Title: Anonymous.
Author: Heiwajima Shizuo.
Rating: T.
Warning: AU-ish, swearing, and innuendos. Rating might go up too.
Summary: Izaya and Shizuo have two major things in common: they both hate one another, and end up falling for an anonymous student they met over Raira's dating site. But what will they do in order to find out who they are? What'll happen when they find out who their anonymous really is?
News: I have made a new fic called 'Substitutions' which is a ShizuoxIzaya and PsychexTsugaru fic. This is the summary I made for it btw:
After angering Shizuo and getting into a fight with Tsugaru, Izaya and Psyche both switch universes. In the other universe, Izaya meets Tsugaru and in Izaya's universe, Psyche runs into a pissed off Shizuo. Although the informant and debt collector are known to hate each other, what will happen to their feelings after meeting their counter parts? Just what exactly will awaken within two of Ikebukuro's most dangerous?
So yeah.
A/N: Sorry if the relationship seems kinda sped up, I wanna get a move on so yeah.
I like him.
Now who is this 'him' exactly?
Well, you're all going to think I'm weird.
If not weird, crazy.
And if not crazy, incredibly stupid.
Anyways, who is 'him'?
Pop.
Oh, that's 'him' right now, actually.
Kanra-san: Yuuuuukiiiii-saaaaaan~!
Yeah.
Him.
Yuki-san: Hi.
Although I haven't actually met him and it's only been around 3 weeks, I don't give a fuck. And yeah, I know it's a little too, or really, early to being saying it, but I really do.
I don't care if Kanra's a guy either. When we talk, there's that little thing there.
I can't quite categorize it, but all I know is I kind of really want to meet him.
Now it may sound weird, but hear me out. Unlike other people, who decide who they 'crush on' based purely on looks, and looks alone.
I don't.
I'm not shallow like that and if you ask me, he seems to have a great personality.
Yes, even the innuendos every now and then which I've actually gotten use to. Also, with our little game of 20 questions, that has escalated to around 100, he's given deep answers like the time he asked me if I liked just guys.
Even though he still says sexual things and what not, it makes me feel good whenever he ends up opening up to me.
Looking at my clock, I yawn. It's 6 PM and I feel like crawling into bed.
… I take that back.
Currently, I am in bed already. Sitting on my bed with my laptop resting on my pillow that is placed on my lap. I can feel the bottom of my pillow warming up from the bottom of my laptop.
With much difficulty due the numbness of my fingers, that have still not healed completely, I message Kanra.
But right before I press enter, it seems that he's already beaten me to it.
Kanra-san: So what's up?
Kanra-san: Ne! Why are you still typing so slow?
Yuki-san: My hand's still kinda numb,
Yuki-san: And I'm just home on my bed.
Kanra-san: Oo~ Sexy!
Yuki-san: Not like that!
Kanra-san: Suuure~
Yuki-san: What about you?
Kanra-san: Nothing~
Yuki-san: So, are you going to the festival next week?
Kanra-san: Hmm… Not sure.
Kanra-san: It sounds interesting though.
Kanra-san: Why?
Yuki-san: Just wondering.
Kanra-san: Are you going to go?
Yuki-san: I'm not sure yet.
Kanra-san: Ne! You should go! I wanna meet Yuki-san in person~!
Kanra-san: When is it exactly?
Yuki-san: You don't know when?
Kanra-san: Nope. That's why I'm asking you!
From my spot on my bed, I reach for my school bag on the edge of my bed. After opening it, I pull out my notes and look for my holiday paper.
The holiday paper is basically a little news letter that tells us upcoming events going on in the school, off days, and festivals. I know, it sounds stupid, but it isn't. It's actually really useful. Without it, I'd probably be fucked.
Flipping through it, I see there is still around 10 days until the festival.
The festival that lead to the match making site, that lead me to talking to Kanra-san.
Yuki-san: There's still 10 days until the festival.
Kanra-san: Ne~! This is going to be fun!
