Gibbs sat at his desk staring at the reports from his team, sipping his coffee he tried to force himself to concentrate but all he could think of was the look on Kort's face when he had left that morning, that lost, miserable, desperate, forlorn look that made his heart constrict and made the guilt nearly impossible to ignore. Ever since he left that morning, he itched to make a call home, to tell Kort everything was okay with them but each time he held the phone in his hand he couldn't dial the number, not knowing if they were ok. He wanted Kort to trust him, he knew it would take a while for everything to settle down, but Trent had never reacted to him like that before; it was like a punch to the gut and he just couldn't look at the man. He knew it wasn't Trent's fault but that didn't stop it from hurting. He knew being pissed at the man wouldn't help him, that it would only serve to push Trent farther away from him and that would hurt them both in the end. He sighed, knowing the question was what was more important to him; being right or Trent?
He ran a hand over his face the guilt making him feel nauseas; he had promised Trent he wouldn't go anywhere's, that he would always be there for him and then last night when Trent had needed him he had freaked out and left him to suffer in silence only feet from him. He knew the man had stayed up afraid and hurt, he had read the betrayal in his eyes, it disturbed him however that there was understanding in Kort's eyes as well. He didn't know how many times he had told his lover that it wasn't his fault for what happened, the message had clearly not sunk in though. He turned his attention back to their reports, blinking as he tried to focus, but his mind kept flashing back to Kort's face; suddenly a horrible feeling ran through him. A huge ball of ice made itself at home in his gut as it twisted uncomfortable, he jerked his head up quickly, scanning the room, turning his eyes on his team he looked at each one carefully, finding nothing wrong with them, he got up before realizing that the feeling was for Kort. Just then the phone rang, picking it up he nearly shouted, "What?!"
Only seconds later he was slamming the phone down, telling his team to gear up, and before he could think about it he walked up to his Senior Field Agent and said in a low voice, "I need you to check on Kort. I got a bad feeling." Tony just nodded quietly and made his way silently out of the building. He prayed; hoping everything was fine.
WITH TONY.
He walked into the overly clean and empty apartment; he quietly made his way through the rooms praying that Gibbs' gut was wrong for once. He didn't particularly feel like dealing with Kort, let alone an emotional one; he still didn't like the man but he felt a smidgen of sympathy for him, which irritated him to no ends. He froze as he heard the click of a gun, the sound of a safety being removed, his blood froze in his veins even though his heart started to beat faster. He ran to the bedroom as fast as he could, sure that's where the sound was coming from, barging in he saw Kort with the gun in his shaking hands, his finger on the trigger. A lump formed in Tony's throat, without thinking he jumped on top of Kort, taking him by surprise, he knocked the gun to the side but not before Kort pulled the trigger. Both Tony and Trent sat back trying to see if they were dead, it took nearly thirty seconds to realize that both of them were fine, it was then that Kort put the gun back to his head and Tony sat in front of him, his hand resting on Kort's knee.
"Trent you don't want to do this." He said calmly.
"Actually DiNozzo I'm sure I do." Kort replied coldly.
"What about Gibbs?" He asked.
"What about him? I'm sure he'll find someone else, someone better." Trent replied even more coolly.
"I don't think so Trent, he loves you, he'd be devastated if you were to do this." He said uncomfortably.
"No he wouldn't. He doesn't love me anymore; I did something stupid last night. He was trying to give me a massage and I freaked out. I'm so stupid, and now he hates me." Kort said lifelessly.
"No, Trent. We both know that that is a normal response for a….rape victim, if anything it's Gibbs' fault, he shouldn't have pushed it. I'm sure he doesn't hate you. He sent me over to check on you. You don't do that for people you don't like." He said trying to reassure the man before him.
"I don't care. I just…I can't deal with this, it hurts too much. I just want to die, for it to go away and even with Gibbs it's not! Just leave me alone, let me die." Kort said brokenly.
"I'm sorry Trent but I can't do that. I can't let you break Gibbs' heart like that." Tony said softly.
"Just shut up! Shut up and go away!" Kort yelled angrily. He just shook his head silently.
"No. Kort, you don't want to do this. You may die but you'll be alone then. You don't want to be alone. Don't do this. Please."
"I have to; I can't keep going like this. I don't want to hear them anymore, or feel them. I don't want to be afraid anymore." Kort said desperately, a wild look in his eyes.
"What do you want Trent, besides to die?" He asked softly squeezing his knee gently.
"I just want Gibbs to love me again. I want to be whole." Trent said vulnerably.
"Gibbs does love you. It's your choice, either die and be alone, or you can live and be with Gibbs. Either way I am not leaving." He said firmly. It felt like hours they just sat there looking at each other, Tony offering what little comfort he could and Kort trying to pull the trigger. Ten minutes nearly passed before Kort let a lot out a strangled cry and dropped the gun. He grabbed it and threw it across the room, before watching Kort curl into himself, he watched unsure as Kort's shoulders began to shake.
"Can this stay between us?" He heard Kort whisper hoarsely. He merely sat by Kort's side and put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. They sat there for another half hour before Trent finally drifted off to sleep, Tony sighed and got up, repositioning Kort on the bed more comfortably and throwing a blanket over his shivering form he left the room. Sitting on the couch he made the call that he had been dreading to make.
"Gibbs."
"Hey boss, you were right something was wrong." He said tonelessly.
"What is it? Is he alright?" Gibbs asked concerned.
"Yeah now he is. He tried to kill himself. I got there just in time. Talked him down, he's sleeping now; I think you should come over. He thinks you don't love him or want him anymore." He said gently, biting his lip.
"On my way." With that Gibbs hung up.
WITH GIBBS.
