Present day
"Maman?!" Annabelle glances in her mother's room, only to be completely alarmed not to find her mother in her chair or on her small couch. The pile of books on the side table is as consistent as ever, but her mother is nowhere to be found.
"Nurse, where is my mother?" She quickly grabs hold of one of nearby staff. This is unusual behaviour for Delphine, and her first instinct is to panic. "Has she been taken to hospital?"
"Oh, Delphine is sitting in the solarium this afternoon." Max responds with a smile. "Your mom is doing really well."
"In the solarium? With other residents?" Annabelle's eyebrows raise.
"Yes." Max smiles back, "you should go take a look."
Annabelle seems puzzled, but continues to the solarium. She finds her mother grinning and smiling, sitting closely with another resident. They clutch each other's hands, pet each other's hair as they talk, completely lost in a world of their own..
She tries to remember the last time she saw her mother so happy. When they were children? When the grandchildren had come along and absolutely delighted her? As hard as Annabelle tried she could not remember her mother looking at her father like that. Or indeed, at any other adult. This was nothing like her parents uneasy truce of a marriage, where her maman would instantly drop any conversation or argument as soon as one of the children approached.
"Maman?" She calls quietly, not truly wanting to interrupt them. Not wanting to ruin this, whatever this was, for her mother.
"It's been going on a week now." Max comments casually from behind her. "I've been working here over a year and I have never seen your mom leave her room until she realized Cosima was here."
"I"m happy my mother found a friend." Annabelle says at first, looking over the situation it seems like more. Is her mother simply craving connection? Is this a sign that her mind is going? Or is this exactly what it seems?
"Found again is more like it. You should look at the albums."
"My mother only lived in Toronto for two years." Annabelle shakes her head, "in her early twenties, before she married my father."
Matt seems to look her over carefully, "I think you should look closer."
Annabelle does as he asks, observing quietly. Her mother doesn't even notice her presence, she's so wrapped up in this old friend. She suspects, but it's not until she watches her mother lean in for a soft kiss that it truly hits her.
Her maman is in love. She's shocked for a moment or two, before she smiles. Why deny her mother this moment? Especially now. Annabelle turns to leave, before coming face to face with another nurse gaping in horror at the scene taking place on the couch.
"Oh shit…" The nurse shakes her head, her Jenny name tag firmly attached to her scrubs. "Are you going to want to transfer your mom? We can definitely put her on another wing…"
"Non…" Annabelle shakes her head without thinking. "I want my mother to be happy, and she obviously is… if it's a bit unconventional, so what?" Her own shock hasn't eased, but there's no reason to interfere. And she's not about to let anyone else interfere either. But perhaps, for now, it was best she kept this to herself. Siblings, after all, could turn this into something else.
1952
"Come on, Delphine." Cosima tugs Delphine's arm, edging her closer and closer to the water. It's a warm June day, warm enough to go swimming, at least it should be. It's colder than she'd liked, but she'd promised Delphine she'd take her swimming.
Delphine laughs and allows herself to be tugged into the surf, shrieking at the touch of the cold water to her feet. "It's cold!" It's early enough in the year that the beach isn't full, a handful of people lounge on the sand. No one quite foolhardy enough to dunk themselves into the cold water of the lake.
"It's just colder than the air… we'll be fine once we're in." Cosima insists again, not wanting to let go of Delphine's hand. They're both clad in one-piece bathing suits, the only kind Cosima's parents will permit her to wear.
Giggling they wade deeper into the water, until they are up to their waists, shivering at the cold.
"It is cold…"
"Just…" Cosima lets go of Delphine's hand only briefly to dunk herself under the water, splashing at a shrieking Delphine she laughs until they are both drenched in water. Other beach goers look at them and shake their heads. Perhaps they are too old to be acting like children.
She admits privately to herself, even as she and Delphine roughhouse in the water like overgrown children, that she wants so much more than this.
Her fantasies wander places they shouldn't. Of taking Delphine out. Of holding her closely in her arms, of kissing her lips. She'd have to be a man to do some of the things she wants to do to Delphine. Certainly, Delphine wouldn't want to be romanced by a girl. And yet… sometimes the way she looks at her, even now, shivering at the chill of the lake.
"It's too cold." Delphine is shivering next to her, "we should get out and dry off."
Reluctantly she agrees, maybe swimming was pushing it. Even on such a warm day.
"Are you alright?" Cosima asks, once they've reached the shore, pulling her now sandy towel around her shoulders. "Maybe we should have stuck to the pool after all."
"I am fine." Delphine assures her, towelling herself off over her polka-dotted swimsuit.
"Okay, so we'll wait another month to swim again." Cosima offers cheekily. "We could drive out to the country. Or to Elora Gorge." Somewhere less busy, she thinks to herself. Somewhere where she and Delphine could be alone. Being alone with Delphine was something she both craved and feared.
"I think that would be best. Or maybe only a couple of weeks." Delphine considers. "Back to mine to change?"
"You don't want to go back to Sunnyside?" Cosima offers. They'd spend the morning at the amusement park, their swimsuits already on under their clothes. They'd already tried most of the rides, though she suspected if she pushed she could sell Delphine on another round of mini golf or maybe a walk around to the old bathing pavilion.