Yuki-san: What are you so excited about?
Kanra-san: I get to meet my top match, duh!
Yuki-san: Why? We're just going to meet each other.
Kanra-san: I know that, but now you get to know all the things my body is capable of physically instead of having to hear it!
As I feel my face up, I smack my forehead.
Did he really have to say that?
Yuki-san: That really isn't appropriate.
Kanra-san: The truth never is, Yuki-saaan~
Kanra-san: Ever remembering asking your parents where babies came from?
I didn't bother replying because thinking about it, he really does have a point.
When Kasuka and I were still in preschool, we asked our mom and dad where babies came from. Both of them blushed instantly, although Kasuka and I didn't think much of it back then said babies were brought by storks from a secret factory in the mountains and left it at that.
And now that I'm older... man were Kasuka and I idiots.
But if I had children who asked me where babies came from, I would've done the same thing.
Although I'd probably just leave it at the storks.
'A secret factory'?
Really mom and dad?
Really?
Kanra-san: Exactly, Yuki-san.
Yuki-san: But you didn't have to say something so uncalled for! Seriously!
Kanra-san: Come on, what are you 5?
Kanra-san: It's perfectly normal for teenagers to do things with the body and to other's.
Yuki-san: I don't care! It's still weird to talk about this kind of thing!
Kanra-san: Don't worry! Once I have you in me, you'll understand and everything will be just fine~!
… What the f—
Yuki-san: OK. NOW THAT REALLY ISN'T APPROPIATE.
Kanra-san: Gosh! I was just kidding.
Kanra-san: Besides, how far I'll go with you will depend on how unattractive you really are~
Wait a minute.
Did I just get called ugly?
He doesn't even know what I look like and I've already been called unattractive.
Wow.
This kinda sucks.
As I pat my bruised ego's back and try to make it feel better after having it kicked in the balls, I type back with numb fingers.
Yuki-san: What's that suppose to mean?
I type back defensively.
Kanra-san: I have a question.
Kanra-san: Are you hot?
Yuki-san: What?
Kanra-san: You know, do you look appealing?
Kanra-san: Hot?
From my spot on my bed, I look past my computer screen to the large mirror I have hanging on the other side of my room. As I squint my eyes for a better look, I am greeted with my amber eyes staring at my reflection calculating.
Yuki-san: Uhm, I guess?
Kanra-san: What do you mean 'I guess'?
Kanra-san: Are you?
Yuki-san: I don't know!
Kanra-san: What do you look like?
Yuki-san: Why? This is really shallow, you know.
Kanra-san: Well this might be easier for me to find you at the festival you know!
Yuki-san: That makes sense, I guess.
Kanra-san: So? What do you look like, Yuki-san?
Yuki-san: Uhm… a guy?
Kanra-san: Har har, very funny.
Kanra-san: Be specific!
Kanra-san: Like, what color is your hair, ne?
After reading the question, I think hard about it.
Shit.
If I tell him my hair color, it might be a dead giveaway. I mean, this is Japan people. Most of the population isn't blonde, if you haven't noticed.
But then again, teenagers have started dying their hair blonde because of some blonde actor Kasuka is apparently working with.
Kanra-san: Well…?
Yuki-san: Blonde.
Kanra-san: Ne? A blonde?
Yuki-san: Yepp.
Kanra-san: Damn. That's kinda hot.
Kanra-san: Natural?
Yuki-san: Nope.
Kanra-san: Eye color?
Yuki-san: Amber.
Kanra-san: Ne! How unique!
Yuki-san: What about you?
Yuki-san: What do you look like?
Kanra-san: Like a dark haired sex god.
Yuki-san: Then what does a sex god look like?
Kanra-san: Me.
After pressing enter I wait for Yuki-san's reply.
Unfortunately for me, I still have no clue as to who Yuki-san really is. For someone like me, who aspires to become an informant and know every little detail about everyone in this species I love so much, this is pitiful.
I must know! But this is harder than it seems.