It took him nearly twenty-four minutes to get to Kort's apartment; he pushed his car to its limits, getting himself nearly killed in the rush to get to his lover. He barged in, staring at DiNozzo who was pointing in the direction of the bedroom. Walking in he found Kort on the bed tossing and turning in sleep. He sighed guilt still overwhelming him, he slipped into bed next to the man he loved more than life itself and pulled him to his chest. He wrapped his arms around Trent's suffering form, wanting to comfort and protect him from everything. One hand cradled the back of Kort's head to his chest, while the other held tightly to his back, his hold like a vice. He could feel himself trembling with relief, not taking the rise and fall of Trent's chest against his for granted, he felt himself able to breathe once again as he stared at the beautiful creature in his arms. The most precious thing in his universe, the single most important person in his life and he had almost lost that today because of his childish foolishness. He stroked the back of Trent's head gently as he took in his scent, memorizing it. He would never let go of the man in his arms again, too afraid that if he did he would lose him for sure, his heart had nearly stopped when he heard Trent had almost killed himself.
"Oh Trent. How could I ever not love you?" He whispered in his ear softly, unaware that the man was awake and aware. "I will always love you more than I can say. You are precious to me, you are mine and I will not let you go. Don't ever scare me like that again." He lovingly placed a kiss to the top of Kort's head as he tried to calm his trembling.
"You're shaking." Trent said his voice muffled by Gibbs' clothes.
"You scared me Trent." He whispered hoarsely.
"I told DiNozzo not to tell you." Kort said annoyed.
"I'm glad he did." He replied.
"I……" Kort said before trailing off, pain in his voice.
"I know Trent. I know. I'm sorry. Just don't do it again, I will always be there for you, and if you ever want to do something like that again you call me. I'll come." He said a lump in his throat as he envisioned what he could have found if he hadn't sent DiNozzo when he did. He took a shaky breath in, the fear suffocating him again. He saw Trent raise his head and look him in the eyes.
"Jethro….I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. It's ok, I'm ok." Trent said as he wrapped his arms around Gibbs. They held onto each other for dear life, he didn't know how long they lay there, but it was nighttime before they were both relaxed and just smiling into each other's eyes. Trent leaned forward and placed a kiss on Gibbs lips, who smiled and kissed back.
TRENT'S POV.
Gibbs let Kort have control, as Trent deepened the kiss and viciously assaulted his mouth, a burning passion erupted inside him, as he placed his hands on both sides of Gibbs' face and kissed him, letting his hands travel down to his chest he started to slowly undress Gibbs, his mouth following his hands path as he reverently touched every square inch of Gibbs' muscular, and god-like body. Gibbs laid back, gasping as he felt himself growing hard, the sensations making him want to erupt. He threw Gibbs onto his back before straddling him, a hungry look in his eyes as he rested his hand upon Gibbs broad chest and let it travel slowly down to his erect cock, smiling he grasped it and aligned his own to Gibbs entrance, looking into Gibbs eyes to make sure he wanted this he was driven nearly to the edge as he saw the awe in Gibbs' eyes as he stared at his body. He gently prepared himself and Gibbs, before pushing into him and began making sweet love to him.
(Snipped out and shortened for NC-17 material.)
He lay on top of Gibbs, sweat pouring off both of them, his cheek against his lover's chest; he listened to his heart thumping strongly in his chest as he played with the hair. He shivered as Gibbs ran a hand down his back and rested it on his ass as the other one came around and gently rested on his mid-back. He looked up at Gibbs and smiled.
"I wasn't expecting to reach third base so early on." Gibbs said amusedly. Trent laughed outright.
"You got lucky. I was in a mood to put someone in their place." He said placing a kiss softly on Gibbs chest.
"Well you can put me in my place anytime you'd like." Gibbs said, sighing in exhaustion.
"Oh don't worry I plan to. And next time I won't be so gentle." He said.
"You like it rough Trent?" Gibbs said, He tensed, remembering Armand asking him that right before he had taken him, but he pushed it back, he had taken Gibbs. He had made him his. "Trent you ok?"
"Yeah, fine. Just…that was something…they…said." He explained timidly. Gibbs sat up and hugged him, he laughed.
"It is ok Jethro. I know you won't hurt me. But I still remember…it still hurts. But I took you. It's ok. Just, let's get dressed?" He said getting off of him and quickly getting dressed, uncomfortable to be naked any longer and just wanting to be what he deemed safe again. Getting in pajamas he returned to bed with a fully clothed Gibbs and settled his back against Gibbs chest, a warmth filled him as Gibbs threw an arm over him and pulled him closer, and put his face on top of his.
"I love you Jethro." He said nervously.
"I love you too Trent. Sleep."
"Yes, Sir." He said smirking.
"You are lucky I'm too exhausted from our extracurricular activities to hit you." Gibbs said.
"Oh I'm so afraid. I'm CIA I could kill you and get away with it. So watch it." He said. Gibbs laughed and nibbled affectionately on his ear.
"You wouldn't." Gibbs purred.
"Push it and you'll find out." He said smiling evilly.
"You'd miss me too much." Gibbs said warmly.
"Yeah I would." He answered looking into Gibbs eyes, who smiled and kissed him gently on the lips.
"I'm glad you didn't do it Trent." Gibbs said in a raw voice.
"I know you are." Trent said in a dead voice. Gibbs frowned.
"But you aren't." Gibbs stated dully.
Shrugging he said, "I'm not sure anymore."
"I know it may seem selfish of me to ask, but hold on for me, ok?" Gibbs whispered softly in his ear.
"I….I'll try. For you." He answered; Gibbs tightened his arms around him, making him smile before he fell asleep.
