have a great heart, Emily. I really love that about you. So, what did you have in mind?"
Emily turned around and put a hand on Paige's chest, idly running her finger along the outline of the collar on the t-shirt that Paige had worn to bed. "Well, there are always veterans groups in Army towns. When we go out to Fort Hood, we can spend a day volunteering. You might be able to help out at the VA hospital, with your physical therapy background, or we could just spend time with some of the men and women who don't have families to visit them."
Paige nodded, liking the idea. "In Oklahoma," Emily continued, "we could get in touch with a Native American group or maybe the United Way. I'm sure that they could always use a couple of volunteers. Same thing in Arkansas and Louisiana – we could help the Red Cross or the United Way, or some local charities."
"Or an 'It gets better' group?"
"Yeah, something like that!"
Paige cupped Emily's cheek and gave her a kiss. "That's a great idea, Em. I'm with you a hundred percent. I love these ideas you come up with late at night in bed."
"Yeah?" Emily returned the kiss. "The last time that you told me that, it was about sneaking around to your old bedroom in your dad's house!"
Paige laughed, kissing Emily again. "Well, don't get me wrong, I love the sexy ideas, too. But I do love this idea so much. We should make a point of volunteering when we do our five states every year. That could be one of the traditions that we have in place when we start a family: Every vacation, we set aside one day to volunteer somewhere."
Emily kissed Paige, nodding enthusiastically. "I knew that there was a heart in there, Paige McCullers," she smiled, tracing her finger over Paige's chest in the shape of a heart.
Paige smoothed her hand through Emily's hair. "I guess you just bring out the best in me, Emily Fields." Emily kissed her. "You bring out the beast in me, too, sometimes!" she chuckled.
"Mmm," Emily hummed into Paige's lips as she trailed her hand down Paige's side, surprising her at the end with a pinch on her ass. "I definitely want to bring out the beast tonight!" she grunted with a devilish laugh.
"So, are you going to be Grumpy Paige today?" Emily asked as they got ready to head to the airport.
The question itself made Paige a little grumpy. "Emily, all those flights we took at Stanford, was I grumpy?"
Emily took Paige's hands hands in hers, hoping that the physical contact would help them back away from the adversarial tone that the conversation had taken. She really was concerned, though. She wanted to be able to enjoy the trip, not just the destination. "That's true, Paige. You weren't grumpy on those trips. But they were different. Those trips were shorter, we had the whole team to distract us, and we were all pumped up for competition. Let's face it," she tilted her head and let her voice inflect higher for the rest of the phrase, "and I say this out of love: Waiting in an airport for a long flight with connections, it's not the most fun time to be around you." She lowered her head and looked up at Paige, raising her eyebrows to ask for confirmation.
Paige released Emily's hands and put her arms around her waist. She kissed her and affirmed, "I'll be on my best behavior. I promise." Emily smiled and kissed her back, not letting her skepticism show.
The problem wasn't so much Paige's grumpiness, but the way that she handled her grumpiness. When she was in a bad mood, she tended to draw into herself to recharge her batteries. Emily, on the other hand, drew her energy from those around her. When she was having a bad day, she needed to talk and needed to feel connected to the people whom she held the closest. Over their time together, the two had become more sensitive to each other's needs. Paige tried to be in physical contact, at least – holding Emily's hand or sitting close enough that their bodies were touching – when she was in her withdrawn moods. Emily, for her part, tried to give Paige some space when she saw that Paige needed to re-energize. It was during times when they were both under stress at the same time that things became difficult, as they both reverted to type. Emily dreaded those times. They made her feel as if Paige didn't need her.
Paige was pulling her tighter. "I know that it's hard, because we're so different."
Emily nodded into Paige's shoulder. "I'm not going to let it ruin the trip for me, though."
Paige picked up Emily's chin and looked into her eyes. "I've gotten better, though?" she pleaded, with adorable puppy-dog eyes.
Emily smiled and kissed her. "You've got a long way to go, McCullers!" She put her head on Paige's shoulder and ran her hands across Paige's back, pulling her still closer to her. They enjoyed that moment, gaining energy from one another, inhaling each other, being together, until Hanna impatiently called to them from downstairs.
Emily took a step back, flipped her hair into place, and shot Paige a "We can do this!" smile before she stepped in again to give her a kiss of encouragement. Paige gave her the thumbs up and grabbed their bags.
The trip wasn't as horrible as Emily had feared that it would be. Thankfully, there weren't any delays, and they didn't have to rush to make their connecting flight, so Paige's stress level was low. This meant that her interaction level with Emily was relatively high. That, in turn, helped Emily with her fear of take-offs and landings. Emily had gotten somewhat better with all the flights to and from Stanford for holidays, summer vacations, and Spring Break, plus all of the times that the team flew to competitions. Still, she was much better when she had Paige to talk with her and keep her mind occupied. She was thinking about this in the air, on the final leg of their flight: How much better things were when Paige was with her. Her arm was interlocked with Paige's and her head was on Paige's shoulder. Paige was asleep, her head resting on a bunched-up jacket next to the window. Emily leaned over and kissed her lightly on the cheek, and Paige smiled in her sleep.
