Konata and Kagami are sitting at a café being served by Satoshi.

"Here's your drink," Satoshi puts a glass of Lemonade on the table in front of Konata. Satoshi then placed a fork, knife, a napkin and a plate of fish right in front of Kagami. "And I believe this is yours."

Kagami shook her head. "No, I actually ordered soda."

"Oh, I must have heard wrong." Satoshi picked up the fish, knife, fork and napkin.

*

Meanwhile, Akira and Shiraishi are at the Lucky Channel set, laughing non-stop...


A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000

In association with Tai Enterprises

A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project

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Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuff

*

Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...


[Previously on Konata Izumi, J.P.]

Konata: "Back in Japan, it turns out that Vegetable has an actual bomb!"

Vegeta is pressing a few buttons on a panel.

*

Konata has finally returned to Japan to deal with Vegeta's bomb. Konata pulls Kagami through a corridor.

"Come on, Kagamin! The bomb's this way!"

"Yeah yeah. I hope you know what you're doing."

"By the way, Kagamin. The bomb will explode in 3 seconds."

"What?"

*

The bomb explodes, causing an explosion that shook the building.

"KONATA!"

*

[Opening Sequence]

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A car crashed through a shopping mall.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi]

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]

Konata climbs into a submarine.

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

[And Tsukasa Hiiragi as the Other Twin]

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Tonton is wearing a professor's coat and goggles.

[Special Guest Star: Tonton as Admiral Oink]

A Pikachu is water-skiing...

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 2]

*

Darkness...

Konata: "Is this the end of Konata Izumi, Japanese President? You know, they say that your life flashes before your eyes before you are about to die..."

[Konata's Flashes]

Konata: "My life as an Otaku..."

Konata is sitting on a bench at an Anime Convention after doing a lot of shopping.

Konata: "Taking every opportunity to force Kagami to Cosplay..."

Kagami is modeling in Sakura Kinomoto's Winter School Uniform from Card Captor Sakura as Konata clapped.

Konata: "Abusing my power..."

Konata sends an angry glare at Kenji. "I'm giving you a big Shiny Kick to the head if you don't stop!"

Konata: "Not to mention that I had other plans before Vegetable ruined it all. I had planned to meet my American Heroes: Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Stuart Little Mouse..."

*Konata: "Don't forget that I even add in a few quips in between scenes..."*

*Konata: "Twitter Time!"*

*Konata: "Konata Von Karma owns you all!"*

*Konata: "I can do an awesome Haruhi!"*

Konata opened her eyes in the darkness, making a quick realization from that last quip.

"Wait a minute. I'm the Main Character of a hit Anime Series. I can't die that easily. Time for some Haruhi Ex Machina!"

*

[Episode 7: Haruhi Walks]

Konata's Narration: "It turns out that I'm not dead. In fact, I am the Second Coming, with the first being Haruhi..."

Konata is walking into KonaHQ. "Hey, everybody! I'm back!"

*

Konata: "And to celebrate my resurrection, I decided to call my favorite Michael Jackson impersonator, Orochimaru."

Konata dialed a few random numbers, but there was no answer.

"Geee, I hope nothing happened to Orochimaru."

*

Konata: "I decided to consult my scientific advisor, Professor Admiral Oink, for advice on how to celebrate..."

Konata is in a lab with a pig wearing a lab coat and goggles.

"So, Admiral Oink, what do you suggest?" asks Konata.

"Oink."

"Oh, so you're thinking I should get my own TV show?"

"Oink."

"Sure thing. I'll get straight to it right away..."

*

Konata: "So I went and got myself my own Lifestyle TV show..."

-Insert Dr. Phil theme-

[Dr. Kona]

Konata is on stage. "Alright, time for us to begin my new show with a question. Who wants to kill me?"

"Me!" "Me!" "I do!" "Go and die, Ms. President!"

"Oh crap," mumbled Konata. Konata turns her attention to Kagami, who happens to be the stagehand. "By the way, has Orochimaru called back yet?"

*Konata: "This KonaVision Program is brought to you by McAnimes, the only place to eat in the Anime World!"*

Konata is at her desk with Tsukasa holding some books. "Man, what an episode. I just came back to life, hosted my own TV show and have people trying to kill me."

Tsukasa smiled. "Well, I'm glad you're still alive, Kona-chan."