"No. I think I've had enough for one day." Delphine wrinkles her nose. "I have sand everywhere." She picks up her blouse and skirt, shaking them out to no avail. Maybe they should have used the bathing pavilion after all.
"I used to go dancing here." Cosima turns to Delphine as they walk back to catch the streetcar.
"There was a dancehall?"
"Yup. Stopped operating two years ago, I think I could have cried." Cosima mumbles more to herself than Delphine. She'd grown up coming here, so many memories.
Delphine frowns. "Why did they knock it down?"
"They didn't, the building is still there. But they're going to demolish the whole park to put in an expressway. City plans and all that." Cosima shrugs. Maybe taking Delphine to see a dying amusement park was simply sad. On the other than, it's better to enjoy it while it's still there.
"It's a shame." Delphine glances around the area, still plenty of people enjoying it.
"It's busier when the kids are out of school."
"Not long left now." Delphine reasons approaching the streetcar stop to wait. She pulls her skirt back on, and slides her blouse over her shoulders buttoning it back up.
Cosima watches sadly, watching the creamy skin near Delphine's collarbones, on her legs, vanish under fabric. She knows now, what she is. This last month it's been impossible not to see it. She'd tried working more, tried going on two ill-thought out dates with boys her friends knew. She'd even tried restricting her time with Delphine to public places, hoping that that would stop the way her heart beat faster when she was close to the blonde.
"You should put your dress back on." Delphine advises her, her voice a low teasing whisper. "I don't think we want the conductor to see quite that much of you."
Cosima silently agrees, handing Delphine her towel and slipping back into her dress, buttoning it quickly over her plain black swimsuit.
She's surprised when Delphine's hands come to get the last couple buttons. "The streetcar is coming." Delphine explains plainly.
"Bit cold for swimming girls," the conductor comments as he takes their fare and waves them back onto the streetcar. They sit next to each other, shoulder to shoulder.
"You're quiet again today. Where are you?" Delphine looks over at her, hair still damp enough that the curls have not yet begun to truly reassert themselves.
Cosima hesitates to respond. "Just tired I guess."
"Your father is working you too hard in that shoe store." Delphine laughs a little. "I should go down there and visit you, I've missed you."
She can't say, doesn't want to say that's she's volunteered to work more. Anything in an effort to fill her days. When she's there she longs for Delphine's company. But when she's with her, it's nearly as bad.
"I missed you too." Cosima says instead, turning her head to face Delphine's. "My parents asked me to invite you up to my uncle's cottage. We're going to Canada Day weekend." It's an invitation she's been encouraged to offer. One that shows her parents are completely blind to her increasing affections.
"I'd like that." Delphine responds. "And this way I won't end up having to buy shoes!" She laughs as if this is funny, but Cosima falters. It's not long before Delphine is nudging her off of this streetcar, and onto another. She realizes they are heading directly for Delphine's. Perhaps she should offer to just go home.
Ever since that night she'd stayed over, her fantasies had run wild with her. Fantasies where Delphine is also like her. Where they kiss, declaring their love for each other. Where she dances with Delphine again, gently kissing her lips instead of staring intently. One where Delphine holds her tightly in her arms, returning her affection with equal fervour.
She's unaware she's drifted again until she feels Delphine's hand on her face.
"What is it?" A gentle hand on her face captivates her. "What's wrong Cosima?" Light hazel eyes beg hers for explanation, for a reason behind all of this. She knows Delphine can feel something different, at least when she starts to pull away.
"So did you go on that date, with that boy? The Italian one?" Cosima asks, abruptly changing the subject.
"Yes." Delphine looks back at her incredulously. "What does that have to do with any of this?"
"You should take him to Sunnyside, this weekend." Cosima suggests, "I know a really great restaurant, get fish and chips and take it out to the pier." Remodelling her fantasies and inserting some man in her place seems a strange punishment to act out on herself. But maybe if she can push Delphine far enough away…
"Why?" Delphine hops up to get off of the streetcar, they're close enough to walk now.
Cosima counters back without thinking. "Why not?" She keeps her voice purposefully low, they're not alone.
"Because I'd rather go with you!" Delphine spits back, annoyed. "What is wrong that you are trying to shove me away?"
"You think I want to shove you away?" Cosima finds her lip quivering at the thought. No Delphine at all would be worse than this…half romance or whatever it was.
"Well you're acting like it. Sometimes you're fine and then you just go cold." Delphine looks wounded looking back at her.
"I'm sorry." Cosima offers, squeezing at Delphine's hand, wanting too much to pull her into her arms. "I just figure you'd rather be with him than waste all this time with me."
"You're never a waste. And you know what?" Delphine leans in slightly, "I like you much better."
She giggles, but of course Delphine cannot mean what she wants her to mean. Another fantasy has taken up refuge in her mind; two spinster school teachers who share a modest apartment, sharing their lives. Something that doesn't quite seem possible. Some world where she and Delphine are...lovers.
"Do you mean it?" Her voice is small, vulnerable.
"Yes. Come on, let's shower to get all the sand off and I'll loan you some clothes and we can get fish and chips and walk down the pier." Delphine insists, nudging her towards her apartment. "Or we can do something else, whatever you like. But it did sound good."
"I'd like that." Cosima responds, "I just… I want to spend all my time like this."
Delphine smiles, hooking their arms together, "Me too."