So with what I've just learned, Yuki-san is blonde.
Fuck!
There are tons of blondes walking around Raira ever since that actor, Gonomoru Kisuke, stepped into the spot light! And from what I've learned so far about Yuki-san is that he has a brother and is also a senior attending Raira.
Well, that's not exactly all I've learned about him, but those are the basics. Leaving it at just that, Yuki-san could be anybody!
Danmit!
Damnit!
Damn.
It.
Although I do not know exactly who Yuki-san is, I have a strange feeling it may be someone close—I have a feeling in my stomach that it's someone I wouldn't expect.
As I stare at my screen waiting for Yuki-san to reply, I remember I went over this with Namie a few weeks ago. At her house, she gave me a list of people it might be. But at some point, a major complication arose and we wasted at least half an hour talking about it.
This complication of course being the fact Namie never knew of my bisexuality.
Geez.
After that conversation, I swear I might've lost some precious IQ points!
"Are you really bi, Izaya?"
"Yeah."
"Are you serious?"
"Yeah."
"You're not lying."
"I am not lying."
"So you like both guys and girls?"
"Yeah, that's what being bisexual means."
"… You're not kidding."
"I am not kidding."
"… Really?"
And so forth.
Now dear reader, imagine having to put up with that for 30 minutes.
I swear if we weren't 'friends', I probably would've slapped her silly. I said I was bi the first time! Even though I've never thought of Namie as the stupid type, how dense do you have to be to not understand it the first time—or the second—or third—or 15th time?
Seriously.
So anyways, as she started listing people in our grade, at one point she brought up Shizuo.
Immediately, I dismissed the idea.
The thought of it being him is just idiotic.
It's virtually impossible.
Although I'm pretty sure even someone as stupid as him can use a computer, I doubt he'd sign up for something like a match making site. It just seems so out of character for him.
Then again, when it comes to him, I can never tell what he's about to do, what he's thinking, how he's feeling, or anything.
Hah. Let's just say everyone to me is like a TV channel and I am but the viewer who watches and learns as I sit there.
And amazingly I receive each channel perfectly. Or in other words, understand everyone right down to the littlest things. But with Shizuo, it's a whole nother story. Shizuo is like the one channel my TV does not have. Like the one channel where all you see is static. And because of the static, I do not know what is going on.
I do not know what is happening, I cannot predict what will happen, everything I know does not apply, much to my dismay.
With that being said, I still know Yuki-san cannot be that over powered protozoan.
It's just not possible.
Besides, Yuki-san said he's amber eyed.
Shizuo isn't. His eyes are brown!
But to my dismay, Namie continued pushing the idea of my top match being Shizuo. And of course, I denied it, called her stupid, and took a not so gentle slap to the side of my head.
And after the long debate between us, which in my opinion was obviously won by me, she went on with her list other possible candidates.
Then at one point, she landed to this one boy and well, I think she might have gotten it. I mean, I may know a lot about people, but this kid is different. Up until the day Namie told me about him, I had no clue as to who he was.
I'm fairly new, only attending Raira for a month and a half, so it really isn't my fault that I didn't know who he was at first.
Anyways, at her house the day I ran to catch up with her, she showed me a picture of him from their junior year.
And after learning that Yuki-san is blonde, and amber eyed, I think I've finally found my top match.
With my hand on my computer mouse, I move the cursor to the top right corner of my screen and minimize my chat window. Now, I open the school's homepage and begin hack into the school's files which aren't that hard to get a hold of.
It's concerning really.
If a 17 year old can hack into the school's database and read restricted files on each student, they should probably go fix that.
Pronto.
After typing in a few passwords on different pages, clicking a few things, and navigating my way through the data frame, I finally get to where I'm trying to get to; the student files.
The students files are well, files on each student. Each file contains pictures of the students from the year book, their pictures from junior high and preschool, and pictures taken at school by the photography club.
Clicking the little space that says 'Search Student Name Here' I begin to type with high interest.
'Kida Masaomi'.
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