Konata gives the thumbs up. "Of course. I had a Kona-Tastic time, Tsukasa!"

[End of Episode 7]

[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]

[A Blue Ahoge Production]

Konata: "Where am I?" (Poof of smoke...)


Kagami walks into a bookshop where Satoshi is at the counter.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for the newest volume of Negima, but I can't seem to find it. Can you help me?"

Satoshi nods. "Sure."

Satoshi walks into the storeroom and after a while of finding things in the backroom, Satoshi walks out of the storeroom with a fish on a plate and puts it in front of Kagami.


At the Ryoo High School Gymnasium, Nanako Kuroi is waiting for her students to leave the locker rooms to play Basketball for PE.

Tsukasa and Miyuki walked out of the locker rooms, dressed in their sports attire, ready for their PE class.

However, Konata walks out of the change room dressed in a red suit and white beard carrying a bag full of presents.

Nanako frowned. "Izumi, I said you'd be playing Center..."


[Post Lucky*Star Snippet]

Konata, Yui and Yutaka were walking in a shopping mall when Konata looked into her shopping bag.

"Damn, they gave me the wrong DVD. I'm going to have to go back and get the right one. I'll meet you guys back here in five minutes."

As Konata runs off, Yui saw the sign pointing towards the Ladies' toilets. "Yutaka, do you mind waiting here for me while I make a quick dash to the Ladies'?"

Yutaka is left alone with the bags in front of an oversized UFO Catcher. Yutaka looked to see what Plushies are available for grabs. "Oh, that's a cute Pikachu Plushie. I want it." Yutaka walked towards the coin machine...

[5 Minutes Later...]

Yui and Konata returned to find the shopping bags left alone. A panicked Yui began to walk around in circles. "Oh no. Where's Yutaka?"

"Calm down, Yui-neesan! She must be nearby if the bags are still here."

Then, a knock nearby attracted the cousins' attention. They find Yutaka trapped inside the oversized UFO Catcher.

"Help me, Onee-chan! Konata-neesan!"

"How the HELL did you get in there?!" Yui screamed.

Yutaka is in tears. "I don't know. I somehow ended up in here when they filled it with more Plushies."

"Right now, we need to rescue Yutaka!" Yui makes a dash to the coin machine. After getting the change, Yui prepares to rescue her little sister.

"Don't worry. Your big sister is coming to your rescue!"

Yutaka points at the console. "Nee-san, that button..."

"No worries. I know what the buttons do." Yui puts the money and attempts to use the claw to grab Yutaka. (Considering Yutaka's small stature in an oversized UFO Catcher, it's possible) However, being on a skill level way below Konata's, Yui could only get a few near misses while trying to grab Yutaka.

Yui groaned as her attempt failed once more. "Not again! Could you try not to move, Yutaka? Every time I try to grab you, the claws can't seem to get a good grip."

Konata grinned. "Well, it's time for an expert to step in. If you don't mind..."

Yui stood aside so that Konata can take control the claw to rescue her cousin. Yui points at a button on the console. "That button..."

Konata rolled her eyes. "I know what the buttons do, Yui-neesan. And I can do it without the author telling the readers how I'll get the job done."


Kagami is performing surgery in the Operating Theater with a group of surgeons.

"BP is 125/80."

"Core Temperature is falling!"

Kagami nods. "Alright, I need forceps, now!" Kagami raised her hand, waiting for her tool...

One of the surgeons gives Kagami a fish.


[Portions not affecting the outcome of this fanfic have not been included...here's one of them now:]

Satoshi and Konata were watching TV while sitting on the couch. The TV made cartoon-type noises like the spring, the drum sounds, the homerun strikes, beating sounds, explosions, mallet smashing, followed by a cartoon finale sound effect.

Then Konata looked at Satoshi. "You're right, Satoshi. 4Kids butchered Pokémon so much that if they had dubbed Lucky Star, it would have never made it to America."

Satoshi nods. "Of course. That's how Anti-Japanese 4Kids are. Tokyo Mew Mew became Mew Mew Power and OniGiri became Jelly Donuts. Pika knows what would happen if you guys got the 4Kids Treatment."

Konata shudders at the thought. "I don't even want to imagine it..."

Satoshi and Konata continued watching TV while drinking their drinks.