When the plane finally touched down, the man who had been sitting in the aisle seat next to them helpfully retrieved their carry-on bags from the overhead bins. He was a couple of years older than them, by the looks of it. "I hope that you don't mind my asking," he said with a smile that Emily couldn't quite read, "but are the two of you together?"
Emily could feel Paige going on the defensive. She reached for Paige's hand and replied, sweetly, "Yes, we are," turning her smile to Paige. Paige was giving the man a hard, blank stare.
There was a moment of awkward silence and awkward smiles before the man said, "Well, enjoy your stay in Texas," and took his place in the aisle.
Paige headed to the luggage carousel while Emily went off to the rental car counter. Wayne had offered them his car for the month, saying that he could bicycle to work, take the post shuttle, or get a ride with one of his buddies, but they declined, realizing that going a month without a car would be more than they could ask of Emily's parents.
While Paige watched other people's luggage spin around and around, hers and Emily's nowhere in sight, the man who had been sitting next to them on the plane walked up next to her. "Listen, I hope that I didn't give you and your… partner?"
"Fiancée," Paige corrected, in no uncertain terms. Her guard was still up.
"Fiancée," he echoed, "Wow, that's great. Anyway, I didn't want to give you two the wrong impression. Sometimes, I just don't know what to say, but, I just – well, I saw the way that you two really care for each, and it was an inspiration." Paige tried her best to smile. "I just, I didn't want to sound patronizing, or make it sound as though you needed any approval from me. Ugh. I'm not really saying this well, am I?" Emily had pulled up, by this time. She gave Paige a concerned look and grabbed her hand, to make sure that she was okay, knowing how uncomfortable Paige could get one-on-one with a stranger. Especially this stranger, who had already managed to get on Paige's bad side.
"I was just telling your fiancée," the man continued, "that I wish you all the best. I mean there's a lot of negativity in the world, and I'm sure that you face your share of it, so, I just wanted to say something." He awkwardly extended his hand.
Emily shook his hand and smiled, "Thank you. That means a lot. We appreciate it." The man smiled and gave them some space, heading to another section of the carousel to wait for his bags. Emily cupped Paige's cheek and asked, "Are you okay?"
Paige nodded. "He was actually being sincere, Em. He's probably not used to seeing same-sex couples in real life, and he just wanted to make an effort," she reasoned with herself in answer to Emily's question.
It was late on Thursday evening by the time Paige and Emily made it to her parents' apartment. Pam gave them both long hugs. Wayne hugged them, too, though not as long, before he excused himself to go to bed. His 5:00 wake-up time was fast approaching. Pam offered to heat up some of that night's dinner for them, but they told her that they would be fine, so she went to join her husband. Emily foraged around in the refrigerator for a bit. They weren't really hungry, but they weren't ready to go to bed. They just wanted to extend the evening and decompress together for a while. They ended up sitting at the kitchen counter sipping on glasses of sweet tea, not really saying much. There wasn't much to say.
"Do you think that this is what it's going to be like after we've been married for about ten years?" Emily asked, wondering aloud about their moment of shared silence.
"Oh, yeah. I could definitely see this. Once the kids are finally in bed, hanging out in the kitchen, you, me, hot coffee instead of iced tea, too tired to talk, but not wanting to leave each other's company just yet."
"Mmm. That sounds so.. good. I can't wait to have a family with you" Emily was smiling, but she could barely keep her eyes open.
Paige rinsed their glasses and placed them in the dishwasher. She wiped the counter clean. "Come on, Emily," she sighed. "Let's get you to bed."
Emily threw her hands around Paige's neck. "Carry me?" Paige laughed and reached down, pulling up Emily's legs and carrying her to the bedroom. Emily yelped. "No, Paige, I was joking! Put me down! Put me down!" she giggled.
"Shh! You'll wake your parents!" Paige had an arm beneath Emily's legs and one underneath her back, as Emily's arms encircled Paige's neck, clinging for dear life. When they reached the bedroom, Paige used the hand under Emily's legs to turn the doorknob, backing up into the door to open it. She laid Emily down on the bed and sat downbeside her, stroking her hair.
"Shit, Paige," Emily said, suddenly wide awake. "I forget how freaking strong you are!" She sat up, pushing Paige on her back, kissing her intensely.
"Em – don't start anything that we can't finish in your parents' apartment!" Paige cautioned.
Emily laughed seductively, lightly Paige's bottom lip with her teeth. "To be continued - in Oklahoma!" she promised.
